I smelled the smell of plasticky of the black sack. I like it. I do. But all the sweet bright gone.
Meemaw pulled off the top of our bin our swingy bin. She pushed the black sack down inside. It filled it up almost almost at the top and not bin day yet. She pushed the lid on again.
Meemaw picked up the tiny white message then. She stared and stared. Putted it down on the table and went sudden in the bathroom.
I went to the table and looked at it the white message. It was writing of blue pen. Blobby fat. Words loopy of mess I couldn’t read. Just one word Karen I readed. It was huge big of too much space. All the other words were squashed.
I taked the white message and looked close of my eye at the Karen. I did a spit of actual spit on and rubbed my finger round round. I did more. Then I taked the white message by the radiator and pushed it down the back. Down the back is fat grey dust and spiders. I hoped for spiders and their poo on it.
Meemaw came back.
Meemaw shall we go to the library and you can get new books of space?
Meemaw blinked one blink.
We can see Jane at the library.
I really wanted to go to the centre where the lady of round boobies was. And maybe more dinosaurs. But that was the plan of yesterday and yesterday went to very bad. Very wrong.
I thinked of it yesterday. Of the crack of the cans. I runned to Meemaw holded her legs. Meemaw blinked one more then sudden speaked.
Yes! Come on, let’s get going.
We went to do our teeth.
Because Meemaw had forgetted breakfast she maked me a folded of toast for on the way. I liked it. I thinked it was the best of a breakfast for the walking along the pavement lines. Walking along the lines and foldy over toast was good.
At the corner my toast was gone and I holded Meemaw’s hand for crossing. On the other side I singed a song.
Tale of a Tooth Tale of a Egg! Tale of a Tooth Tale of a Egg!
Meemaw was slow. She letted me sing on on in a round of spiral forever. Sometimes in my head it came the crack of cans on our cupboards. I singed louder then.
At the library Meemaw sitted down by the door.
I’m tired, Danny. You go and look at the books.
I went to the shelf of orange labels. Dinosaurs and prehistoric. All books I knowed. One was Eyewitness Guide. A tear of page 16 a bad person did. A name of Adam writed in it too.
I stroked all the teeths of the T-Rex and Jane was sudden there to surprise me.
Hi Danny! How are you today?
Hi Jane! How are you today?
Jane putted a big pile of books on one little table.
I thought of you the other day, Danny. I saw a documentary about evolution and there was a lot about fossils.
Jane was doing putting them away the books. Each here or there of the colours and numbers.
Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution was a challenge to the Christian men of his day.
It surely was!
Jane crouched on the floor by cooking. She has good eye crinkles. Very quiet I heared her smiling. Heared it in me.
Jane looked over at Meemaw. I looked too. Meemaw’s hair was very tangles of just waking up. Jane waved at Meemaw. Meemaw lifted up one hand but a not wave. A still hand.
Well, I need a coffee now. See you soon, Danny.
See you soon Jane.
Meemaw called out loud.
Come on then!
Meemaw had forgetted of being in the library. Meemaw speaked a loud voice when always we are quiet in the library. And she had not getted books. She was brown. Such brown.
I went by Meemaw because time to go already.
Outside was very windy wildness. Bothery of my hair which is gone long and in my eyes. All the sky was flat bright white. I runned tree to tree along.
Each every time I touched the tree trunk I said a swear of mind words. This was a spell I maked from the library to our flat. I maked a long line of spelled trees for me and for Meemaw to always be safe. By the traffic lights Meemaw holded out her hand.
We need to get some veg, Danny.
That meant the shop of the man.
No!
The shop of the man is not good and Meemaw knows. Not good because the man pinched me on my face and laughing. He said many of bad things. Cry baby and boys don’t cry. We don’t go. We don’t go in it now the shop of the man.
No Meemaw! Not the shop of the man!
Look, I just haven’t got the energy to get to Aldi today, Danny. He won’t hurt you. You just stand behind me.
I stopped still on the pavement. A dog was there. A dog of squashed face. Tail curled up of a piggy. I holded the pole of the piggy dog.
No!
Okay, okay! For Christ’s sake! Stay there then. But don’t move a muscle, Danny, okay? Don’t move and keep looking at me. I’ll be back in one second.
I did look at Meemaw. I looked in the shop. Meemaw was inside the big glass. Meemaw getted tomatoes and went by a man with a white hat. Meemaw paid. All the time Meemaw holded me in her eyes. I holded back. I was brave. I was alone but I was holding.
Meemaw came out and we went along.
Such was the brown and slow of her and then a big jump. Buzz buzz buzz of a talking call lighted up in her phone. Meemaw looked. Then she pressed the button and her phone went to dark.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
One day in the old flat Meemaw and me maked scones. Round crinkly cutter we pressed down and it maked shapes. I liked it the cutter and the shapes. I eated one but not cooked and Meemaw said no more.
After we eated cooked ones. Such of golden smell. A melty of butter golden too. Golden trickle with white in it. I holded Spiney and he drinked a sip of it the melty.
On these days of bad colours I think of it the scones day. We can one day have it again. I will magic it. But first a day of Karen gone. A day of Karen dead.
When we getted home from the library Meemaw putted new paper and my pens on our table.
Danny, love, I’m whacked. I need a little nap. You just do your drawing and I’ll curl up here.
Meemaw taked a bed pillow but in the chair.
Don’t go asleep, Meemaw!
Love, listen, I need just a little sleep, I…
I didn’t like it Meemaw asleep and not me. In the daytime and not me too.
Please be a kind boy.
In Meemaw’s eyes were tears for crying come but not out yet. I didn’t want it the coming out.
Okay. You can go asleep Meemaw.
I drawed a giganotosaurus spiked by spears of aliens. In real there was at no time humans and dinosaurs coexisting on the planet we call home. But aliens might have came in their crafts. Flown away before death and fossilising of their bones. Or the alien bones were maked of metal or ice to melt away. No one may know this.
All was very quiet in our flat and Meemaw still. Meemaw’s hair all on the pillow.
I drawed only the spears of the aliens. I didn’t draw of the aliens because I didn’t know of their look.
Meemaw did talking strange and sudden. I told you I told you. Very fast. Meemaw’s eyes still shut then bang! It was a words explosion of Spanish. Gobble obble nonsense words of Spanish. Faster and faster.
Then Meemaw was crying. Tears comed out of her closed eyes and Spanish words lots like talking but asleep. I looked. I standed up and looked at Meemaw my heart a hard clunk of it. A newness. Very strange asleep crying. But I was brave and kind too. I went close by her. I patted.
Meemaw Meemaw wake up!
Meemaw’s eyes popped to open. She sitted up quick looking all around.
What, Danny?
Meemaw you had a bad dream and Spanish.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Meemaw wiping her eyes. Her runny nose on the back of her hand. No tissue and that’s yucky Danny.
She pulled me on her lap.
What sorry Meemaw?
She did a hiccup noise of the crying.
Sorry…
I thinked she
was sorry of the noise maybe but no upstairs man in the daytime.
It’s okay Meemaw. You didn’t disturb me.
I didn’t disturb him. I didn’t disturb him.
Meemaw squeezy round my middle holded me. Rocked and rocked. I liked it the rock rock but Meemaw holding too tight I didn’t like. Too tight squeeze for breathing even.
Meemaw! Too tight!
Sorry.
Meemaw wiped her eyes more. Sniffed. No more of crying. Then a more gently cuddle and Meemaw humming the singy song of row your boat.
The doorbell maked us both jump in our two bodies at once. It ringed one time then two times fast and bang bang bang. Then the shouting.
Nat! Nat! Nat, baby! Nat!
Meemaw sitted very still. She was stopped on pause. No rocking no song. The bell ringed on on brrrrrrrringbrrrrrrring.
All was loud of an emergency. Karen. My heart such hard bangs it maked a cough come. Meemaw holded tighter tighter.
Then a terrible fastness of noises came tumble down. The front door opened and upstairs man shouting.
Oi! Bloody hell!
Bang! Bang! Our flat door bang of Karen. Karen. Louder of shouting than before. Close close came she the beast. Upstairs man shouted too.
Natalie! Oi, Natalie!
Meemaw standed up put me on the floor.
No Meemaw! Don’t open!
But Meemaw went. She opened our flat door a little bit. A slice of upstairs man there. His half face.
Look, can you sort this out? I’m just getting home from work, I’m not having all this!
Sorry, yes. Sorry.
Karen was behind the upstairs man pushing pushing. He turned round.
All right mate! Do you mind, eh? Eh?
He pushed Karen back. Then he went. Upstairs man went. Meemaw opened wide our door and Karen came in our flat.
I runned to under the table. I sitted in the middle of dinosaur world. The trees rock volcano all gone to floppy and no good. I putted my arms round my knees. Spiney inside and safe.
The smell of Karen so horrible strong. She speaked in slidy words of such loudness.
NatbabyNatI’msogladtoseeyou. Oh my baby!
Meemaw standed back one two steps. Karen putted out her hand wobbled one step then sitted thump on our sofa. Meemaw holded up her two hands.
Karen, you need to be quiet! Quiet, yeah? You can’t piss him off, he’s a friend of the landlord.
Karen starey staring. Then she rubbed her face one hand.
Sure sure sure sure.
Do you want a coffee?
Fuck! I didn’t come for coffee, Nat! I came to tell you how much I love you baby, how much I… I can’t lose you, don’t make me lose you, I can’t!
Keep it down, okay? Keep it down.
Karen did a burp.
You need to drink some water.
Meemaw getted a glass all filled up. She holded it out for Karen. The silver top was sloshy shlosh and Meemaw’s hand wet of it. Karen didn’t take it. It shaked and shaked in Meemaw’s hand.
Can you hear me, woman? I love you! I’m telling you I love you! Is that fucking nothing to you?
Shhh!
Meemaw sitted down next to Karen. Water shaked shaked in her two hands and splash splash on the floor.
Karen pounced the cunning predator. Pressing trying kissing of Meemaw. The glass dropped down on the floor. Meemaw was doing twisting her head. She tried getting up and Karen catched my Meemaw’s hand.
Karen! Karen, stop it!
Pulling. Hands stretched. Inside me I feeled it a stretch too. It feeled of pinch and hurting.
Waaaah!
Karen maked a Karen wail then sudden letted go. Meemaw falled onto the floor but getted up quick.
Karen! I can’t have this! You know I can’t have this. You must be able to see this isn’t okay. I can’t have this with him here!
Karen maked another wail another. She banged her fists on her head.
Three big clumps came on the ceiling from upstairs man. A shout of him.
SHUT UP!
Meemaw standed close to Karen again but hands behind for no catching me.
You have to be quiet, K. K, you have to be quiet.
Karen speaked in a hushed down voice. It was dryness and fastness.
All I’ve done is love you, can’t you see? Is there really nothing there? Don’t you understannatnatnatnat… Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
Wail again. Long wail on on. Upstairs man maked another clump.
You’ve got to go!
Meemaw shouted it loud over the wailing of Karen. Karen was quiet. Sudden all to quiet.
I heared only drippy tap. One two sniffs of Karen. Her head hanged down sniff one more. She looked up at Meemaw. She speaked very slow clear for listen to me Danny. No crying.
I’ll kill myself. If you don’t want me I’ll kill myself.
I saw Meemaw’s face the sideways of it. Her body so long. The thin of Meemaw. The bones of Meemaw there I saw. I thinked of it a new thin a new colour too. White of bright light. Silver white. I never saw it before that silver white.
Did you hear me, Nat? Do you understand what I’m saying? I’ll kill myself.
Meemaw didn’t say of any words. All quiet again.
I thinked. I thinked I didn’t know of kill myself. How can it be kill myself? Kill is the roar teeth bite or stagged or shot of a gun. Sometimes runned over or electric on the train tracks. All of the things of killed chased in my head and then I thinked of kill myself and I didn’t know.
I wanted it all to go away. All the pictures and words of it go away. I pressed my hands flat on my ears heared shh of the inside of me. But then shouting again. Karen.
I’ll do it! I’ll do it like a shot! What women have done to me, Nat… You know, you know what women have done to me! And now you. So I’ll do it! I will! Is that what you want? Is it?
Meemaw was fast hard of a train on the tracks. I never saw her be it before. Meemaw runned at Karen. Meemaw grabbed Karen’s arms did pushing pushing to the door.
Get out! Get out!
Upstairs man clump clump again.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
A whirly windmill of arms. One hitted on Meemaw she falled onto our chair her hair spreaded out. Her face gone under.
Karen was quiet talking again. On and on no spaces no turns.
I’ll fucking do it if that’s what you want I’ll fucking go now and do it. End this now fucking end it if that makes you happy. Does that make you happy?
A long time Meemaw didn’t get up. I maked a noise then. I squeaked a noise I didn’t mean to. It comed out by its own self. Karen turned round to my world the dinosaur world under the table.
I get it. I get it. You don’t want me you’ve got him you’ve got him so you don’t want me I get it.
Meemaw standed up. Meemaw pushed her hair back of her face. I saw the one red side of Meemaw’s face of the hit Karen did. I saw it the purpley of lines and all over fat red. Meemaw’s eyes bright alive. Not killed. Not dead.
Meemaw standed between Karen and me. Me under the table. She speaked calm like it’ll be all right like it’s not a disaster Danny. But she was speaking to Karen.
Let’s go out. Let’s go out for a walk, honey. Let’s just go for a walk and talk and get some alone time, eh? A proper talk, okay?
Meemaw touched Karen’s arm. All the room was smalled and far. I thinked of the arm and the hit. I slided right far back under under. The wall hard on my back.
I wanted to get Meemaw and pull her in under. I should have done that. Maked her safe if I could. Meemaw looked at me. Meemaw was a advert lady smiling. A lady of the sidebar not real.
You’ll be all right for ten minutes, Danny, won’t you? We’re just going for a walk.
Meemaw holded Karen’s arm and maked her walk. Meemaw taked the keys from the pot.
See you in a bit, Dan.
Bang of our flat door. Bang of front door. I was Danny alone.
Then I feeled it the wet on my dinosaur world.
All across dinosaur world was wet of wee. It had went on my socks all everywhere.
I closed my eyes counted but only to seventy eight because then crying had come too hard. I dropped Spiney. I grabbed him up holded him by my cheek. But Spiney was slippery of wee. Wee on my face now and very wrong.
The day was going to evening. Upstairs man’s telly said news where you are. I was under the table in dinosaur land but all of wee.
All the time it was darker I thinked of minutes. It is seconds 59 then one minute. But nothing showed me numbers like YouTube or station clocks turning over time.
I didn’t know of ten minutes gone yet. Didn’t know if Meemaw will come or Karen too or never ever Meemaw come back again. I holded round my knees and crying more quiet. It was cold. I came out.
I went to the bathroom taked off trousers pants socks throwed them in our bath. I finded my pyjamas bottoms and putted them on instead. Come on Danny it’s not a disaster. I thinked of accidents of wee Meemaw always says it.
I standed up on tippy of my toes to get the basin tap. A big heave of it and plug in. Then soap. I washed my hands and holded Spiney under too. I rubbed him too much of the soap and it wouldn’t come off. I wiped him on the towel for the best try. Not too bad.
Come on then Spiney.
It was gone to actual dark in our flat. I standed by our window watched out in the street.
In the orange light I could see. Seven cars came fast by. The Kasbah of turning meat so bright it was its red name. Inside was one man. No persons were at the bus stop. A person of a hoody came they walked past our steps. Another a lady of bright hair in a big up pile on her head. Nobody was Meemaw.
Crying had stopped in me when I was washing Spiney but back it came sudden and I couldn’t stop. I thinked be quiet Danny because of upstairs man. If he came with Meemaw not here would be so very wrong.
I wished two things. I wished Meemaw back and I wished Karen be killed. I didn’t know of kill myself but I thinked she could be dead in the real real world. Underneath a bus or lorry of heavy load on the busy road.
Then I saw. I saw them both Meemaw and Karen coming along. Holding hands they stopped by a dark car of no colour. All colour of the world was gone to strange in the night. They did kissing.
Tale of a Tooth Page 15