Tale of a Tooth

by Rogers, Allie;

  Meemaw orange as the lolly. Ducks were there three. Two seagulls pretending like ducks. Sitting up in the water not flying in the sky.

  Of ducks I like green shiny head ones. Best is the goose who is grey. Once grey goose must to be catched of two men in a net. I watched them. I thinked they were going to eat him but Meemaw telled me not.

  On the next day they bringed him back. Me and Meemaw saw it. One man was growly voice.

  You the reception committee?

  Meemaw laughed.

  Where’s he been?

  Vet, would you believe? Bit of arthritis in his leg but otherwise healthy.

  The men had welly trousers of walking in the water and putting him back.

  Today he was on the little island of the pond. Grey goose otherwise healthy.

  Next time we come we’ll bring them a bit of bread and you can feed them, yes?

  I didn’t say. I throwed them grass. It went sinked in the water.

  Meemaw’s phone buzzed and she looked.

  Oh! Oh, I hadn’t realised how late it was, Danny! Come on! We need to get home!

  She holded my hand.

  Come on!

  I standed still.

  Come on, love! It’s late, it’s tea time.

  Her orange washed away fast. Meemaw was swirly in her colours. Yellow green brown coming up wishy washing. Pulled but just gently. I went.

  All going along Meemaw was doing big steps for rushing. I runned beside. Buzz buzz her phone. Meemaw letted go my hand did a message still walking.

  Come on, Danny!

  Meemaw’s coat flappy flap round her legs. Big bigger steps. At our corner Meemaw was puffy.

  Poor Karen’s been waiting on our step for us after a horrid day at work. Let’s run this last bit and let her in quick… Come on, Danny! I’ll race you!

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Karen standed on our steps with orange bags from Sainsbury’s that is expensive. Meemaw mouse scampered up the steps.

  I’m sorry to leave you outside! We lost track of time in the park.

  Karen putted her arm round Meemaw pulled hard. Kissed on her face. Meemaw was going in her pockets for the key. Then trying to get it in the hole. All the time Karen pulling kissing her. Sudden she letted go.

  That’s okay, babe, I’ve only had the day from hell.

  A slanty smile she maked.

  Sorry. It was so lovely, we went to see the ducks.

  Karen picked up the bags went in.

  Indoors Karen hanged her coat first on the Meemaw peg. Meemaw coat on top. I putted my coat under where it goes on the floor with my shoes. Karen very sudden loud shouted.

  You can pick that up, young man, your mum’s not your servant, you know?!

  Meemaw’s head twizzled fast. Meemaw eyes fast over me.

  It’s all right, K. We usually just leave his coat there, honey. It’s fine.

  Karen floppled in the armchair. Eyes closed. Meemaw by the tap with the kettle underneath getting filled up. I standed still.

  Young man young man gone on a circle in my head. Nasty words of hardness. Must to say it out to get it out. I whispered. I maked such tiny of a sound.

  Young man.

  Karen’s eyes popped open. Spiked me. She heared me. She spiked me for it.

  Meemaw speaking maked Karen look away.

  What’s in the bags, K?

  Meemaw pointing at the orange bags of Sainsbury’s.

  I told you I was going to cook something tonight.

  Oh, really?

  I told you, Nat, this morning.

  Oh, I don’t remember. But that’s a lovely surprise!

  I pulled the dinosaur land far to the bathroom door flatted it almost. Just one rumple. I lied on it.

  Meemaw bringed me a glass of water. I had some putted it on the floor near. Meemaw taked tea to Karen. I watched from behind Apato. He standed on the blowed-up rock of squashy and I peeped.

  Cheers, babe. I need this…

  She drinked of it then taked Meemaw’s hand pulled Meemaw on her lap. Meemaw’s tea still by the kettle far away.

  I watched them Meemaw and Karen. Didn’t want to. My eyes had getted stuck. Meemaw kissed Karen on her forehead for let me go now. Like bedtime. Let me go now. She tried to get up.

  Noooo!

  Karen had a little voice all squeaky. Her two arms on Meemaw’s middle squeezed. Little voice of a baby.

  I don’t want to let you go.

  Meemaw did a squiggle for really let go.

  Come on, K! That’s enough!

  Karen holded on. Meemaw squiggled again then sitted still. Karen holded tight I saw.

  Hey, Professor! So, what’ve you been up to today?

  Not looking at me but talking to me. Then sudden she did look. My air all gone. A wee need came. Sharp. Meemaw was looking too at me. In Meemaw’s look was say. Was be a good boy Danny.

  I’ve been adventuring the dinosaurs.

  What?

  I’ve been adventuring the dinosaurs.

  Playing with the dinosaurs, eh? No shit.

  She drinked more tea her eyes letted me go. I looked down at the puffy rock. The edges were crinkles. I shrinked tiny and went in a crinkle waiting. Waiting. Hoping. Go go.

  Sorry you’ve had a rough day, K. You must be tired.

  You’ve no fucking idea.

  Our flat filled up of shit fucking very rude we don’t say. Some people Danny are offended the words upset them.

  Meemaw was gone a new colour. Colour of the walls in the Job Centre. Sometimes tea with too much of milk. Meemaw calls it gnat’s piddle. Piddle is wee. Meemaw says gnat’s piddle. I say it too. Cheeky boy and laughing. Us together. But no laughing now. Stillness. All still in our flat just Karen’s arm up down drinking tea. She maked a slurp.

  So, I’m doing a chicken curry.

  Oh.

  Problem?

  It’s just, I kept meaning to tell you, babe, but we’re actually vegetarians.

  Meemaw hadn’t turned off the tap all the way properly. Trickle drip trickle drip I needed a wee very.

  But I bought you hot dogs at the pictures and you ate them! Why the bloody hell didn’t you say?

  I’m sorry, darling. It was just you’d already bought them…

  Yeah, and I’ve bloody bought five quid’s worth of decent chick-en now!

  Karen’s voice gone up like a thumb stuck on the phone. Gone to shouting.

  Sorry! I’m sorry!

  Karen letted go of Meemaw. Meemaw getted up went to her tea. Meemaw standed by the kettle looked away. Karen’s voice came hard words each one hard throwed down on the floor.

  It doesn’t matter. I guess I can’t do anything right for you, can I?

  What?

  I can’t get anything right. If you leave me standing on the bloody step like an idiot, I suppose I should take the fucking hint.

  Karen, I don’t know what you’re talking about, love, we were just in the park. I’m sorry about…

  No! You don’t want me here or the meal I’m offering to cook for you. I should just go. That’s what you want, isn’t it? I’ll save you the trouble of kicking me out! I’ll just go!

  All her words came faster faster down a hill. I thinked in my head gogogogogogo! A ratatata gun fired inside me.

  But she didn’t go. Karen sitted very still. Hanged down her head. Meemaw came beside.

  Oh K, love, don’t take it like that. I’m so sorry you’ve had a hard day and we weren’t here when you arrived. And now this. How about if we do a veg curry? I’ve got potatoes in.

  Karen didn’t say.

  We’ll pop your chicken in the fridge and I’ll make a veg curry, yeah?

  Karen did a sigh putted her hand swoosh in her hair. Her voice came quietly again.

  Thing is I can’t do enough for you, can I, Nat? I help you out. I do the whole day at work, I come back to make you a meal, and it’s all not good enough for you, is it? If you don’t want me here you only have to say, babe, and I’m gone, I’m gone…<
br />
  I thinked say Meemaw. Say and gone. Meemaw didn’t say. Meemaw was just looking at Karen. Karen speaking more.

  Is it because of him? Won’t he eat meat or something?

  What?

  Cos I’ve noticed he gets every little thing he wants round here, so I just thought maybe it’s him who doesn’t like meat.

  Meemaw putted her two hands up of that’s enough now Danny. But not Danny. Karen.

  Karen, you’re being ridiculous!

  Karen standed up fast. Blue eyes big. Shout shout each every word.

  I’m fucking ridiculous, am I, Natalie? I’m fucking ridiculous coming round here pandering to you? Well fuck you then! Fuck you!

  Karen throwed our green mug. Saily up in the air. Tea flied out like a wing of it. Crack! Green mug hit the kitchen cupboard and falled in two lumps on the floor. One Meemaw cry of a sea gull then the crack then quiet. Just drippy dribbly tap.

  I squiggled under the table to against the wall looked at our hairy carpet tiles the tea had falled on. A wet wing. Very dark. Big broken chunky of our mug. Sharp edges lying.

  Meemaw came. Came right then. She bended down holded out her arms. I crawled into the Meemaw circle. She standed us up. We were a two heads creature and Meemaw talking in a voice of a wobble. I feeled in her chest the thump thump.

  I think you’d better go.

  Karen went staggery at our kitchen table like a old old man on the wobbly bus. Sitted down plonk. Putted her hands on her face. Karen, I think you should go.

  Oh oh oh!

  Karen cried it out. Bursted into tears.

  Loud the crying! Loud! I holded my ears maked hummmm. Not enough. Loud the words came of Karen in wailing.

  I always do this… I fuck everything up! Everything! I fuck everything up!

  Karen, I’m sorry but I want you to go.

  Karen didn’t go. Didn’t get up even. Sitted by our table.

  I caaaaaaaaan’t! I can’t bear to… Bear to fuck this up… You’re so… So perfect… it’s meant! It’s meant for us to be…

  Karen’s shoulders were wobbly wobbly.

  I pushed my face in. In my Meemaw’s smell. Eyes closed two hands hard on my ears. Counting.

  At 132 Meemaw tried of put me down. I pinched on tight. Meemaw bended down to the floor pushed me off gentle. All the time mmm mmm her voice. I loosed my ear just one to hear.

  Danny. Danny, love, just wait by your dinosaurs a minute now. It’s okay. It’s okay.

  Meemaw getted Karen’s trainers. Her jacket from the Meemaw peg. She crouched down by Karen.

  Here. Here you go.

  Karen not crying now. Still. Staring. Not looking at Meemaw. Blinked then. I did a jump.

  I love you so much, Nat. I’m just so scared, I’m so scared. Please. Please don’t.

  Quiet her voice. Still not looking at Meemaw but away away like a screen was come on the wall. Like she was watching something else someone else. Meemaw putted her arms round Karen cuddled her. Cuddled her a long time.

  Karen looked at Meemaw’s face close then.

  Can I make it right, Nat? Can I make it right with you? Let me clean it all up and then I could… I dunno… How about if I went to the burger place and got us all veggie burgers and chips and Cokes? Please. I can’t bear to leave now without making it right. Please, please let me make it right.

  Quiet again but drippy tap fast as fast. My rumpeting heart fast too.

  I think it might be best if you just go tonight, K. Just for tonight I think it might be best if we had a bit of space and time to calm dow…

  Karen bursted into tears again. Loud very. Waily again.

  This is it, isn’t it? You’re dumping me, aren’t you? I’ve ruined it! Aaaaaaargh!

  Karen bumping bumping her head with her fists all closed up. Meemaw grabbed her wrists holded on tight.

  Okayokayokayokayokay… Baby, stop it now.

  Meemaw maked a big huff sigh her shoulders up then down.

  K, look, go in the bathroom and wash your face and I’ll get this cleaned up. I want a word with Danny and then we’ll see. We’ll talk in five minutes, okay?

  Karen nodded. Went in our bathroom. Shutted the door.

  I runned to Meemaw. Holded on tight.

  It’s okay, Danny. It’s okay. She just got upset. She’s just upset. There’s nothing to be scared of.

  Meemaw picked me up. Inside full as full of wee but Karen in our bathroom. I bited my teeth hard closed. Pinched my willy one hand tight.

  Look, poppet, how about if I say we’ll have tea with her and then she goes home? How about that?

  Wee hurted hurted inside. Then a turn of dark in my tummy a mighty poo I feeled. All the things in me moving. Meemaw whispered.

  I know it must have been a bit scary, love, but she’s just upset, Danny. She’s upset. Sometimes people have lost a lot in their lives and the fear… Oh God, how can I explain this to you?

  Scrunched my willy. Whispered in Meemaw’s ear very close. Hot. I smelled the smell of my mouth air. I whispered.

  Make her go, Meemaw.

  Meemaw maked a big sigh again.

  Danny, I promise you she won’t stay tonight, but I can’t turn her out in that state. It’s not the right thing to do, Dan.

  Meemaw putted me down. Meemaw picking up broken mug I went back under the table. Watched.

  Karen came out our bathroom. Her face splotchy of red patches. A sniff. She looked at Meemaw a smile of cheeky like a joke. Meemaw not looking though.

  Meemaw busy posting mug bits thunk thunk in our bin. Karen went near. Falled on her two knees.

  Watch out! There might be splinters!

  Nat, I was an arsehole and I give you my most humble apology.

  She swizzled round her knees and looked at me. Quick I looked down.

  Professor, likewise.

  Meemaw taked her hand pulled her up.

  You are a bloody drama queen, Karen Henderson!

  Karen smiled very big. Big empty. A gone broken smile. Of our mug broken. I feeled it very sharp.

  Karen opened her arms and Meemaw went in them. I feeled the great moving. Earthquake of hurt. Pinched my willy tight. Bathroom door open but I didn’t want to get out. And Karen all around my Meemaw. All around.

  I’ll go and get the burgers, yeah?

  Kissed Meemaw on her hair. Letted go.

  Okay, you do that. But, K, I don’t think you should stay tonight. I just want that clear now and it’s not a big thing, it’s just I think we could do with a little break. All of us.

  Meemaw’s voice speedier up and up. To get the words out. Fast.

  The eyes of Karen round. Blink blink.

  Understood. You’re right. You’re right, babe. And what’s the hurry when we’ve got the rest of our lives?

  Karen banged our door banged the other door. Gone.

  I scrambled out from under fast runned to the bathroom. I did a sitting down wee waited for it the mighty poo. Meemaw not came to me.

  Meemaw!

  Meemaw not came. Poo not came. All inside was heavy. All was stopped. I washed hands dried hands all by myself.

  Meemaw was by the window her back. Watching out. Not came to me. Not here. Careful and watching.

  I getted the dinosaurs lined up. On our table top standing strong. Meemaw turned round sudden. No colour to be seen. Her voice quiet and the drippy tap still drippy.

  Are they all joining us for tea? Is it a party, Dan?

  I didn’t say. I didn’t say any of words to Meemaw at all. Brrring the bell and Meemaw went to let Karen back in.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  This time it was true of Karen not staying. When I waked up I was in our bed no Karen in our flat. A sunny day and Meemaw by the window.

  Guess what, Danny? We’re going to visit your grandad Mick.

  The sun was falled on Meemaw. Her long hair of shines but her colour still strange. Pale of the gnat’s pee tea.

  Why are we Meemaw?

  We’ll go on the train aga
in, isn’t that exciting? Do you want krispies?

  I eated my krispies. Little rain drop of milk falled down from the spoon on its way to my mouth. I liked it raindrops. I maked more and more. Meemaw not looking. Meemaw smoking her rolly by the window. Far away.

  Is Karen coming Meemaw? Meemaw?

  No.

  On the train was the sun flicker flicker through the trees. We speeded by. I went in it the flicker flicker. I maked a flickery noise of it.

  Train said no Karen no Karen no Karen to me. Me and Meemaw away on the train. It was a good thing. Right thing.

  See the sheep, Danny?

  I did I did I saw sheep fat fluffy white in the field then gone again.

  Look up quick! The windmills!

  I missed them. Always I miss them.

  Then bang the great darkness of the tunnel. I climbed on Meemaw’s lap closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see us be tunnel people. I holded on my Meemaw and waited.

  Inside of Meemaw her heart clump clump then the train went to ratttttle and we were out. I getted down. I standed by the window until Brighton. No Karen and a good journey. A great journey of goodness.

  Come on, Dan, we’re changing trains!

  Meemaw taked my hand we runned fast in the station of a high up roof. All maked of glass up high and blue sky in it. My feet did a stumble.

  Look where you’re going, Danny! Look ahead of you! Come on!

  I don’t like it hurrying. Meemaw knows. And I thinked I don’t know of how to change trains I don’t know what!

  But it was just get on another one. This time we sitted in a two together seat. There was a table flopped down. Squeak push it up. Bang flop down again. Squeak push it up. Bang flop down again.

  Bang! Bang!

  Enough, Danny! Just sit quietly, love. We’ll be off in a minute.

  Meemaw catched up the table. I looked out the window and a station man was there with a hat on.

  Do you remember when we came to see Mick before?

  Yes. I had CBeebies.

  What else do you remember?

  I don’t know.

  Right.

  It was already time for getting off. And new streets and houses. I saw a seagull eated some pizza on the ground.

  I knowed when it was Mick’s door. I remembered sudden the liney glass of bobbly pattern. Inside a orange curtain. A curtain in a door is wrong. The door opened and then I remembered of the smell too.