The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone

by D H Sidebottom

  Sam held out his hand to me and I stared at it, took a deep breath and placed my hand in his. His fingers curled around mine immediately and strongly as if he knew I needed his strength and reassurance. He nodded once and then we walked over to another door. He looked at me as he opened the door and then led me through.

  The room was dark apart from a small bulb that dimly lit the middle of the room, right above a chair in which Lee was secured with some rope. He was bloody and already half dead. His head hung low and his breathing laboured.

  My stomach lurched at the sight of him, the memories surfacing of the way he had held the pillow over my face as he brutally raped me night after night, the feeling of his tongue in my mouth, the way he had clawed and pawed at my body and the recollection of the time he had held his fingers round my throat, squeezing the life of me but I still wasn’t sure it was enough to help me do this.

  I realised why I hadn’t fully recognised him in the NSC car park and the pub; he had been built heavily when we were in care. He was now a lot thinner, he had worn glasses as a teenager and he had now dyed his hair.

  When I took a step closer to him, he lifted his head at the sound of my heels on the hard concrete floor.

  His eyes were bruised and half closed, his nose was already broken and his mouth looked like it was missing a few teeth behind his split lip. His T-shirt was ripped revealing numerous bruises, cuts and what looked like slash marks. His hair was mangy and stuck out in clumps, knotted together in the dried clusters of blood.

  Somebody had really worked him over, trying to tear him apart whilst still keeping him alive for my benefit.

  He strived to open his eyes as I took a step closer. They widened a little when he saw me. His lip curled and he winced at the pain in the simple action.

  His head tipped to the side as he gazed at me with hatred and repulsion. My face was completely impassive, not showing one ounce of emotion or feeling towards him. I knew for some reason he would love to stir a reaction out of me and watch me crumble under his abhorrence for me.

  “Well, well, well, if it ‘aint the whore.” He sniggered and then winced at the pain of talking. I noticed he was struggling to pronounce some words now that he was missing a few teeth, his mouth and jaw swollen.

  I remained silent with a vacant expression. “You miss me, Ava?” He laughed bitterly then cringed again. “I must say, I miss fucking your lovely cunt,” he sneered and I took another step towards him.

  Keep going Lee!

  “You were always good for a fuck, even with a pillow over your face,” he scoffed. He closed his eyes for a moment as though it was painful to keep them open for too long.

  Sam’s hand was still gripped tightly in mine and I felt him squeeze it reassuringly as I took another step towards Lee. I was now stood directly in front of him. “Although I do regret never screwing your arse. I would love to rip your arse to fucking shreds and hear you scream whilst I do it.”

  A small snarl at the back of the room snapped my head round towards it. My heart lurched, my blood rushed through my veins as I made out Mason’s silhouette in the darkness, leaning against the wall.

  My breathing steadied and my courage surged, my inner self was cheering at his presence and I knew there and then he was here for me, to help me through what had to be done.

  “I loved watching your bastard of a boyfriend screw you roughly. You deserve to be fucked savagely like an animal,” Lee continued.

  I dropped Sam’s hand and grasped the material of my skirt at my thighs and hitched my skirt up fractionally but slowly.

  “Oh and let’s not forget your other lover. You really are the ultimate whore, Ava,” Lee sneered. I noticed Sam glance at me with confusion etched on his face.

  I was so pleased I was wearing my 4 inch spiked heeled boots when I smashed my foot into his face. His cheek bone exploded under the collision and he let out a high pitched squeal. I stood looking at him, still expressionless before I shattered his face with my fist.

  He was hanging limply now, not able to talk anymore and I tipped my head at him. Sam reached out to me, a gun in his hand and I glanced up at him. He nodded encouragingly and I took it from him, gripping it tightly in my fingers. I swallowed harshly, my dry throat scratching at the effort. My palms were sweating and I kept licking my dry cracked lips.

  I placed the muzzle against his forehead and he whimpered but he didn’t move.

  I’ll admit I was struggling. Fighting with my inner self to do this, to do what was needed and expected of me. My breathing was heavy and laboured, I was striving to support my legs, my nerves making them tremble violently. I wasn’t sure I could do it and I remained still and quiet for a couple of minutes, panting and sweating heavily.

  A movement in the corner of my eye ordered my attention. Mason came into view. He stood beside me, his eyes were soft but his face was hard and unreadable. He took my hand, grasped it firmly and the feel of it, securely held in mine damn near broke my heart.

  My body came alive with the feel of him, my senses were now on high alert and the hairs on my body stood, as though reaching out to him; my soul mate was close and my body reacted instinctively to him.

  I knew I had to do this for Mason, for the pain and devastation Lee had drilled through Mason when he sent him the photos, when he broke both our hearts.

  He nodded once and I closed my eyes, took a deep steadying breath and pulled the trigger.

  My stomach heaved as I felt his blood splatter my face. I turned quickly and vomited on the cold concrete. Hands came around my hair, pulling it back from my face as a hand settled on my back. I retched again and again until I had nothing left to give.

  I refused to look at Lee; I didn’t need that image in my head so I turned towards the door and stood.

  My heart ached when I realised it was Sam who held my hair; Mason was nowhere to be seen. He had helped me through what was needed and then left. His obvious repulsion and loathing of me ripped me open.

  I had lost the man that had given me his love so freely and unconditionally. I had hurt him so much that he couldn’t see a way back but I understood him completely and totally.

  Sam took my hand and we exited the room. “Clear up” he said bluntly to the other men and escorted me back to his car. He placed me in the front seat next to him and crouched down in the door frame. “You okay?” he asked compassionately.

  I just nodded.

  “He loves you, Ava.”

  I looked into his sad eyes. “I hurt him so much, Sam.”

  He nodded sadly and squeezed my hand then drove me to Courtney’s.

  She was stood in the doorway waiting for me after Mason had rung and told her to expect me. She took me in, bathed me and curled up behind me in bed and held me all night long.

  CHAPTER 50

  I RETURNED TO my little cottage the next day and was thrilled when I found it redecorated and furnished with brand new furniture. I couldn’t hold back the huge smile when I saw a large flat screen TV fixed to the wall above the fireplace. I was tempted to text Mason to thank him but refrained, knowing he wouldn’t want to hear from me.

  My bedroom exhibited a brand new king sized white iron bed with crisp white linen embroidered with soft blue orchids that reminded me of France and I loved it immediately.

  I received a delivery of pink and white roses in the afternoon. My heart soared when I thought they were from Mason and I opened the attached card.

  Thank you for sharing a part of you with me.

  I will always love you.

  Goodbye Ava,

  Be happy.

  Kade xxx

  I finally cried then; loudly, gut-wrenchingly and painfully until my head and throat hurt. I had not only destroyed myself but the man I loved with all my heart and soul, and another man who would sell his soul to have me.

  * * *

  The next several weeks dragged by, I wasn’t eating properly or sleeping, my body was screaming at me for relief to my punishment and I was co
nstantly ill from the effect of not enough food, too much coffee and self-loathing. I was also permanently tired.

  Courtney had insisted she came round to cook lunch for me.

  “Ava, you look like shit. You need to pick yourself up, babe,” she scolded as she placed a mushroom omelette in front of me and my stomach rolled. “It’s just something light. You should be able to manage it,” she frowned and then cocked her head at me.

  “What? I’m eating,” I mollified, picking up my fork and breaking off a small amount.

  Her eyes widened suddenly and she dropped her fork. “Ava,” she whispered.

  I frowned at her. “Courtney, what’s wrong?”

  Her wide eyes and open mouth frightened me. “Babe, when did you last have your period?”

  I shrugged. “Oh . . .” I gasped and widened my own eyes in reflection to Courtney’s. “Oh my god,” I wheezed. “I can’t be.” I breathed but knew I could be.

  Courtney jumped up and grabbed her bag. “I’ll be ten minutes,” she shouted as she raced from the house.

  Thirty minutes later we were sat on the edge of the bath staring at the little word on the test, ‘Pregnant.’

  “Oh my God,” I whispered. “Oh my God!” I repeated and then repeated again with a grin. “Oh my god Court, I’m having a baby,” I cried. Her answering joyous grin and tear streaked face brought my own tears of joy.

  We hugged and danced around the room and hugged again. She bent down and put her mouth to my stomach. “Hey peanut, Aunty Courtney here. I want you to snuggle in tight and keep safe for your mummy because we both love you so much.”

  I broke out in a sob and we hugged, laughed and danced some more.

  “Are you going to tell him?” she asked a while later as we were sat at the kitchen table.

  I lowered my eyes. “I can’t, Courtney. He hates me and I know he’ll think it’s Kade’s baby, even though Kade didn’t . . . you know . . . finish,” I said sadly and she nodded.

  “I don’t think he hates you, Ava,” she appeased but I looked at her.

  “Courtney, I broke his heart. I betrayed him in the worst way possible and because of those damn photos he will always have the whole Technicolor image of me and Kade tattooed in his mind.”

  She nodded sorrowfully and squeezed my hand. “What are you doing about Brian and Brenda’s anniversary tomorrow night?”

  I had received the invitation for their thirtieth wedding anniversary party a week ago and Brenda had rung me, insisting that I go being as though I was now ‘unofficially’ her daughter. I was pleased that they had insisted I kept in touch with them and over the last few weeks they had been supportive and also quite angry at how I was mistreating myself.

  “I’ve got to go, you’re invited too and I need you there. I’ll just try to keep out of his way and hide my feelings behind a smile,” I told her. “I don’t think he will go anyway. He’ll know that I’m invited so . . .” I didn’t finish and we both sat quiet in our own thoughts.

  Eventually Courtney stood up and held out her hand. “Come on mama; let’s go get some food in you. My treat.” She grinned and I grinned back, knowing I now had to pick myself up and feed my little ‘peanut’ as Courtney had called him/her.

  Placing a hand over my belly I smiled and closed my eyes in a silent prayer for ‘Little Mason’ to look over his brother or sister.

  * * *

  The next night Courtney and I strolled into the already heaving party. I was grateful for the dimmed lights, I was amazed I hadn’t noticed my little belly bump already until I donned the tight cream lace dress I had bought especially for tonight.

  I had fallen in love with it immediately. It was thigh length and the top part was pure intricate lace that had an invisible bra fitted into it but the outline of my breasts were discreetly visible and the effect was ultra-sexy but chic and sophisticated. The lace blended diagonally into cream silk that hugged my curves, and now I had an extra curve.

  I had been appalled and told Courtney I couldn’t wear it but she said I looked amazing and it was only because I knew I was pregnant that I noticed my little round tummy.

  We found Brian and Brenda. I had already given them their gift of a weekend in Saint Tropez to which Brenda cried and couldn’t thank me enough.

  “You look amazing Ava, still a little pale and skinny but stunning. You always know what to wear to enhance your beauty,” Brian praised and I blushed at his comment.

  Brenda smiled widely and hugged me then left me and Courtney to attempt to squeeze between the hordes of people at the bar.

  “Rum and coke and a vodka and cranbe . . . ooh no cancel that last one, I’ll have a cranberry and soda,” I grumbled with a sulky pout.

  The barman gave me a quizzical look and then laughed. “You sure, darlin’?”

  I smiled back and nodded. He stood and blatantly perused me over the bar, his eyes lingering a little too long on my mouth before he shook his head slightly as if to clear a thought and went to fetch our drinks.

  When he returned and I paid he grasped my hand as he passed me my change and pulled me a little further towards him and he leant right over the bar.

  I was surprised by how far he could reach until I realised he was practically laid on the bar. “Will you dance with me in my break?” he asked loudly in my ear. I smiled shyly and blushed but nodded my head producing a huge grin from him. “I’ll find you soon then.” He winked then turned back to another customer.

  Courtney giggled in my ear. “Ooh, pulled already.” I rolled my eyes and we went in search of friends.

  “Ava!” I heard a shout from the other side of the room. I turned to see Marcy waving frantically at me. I grinned and pulled Courtney over to the table.

  “Ava, where the hell have you been hiding?” she smiled and gestured for us to sit.

  “Oh you know.” I smiled timidly and she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.

  “We’re still friends though, right?” she asked cautiously. I grinned and squeezed her hand back.

  “Of course.”

  I scanned the table and greeted everyone.

  “How you doing?” Sam asked as he looked me over with a scowl. “Ava, you’ve lost weight,” he scolded and I shrugged.

  “I’m good. How are you, Sam?” He smiled and nodded but his eyes were still narrowed on me. I reached over and grasped his hand as I leaned in to his ear. “I never got to thank you Sam for . . . for what you did for me with Lee,” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “I just wish everything had turned out better, Ava,” he whispered back as he smiled sadly at me.

  I bit my lip and nodded, “Me too.”

  “Oh God!” Greg groaned and we all looked to him. He noticed us waiting for an explanation and he seemed to kick himself. “Nothing.” He grimaced but I could see his eyes flicking behind me nervously.

  I turned to look at what had grabbed his attention. Mason had walked in and was already surrounded by people, talking and wanting his attention.

  My mouth dried instantly at the sight of him, my heart rammed against my breast bone and the damn lump was back in my throat.

  My blood froze as the crowd parted for him and I saw Rebecca hung on his arm, her small round belly protruding in front of her.

  The lump seemed to grow too big for my windpipe and I made a strange gurgling noise as my hands started to sweat. I bit my bottom lip savagely and turned back to the table.

  “Ava . . .” Sam said sadly.

  I faked a smile and shook my head. “Hey, I deserve it. I’m good.”

  I swallowed a large mouthful of my drink as Courtney’s hand rested on mine. “You wanna take off?” she asked. I could see her hurt, anger and love pleading with me.

  I was just about to nod to her when a breath whispered across my cheek. “You ready for that dance, darlin’?” I turned to see the barman leant into me. Our eyes caught as I looked at him and his eyes dropped to my mouth. He sucked a small breath in through his teeth and his eyes burnt with
desire.

  “I was just leaving,” I told him quietly and he cocked his head in question.

  “You promised,” he smiled slyly. “And you must always keep promises.” He winked, grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

  His eyes skimmed over me and his smile grew wicked. “Nice,” he breathed under his breath as his eyes settled on mine.

  He tugged me harder so I was pulled up against him. “This doesn’t look like a dance floor,” I smirked.

  “No,” he pursed his lips and turned round, pulling me behind him.

  We reached the floor. He spun back round to me and grinned wickedly as he turned to the DJ and nodded. The track that was playing suddenly stopped and Kings of Leon’s, Closer started playing. I shook my head in laughter as he skimmed his bottom lip with his tongue and his eyes lit up cheekily.

  He took hold of my hand as he pulled me into his strong frame and then he started moving . . . Jesus this man could dance. His hips rocked against mine as his other hand settled at the base of my back and the beat of the track took over our bodies.

  As we progressed through the dance he slowly pulled me further into him as both hands circled round my body. His eyes bore into mine, the desire evident in the intensity as he slipped a hand over my ass and I heard a small groan leave his lips.

  Closing my eyes I tried to relax into him but he wasn’t doing it for me; there was no spark, no desire and no heat. I was angry with myself; I needed to get past Mason so I ordered myself to try. I slid my hands around him, placing them on his arse as our bodies ground into each other.

  He gazed at me, his dark pupils boring into me, his lips parted as his other hand slipped to my bottom and he clasped gently. “God, you’re so hot,” he breathed in my ear as his lips tugged on my earlobe.

  I closed my eyes. “I’m not looking for a relationship,” I said quietly in his ear.

  He pulled back and looked at me, the desire still hot in his eyes. “Neither am I,” he told me with a twinkle in his eye.

  I took a deep breath. Did I want this? A one night stand, could I do the whole wham bam, thank you ma’am?

  I bit my bottom lip and shook my head regretfully. “I can’t, I’m sorry” I whispered and he smiled sadly.