Never Give Up

by Heidi Lis

  Pulling out slightly, he starts to inch forward. Leaving only his tip inside, he freezes. His eyes are sparkling, yet the high eyebrow he’s glaring at me with, sends him in a fit of laughs.

  “Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give it so good. You want that don’t you?” His smirk is just as adorable as he is. Too bad he knows it!

  Rapidly blinking, I’m writhing trying to get any friction I can. “Yes,” I achingly moan, realizing I’ll get what I want if I just agree with him.

  “Well then, let’s have it, sugar,” he says, daring me with an edge of cockiness. “I’m dying here, El. My dick wants to explode, and I’m exercising all the self-control I have left. But it’s fading, so just please, fucking tell me you love me. Goddamit El, please tell me. I need it. I need it so fucking bad. You own me, El, you’ve always owned me. Please baby, tell me. Tell me while I’m deep inside of you.” His dark piercing eyes beg me. Taking a few extra breaths, Micah slides in slow, making sure his chest glides touching my aching breasts. Eyes never leaving mine he’s using every part of his body, to anchor himself to me. And I give in, I will not deny what my heart wants.

  “I love you Micah Taylor so fucking much.” It’s a cry, it’s a statement, it’s what I feel with every fiber of my being.

  “Fuck! Thank you, I love you too, pretty girl. I’ve always loved you.” His thrust is more urgent. He has so much power behind his moves. Totally loving every minute, he’s finally letting loose with me. I’m more than happy to go along for the ride of my life.

  In perfect sync, our souls search for their impending release. Micah’s comes with a hefty grunt and a violent shake. Mine is less hefty, but not any less potent. I feel it building, the way my muscles start to contract, my toes begin to curl, and as it gets more intense, I scream.

  “Micah—oh, MICAH!” My release is so potent I tighten my fingers with his.

  Lowering his head, he’s breathing frantically and I take this moment to bite his neck as each shake and tremor of my orgasm slowly leaves my body.

  “Oh, holy hell, pretty girl.” Reaching up to his neck where I had apparently drawn blood with my teeth. He winces a few times, eyeing me playfully. “Are you a vampire now baby, holy crap.” A bead of blood appears when he removes his hand from his neck.

  “Oh shit,” I say mortified. “Sorry,”

  He winks with a shrug of his shoulder. “Oh don’t be, babe. It’s pretty hot.” Leaving me with a big grin.

  “Pfft, smartass.”

  Our back and forth is so easy and— normal.

  “God, did I ever miss this with you.” His chuckle is suddenly more serious and loving as he swipes his thumb across my cheek.

  I stay quiet, looking at him with nothing but love.

  “Elsa?” He asks with a slight head tilt.

  Swallowing hard, I sweetly reply. “Yes.”

  “Tell me about the tattoo. It’s beyond beautiful, but what does a butterfly have to do with me?”

  I follow his eyes as they travel to my hip.

  I’m unsure how to explain this to him, this is not a conversation I ever thought I would have with him, ever. I know I’m going to have to tell him the truth, just not right now.

  Looking away from his intense looking eyes, I shrug my shoulder, “It’s more or less a beautiful butterfly, always meant to fly.” Part of this is correct, I’m just omitting the rest. Hopefully, that satisfies him.

  His slight grin deepens and his eyes dance around it. “I love it, it’s unique. The wings, have a shape like a delicate letter M. Did you do that on purpose?” He’s tracing the wings recognizing the hidden letters.

  Damn, he’s good. Not much ever could get by him.

  With tears stinging my eyes I aching say, “Yeah, can’t believe you picked up on that.” Maybe it’s easier to make out than I had hoped it would be. I think he’s more than pleased with the smile that stretches his lips. Moving his eyes from my tattoo they settle back on mine. He seems content and completely satisfied.

  Laying next to me flat on his back, our shoulders touch. We turn our heads at the same time and look each other in the eye.The moonlight is just enough to make out his strong features. “I love the idea of my initial being marked on your body, babe. So much, that I’m going to make love to you again. This time, I’m going to adore you an inch at a time.” Leaning my way, his lips ghost over mine as he whispers, “Treasure it.”

  Oh God.

  “Yes, please.” I reply.

  The next hour is spent with Micah slowing making love to me and taking his time to worship every inch.

  Both of us are covered in sweat and breathing heavy. We are so exhausted, we don’t care that the sheet is barely covering us. I’m on my side and Micah is tucked snugly behind me. With his arm on my hip, he laces his fingers with mine. Getting lost in my own thoughts, I gaze out the window, trying to find answers…for what? I’m not sure. I don’t want to over think things, but at the same time, I’m worried about what I need to do. How do I tell him the truth, without running the risk of losing him?

  His sudden kiss on my shoulder snaps my attention back to him. “You know, I’m not leaving you again. I’ll deal with Liza tomorrow. She can see the writing on the wall, she told me that earlier.” He pauses for a second, running his nose along my shoulder blade, and suddenly tenses. “Tell Nick to keep his hands off of what’s mine. What has always been mine.”

  A smile forms on my lips, the idea of Micah all possessive, well, it’s an awesome feeling.

  “No worries, Ace,” I say sarcastically using his nickname.

  That earns me a slight nudge of his chin on my shoulder. “Hey, no way pretty girl,” no amusement in his tone. Tilting my chin with his finger, he says, “You call me Micah. My name was always yours to say. I love hearing you say my name.” Softly he brings his lips to mine.

  Peering in his eyes, I say. “I missed you.”

  It’s easy to see how he enjoys hearing these words. His eyes grow wide, and his smile is just as bright. “I missed you too, pretty girl.”

  My yawn draws a lingering one from Micah. Seems like I’m not the only one exhausted. “I need sleep, you’ve worn me out. Hope I can walk tomorrow.” I’m half kidding, of course. The megawatt smile I get in return tells me he likes that idea.

  “Getting to sleep next to you, nothing could get any better. God, I’ve missed holding you like this.” Micah whispers in my ear.

  Before drifting off to sleep, my mind is troubled with what’s to come over the next few days. One thing’s for sure, they will not be dull. Figuring a way to deal with Liza and Nick is one thing. My parents, are a nightmare in the making. Wrapped up in Micah’s strong arms, I realize this is the first time in five years I’ve felt this good. I won’t be having a bad dream tonight, not a chance.

  WAKING UP THE next morning I’m aware without opening my eyes, he’s not sleeping next to me. I miss his warmth, my bed feels oddly cold and lonely. Dreading it, I peel my eyes open looking at the spot he laid claim to last night. The only thing there now are wrinkled sheets, but no warm body. I notice, however, he left a note on the pillow. Our night before plays out in my mind, and a goofy smile spreads on my cheeks. I pick up the letter and read.

  Hope you slept well, Sunshine. You looked so peaceful, I did not have the heart to wake you. I need to go check up on Liza before she wakes. I know we have a lot to deal with, but we will do these things together. Liza, however, is my issue, I will talk with her. Believe in me to handle this, please. Looking forward to seeing you, kissing you. Getting up to leave you cuddled in my arms was not an easy thing to do. I love you, pretty girl. Having you in my life again, is a dream come true. You are my light, always burning bright. Sleep well, talk soon…

  Love,

  Micah

  Oh my, I read it twice, each time fighting back the happy tears. Having Micah in my life again and knowing I have a second chance at happiness is more than I could have ever wished for. The only thing I know fo
r sure is, I refuse to waste a single minute. Unfortunately, waking up today means, I have to deal with the aftermath. First I need coffee and a hot shower, then I can tackle what needs to be done. Preferably, one at a time. Micah said he would talk to Liza, and I’ll gladly let him. Nick will have to wait until after I talk with my parents, because I’ve got a lot to say. They are my top priority for the day.

  Showered up, I’m in the kitchen when I hear keys at the door. Shit, it has to be Liza. I’m not sure what kind of storm is heading my way, so I try to act busy. I pretend to wipe the counter as quickly as I can to clean up after last night’s disastrous dinner party. When she stumbles in, I keep my eyes trained on the counter, but not a second later, they automatically swing her way. I know the second my eyes find hers. The expression she is giving me tells me she had a long talk with Micah this morning. Nervously, she’s fidgeting with her hands. Anxious myself, I’m biting my lower lip, holding my nonexistent breath.

  This will play out one of two ways, she will either go ape shit on me, or will ignore me all together. The longer we stare at one another, it’s quiet, too quiet, and my eyes wrinkle with worry. No matter what, I refuse to be upset with whatever she decides to say to me. She’s innocent in all of this, just like I am. I never asked for things to play out as they have.

  Her eyes shift upward taking in a big breath. “So it seems, I never stood a chance. Not with you back in his life.” Her hands tremble wiping the falling tears. I’m struggling with the fact I want to reach out and comfort her. Wishing like hell I could run to her and give her a much-needed hug, I’m smart enough to know that it’s the last thing on earth she would want. I’m torn for the first time in a very long time, my happiness will come at the cost of my dear friend’s loss.

  Taking a step forward, I hold out a trembling hand. “Liza.”

  Looking a bit shocked as I approach her, she at once shoots her hand up. “No, don’t. I know. It’s easy to see how much he loves you. The pain in his eyes, when we talked, brought me to tears. Not for me either—for him.” Turning from me, Liza kept talking. She walked to the couch and sat, with her head falling to the back of the sofa. Closing her eyes tightly, she continues to talk while I stay where I am. “He kept talking like he had held all of these feelings inside for a very long time. I had no clue the torch he was carrying for you. I knew there was a girl from his past that he cared for deeply, but holy shit. Hearing him say the words, I not only felt the love he has for you, I could see it in his eyes.”

  Shaking her head side to side, she turns to look my way. “You know what was weird? He opened his heart and talked to me as if we’ve been friends for years, but all of it had to do with his feelings for you. I hate to admit I was in awe.”

  Her expression changes like she’s conflicted, hell, I think we all are at this point.

  She stops talking as I take a few strides to sit next to her. Any other day this would be a normal thing for us, amazing how one day can change it all.

  Tapping my knee with her finger, a slight smile formed amidst her tears. “I can see it in you, too. When you first saw him, it’s as if a light had come back into your life. I may hate it, but I can’t deny what is in front of me either. I will never have him—he was never truly mine.”

  My eyes are glistening, her pain and slight jealousy is easy for me to pick up on. I’m at a complete loss with what I should say.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper letting my tears fall, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting this conversation to go so calmly.

  She’s rubbing tops of her jeans looking uncomfortable. “Why, are you sorry? Because the love of your life came back? You have no reason to be sorry. I can’t hate you, or even him. Jesus, you two are soulmates destined to be with one another. Hell if I can understand it.”

  Standing up, she walks next to the window and pauses a minute before she slaps the wall, clearly frustrated. Is it possible for us to maintain a friendship?

  “How are we going to do this, Liza?” I ask because this has to be the most bizarre situation ever. “We live together; we work together. How can I be with him and not hurt you?” I’ve asked myself this question, again and again.

  My eyes plead with her as she leans her back against the wall. Her eyes furrow in my direction. Letting out an extended sigh, she says, “You won’t. I’ve made peace with this screwed up situation. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt like a bitch, but I honestly don’t want a guy who is so hung up on another girl.”

  She has a great point and one I still am having a hard time believing myself. All these years, I never knew his real feelings. The only problem is I have so much to tell him, but first I need to convince myself he is with me for good, that he won’t leave me again.

  “Liza,” I say needing my friend more than ever. “I’m a bit lost here. My life is crashing down around me. I’m not sure how to handle it or him. How do I let him in after all of this time?” I’m confused, scared and out of mind for even asking her this question, but she’s my only real friend, outside of Nick.

  Moving from the wall, she walks kneeling in front of me. She’s nervous but lays her head in my lap. She's being the friend I desperately need right now. I’m selfish for even asking, but I need her.

  “Easy,” she admits. “You let him in. Come to terms with the past five years, and move on. Why sit and stew on the past, it’s over, can’t change it.” Pulling back, she searches my face. “Work on the now, you’ve got a second chance with him. Take it and run. Hell, most of us never find what you have with him. You had it once, lost it, but now you have it back.” Her smile is genuine and this has to be hard for her to admit.

  “I still love him,” I let my guard down, telling her the truth.

  “Honey,” she pauses. “It’s obvious you do. If it were anyone else, I would put up a fight for him. Since it’s you, it makes it easier. Just do not tell me anything sexual, that would just be cruel.”

  We both laugh, cry and hug.

  My arms are around her, patting her back. “Okay, no sharing sex stories. Good idea.”

  Both of us are wiping our eyes, trying to figure out why we’re laughing, and crying instead of yelling and screaming at one another. Liza keeps joking, it’s her way of dealing with the hurt that is so evident in her eyes. I laugh with her because if I’m honest…I’m relieved as hell I still have my friend. She makes a few comments about us both living together, working together, and the guy she has been sleeping with is now my new guy who was my old guy. WAIT… WHAT?

  We both sit, deciding we’re going to take it one day at a time. Figure it out as we go.

  “We just move on, try not to dwell on it. I may not sit and be here front and center with you two for a while, but in time maybe.” She says.

  “Thank you so much, Liza… for not hating me. I am sorry you had to be in the middle of it. Some story, huh?”

  “Yeah,” her reply lingers with an extended sigh. “One I hope not to live through again. I see, I’m going to have to play nursemaid to Nick because he’s going to need someone. That boy is all screwed up right now.”

  Shit, she had to mention Nick. Her facial expression is alarming. Her eyes widen and her lop sided grin feeds into my fears. I can only imagine how he’s feeling.

  “Ugh, I can’t even think about him right now. I’m having a hard enough time wrapping my head around it all.” Lowering my head, the truth in her words hit home.

  “Oh!” She suddenly perks up. “If I sleep with him, that would undoubtedly help.” She’s laughing so hard she snorts.

  I crack up, slightly mortified. Her sleeping with Nick would be another guy who we’ve both slept with. That’s a frightening thought.

  “Well, at least you are laughing instead of crying. Listen, don’t worry about Nick. He’s a big boy, and he knows more than anyone when it comes to Ace…I mean Micah.” She says frowning as she corrected herself. I can tell she’s wondering what the hell she should call him by.

  She lowers her gaze. “Christ,
I see I never knew him. All along, he wasn’t who I thought he was. That right there tells me, we would have never lasted.”

  We both stay quiet with her admission. What can we say.

  Her phone beeps with an incoming text. We both get big-eyed wondering who it could be. I’m nervous it could be Micah, and why he would be texting her. I’m sure she feels about the same. Her face mimics my thoughts.

  Scrolling through her phone, she relaxes her shoulders. “Nick, he wants to meet for coffee.” Texting him back, she explains. “Nice, now he can cry on my shoulder. Well, might as well get this over with.” She says while walking into the kitchen that for the most part, is cleaned up from last night. Thankfully.

  Just when I was ready to ask her to tell Nick how sorry I am, my phone beeps. I’m afraid to look at it, the idea of Micah texting me with Liza in the room makes me nervous. In no way do I want to rub the fact he is texting me in her face.

  She easily reads my anxiety. Resting her hand over mine, she’s cool as a cucumber. “It’s okay, it’s most likely him. I will go and shower, you lovebirds get caught up.”

  With that, she leaves me with my beeping phone. I’m baffled at how cool she’s acting. Heck, it’s a lot better than I would be I imagine. Glancing downward, my stomach flutters with butterflies, knowing it’s Micah texting me.

  Micah: Pretty girl, all is well with Liza. Had a long talk. Missing you terribly. Need to see you, hold you, preferably all night long. This time, I’m not leaving. It’s Saturday, let me bring you dinner, and we can watch a movie or talk. So much, we need to discuss. Don’t say NO… you know you want to. Only YES, Elsa.

  On cloud nine, I’m smugly shaking my head to text him back.

  Me: Sounds Great, look forward to it. Going to stop by my parents today and set some things straight. Bring alcohol. I might need it. LOL