A Hustler's Wife

by Nikki Turner

  Yarni looked in amazement at Castro, and the only thing that flashed in her head was the ten-thousand and the dining room set at La Difference she'd special ordered and the baby grand piano she'd been wanting every since she'd closed on her condo. She blurted out, "Ten G's, Shit, I'll go!" Castro was relieved when Yarni said she'd go, but at the same time he knew it wasn't right sending her. How would he explain this to Des if something was to happen? He felt guilty, but at the same time he didn't want to loose his connection with Levi. He tried to ease his guilt by telling himself that this was only tem-porarily and he'd hurry and find someone else to replace her.

  He explained to her that usually, he flew the pregnant girl out there to L.A. and she rode back either in a limo or a hearse.

  The police rarely bothered with those two automobiles.

  Yarni objected and spoke, "In this lifetime I'm not riding in any hearse until I'm dead and gone." Castro laughed until tears came to his eyes.

  "Come on, Yarni," he said.

  Yarni put her up, hand blocking Castro's words. "And don't even suggest Greyhound," said Yarni.

  "Come on, Sissy, now you know good and well I wouldn't put you on no damn Greyhound."

  "Well, big money grip," you getting the cheapest dope ever so it's nothing for you to fly me both ways," She said.

  "Keep in mind, I do have a 9 to 5. Plus, flying is more convenient and quicker, not a lot of anticipation going on. It's over and done with in a matter of hours verses a matter of days." Castro nodded, "You're right."

  Yarni added, "Even if somebody was to drop a dime on me, how much time would the police have to set up a road block.

  Not much if I flew." It was settled, Yarni flew.

  When she arrived in L.A., Levi was overjoyed to see Yarni.

  They went sightseeing all over L.A., and he took her shopping.

  He even drove her to Hollywood where they went to watch the

  "Family Feud" game show. He took her to the ghetto part of L.A.

  to a raggedy house with chipped paint. This is when she really learned the true concept of never judge a book by its cover. She was skeptical.

  She didn't want to seem nosy or make him paranoid, but she couldn't keep from asking.

  "Does someone actually live here? Why are we going here?" As she stepped onto the dry rotted step on the porch of the house, she walked as light as she could on her tip toes, afraid that the step may cave in at any time.

  "This is for your safety" Levi said to her in a casual tone and patted her on her back.

  Yarni asked herself, is he taking me here to shake me up to secure that if something goes down. I won't tell.

  Yarni and Levi entered the house. The house was a full running ghetto imitation of the CIA! They were printing social security cards, birth certificates and state issued ID's. Computers were everywhere. The documentation looked authentic. They also had the capabilities of clearing negative ratings on credit reports. Yarni looked in amazement. Damn, people are bootleg as I don't know what. Always finding a way to skin the cat.

  Levi purchased two different identities for Yarni. He paid $3,500 per identity. He explained to Yarni that they usually sell for at least $5,000 for all three pieces, but she could take the social security card and birth certificate to the local DMV and get a real photo ID. Yarni said she wasn't going to try DMV like that. She took the paperwork. He made her mail whatever ID

  she wasn't using express mail to her house in case her bags were searched. She wouldn't carry all multiple ID's on her.

  Yarni's flight left in a few hours. She was curious as to how she was going to transport the dope back. Levi took her to the mall one last time, and asked her to pick out something to go with some yellow shoes, something comfortable, nothing too flashy. She did. She picked out a cut multicolored sundress. Levi picked out a big yellow straw hat and a straw pocketbook. They returned to his house. He instructed her to change into the outfit. She did. He went into a bag and pulled out some big, bulky,

  "Spice Girls" platform bright yellow, high, heels. He told her to put them on. He informed her that the dope was concealed in the heels of the shoes. She couldn't believe the fact that she had 300 grams of uncut heroine in each of her platform shoes. It was easy as pie going back to Richmond.

  Yarni began to make this trip twice a month. She was able to furnish her house off completely. She only brought the best of everything including the baby grand piano she wanted. She never told anyone, including Des, what she was doing. She was living a double life.

  Yarni and Levi became more than just business partners, but they never had a sexual relationship. Yarni looked to Levi as a brother. Levi always made it his business to show Yarni a good time whenever she was in Cali, and whenever it was time for her to execute the plan, he made her feel safe and secure. On one occasion, Levi asked Yarni if he could give her half of her money right then and he'd wire her the rest in two days. A limited times he requested the favor. She agreed because he always sent the money as promised. One time, he didn't send the money. He cussed her out when she called to ask him very innocently about the money that he'd promised to send her two weeks ago. "Shit, I don't have no fucking money right now. Everybody fucking calling me begging for money like I am some kinda fucking bank, ATM or something... sit you act like a nigga ain't never tipped you or look out for yo ass. Shit, I'll call you later when I get yo money cause yo ass ain't no different, you just like the other motherfuckers!!"

  He slammed the phone down in her ear. At this point, it wasn't about the money. She was more so hurt that he would even take her kindness for weakness.

  Andrea had been asking Yarni for months to come to her church. Yarni really had a bad taste in her mouth about church-es every since she'd been kidnapped. God had always been a major part of Yarni's life from the time she breathed air in this world. Gloria instilled God into Yarni's life. Yarni went to her preacher when she was returned from the kidnapping. She sought out some spiritual leadership. She explained to the pastor what she'd been through and she proclaimed it was a wake up call from God. The pastor simply said, "It wasn't a wake up call from God. God would never allow you to experience any bad, if you're his child." Yarni began to cry and she described to the pastor how she had prayed while being held captive and how God answered her prayer. The pastor said, "Maybe somebody else was praying for you at the same time. God didn't even hear your prayers because you're a sinner. He doesn't acknowledge a sinner's prayers," said the minister.

  Yarni was agitated with the pastor. She thought to herself, and you're supposed to be saving souls from going to hell. She simply spoke out to him in a firm tone, "Matthew 7:1 says 'Judge not, that you be judged.'" She stormed out of the church. She stopped paying her tithes at that church. She tithed faithfully to T.V. broadcast ministries, but never stepped another foot into that church again.

  One Sunday, Yarni and Andrea had dinner. Andrea greeted Yarni with a gold gift bag. Enclosed in the gift bag was a tape

  "No More Sheets" by Juanita Bynum. Andrea and Yarni had a nice dinner. Andrea asked Yarni, "Why don't you come to church next Sunday with me? After church, we're having dinner. Don't answer now. Just don't rule it out. Promise me you will watch the tape."

  "I promise," Yarni said.

  Andrea whispered in Yarni's ear as she embraced her with a hug, "Promises aren't meant to be broken." Yarni sat on her sofa. She flipped through all the channels and nothing was on cable. She contemplated slipping on some clothes and going to the video store then she remembered the video Andrea had given her. She popped the tape into the VCR.

  She listened and watched in disbelief. She pressed stop and rewind so many times. The uncontrollable tears would not stop rolling down her face. This woman, Juanita Bynum, was so raw and to the point that, the realness of the message on the tape, just about broke Yarni down. Yarni watched the tape two times.

  She called aunt Andrea and graciously thanked her for the enlightenment and informed her that she would be visiting her church
the coming Sunday.

  The next morning Yarni pulled up in the parking lot of the church. She thought, should I leave and return in a few minutes so I won't have to deal with all the church people looking at me all crazy because they don't know me. Or should I just turn around and go home? She backed out of the parking space, and went to the stoplight. This is nothing but the devil. It must be something in that church he doesn't want me to hear. On that note, she made a U-turn. She reasoned with herself. Forget these people I am not going to think about them. I am not here for them anyway. They can look at me all they want to. I am just going to look right back at them and eat up their food and leave.

  Simple as that!

  Boy was Yarni wrong. As she exited her car, a cheerful lady, who looked like Diana Ross, walked up and hugged her. "Thank you sister for stopping by. Ooh, it's so good to be in the House of the Lord. God wants you to know that He loves and I do too," said the lady.

  As Yarni approached the church, another jolly lady gave her a hug.

  "Sister, has anybody told you they loved you today?" Yarni was stunned. She couldn't even answer. The lady continued, "I love you and God loves you too." Yarni begin to feel relaxed and at peace. She proceeded to the door and the usher greeted her with a bulletin and a hug as well.

  "It's so nice to see you, sister." She was no longer nervous about entering into the new church.

  Everybody was hugging each other as if they were on a church member recruitment commercial. Yarni felt they were sincere, that no one was pretending. They all seemed so excited and exalted to be in the house of the Lord. They all hugged her and made her feel that she wasn't a stranger at all. She spotted her aunt Andrea, and joined her. Nothing could prepare Yarni for what she was about to witness.

  Church started, and Yarni watched in disbelief. It was like these people were having a BIG party for God. She'd really partied the night before, but these folks were shouting, jumping around, dancing, (not the hoochie-coochie dances), and swinging their hands from side to side. They had the tambourines shaking and drums playing. Yarni thought she knew how to party and attended all the finest, top-notch social gatherings, but Andrea reminded her that she'd never been present at a "Holy Ghost" party.

  Yarni wanted to join in, but she couldn't, she thought. She had been out partying the night before. Was God going to approve of her? She listened to the music and observed the people. She couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her eyes. She asked God for forgiveness for all her sins. She listened attentively to every word that the minister spoke. She realized at that moment, that whatever church she went to, it would have to definitely be a teaching church. It felt as though the pastor was talking directly to her. Everything he said pertained to Yarni. When church was over, the members embraced her with hugs and love. She could feel the annoitance over her.

  Yarni attended church every Sunday. She would run into the people from her old church. They would make comments, as if her previous church was the only church in Richmond. They would make the assumption that she was off in the world, simply because they didn't see her at their church. She would make it clear, "Oh, I go to The Holy Ghost Deliverance Church,"

  "Oh, well it's O.K. to visit, but it's nothing like your home church," they would say in doubt. Why can't people be content for me that I am attending church somewhere?" One Sunday after Yarni got in from church, she received a call from Levi. Months had passed since she last spoke to him.

  He apologized and asked for forgiveness. He informed Yarni that he had her money. He was going to send it the next day. Yarni thought that was her blessing. What Yarni didn't realize is sometimes the devil can disguise things as blessings.

  Levi called everyday until Thursday, he simply said to Yarni,

  "Yarni I need you to do me that favor." Yarni thought about, how Levi had done her wrong before. She reflected on what Gloria used to say to her in reference to Yarni's girlfriends.

  "If the snake bites you one time, it's the snake's fault. But if you allow that snake to come in and bite you the second time, it's your fault!"

  She fully took Gloria's quote into consideration, but she also thought about the stuff that she had put down payments on that she needed to pay off. She ended up going anyway under the conditions of : Levi would send her the money he owed her, as well as half the money up front he was going to pay her. Levi followed instructions as she explained to him. The next day she received the money. She contemplated back and forth if she should just buck on the money he sent and not go. But, she reminded herself that her word was her bond. She'd given him her word, and she couldn't go back on it.

  Yarni took a red eye flight to L.A She usually would sleep on the flight over, this particular night, she couldn't sleep. She listened to her Sanyo CD Walkman. She listened to the newly released Mobb Deep CD, "Murda Muzik" Track number 2, and

  "The Streets Raised Me." It was one of her favorite songs on the CD. As she listened to the words of the song, Street life, why you have to raise me this way, I'm surprised we're alive today...But who am I to say...Forever you're a part of me... Street life. Tears filled her eyes. They began to roll down the side of her face. She felt doomed. She was at the point of no return. This was the first time that it had actually registered in Yarni's head how enormous the risk was she was taking. Yarni realized that she could loose everything for $10,000. Her freedom, her life, her job, everything she'd fought so hard to have and established. She knew that there was no turning back. There wasn't a way she could get out of this.

  She only called upon God. She started with the Psalm 23:4,

  "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they will comfort me." She began to pray, she promised God, "Lord, if you spare me this one time, I promise you, I will never attempt to do this again."

  Yarni made the trip back from L.A. safely. Levi pulled the same stunt. He told her he'd send her the balance of the money.

  She knew in her heart, he wouldn't until the next time he needed her. She was certain that there would be no next time for her.

  See, not only did she promise herself; she made an oath to God, and she knew the repercussions. The $5,000 that Levi owed her, she never called him to ask him about it. She counted the money as a loss.

  She knew that no matter how bad things got for her, she could never go back to trafficking drugs anywhere. Every time she reflected over the ordeal, she thanked God for keeping her in His care because had she ever gotten caught, Yarni would be under the jail. Some people would say she was lucky. But Yarni would simply say she was blessed.

  FAITHFUL MOMMY DEAREST

  Yarni continued to go to church every Sunday. She thought, "If I can give this job five days a week, the least I can do is give God one day a week. She began to look at church the same way she looked at her job. She was on time to work, so therefore, she never stepped into church a second late. When she was at work, she participated in work to the fullest. At church, she just didn't sit in her seat. She involved herself in the ministry. She also included herself in church functions. She dressed herself neatly for church as she did work.

  Yarni continued to visit Des faithfully every week. Des could see a change in Yarni. Des saw a sense of maturity within her. He wasn't into religion. He had studied different religions and didn't agree with all the facts of each religion. Whenever Yarni spoke on her religion, he listened to her attentively, simply because he was interested in anything she had to say. Yarni sent Des tapes from Sunday's services. She would also send verses and any kind of propaganda she came across.

  Yarni was very proud that Des had taken a bad situation and made the best of it. He used it as a growing experience. He read and studied everything. He taught himself different languages, took college courses, and acquired two different degrees and was pursuing his Masters, when in 1994 the governor of the state of Virginia cut out college courses in the prison systems.

  Yarni expressed to Des that the
only kind of man she knew she could be happy with, was a man of God. She came to grips that a man, who is of God, is going to live upright. He is not going to intentionally do anything to disappoint God. So, if this man of God thinks so highly of God, she knew he would treat her as she needed and longed to be treated. She then told Des that she wanted him to go to his Bible and look up Proverbs 31:10-31. She informed him of the fact that she felt she was growing into a virtuous woman. That was one of her strong qualities she brought to the table. She told him she wasn't going to settle for a man who wasn't equally yoked.

  Des thought long and hard about what Yarni said. She also told him that she wasn't going to pressure him to commit his life to God. She never did. She always spoke the word to Des and continued to give him scriptures to encourage him to want to develop a personal relationship with God. Before she knew it, Des was quoting her scriptures and speaking the word to her. He graciously thanked Yarni for introducing him to God.

  Yarni also began getting in touch with her inner spirit. She read and studied inspirational books by Iyanla Vanzant, along with other daily devotionals and prayers. She learned to meditate. She participated in yoga. She kept a gratitude journal, in which each day, she diligently wrote in it, three things that she was grateful for that day. She fasted for spiritual breakthroughs.

  Yarni and Castro grew distant because Yarni had explained to Castro that she wanted no parts of that lifestyle any more. He said he respected her wishes. Castro and Yarni spoke on occasion. He felt that Yarni didn't care about him any more.

  Yarni called Castro's cell phone one day to check on him because she hadn't heard from him, but his mother told her he was in the states. She also wanted to invite him to "church in the park" that her church was sponsoring. She wasn't going to write Castro off as a lost cause, because Andrea never gave up on her.

  As the phone rung, she got a knot in her stomach, "Hello," said a woman.

  "I must have the wrong number," Yarni said hanging up. She called right back. The woman answered again.