Royal Rebel

by Jenny Frame

  Bea could see why George brought it up, but she didn’t want to even consider it. “Okay, I understand. Now it’s been said, don’t ever say it again.”

  George nodded and kissed her tenderly. “I love you.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Roza sat on the end of the bed and stared at the TV news. Every ten minutes they would repeat the shooting of her father and her brother. She couldn’t tear herself away from it. She was scared and not because of everything that was happening, but that she felt numb inside, since waking up. She hoped that if she kept watching, she would feel something, anything.

  When Roza woke she was surprised to find herself alone. She thought Lex would be at her side, and so she sent for her straight away.

  There was a knock at the door and one of the new security agents opened the door slightly. “Your Majesty, Lennox King is here to see you.”

  “Why are you announcing her? Just let her in. She’s my girlfriend.”

  Lex pushed past him and shut the door. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Lund wouldn’t let me see you unless you called for me.” Lex pulled her into her arms, and squeezed her tightly.

  For the first time since this happened, Roza felt some sort of safety and protection. “Don’t leave me. I need you.”

  Roza felt Lex kiss her head and whisper, “I won’t leave your side while you’re here. But what are you watching that for? Computer, switch off TV.”

  Roza pushed Lex away in anger. “No, I want it on.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to feel something and I can’t. I’m watching my father and brother shot, and I feel numb.” Roza banged her fist against her chest. “Why can’t I feel anything? Am I bad? Am I evil?”

  Lex approached her slowly. “Of course you aren’t. It’s just part of your grieving process. It won’t last forever.”

  “Everything’s in chaos, my world’s turned upside down. I’ve got strangers around me, protecting me, telling me what to do.”

  “I know, but you can take some of that control back. I was speaking to Ravn and you can have her team in command. You just need to take control and use your new authority.”

  “I can’t do it alone. Will you help me?”

  “Of course. I’ll support you in whatever you want to do.”

  Roza rested her head on Lex’s chest. At least in the midst of all the chaos, she had Lex, her anchor.

  “Let’s get you some sleep.”

  *

  The next morning, when Roza’s new orders were issued, there were more than a few disgruntled faces among the assembled group. Lex felt the accusatory stares as she stood by Roza’s side holding her hand.

  Apart from that brief meeting, Lex couldn’t get Roza to leave the bedroom. Lex came downstairs to get some food for Roza, and found her mum and dad in the kitchen eating lunch.

  When Faith saw her she immediately got up and hugged Lex. “How is she, sweetheart?”

  “Not good, I don’t think. She’s lying on the bed holding a picture of her mother, staring at the news. She won’t put it off, and won’t cry or show any kind of emotion.”

  “Why don’t I take her some soup and have a chat with her. She opened up to me before.”

  “Thanks, Mum. That might just work. She really misses a maternal figure in her life.”

  Faith kissed her on the cheek and said, “Leave it to me.”

  “Johann is on the door. He’ll let you in.”

  Her mum got some soup and bread and went upstairs to see Roza. Jason told Lex to sit and got her some food too.

  “How are you holding up, Lex?” Jason asked.

  Lex lifted her spoon and stirred through her soup, not feeling hungry for food in the slightest. “I don’t matter, Dad. It’s Roza that matters.”

  “Lex, you have to take care of yourself too, or you’ll be no use to anyone. You know what stress does to you.”

  She knew exactly what he meant. As she lay holding Roza last night, she could feel the cravings build in her stomach. One drink or hit would take the horrible feeling away. The feeling like she wasn’t good enough. The pain of knowing she was going to lose the love of her life.

  “I know, Dad, but I need to focus on Roza just now. I need to get her through these few days, and protect her from those Denbourg officials who want to treat her like their possession.”

  Major Ravn knocked on the kitchen door. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

  “Of course not, Major,” Jason said. “Come in and I’ll get you something to eat. Faith made a huge pot of soup for everyone.”

  “That’s very kind, sir.” Ravn sat beside Lex and asked, “How is she?”

  “In shock, I think. My mum’s gone to spend some time with her and try to get her to open up.”

  “That’s a good idea. I’m glad she has your family.”

  They were interrupted by Colonel Voltz. “Ravn, the MI6 agents have arrived to help protect the Queen. I want you to give them a briefing on the security situation.”

  “As you wish, sir.”

  The colonel looked at Ravn with disdain and said, “I don’t know what kind of advantageous game you’ve got going on here, Ravn, but once we get back to Denbourg and the Queen is free from certain influences”—Voltz looked at Lex when he said that—“the chain of command will be returned to what it was.”

  Lex jumped up angrily, and was about to tell Voltz exactly what she thought of him, when Ravn stood and said, “It’s all right, Lex. I am Her Majesty’s servant and I will serve wherever she sees fit.”

  Colonel Voltz stared her out for a few minutes and left the room.

  *

  That night Lex held Roza in her arms, stroking her body, head, and neck until she fell asleep. The talk with her mum had drained Roza until she was exhausted, and now she held on to Lex like she was her only anchor in a storm.

  Lex eventually fell asleep herself, but when she stirred later that night, she found her arms empty. Roza was gone. She was fully awake in seconds, and pulled on some jeans before going to the door.

  “Major, is Roza downstairs?”

  Ravn looked surprised at the question. “No, I thought she was in bed—she never passed me.”

  “Fuck. She’s done a disappearing act.” Lex smacked her palm against her forehead.

  “Christ. I’ll need to raise the alarm,” Ravn said.

  Ravn was about to speak into her radio when Lex had a thought. “Could you give me half an hour before you raise the alarm? I think I might know where she went.”

  “No,” Ravn said. “If I lose her again, I could be disciplined.”

  “Give me a chance, please?” Lex begged.

  Ravn sighed. “Thirty minutes and that’s it.”

  “Forty just to be comfortable,” Lex said as she gathered Roza’s sovereign ring from the pillow.

  She went out onto the bedroom balcony and shimmied down the drainpipe as Roza had done, and as she had done many times in her youth.

  All had been quiet inside the house but outside it was still a hive of activity as agents protected the house and gardens from intruders, but they hadn’t anticipated that their Queen would want to escape.

  Lex clambered over the garden wall and hurried down the road as she heard the guard dogs start to bark, noticing someone’s scent. She jogged down the road and walked down the little worn path to the wishing well and magic tree. Lex pushed her way through the branches and foliage until she saw Roza staring into the wishing well.

  “Roza? It’s me.” She announced herself so as not to give her a fright. But Roza never jumped in fright or jumped an inch, so she walked forward and wrapped her arms around her from behind. “Why did you run, darling? I was so worried when I woke up.”

  Roza leaned her head back against her. “I was going to run and keep running, but then I realized wherever I go they’ll find me, and lock me in my cage again.”

  “You forgot this.” Lex held up the state ring.

  Roza turned around and said to her despera
tely, “I won’t come back. I can’t do this, Lex. I’m a spoilt party girl. I’m the last person who should ever be Queen, lead the nation. My father—”

  “Your father was wrong. He never took the time to get to know the girl I know. You can do it. I know you can. You care about people and you’re the most loving person I have ever met. You will make a fantastic Queen.”

  Roza wiped away tears, and said, “I don’t feel like a Queen.”

  “Remember what I told you yesterday. You are the royal authority now. It has passed from your father and the generations before him to you, symbolized by this ring. You are Queen Rozala and you can do anything you want to do.”

  Roza gazed at the ring in Lex’s hand. “Except run away. This is it, Lex. The rest of my life isn’t my own. I’ll be trapped in this cage forever. I’ll be ferried from one place to another like a precious ornament, with people expecting someone like my mother or my father.”

  Lex took out her phone and showed her the live video from Denbourg. The crowds were gathered in the thousands outside the palace. “Look, Roza, your people are desperately looking for a figurehead to lead them in their grief. Their democratic constitution has been attacked and they are frightened.”

  Roza pushed away from her. “I can’t help them. I’m just a girl with no talents, and no good sense.”

  “Stop trying to live up to your father’s expectation. Think of Summer and her friends. Think of the responsibility you took organizing everything for Dreams and Wishes, making connections, playing with the children, and listening to their parents’ concerns. That is a Queen, not a party girl. Step out from King Christian’s shadow. It’s now the reign of Queen Rozala. What happened in the past doesn’t matter any more.”

  Lex watched Roza physically pull herself together, and stand taller. Her words had obviously gotten through.

  “You’re right,” Roza said. “For once in my life I can do something right, something my mother and brother might have been proud of.”

  “That’s my princess.” Lex stopped herself. “Excuse me, that’s my Queen.” Lex dropped to her knees and slipped the ring onto her finger and kissed it. “I love you and pledge myself to your service, Your Majesty.”

  “Don’t call me Your Majesty.” Roza smiled shyly.

  Lex stood. “That’s who you are now.”

  Roza leaned her head on her chest. “I love you, Lex. You and your family made me become a better person. I am a better person with you. Will you come with me? Will you come to be with me and become my Consort?”

  This was the moment Lex had been dreading. “No, I can’t. Not now. I’m not the right one for you. I’m an ex drug and alcohol addict. I can’t be the person you need.”

  Roza gasped. “Now? So before, if all of this hadn’t have happened, you would have been with me?”

  “I don’t know if your family would have allowed it, but I would have tried to be the person you needed with everything I had.”

  “I’ll give it up, renounce the throne. I just want to be with you, Lex.”

  “You can’t do that. Your country needs you. There would be a constitutional crisis if you didn’t take the throne, and at a time like this that’s the last thing your country needs. I love you so much, Roza—that’s why I’m letting you go.”

  “Please, don’t give up on us, baby,” Roza begged. “Look at Bea, she and George bridged the gap.”

  “The Queen Consort was not a cocaine addict.”

  “You are not a cocaine addict any more. It’s all behind you.”

  “I will always be an addict, Roza. There’s always a chance I’ll fail,” she said angrily. Over the last few days, with all the emotional turmoil, her cravings had been creeping up on her.

  Roza’s face went stony. “If you loved me enough to be with me as a princess but not now I am Queen, you obviously didn’t truly love me, and carving my name on that tree meant nothing to you.”

  She set off walking at a fast pace, leaving Lex to try and catch up. Roza looked furious and hurt, and Lex knew letting her go was going to kill her.

  As they approached the gates to the Kings’ home, Roza said coldly, “I’ll sleep in my own room tonight, and I’ll be leaving first thing.”

  Lex stood still as Roza walked up to the surprised guards at the gate. As they escorted her back to the house, Lex could barely contain her emotions. The love of her life was walking away, and she wasn’t brave enough to follow her.

  *

  The next morning Roza was up and dressed by six o’clock, not that she had slept at all. To say her heart was broken was an understatement, but as she’d stared at the ceiling in the small hours of the morning, she realized the only way she was going to cope with losing Lex, and the enormity of her new life, was to shut down her emotions or she would drown in them.

  By the morning her deep-seated numbness had returned, and with it an acceptance of what her life was to become. She had a duty to her ancestors and her people to do the best job she could do. Roza dressed in the soberest outfit she had brought with her, a grey skirt with matching jacket, and cream blouse. Until she got back to St James’s Palace it would have to do.

  There was a knock at the door, and Major Ravn said, “The car is waiting for you, Your Majesty.”

  “I’m ready.”

  Roza couldn’t wait to get out of here and as far away from Lex and the warmth of her family as quickly as she could, before that warmth could seep back into her heart. She walked downstairs and found Faith, Jason, Poppy, and Noodles waiting to say goodbye next to her car. They were unsure of how to react to her now, going by how nervous they looked.

  Jason bowed and held out his hand to shake hers, but she wrapped her arms around his reassuring broad shoulders, so much like Lex’s.

  “Thank you for a wonderful few days, Jason. I’ll always remember them.”

  “You’re welcome, Your Majesty. I know you have a lot of difficult times ahead. We’ll be thinking of you.”

  Roza let him go and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  Next, Poppy gave her a grand curtsy. “I’ve been practising. Is that okay?”

  “Perfect.” Roza hugged her tightly. “I’ll call you—email me your designs, and look after Noodles, okay?”

  “Yes, that would be amazing. You’re going to need lots of fashion advice with all the Queen stuff you’re going to be doing.”

  “I will.” Roza smiled.

  Faith curtsied and opened her arms without hesitation. “If you need to talk, or just a friendly ear to listen, I’m always here.”

  Roza drank in every last drop of maternal warmth from Faith, and knew she was going to never have this type of connection again. “Thank you. You’ve all been so kind.”

  Faith released her and said in a low voice, “Lex loves you, she’s just scared. Don’t give up on her.”

  Roza felt the urge to look up to Lex’s bedroom window, and there she was, staring back at her. Without taking her eyes from Lex’s she replied to Faith, “I’m scared too but I’m facing it, Lex isn’t. Goodbye.”

  She got into her state car, and when the door slammed shut, the last bit of hope that Lex might come to her died.

  *

  Lex stuffed all of her belongings in her bags as quickly as she could. All she could think about was getting back to London, back to her structured, controlled life. Only in the safety of her controlled life could she try and survive this pain in her heart.

  She had just finished packing her last bag when her mother walked in, and she didn’t look happy.

  “Lex, why are you doing this to yourself? You just watched Roza walk out of your life without a fight.”

  Lex piled her bags on the floor. “I’m protecting her, from me. Now she can go back to Denbourg, find a nice woman with no problems to be her Consort, and the Denbourg court doesn’t have to worry about whether the coke-head is going to embarrass the monarchy.”

  “I saw the way you were together. This was real—it was something special you had
together.”

  “I don’t deserve her, okay?” Lex nearly shouted at her mum and instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry, Mum. I’m sorry.” Faith tried to hug her, but Lex shrugged out of it. “Don’t comfort me, Mum. I don’t deserve it.”

  “Lex, you’re scaring me. Don’t go back to London like this. You’re not coping well,” Faith said in a worried tone.

  Lex forced a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, Mum. I just need some time to myself. Once I get myself back into work and my daily routine, I’ll feel better.”

  “But the woman you love won’t be by your side. You need love, Lex,” Faith said.

  “I can’t have love.”

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Ever reliable, Perri had a black dress, hat, and jacket ready for Roza when she returned to London. As soon as she was changed into her new uniform, she was driven over to the Denbourg embassy. She sat in the back of the state car with Perri and Lund, who was filling the role of private secretary until Roza could appoint one permanently.

  Lund handed her a computer pad and said, “We will enter the ambassador’s office where you will have a few minutes to greet Queen Georgina and the Queen Consort in private, before you will be taken to the meeting room. You will be met by the Denbourg prime minister and various Denbourg courtiers and officials. They will be your witnesses as you make your royal pledge of service, and then we will escort you to the embassy entrance hall where you will give a speech live to the world’s media and the people of Denbourg. This is your speech.”

  Roza’s heart thudded as she read over the first few paragraphs, and she remembered the last time she gave a speech. Lex had been the tower of strength behind her to get her through. Now she would be on her own. She quickly shut those thoughts out of her brain, and looked up to Perri who gave her a smile of support, but it wasn’t the same.

  They drove past the front of the embassy and she was touched to see people had laid hundreds of bouquets of flowers at the front entrance, and a long line of people stood in a line that stretched out of sight down the road.