by Amber Lynn
“We were doing so good, and then you had to mention my mother.”
Jason hadn’t had the privilege of hearing all the nice things Marie had to say about him. Hope obviously didn’t run and tell her mother that he wanted to upgrade their relationship, but it was like her mother somehow knew. Marie had quizzed her about the shopping excursion and wanted to know every detail about what the two of them did together.
Hope was evasive, something she would’ve been no matter what happened in her personal life. Marie reminded her at least twenty times that she was a good girl who didn’t need a bad boy to corrupt her. Jason hadn’t shown up with a motorcycle, tattoos or tons of body piercings, but evidently he gave off a certain vibe.
“Sorry about that. I take it she was a bundle of joy today.”
Hope nodded and leaned up against the counter. If Jason thought she looked like she wanted to kill Jenny, he should’ve seen her at the bakery. Marie stayed in back most of the day, but every time Hope had to go back and grab something she either got an earful or had to deal with glares trying to poke holes in her.
“She really doesn’t like you. I don’t know what exactly changed in the middle of our conversation the other day, but she’s convinced you have nefarious intentions when it comes to me.”
The grin that filled Jason’s face wasn’t much of a reassurance against the claim. Neither was the way his tongue darted out to lick his lips.
Remembering how that tongue felt in Hope’s mouth wasn’t something approved for work, so she did her best to not notice. Just seeing it had done enough to elevate her temperature, and after the reminder that illness was frowned upon at work, Hope needed to cool down her skin a little so it didn’t look like she was running a fever.
She made up a glass of ice and filled it with a little seltzer water before taking a quick drink. Sticking her head in a bowl of ice would’ve been more helpful, but it took a little of the edge off.
“After our last discussion, I’d say she’s good at reading a person. I’m guessing that means I should probably only drop in on you at work here for a little while.”
Jason wasn’t helping the cooling down process. Hope knew the basics of what would happen if they ever went to bed together, but she never had to deal with the foreplay she felt was going on between them. She didn’t even know if that was the right word for what she was feeling.
“I don’t understand her problem. Grace is married, and Mom never tried to warn her about Travis’ intentions.”
Travis happened to be a school teacher, who had an affinity for sweater vests. There were obvious physical characteristics that were different between him and Jason, but a teacher had the same chances of being a perverted heartbreaker as the next person.
“I guess I’m just not the kind of guy you take home to meet your mother.” Jason shrugged and decided to move the conversation away from her unwelcoming mother. “Back to the question about whether you’re going to be up for talking tonight.”
There was a slight emphasis on the word talking. Hope had a couple hours break before spending another six or seven hours on her feet. She had no plans of doing anything other than sitting on her new comfortable couch and putting her feet up for a little bit.
“If you throw in a foot massage, I’m up for just about anything.”
“Your place or mine?”
Before she could answer, Jenny came back with a tray. “I need two bartender’s choice pale ales and three shots of tequila.”
At least the woman’s blue eyes were focused on Hope instead of Jason. It wasn’t like Jenny hadn’t seen Jason before, so the staring earlier had been a little weird. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually talking instead of just grunting like he usually did that had caught her eye.
Jason did have a deep voice that wasn’t highlighted when he acted like a caveman. It was silky, and after hearing full conversations, Hope was ready to classify it as a panty dropper. She laughed at her own joke as she got the drinks ready.
She hated the fact that she kept one eye on Jason while she worked. He was a big boy who could make his own decisions, but Hope wanted to prove to him that not all women were like his ex-wife. The crowd in the bar really didn’t help that goal.
Hope got the drinks made and took care of the glasses Jenny had left behind. It took her a couple minutes with other customers before she could work her way back to Jason.
“We seem to be alternating, so how about yours.”
Looking down at his glass, progress still seemed slow on finishing up. The single sip Hope had witnessed appeared to be the only thing missing from the glass.
“Works for me. You going to be hungry? I have absolutely nothing in my cupboards, but I can order something so it’s their around three.”
“Food and a foot massage? You’re flirting with disaster with all that sweet talking.”
“We can’t have your mom being wrong about me, can we?”
Hope couldn’t respond immediately because of one of the more vocal customers at the other end of the bar. She’d thought with Jason sitting a little more centralized that it would be easier to work and talk, but it seemed people were more demanding when her attention was occupied.
By the time she could work her way back to Jason, he had his glass pushed out in front of him and was standing. The glass was still full, which had Hope worried about him. He’d told her before that beer didn’t give him much of a buzz, but he still seemed to enjoy drinking it. Leaving a full glass made the knots in her stomach do a little dance.
“You know how much I hate not being the center of your universe, so I’m going to head home and start looking through menus.”
Hope held up a finger to try to put some brakes on his exit. He’d already thrown some money on the bar to cover the drink and her tip.
“Carl, I’m taking five minutes,” she yelled at her backup. Technically, she was his backup, since he had seniority, but they covered for each other when they took breaks.
She pointed to the end of the bar that was towards the door to let Jason know where to meet her. Pocketing the money so no one else would take it, she hurried to get out from behind the bar. Jason stood at the corner of the bar waiting for her.
“Let’s get some fresh air,” Hope suggested.
It would’ve been nice if it was cold out, but low fifties was about all Mother Nature could muster. There was a rumor a decent chance for some snow was coming their way, but Hope didn’t exactly trust the weather forecast.
When they were outside and away from the door, Jason unexpectedly grabbed Hope’s hand and spun her so her back was against the brick of the building. She didn’t have a chance to process the move before his lips descended on hers and the taste of mint filled her mouth.
The kiss was short, but it left Hope in just as much of a puddle as their first one. There was no question whether there was a spark when their lips touched.
“You should’ve stayed inside, where it’s safe.”
The warning would’ve come better before the mild assault, but Hope wasn’t complaining. She liked the taste of Jason on her lips.
“I was worried something was wrong.”
“Why? Because I came to see you and didn’t down my beer?”
Hope nodded. “Obviously I don’t have a problem with you not drinking, it just felt like you could’ve texted to ask me to meet you at your place.”
“I could’ve done that, but I didn’t want to wait to see you.”
Pointing out that what he’d said could’ve been seen as romantic didn’t seem like something that would work in her favor, so Hope tried to think of something else to say. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it when nothing came to her.
“You don’t have to say it. I know what I just said and how you probably took it. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Jason didn’t say anything else. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared into the night. Hope had never really had the desire to pretend to be sick, but
the thought did cross her mind. At the same time, she wasn’t really sure what was going through Jason’s head, and she was a little afraid to find out.
Chapter Nine
Jason had three pizzas ordered, all half and half because he wasn’t sure what Hope would be in the mood for. He thought about going crazy and ordering a wider variety of food, but decided pizza was a little more neutral than some of the other options that crossed his mind.
Since Jason hadn’t been smart enough to pick up a coffee table when Hope had, he set the pizzas up on the breakfast bar and grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge. He was in the process of taking a sip from one when there was a knock on the door.
He took a deep breath and put the bottle down. The breath only filled his lungs with the Italian spices on the pizzas. It did absolutely nothing to ease the nerves he’d let run amok.
He already knew he was in trouble when he couldn’t stop thinking about Hope for even a second since their talk. Practice and trying to play were tasks he’d failed at in a major way. It was clear Hope hadn’t seen the game when she didn’t ask about the fact he only had five minutes of ice time.
Everyone noticed, and most of his teammates enjoyed sharing their ideas of what was going on. There were a few who thought maybe he was sick, but the majority of the comments were trying to guess the color of hair the woman messing with his mind had.
Jason made it across the room and opened the door to see the brunette filling his head. She wore the same blue and purple plaid flannel shirt and tight blue jeans that she’d been wearing at work. The outfit was just as sexy as the sundress she’d worn the other time she’d come to his apartment.
“I’m in trouble,” Jason muttered under his breath.
Apparently it wasn’t quiet enough. Hope nodded and waited for him to invite her in. There wasn’t a question of whether he would, but there was a part of him that didn’t think it was the best idea.
“If it helps, you can just tell me here.”
It was a weird thing to say, and Jason couldn’t decipher what she meant. So instead of immediately trying to figure it out, he moved out of the way and let her come in. He thought it was a little rude not to give her a kiss, but they were already starting out weird.
She seemed reluctant to come in, but she did. He closed the door behind her and led her over to the couch.
“I hope you really like pizza, because I basically got six kinds and it will take me a while to eat them if you don’t help me out.”
Hope sat down on the couch and waited for him to say more. She looked scared about something, but it wasn’t the same kind of fear he’d seen before. Instead of desire mixed in with it, there was sadness.
“What exactly do you think I’m going to tell you?”
Looping back to her only comment seemed like a good place to start. Jason didn’t have a clue what he was going to say about what he really wanted to talk about. He’d been an ass about things and he needed to figure out how to dig himself out of the hole he’d made for himself.
“I ended up checking on your stats from the game,” Hope said as she looked down at the couch.
Jason hadn’t taken a seat yet. He felt the need to pace around, but he hadn’t left the edge of the couch.
“And?” Jason asked when she didn’t seem to want to finish her thought.
“And I understand that us hanging out together is hurting your game, so you need some space. I thought at first that maybe it was just a fluke, but I looked back at the last few games compared to earlier games this season, and there’s definitely been a change.”
She must have had some downtime to go digging into stats. It was a little unsettling that she’d already shown more interest in his hockey career than his ex-wife, who had never once commented on his off days on the ice. Kate hadn’t even noticed when he had an off day.
“You think I want to stop seeing you.” The idea was hard to wrap his head around, and he found himself scrunching his face up as he tried to make sense of it. “I told you when you walked me outside earlier that I came looking for you tonight because I missed seeing you.”
She’d read the situation wrong, but that was his fault. Communication had never been his strong suit. It seemed even when he tried to communicate, things didn’t work out as well as they did in his head.
“I figured you just said that because you decided not to tell me at work. I’m glad that you didn’t. I mean, I know our conversation there seemed to be going pretty good, but I knew there was a reason you didn’t drink your beer. After our last talk, I’m sure you’ve been trying to come up with a way to get out of things, and I’m really sorry if that has anything to do with the game tonight.”
Hope was rambling on, and if he let her, Jason was sure she could go on for a while. He was worried that she didn’t seem to be breathing, so he sat down and took her hand into his. The cigarette smell embedded in her molecules was trying to do battle with the pizza. At that moment, neither was winning.
“Don’t worry about the game. Everyone has off nights and I’ve been due.” Jason raised their joined hands up to his face so he could touch his lips to her hand. “I meant what I said Hope. I missed you. I asked you not to contact me for a day to see how bad it would get. As you already pointed out, I’m screwed.”
“What does that mean?”
Since Jason was confused about it, it didn’t come as a surprise that Hope was. It’d be really nice if she could read his mind. Of course that would be a terrifying thing for both of them.
“I don’t know. I know I’m an idiot for all that friends with benefits stuff. I was only thinking about myself and my needs.”
“I said I was okay with it.”
Hope was trying not to reveal emotions in her words, but Jason could hear resolve.
“I know. I remember our little dance very vividly. I’ve even dreamed of a few different outcomes.”
It’d only been two days and Jason was dreaming about how things could be between them while he was awake and sleeping. What he saw wasn’t the love them and leave them kind of sex he thought he wanted.
“I don’t want you to be okay with it,” Jason said picking up on his train of thought. “I want you to want something more. You deserve more than some doofus coming into your life and asking to be your friend and then a few days later asking for more without any kind of commitment behind it. I fooled myself into thinking that we could leave it at that.”
There was a tug as Hope tried to take her hand back, but Jason didn’t let go. There wasn’t a lot of heart behind her action, but he felt the attempt to take her touch away.
“Like I said, you could’ve told me that at the door.”
“You still think I’m trying to tell you I don’t want you in my life, don’t you? I’m messing this all up, yet again.”
Hope hadn’t met his eyes since he greeted her at the door. He kept staring at her, hoping she’d look up and maybe be able to read what he was thinking so he didn’t have to spell everything out. She didn’t look up and she didn’t say anything.
“I want to know if you’d be interested in going out with me. You know, like boyfriend and girlfriend type stuff.”
That got Hope’s attention. Her eyes were red, a clear indication she’d been trying hard not to cry. Her idea of telling her at the door would’ve been smart. Jason hadn’t wanted her to be stuck standing out there while he explained himself, though.
“What did you say?”
Jason leaned forward and kissed her cheeks before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his body. He’d wanted to see her face, but it hurt to see how much he’d upset her.
“I’m not making any promises, but if we’re going to continue down the road we’re going, we’re going to have to start dating.”
It’d been a long time since Jason had gone on an official date. He was pretty sure he hadn’t forgotten how it worked, but dating had never been his forte.
“But your divorce.”
“I signed all the papers, so that should be taken care of.”
“That’s not what I mean. You hate women.”
Hope stiffened in his arms after she said the words. It was a funny way of putting things, but Jason understood what she was trying to say.
“And yet I can’t get the woman in my arms off my mind. I know there are all sorts of issues we need to figure out. My damage, our crazy work shifts, your mother’s hatred towards me.”
Jason could’ve kept listing things for at least twenty minutes, but Hope did have to get to work. Her being late wouldn’t help Jason score any points with Mrs. Nacin.
“I don’t understand.”
“Hmm,” Jason said as he put a finger under Hope’s chin so he could tilt her head up and look at her. “What don’t you understand.”
“How this is possible? I like you. I can admit that.”
It wasn’t said with as much conviction as Jason would’ve hoped, but it was a start. Like wasn’t exactly the word he was going for. She probably liked the flannel she was wearing and Jason hoped he had elevated a little higher than a shirt.
“I guess that’s a good first step.”
“But there’s no reason for you to like me. I mean, finding some plain Jane to make friends with was a little odd for someone like you, but actually dating someone like me seems like a step in the wrong direction.”
She tried to look away as she spoke, but Jason hadn’t moved his hand off of her chin. He wanted to know if she believed the things she was saying. It was hard to tell, but he didn’t get the sense she was just saying things to try to scare him off.
“Who exactly do you think I belong with, Hope? One of the women from the bar that you’ve already claimed is going to be the next Mrs. Miller?”
Hope shook her head. “No. Some wannabes aren’t good enough for you. You need to find someone who is someone. An actress, a singer, maybe a high-powered attorney or something.”