Beneath the Burn

by Pam Godwin

  His words bore into her heart, filling it with so many hopeful emotions, she thought it might explode.

  He pressed his lips to her temple, his voice soft. “My parents died in a plane crash when I was six. It caught me off guard thinking about Roy sending you to your death in this plane.”

  Not the answer she was expecting, and it turned her thoughts soft and sticky. She wanted to hug him so badly it hurt. She released her grip on the countertop behind him, wedged her arms between their bodies, and hugged herself instead. “Thank you for telling me.” She leaned against him. “Someday, I’d like to hear more about it. While I’m holding you. Okay?”

  “Okay.” Color flowed back to his face, but his smile was shaky. He released her, though his fingers seemed reluctant to let go of her waist. He reclaimed her hand and let her lead him through the cabin.

  The drummer, Rio, glanced up and yanked his ear buds out. “Well fuck me, you old menstruating recluse.” He rose and strutted down the aisle, tapping a beat on the ceiling with his knuckles and grinning at Jay. “The rumor is true? This is her? The Huntress?”

  Huntress. A flutter awoke in her chest. That one word sucked her back to a time when all she had was Jay’s voice singing to her through her ear buds from outside her prison. She held out a hand. “I’m Charlee.”

  Creases formed on Rio’s bald head as his mahogany eyes roamed every inch of her except the hand she offered. “Too fucking sexy for a handshake.” He stretched out his beefy arms. “Come here, baby.”

  Tension steamed from Jay’s body as his muscles turned to stone against her back. He reached around her, stabbing a finger at Rio’s chest. “No fucking way.”

  “Aw, come on—”

  Gliding footsteps approached from behind the drummer’s huge frame. Wil Sima leapt over the nearest chair, knocking Rio’s arm down to get around him, and landed in a crouch on the cushion. He blew his bleached bangs out of his eyes. “Charlee. You made it.”

  Jay’s hand tightened in hers, pulling her back a step. The narrow aisle didn’t allow much maneuvering, but he managed to wiggle himself between her and his bandmates.

  “Did you bring your tattoo stuff?” Wil cocked his head, his boyish grin matching his lanky body and shaggy hair. “Laz is anxious to pay his debt.”

  In the rear of the cabin, Laz knelt against the back of his rear-facing chair with his arms folded on the headrest. He gave her a chin lift and a grimace.

  She was surprised he hadn’t found a way out of the bet. “My things didn’t make it.” Everything she owned remained in the duffle bags at her apartment. “Maybe I could have my tattoo supplies shipped.” She couldn’t afford to replace them unless Laz gave her an advance on the twenty grand.

  Shaking his head, Jay stared down at her. “No need, Charlee. You and Nathan will have all new things by the time we arrive. Tony’s already arranged it.”

  A fit of objections coursed through her, but her shock by how quickly he’d solved their immediate problem of no clothes led the questioning. “When did you coordinate that?”

  “She made some calls before we left your apartment. I have personal assistants and shoppers on call.” His tone softened to a careful lull. “Did you leave anything behind you can’t put a price on?”

  Like photos? Keepsakes? Family heirlooms? A pinch of pain twisted in her chest. The only sentimental thing she owned was her sketchbook of tattoos. She rubbed a hand over the canvas of her messenger bag where it hung at her hip and felt its shape safe inside. She shook her head.

  He stroked a thumb over her cheekbone. “Are there prescriptions or anything specific you need?”

  “No, but the tattoo gun…you can’t just—”

  “Do you trust me?”

  More than she should. She nodded.

  Static crackled the overhead speakers. “This is Captain Hugh. We’re ready for departure, so if you’ll take your seats and get those seatbelts on, we’ll push off in about three minutes.”

  As Jay guided Charlee to the two side-by-side chairs in the middle of the cabin, she looked for Nathan. A silver-haired woman in a black skirt suit plugged the exterior door. Nathan stood behind her, scanning the cabin. When he locked eyes with Charlee, he slid into a seat in the front row.

  Tony moved from her post at the cockpit door and advanced up the aisle, steely eyes on Jay. “Need anything before we take off?”

  He lowered into the seat beside Charlee and laced his fingers with hers. “The rest of the security team is returning commercial?”

  “Yes. They followed Mr. Oxford to ensure he wouldn’t obstruct our takeoff. Your L.A. team will be waiting for us when we land.”

  He let his head fall back against the seat. “Thanks, Tony.”

  The lights dimmed and the engines whirred. The leather seat cradled her backside, and the gorgeous man beside her hummed a mellow tune.

  What an indulgent way to travel. If she stayed with Jay, could she jet set all over the world with him? What if he and his band lost their lifestyle because of her? Her smile slumped, as did her shoulders.

  Damn. Thinking about what-ifs was such a buzz kill. Instead, she concentrated on the hand in hers, the hypnotizing cadence of his soft humming voice, and tried to suspend the moment forever.

  44

  During the long minutes of taxiing and takeoff, Jay’s proximity was so heady, it rubbed against Charlee’s erogenous zones. He stared at her in silence, his thumb circling the top of her hand. The simmering energy between them multiplied with her heartbeats. The recycled air blowing from the ceiling did little to cool the heat searing from her skin. He appeared just as flushed. In fact, he looked like he was about to crawl out of his clothes.

  Once the plane was airborne and the captain turned off the seat belt sign, he released her hand. “I need to talk to Tony for a few minutes, okay?”

  “Yep,” she breathed.

  Leaning into her, he cupped her jaw and raised her mouth to his. The first touch sent a thrill vibrating through her body. As he deepened the kiss, wildfire spread from his lips, his breath moist and hot, and his tongue coaxing a flame of sensations. He pulled back, drank her in with his eyes, and dipped his head again, kissing every inch of her lips, her cheeks, her eyebrows, and returning to her mouth.

  Their tongues, teasing and receiving, stroked warm exhales and muffled moans. She gripped the armrests, gasped for air, and squeezed her thighs together to mollify the ache between them.

  One of his hands retreated from her face, sliding down her neck, over her collarbone, lingering along the outside of her breast, and lowered to clutch her waist and pull her closer. The seat belt halted her movement. He released her mouth to glare at the offending obstacle.

  Fingers aching in their locked position, she uncurled them and freed the belt. “I want to touch you.”

  As she leaned toward him, she glimpsed the guys through the crack between their seats. Rio slumped in the last seat in the rear, head bent on his shoulder, mouth open and eyes closed. On the couch, Laz strummed a guitar in his lap, the sound piping to his large headphones. Beside him, Wil’s face pinched in concentration as he restrung his bass.

  Jay removed his hand from her waist, redirecting her attention. He clenched his jaw and gripped the bulge in his leathers. Then he fell toward her and buried his moan in her neck. “Let’s go to the lavatory.”

  The charged pulse between her legs dulled. What would Nathan think of her if she snuck off to the bathroom with Jay? Her lungs deflated. She couldn’t risk his judgement without first venting her guilt. “Thought you needed to talk to Tony.”

  He put his hands on his knees and frowned at his erection. “Um…Not with this.” The leather pants seemed to magnify his arousal.

  “I could shoot it with a rubber band.”

  He barked out a strained laugh. “Where the hell did that come from?”

  “It’s worked for me in the past.”

  His smile crashed into a frown. “What do you mean by that exactly?”

 
“It’s not what you think. I was just a kid.”

  “Jesus.” He stared at her, the whites of his eyes glowing in the dampened light. “That’s even worse.”

  “No, this is good story. Want to hear it?”

  “I don’t know.” He rubbed a hand over his thigh, distractingly close to his erection. “Do I?”

  “Yeah.” She curled up in the seat with her legs beneath her and twisted to face him. “When I was little, Craig used to leave me at the neighbor’s house all the time. Nice lady, but she had five boys. Bigger and older, the bastards liked to gang up on me.”

  His hand clenched on his leg. “Where was your mother?”

  “I didn’t have a mother. Just listen.” She leaned back in the chair. “They cornered me in the basement, the backyard, the bathroom, anywhere Linda wasn’t, and tried to bully me into taking off my pants. You know, the I’ll let you touch mine if you let me touch yours thing?”

  “No.” He ground his teeth. “I don’t know.” His hand flexed and his eyes clouded, so she hurried to the good part.

  “I was finding it difficult to fight them off. I could’ve tattled on them, but their retaliation would’ve made things worse. Instead, I made a deal with them.”

  “Please tell me this deal did not involve the removal of your pants. How old were you?”

  She tapped her lip. “Ten…yeah, I was ten. And the deal was, whoever’s dick I could hit with a rubber band from fifteen paces away would never be able to bother me again.”

  He groaned.

  “They agreed to one attempt each.”

  “Fucking hell, Charlee. And if you missed?”

  She grimaced. “He would have unrestricted access below my waistband.”

  His hand flew to his hair, tangling and yanking with his fingers. “That was a hell of a risk.” His voice rose. “You were only ten, for fuck’s sake.”

  “Calm down. What they didn’t know was I had spent the entire summer collecting rubber bands and shooting them at the bagworms that covered the big spruce behind our apartment building.” She grinned. “I tagged a lot of bagworms.”

  His hand dropped to his lap and his lips twitched. “You hustled them.”

  Just thinking about it made her smile. “They lined up along the basement wall with their briefs around their ankles.” She let out a happy sigh. “Nothing like watching five hard little pricks shrivel with the delightful sound of snapping rubber.”

  He shook his head. “That’s fucked up.”

  “I don’t know. I earned their respect, and they never messed with me again.” She laughed. “It’s one of my fondest memories.” She glanced at his lap. “How’s the hard little prick?”

  “Not little, but definitely shriveled. Thankfully, without a snapping sound.” His mouth descended toward hers.

  She angled away, smiling. “Sure you want to do that again?” She pointed at his lap.

  “Argh. I’ll be back in a minute.” He stole a quick kiss and jumped from the seat.

  She leaned into the aisle to watch his ass flex through his strides. The confident way he carried himself, especially in his tight pants, made her cheeks heat and her body tingle. Good lord, she would have to cool off before she attempted a conversation with Nathan.

  Too late. Nathan gave his seat to Jay and headed her way. She took a few calming breaths, looked up and smiled. “Hey.”

  He held out his hand. “Give me the gun.”

  She flinched. “Why?”

  “Because it makes you too brave, too dangerous, and even more of a pain in the ass than you already are.” His hand waited.

  Bastard. She yanked her bag from the floor, pulled out the gun, and dropped it on his palm, meeting his glare with one of her own.

  Checking the safety, he tucked it in his waistband, dropped into the chair beside her, and rubbed at a scratch on the metal arm rest. Silent seconds ticked by. She told herself she was just letting her arousal dissipate, but he was strangely reserved.

  They never had trouble talking to one another, but she’d stirred up a lot of shit in one day, in addition to whatever was going on between her and Jay. Her relationship with Nathan was navigating new territory.

  The awkwardness between them ballooned into a heavy pressure in her lungs. Reaching for his chin, she gently turned his face toward her. “I’m not sure when this started, this guilt I’m carrying. I need to know—”

  “It’s good, Charlee.”

  She lowered her hand. “What’s good?”

  “You’re moving on.” He turned sideways in the chair to face her and rested his head against the seatback. “I know you’re still grieving over how you think you handled things with Noah, and I wish you’d stop.”

  A violent mess of emotions clogged her throat.

  “I’ve looked at things from Noah’s perspective a million times in the past three years. He knew something was up. Hell, I knew, even before I took that PI case. He was ignoring all your signals and forcing a connection that wasn’t there. Can’t say I blame him, though.” His eyes flicked to the front of the cabin and back to her. “You’re easy to love, Charlee.”

  She stopped breathing and the air chilled the perspiration on her face. “What are you saying?”

  Sitting up, he met her with an unwavering stare. “Not what you think I’m saying. I love you, but not like that. You’re my best friend, my sister, and the only family I have.”

  The mounting tension seeped from her body and she breathed deeply through her nose. She reached for his fingers and traced his knuckles. “You’re those things to me, too, but I don’t understand why you don’t hate me.”

  He stared at their hands. “How the hell could I hate you? You gave my brother what you were capable of giving him. He didn’t die brokenhearted. He died happy.”

  She looked away with burning eyes. “He died because of me.” Her whisper ended on a croak.

  “Bullshit. You didn’t kill him. Salvador did that.”

  Grief pummeled her insides, but she kept it bottled, held her expression empty. She would not break down.

  He cupped her cheek. “Jesus, I know your face so well. Let it go. Don’t you see? You’ve given me things, too. Without you, I’d be consumed by revenge.” He dropped his hand and looked out the window at the passing clouds. “All those times you suggested we go our separate ways, I considered it. Believe me, I did. I want revenge, and I can accomplish it easier on my own.” His eyes locked on hers. “Protecting you gives me a second chance, a kind of absolution. I didn’t save him, but I can still save you. Call it a self-righteous pursuit to build my hero complex.”

  “Oh, please. You’re the epitome of a pure heart. And I’ll tell you the same thing you tell me. You aren’t to blame for his death.”

  His lips quirked, but sadness weighted his eyelids. “No. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have left my damn guns in the car that night. Wish I could beat his ass for that.”

  Pressure swelled in her sinuses and faded just as quick. It was getting easier to let him go.

  “I want you to be happy. And if a guitar jockey in slut pants does it for you, who am I to judge?”

  She cocked her head. Yeah, the pants definitely did something for her.

  “Noah’s happiest moments are kept here.” He tapped her temple. “And I get to relive some of them when they shine through in your smile. I’d like to see that smile more often.”

  She tried to give him one, her lips quivering with the effort, and failed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “All I ask is that you don’t close off my part of your life, okay?”

  “Never.” She tackled him in a hug, and his arms enveloped her.

  He laughed and pulled back to look at her. “You really like the rock star, huh?”

  She reclined against the window. “Yeah.” Her smile appeared suddenly and without effort. “You really like the bodyguard, huh?”

  A shrug. “She’s a Marine. What’s not to like?”

  “Whatever. We both know there�
�s more to it.”

  “Maybe.” His whiskered cheeks crawled to a grin. “We good?”

  For the next few hours, they were outside of Roy’s reach, shooting through the air at—What did Jay say?—Mach .80. And she had a date with a beautiful man in a bathroom.

  She gave Nathan another effortless smile.

  45

  “We’re all set then?” Jay nodded at the e-mail on Tony’s laptop, tapping his fingers on his knees, the heels of his sneakers bouncing with his excitement.

  “Yes. The machines will be ready in a week, but the customized engravings and the rush job quadrupled the price. Do you want to look over the bill?”

  “I don’t care how much they cost. Just make sure she gets them as soon as possible.”

  The tattoo irons served him as much as they served Charlee. There was such a thing as wanting something and someone beyond the edge of sanity. He wanted his tattoo completed, but not nearly as much as he wanted the artist. It was an all-consuming desire, unlike any he’d experienced. It lived in his blood and fed on his heart.

  “You’re in my seat.”

  He looked up to find Nathan glaring down at him. “Everything okay with Charlee?”

  “She’s good.” Nathan bent over him, his voice lowering with palpable hostility. “If that changes and I find you’re the reason, I will hollow out your dick with a butter knife.”

  Nathan’s protectiveness surpassed Jay’s instinct to defend himself. He made a hell of a trustworthy bodyguard.

  “Tell you what.” Jay hardened his tone, punctuated each word with conviction. “If I hurt her, in any way, I’ll cut it off myself and give it to you.”

  Nathan straightened, his eyes smiling. “Excellent.” He jerked his chin toward the rear of the cabin. “If you’re done here, I think she’s waiting for you.”

  Jay jumped to his feet and turned.

  Charlee leaned her back against the lavatory door, hands behind her, laughing at something Laz was saying. Her red hair curled around her toned arms, bouncing with the shake of her head. A pink flush tinted the curve of her cheeks and glowed against her milky skin. Her smile was as full of life as her bright eyes.