Tempt the Flames

by Marnee Blake

  Her uncle sat on the edge of his bed, a pistol in his hand. His elbows were propped on his knees, and the gun rested, currently pointed at the ground. Meg stopped short. “Uncle Joe?”

  He shook his head slowly, moving the gun from one hand to the other between his knees. “Meggy, you shouldn’t have come here.”

  “What is this? What’s going on?” She remained just inside the doorway, not wanting to spook him by getting any closer.

  “This isn’t how I hoped it would happen.” His voice was soft, but it rang with defeat.

  “What happened?” She lifted her hands, not wanting to appear threatening. Her uncle’s mind wasn’t a healthy space. Her gaze dropped to the pistol. “Why don’t you put the gun down? We can talk about this.”

  “I haven’t said anything for ten years. I doubt talking is going to fix it now.”

  “I don’t understand.” She needed to keep up the conversation. It was the only way she might be able to defuse this. She didn’t know much about suicide situations, so her best bet was to buy some time.

  “I thought if Lance came back, if he got another chance, it would help right the wrongs I did back then.” He exhaled, his shoulders slumping forward further. “But everything has only gotten worse. So much worse.”

  “What wrongs are you trying to right, Uncle Joe?” There was something larger here, something she didn’t understand.

  “It was my fault. Your father, Lance’s father…they’re dead because of me.”

  She shook her head. “No. The tapes…JT convinced Dad to go—”

  “Because of me.” Joe lifted his gaze, suddenly angry. He got to his feet, coming toward her, gun still in his hand. It remained pointed toward the ground, but she backed away. Joe’s state of mind was not good, and she didn’t trust him right now. He continued, his voice sharp and bitter. “I jumped first. I had an anxiety attack in the air, and steered wrong. I don’t know how it happened, now, looking back…but Lance’s dad…he saw me. It takes…I’ve heard the tapes. He was convincing my brother, your dad to come after me.” He shook his head. “If they hadn’t, I would’ve died.”

  Meg ran through what she remembered of the tape, trying to piece together what she had heard with what her uncle was telling her. “Are you saying that JT convinced my father to help you?”

  “Your father, my brother…he knew it was dangerous. JT also knew that if Jason had let me go, he would have never been able to forgive himself for letting me die. JT tried to save your father from a lifetime of regrets.”

  “They were trying to save you.” All of it made more sense knowing why they jumped. But that didn’t answer the greater question. “You told everyone that it was an accident that got you all on the wrong side. But it was your fault they were dead? There’s more to the story, isn’t there? What happened?”

  According to the files, JT and her father had continued to fight the fire even after it became clear that it was too dangerous. “You told the inspectors that Lance’s dad and mine stayed too long because they were arrogant. What are you not telling us?”

  Joe sat down and buried his face in his hands. “I panicked. I messed up, and when I was on the ground, I panicked. I ran, and my shelter was lost. Your father came after me.” He looked up at her, eyes pleading. “I took your father’s shelter. I ran away with his shelter because I had lost mine and I left your father behind.”

  She covered her mouth, unable to breathe through the pain of it. “No…Uncle Joe…”

  “I didn’t know that he was going to die, Meggy. They were more seasoned than I was. I figured they’d read it all better than I could, that they would find their way out. But they didn’t.” He swallowed a sob. “I didn’t want to die.”

  “They didn’t want to die either.”

  She should be afraid. He had a gun. Provoking someone in such distress wasn’t smart. But her anger was a fierce pit in her stomach. “That was your brother. And you were careless, and even if you didn’t mean to get him killed, he’s dead. And you’re alive. I’ve grown up without a father, and Lance grew up thinking it was his father’s fault, when he was actually a hero and trying to save you.”

  Joe lurched to his feet, his face twisted into a mask of despair. “Don’t you think I know that? I spent every day over the last ten years beating myself up about what I could have done differently. About all of the mistakes I made.” He waved the gun around in agitation.

  Meg sobered. She shouldn’t have upset him.

  “I thought if I could make it up to Lance, I could undo some of the harm I’ve done.”

  “Why don’t you put the gun down?” He was obviously in turmoil, and her fear ratcheted up. “We can talk about this more then.”

  Joe’s eyes fell on the weapon in his hand, as if only remembering he was carrying it. He swallowed, his fingers tightening around the butt of the pistol. Meg waited, not wanting to tempt fate, hoping the uncle she’d loved all these years would make the right decision.

  His arm straightened, lifting the pistol and training it on her. “No more talking. This ends tonight. I’ve kept this secret all these years. It will die with us.”

  Chapter 23

  Lance counted the seconds for the police to arrive and prayed they wouldn’t be too late. Until then, he and Dak had taken up positions outside.

  He’d seen Meg’s Pathfinder. She was inside, with Joe.

  They’d hoped they could talk to Joe, convince him that whatever plans he’d had to take his own life were unnecessary, that there were people who cared about him. They were going to appeal to his love of family, to the good he did at the air center. They’d discussed it on the drive, come up with a plan. Dak had called 911 on their way.

  Nothing had prepared them for the situation spinning out of control in front of them.

  Discovering Meg here had chilled him to the bones, made the stakes even higher.

  As they listened to Joe’s story, waiting for a moment to intervene safely, the disjointed and manic way he relayed the details sent his fear into overdrive. Joe was obviously unstable, and there was no telling what he was capable of. The horror of this situation, of what he’d said, had filled Lance with numb betrayal. Joe…he would have never expected it. But nothing—none of his shock or anger—could compare with the terrible icy panic of knowing Meg was in his crosshairs right now and having so few options to help her.

  God, please, let him not touch a hair on her precious head.

  Paralyzed, he listened as she tried to talk him down. She sounded so rational and calm. If he and Dak went in, they might spook him and give him a reason to use the gun he obviously had.

  Every second he left her in there, alone, ate at his gut in a way he couldn’t explain, was powerless against.

  “No more talking. This ends tonight, and I’ve kept this secret all these years. It will die with us.”

  No.

  Lance was up, running, before he could look at Dak. He needed to get to her, had to put himself between Meg and her uncle.

  He collided with Meg in the living room. The relief was a warm wave as he shifted her behind him in time to confront Joe as he rushed out of his bedroom.

  Joe would need to go through him if he wanted to get to her. The rightness of that filled his chest, relief singing through him.

  He lifted his hand, doing his best to conceal Meg as completely as he could behind him, protecting her. “Joe. Please listen.”

  “Get out of the way, Roberts.” Joe’s hand shook, the gun trembling precariously.

  “No. I know what happened. Dak’s outside, too. We heard everything. There’s no way to hide now. Killing Meg won’t change that.” He stepped closer, making himself a bigger target, distracting him from Meg. “You don’t want to kill her. She’s your niece, you love her.”

  “You don’t know anything.” His scream was unhinged, full of desperation and panic.<
br />
  “I do. I know how you stole your own brother’s shelter to save your life, leaving my father and Jason to their deaths. I heard it all.” It was nearly impossible to contain his anger, but he tried.

  Joe covered his eyes with his palm, the gun still in his hand. “Oh, God. That’s true. That’s exactly what I did.”

  Still holding his hand between him and Joe, with Meg behind him, Lance attempted to rein in the situation, at least until she was safe. He needed to keep him talking, distracted and off-kilter. “Joe. This isn’t what Jason would want, for you to threaten his only daughter. This isn’t what you want to do.”

  “It’s my fault, that Will was targeting you. You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell him that he had it all wrong.”

  “Will?” This couldn’t be. Will was angry, of course, but not enough to threaten him. And the parachute…Hunter…

  “After Hunter got hurt, I told him to stop, that someone was going to get killed. He wouldn’t listen to me. Nothing I said would help you. Hunter…that’s my fault. All of this is my fault.” His voice trailed off, hopeless and empty.

  “Put the gun down, Joe.” The faint sound of sirens split the air. “We’ll talk to the police and the Forest Services. We’ll talk to them, explain everything. Whatever you’re thinking doesn’t have to happen.”

  “It’s too late now.” Joe turned, and Lance caught the faint movement as he lifted the pistol to his chin.

  “No,” he shouted, lunging forward. “Joe, no!”

  Except the gun went off, and the base manager fell to the floor.

  * * * *

  Representatives from the coroner’s office came to collect the body, gathering evidence and taking statements. Meg recited the entire ordeal matter-of-factly, as if it was a movie she’d watched or an event that had happened to someone else. Lance had stood next to her, holding her hand. She allowed him to do it because she needed to touch someone right now. The coldness that had settled inside her after her experience with her uncle had shaken her, left her wondering if anything made sense anymore.

  First Will’s confession that he’d done things that put both Hunter and Lance’s lives in jeopardy. Finding Joe, hearing his story? That would have been bad enough, added cracks to her already shaken world. But to have him threaten her?

  She was equal parts broken and relieved to be alive and she didn’t know how to process that.

  It was as if her entire world had crumbled around her tonight. She had no idea how she was going to tell her mother about any of this.

  As soon as the officials finished talking with Lance, he drove her back to Bend, as if he sensed that she needed to get away from all of this. He promised to bring her back tomorrow to pick up her car. Besides, she didn’t know if she could drive right now.

  Her uncle was dead.

  Wordlessly, Lance walked her upstairs to her apartment and unlocked the door for her. She followed him inside, standing in the middle of the room, directionless.

  “Meg…” He stepped forward, taking her hand again. Like before, she let him.

  “I’m not sure I want to talk, Lance.” She had no idea what he had to say, but she’d prefer to stay here with him tracing circles into the back of her hand until the world faded away.

  “I know. But, I have to.”

  Here it came. The great Lance Roberts escape plan. She pulled her fingers from his, shifting away from him. “You don’t have to do this. I get it. I’ll even say it all for you. You don’t feel like anyone is ever going to accept you. What could have happened to me…” She waved her arm in an arch. “Proof that you shouldn’t be here. That the past is still in our present.”

  “No problem. I get it.” She swallowed. “Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it.” Sweeping away from him, she headed toward the kitchen. She needed some space.

  As she reached for a mug, determined to make tea, anything to occupy her hands, he caught her arm, stopping her. “Whoa. That’s not what I was going to say at all.” He reached forward, grasping her and pulling her closer.

  She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to see whatever she would find in his eyes. The truth was she couldn’t handle losing anyone else, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow she’d be stronger, but tonight? She would crumble into a million pieces.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Glancing up, she did her best to remain closed off. She’d never managed to do that before where Lance was concerned, though, and she didn’t now.

  He squeezed her arms. “I’m so sorry, Meg. I let you down.”

  Closing her eyes, she bit her lips hard, trying to keep from hearing or seeing anything that would weaken her further. But his voice…God, his voice. She couldn’t escape it.

  “You were right. I was running away. When I came back to Redmond, I had these grand plans to prove to everyone that they had me and my family all wrong. That my father wasn’t as they remembered, as they tried to convince me to remember. More, I wasn’t what they would have me be.” He shook his head. “It mattered so much, proving myself, that I kept secrets from you, the person I loved the most. When I realized I was falling for you, I should have told you exactly what I was doing. Hell, I should have told you right away. You deserved the truth. Except I was afraid you’d be the one to see through me. What if I wasn’t that different from my father? What if I was exactly what I always feared I was?”

  He inhaled, replenishing his breath. “And you know what? They’re right. I’m a whole lot more like my father than I ever wanted to admit. But I don’t care. My father was the sort of man who would sacrifice everything for his friends and family. That’s something I understand. I would like to think that I would be strong enough to do the same.”

  His voice broke on the end, and she couldn’t remain still. She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck. The words wouldn’t come, the words he needed to hear, because if she started talking, she’d fall apart. But she could hold him.

  He tilted his face, dropping it into the curve of her neck. The next words were whispered, but they rang with sincerity. “I love you, Meg. I’ve loved you my entire life. I don’t want to be the sort of man who doesn’t stand by the people he loves. I don’t want to be the sort of man who wouldn’t stay here, in Redmond, and fight for you. And if that makes me like my father, so be it.”

  She laughed, then, and the sound was soaked in tears. “You want to stay here? With me?”

  “I love you. Will you give me a chance?” He lowered his forehead, touching it to hers. “I promise that I’ll never let you down, not ever again.” He met her eyes, his gaze suddenly fierce. “And I swear to you, I will always do everything in my power to come home to you, if you’ll have me.”

  It was more than she’d ever hoped for.

  “Yes, just yes. I love you, too, Lance.” Because she would rather shoulder the uncertainty of loving this man than live the rest of her life without him.

  He searched her face, his eyes full of softness and humility…and love.

  Reaching up, she cupped his face in her hands. Pulling him closer, she planted her lips on his.

  He didn’t need any encouragement. Tugging her forward, he captured her mouth. She tangled her fingers into the hair at his nape and closed her eyes, allowing herself the joy of falling into him.

  She knew that all of the risks of loving him remained. He was still a firefighter and tomorrow, he could go back up in a plane and jump into the most dangerous situation in the world.

  But tonight—forever—he was hers.

  “Yes,” she said, when she finally surfaced from the drugged experience of kissing him. “Yes.”

  * * * *

  Training stopped for a week after Joe died. Investigators came in, talked to everyone, and that decade-long chapter finally came to a close.

  Meg spent the hiatus with her mother, and they quietly buried Joe ne
xt to his brother in the family plot.

  When training resumed, things were different at the air center. With Joe gone, Mitch stepped into his role as base manager until the Forest Services could finish their investigations and decide what would happen next. Many at the base hoped they’d let Mitch stay on. His days as a trainer might be over, but he was an asset and understood the workings of the place better than anyone else.

  A week after they buried Joe, with training completed, the remaining four smokejumper recruits—Lance, Dak, Sledge, and Rock—were added to the jump list. There hadn’t been any fire calls yet, but the season would begin soon enough.

  Meg wasn’t sure what her future at the air center held, but one thing was certain: as of the end of training, she wasn’t currently employed there. Therefore, there was no issue inviting the new jumpers for dinner at her mother’s place the following week. Or revealing that she and Lance were involved.

  So, when they pulled up in Sledge’s truck and her eyes found Lance, she didn’t hesitate as she swept off the porch and threw herself into his arms.

  He laughed as he caught her against him, burying his face in her neck. “Hey you.”

  “Hey yourself.”

  Behind her, someone cleared their throat. She pulled back and turned to find Rock rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll take one of those congratulatory hugs, if you’re handing them out.”

  “Fat chance, Rock,” Lance said, tucking her into his side. “She reserves those for me.”

  “Bummer. You really are a buzzkill, Roberts.”

  She laughed, stepping away and giving the other three jumpers quicker, friendly squeezes, too. “Congratulations, you guys. Come on in. I made Italian.”

  As they filed inside, Meg still couldn’t get over the changes in her mother’s house. Unlike the days after Meg’s father died, she hadn’t been the only one who’d needed the distraction of cleaning and cooking. Her mother had joined her this time. The result was a huge improvement to the state of their living arrangements.