Cas: Heroes at Heart

by Maryann Jordan

  “Oh, my God!” the woman said as she stumbled backward.

  His gaze shot up to her face as the screen door slammed closed behind him, and Princess jumped to the floor at the movement. The woman’s blue eyes were wide, her black hair framing her pale face. It took several seconds for his mind to catch up to what his eyes were seeing, then he repeated her words, “Oh, my God.” Princess, now forgotten at their feet, walked away, swishing her tail.

  “Cas?”

  “Bianca?”

  He moved forward on instinct as she threw her arms around him. Stunned that someone he thought he would never see now had their arms around him and was tucked underneath his chin, his mind raced with questions. Hers must have also because she leaned back, peered up at him, and said, “I can’t believe it’s you!”

  She lowered her arms and stepped back, and he instantly missed her touch. Her gaze moved over him in the same way that his had earlier when he checked her out.

  They both started to speak at the same time, then halted and laughed. “I don’t even know where to start,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

  “I wanted to see you,” she admitted, and he remembered how openly honest she had been when she was younger. It seemed like that trait was still very much a part of her. “I even went by your old house today and saw Miss Ethel.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  “No, seriously. It was the whole reason I came back… to visit the old neighborhood. I never dreamed she still lived there, and when I saw her, I was thrilled.”

  He was getting ready to respond when Princess let out a yowl, demanding his attention. Shaking his head, he said, “I can’t believe she got out and made her way over here. She’s an indoor cat but loves to sit in the windowsill. I noticed — too late — the screen in my bedroom window was loose when I was looking for her. She probably saw something in the yard and chased it. Thank God she came over here and didn’t wander somewhere else.” He bent and scooped Princess up in his arms, cuddling her close as she purred loudly.

  Laughing, Bianca smiled benevolently at the pair. “She’s obviously yours.” She looked around her kitchen and said, “Would you like something to eat or drink? I just moved in, but I did go to the grocery store yesterday.”

  There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in her presence but said, “Let me run Princess home first, and then I can come back—”

  “She’s welcome to stay while you’re here,” Bianca offered. “I’d hate for you to make the extra trip, and I love cats, so she’s fine.”

  Her lips had curved into a wide smile, and he was overwhelmed with the desire to not leave her side. He lowered the purring cat to the floor, gave her head a rub, then stood and reached out to grab Bianca’s hand. Squeezing her fingers, he said, “I want to know everything. Everything about you. Where you’ve been. What you’ve done.” Looking around, he added, “And how you got here!”

  Tilting her head to the side, she smiled in return, her gaze never leaving his. “I want to know everything about you, too.”

  Heart lighter at her admission, he said, “This could take a while.”

  Her top teeth landed on her bottom lip as another smile slipped out. “Cas, I’ve got nothing but time.”

  She turned and walked to her refrigerator, opened the door, and peered inside. She glanced over her shoulder and called out, “Beer, wine, or iced tea?”

  “Beer would be good. Any kind.”

  She grabbed two long-neck bottles, walked over to the counter and popped the tops off. Smiling up at him, she said, “Come on through. The place was furnished, and I haven’t added much, but it’s comfortable.”

  He followed her into the living room, and his gaze immediately noted the placement of the furniture. It was not that unusual to place a sofa in front of the window and a wingback chair at an angle facing the fireplace and the sofa. But his gaze dropped to the floor next to the chair where he saw a basket filled with balls of yarn and a couple of knitting needles sticking out. Now he knew why the room seemed familiar… she had replicated Miss Ethel’s living room.

  She sat down on one end of the sofa, bent her leg and tucked a foot underneath her, twisting her body so that she faced him as he sat down on the sofa as well.

  His head nodded toward the basket of yarn, and he said, “I remember Miss Ethel teaching you how to knit. I see you still do it.” His eyes drifted to some of the books in the bookcase on the other wall, and he added, “And I see you still like to read.” She nodded, and he admired her profile for a long moment, her black hair creating a curtain for her face. “You’re just as beautiful as I remember. It’s like you haven’t changed.”

  She turned toward him, and he watched as something moved through her blue eyes, something filled with pain. Her smile slipped a little. “There’s a lot of things that have changed, Cas. But coming back to this area, I’m hoping to recapture a bit of who I used to be.”

  Those words did not scare him at all, but instead intrigued him — and gave him hope.

  11

  Because she had spent time that morning with Miss Ethel, Bianca had been thinking about the past. Glancing over at Cas, she could only imagine how shocked he was. For all she knew, he had spent no time in the last twelve years thinking about her at all. Suddenly nervous, she was clueless where to start.

  Looking up at him, she took a long swig of her beer just to give her something to do. He did the same, then his eyes landed on her. He looked different yet so similar. He had grown several inches in height and definitely packed on muscle. Wearing jeans that fit perfectly and ended in heavy, black boots, he had a harder look about him than he did as a teenager. His T-shirt, tight over his muscles, showed the sleeve of tattoos.

  His hair, shorter on the sides and slightly longer on top, was a darker blond. A neatly-trimmed short beard covered his jaw and chin. His grey-blue eyes were just as intense as she remembered, and they were scanning her as well.

  Self-conscious, she had no idea if what he saw reminded him of the girl he once befriended. Taking another swig of beer, she leaned forward and placed the bottle on the coffee table, the liquid churning in her stomach.

  “Nervous?” he asked.

  Her gaze shot back to his, and she saw the slight curve of his lips. Nodding, she smiled. “Yeah. It’s weird, isn’t it? It’s been twelve years, and suddenly I can’t think of how to begin describing my life.”

  He leaned forward, placed his bottle on the coffee table next to hers, and suggested, “Why don’t you just start talking? You were always so good at expressing yourself.”

  She thought back to those teenage years when she so readily approached him and began to chat. She had done the same thing with his brothers. Sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she considered how adulthood puts the kibosh on the easy and open communication of childhood.

  He reached over and placed his hand on her arm, his fingertips rubbing gently, and said, “Start at the beginning. Tell me about when you, your dad, and stepmom moved to California.”

  With her body twisted to face him on the sofa, she propped her elbow on the back cushion and her head in her hand. “I thought we were just going to California because that’s where my dad’s job was sending him. But he put in for the transfer because Lucille had hounded him about taking a position that would make more money. And her younger brother lived in California and had convinced her that it was the place to be.” Sighing, she shook her head in frustration. “So, not only did I get ripped away from you, your brothers, and Miss Ethel, I ended up in a place I didn’t like, with a stepmother who didn’t like me.”

  “Your dad put up with her?” Cas asked, surprise in his tone.

  Nodding slowly, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, allowing the bitterness to recede. “Yes. I had just started school at the local high school, but by the holidays, Lucille was tired of me being around.” She sucked in her lips as her fingers rubbed her forehead, and she held his gaze. �
�You know, it was only recently that I really, truly understood everything that was happening. At the time, all I knew was that I was definitely not wanted.”

  Their knees almost touching, Cas settled deeper into the sofa, giving off the vibe that he was in for the long haul. That was something she remembered about him… he was never in a hurry. If she wanted to talk, he listened. Not one person in her life since him would just listen, and a craving deep inside to unburden came forth.

  “I’m sure you remember how shocked I was when Dad told me he was getting married because I just thought Lucille was someone he went out with. When I met her, I recognized how very different she was from my mom.” She hesitated, gathering her thoughts, then said, “Mom was so laid back, and Lucille was high-maintenance. I didn’t know this when I was a child, but my mom’s parents were actually very wealthy. My dad was insistent that he did not want her money, so we lived in average houses in average neighborhoods. I know my mom was very easy-going… she had no need for her parents’ money. My mom’s share of her inheritance was coming to me when I turned twenty-five. Dad had never mentioned that to me when I was younger.”

  Cas shifted slightly on the sofa, his hand reaching out to hers. She loved his touch, feeling both calmed and exciting at the same time.

  “Lucille struck me as being fake from the moment I met her, but my dad seemed happy, so I pushed my feelings to the side and was determined to make the best of things. When we moved to California, we moved into a big house in a gated community. I was surprised but can’t say I was unhappy at first. From the moment we landed in California, Lucille acted like she was finally getting the life she deserved.”

  “What happened?”

  “Her brother was much younger than her… he had a different dad, but I thought it might be cool to have an uncle that wasn’t a lot older than me since I missed your brothers so much. But I quickly learned he was not to be trusted. He made me really uncomfortable, and when I thwarted his advances, he even tried to slip into my room at night. I told Dad and Lucille, and she accused me of making it all up.”

  Cas’ eyes narrowed as his face hardened. “But your dad… he believed you, right?”

  She winced as the painful memories moved through her. “He did but was also willing to accept that Lionel stumbled into the wrong room when he came home drinking.”

  “Fuckin’ hell, Bianca.”

  The memories made the air feel thin, and she sucked in a ragged breath. “Things became very tense between Dad and Lucille after that. Lucille’s dislike of me grew by leaps and bounds. She hated any attention Dad gave me or any money he spent on me. By the holidays, she had convinced my dad that the best place for me was a boarding school. She claimed it had the best education, but what she really wanted was for me to be away from him.” Shrugging, she said, “Looking back, I’m surprised she agreed for him to spend the money on boarding school, but that’s how desperate she was to not have me around.”

  “Was that better? To be away from her?” he asked, her fingers now held by his.

  Barking out an unladylike snort, Bianca replied, “I transferred to a snooty school halfway through my junior year. I didn’t care about fashion and didn’t have the latest styles to wear. I loved classical literature and hated modern music. Believe me, I could not have been less of a fit for this school. I managed to make it through the rest of the year because of a wonderful English literature teacher, who I think was thrilled to finally have a student that she could connect with. The plan was for me to go back home for the summer between my junior and senior year, but Lionel was going to be there as well. So, I took summer classes and then rolled straight into my senior year. I had no friends, but at least I wasn’t going to be molested.”

  “I just don’t get it, Bianca,” Cas said, his expression pained. “How could your dad be so blind? I mean, I know he was gone a lot, but whenever I saw him in the neighborhood, he seemed like a great dad.”

  She nodded slowly, nibbling on her bottom lip, her mind cast back to days long gone by. Finally, she said, “I don’t know how to answer that, Cas. They say love is blind, but in this case, I think love must’ve been blind, deaf, and dumb. But I have to admit that Lucille was a brilliant manipulator. She could say something that would cut me to the quick and then turn around and sweet talk as soon as Dad walked into the room.”

  Rubbing her fingers over her chest, she continued, “Soon, everything really went to hell.” She looked up and held his gaze, saying, “I used to think her cruel words were stabbing me in the heart, but then, halfway through my senior year of high school, I was hospitalized with real heart pains. It turns out that I had a problem with my aortic valve and had to have heart surgery.”

  She pulled the top of her T-shirt down a few inches to show the beginnings of the scar that ran down her chest. She watched Cas’ gaze lower then jump back up to her face, his eyes wide. His hand slid up her arm and squeezed. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry, babe.”

  “I missed the rest of my senior year, had to move back home, and was at the mercy of Lucille while I spent months recuperating.” Giving her head a little shake, she said, “It sucked.”

  “Are you okay now?” he asked, his words laced with concern, and as she stared into his eyes, she could see it was sincere.

  “Yeah, I’m good. The surgery was successful. I was out of school for about two months. By that time, my senior year was almost over. Dad hired the English teacher that I liked so well to work with me so that I could finish all the coursework needed to get my diploma. But as far as my health, everything’s good.”

  He rubbed his fingers over the back of her hand, mumbling, “Your fingers are cold. Are you okay?”

  She chuckled and said, “I’ve always had cold hands.” Shrugging, she added, “Poor circulation.” She turned her hand over and was thrilled when he linked his fingers with hers. It was hard to believe twelve years had passed since she last sat with him, and yet, here they were as adults, still feeling a connection.

  “Tell me more,” he encouraged. “What happened after you healed?”

  “I went to college a semester late, and I found that to get my major and minor it took an extra semester. So, basically, it was five years before I graduated.” She closed her eyes and smiled, saying, “Those are my best memories. I was away from Lucille and Lionel, and even though I had to be away from my dad, it was easier. He and I could chat while he was on the road. Or he would come visit me when he was traveling. He still had blinders on when it came to her, but I think it finally dawned on him that she was not all what she presented.”

  “Is your dad still in California?”

  She shook her head slowly from side to side. “No, Cas. He died last year after a long bout with cancer.”

  Cas’ body jerked. “Holy fuckin’ shit, Bianca. Your dad marries a bitch who’s got a brother you have to try to keep from molesting you. You have open heart surgery and then your dad gets cancer? Jesus, how the hell are you still standing?”

  In that moment, Bianca knew what had been missing from her life for the past twelve years. Someone who listened. Someone who believed. Someone who understood. For so many years her father kept believing that Lucille was not as horrible as she was, and it was only near the end of his life that he realized the kind of woman he had married. Before then, Bianca felt as though she had been battling everything by herself with no shield for whatever life was throwing at her.

  “I used to think of you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. His eyes flared, but she continued, “I had no one to shield me. No one to fight for me. It was near the end that Dad finally understood about Lucille, but by then he was too sick to be much of a shield. But even in my darkest times, I used to think of you.”

  “I should’ve found you,” Cas said, his brow furrowed as he swallowed heavily. “When I got out of the Army, I should’ve tried to get in touch. I just figured you’d gone on with life. I fucked up.”

  Leaning forward, she placed her free hand on his
leg and squeezed her hand that was still clutching his. “Cas, honey, you didn’t fuck up. We were friends as teenagers. We didn’t have the maturity or the foresight to try to stay in touch.”

  “I wrote to you. You’d given me your new address before you left, but I confess I didn’t write until I’d already been in the Army for a year.”

  She reared back, her hand spasming in his. “Wrote… what are you talking about?”

  “I figured you had graduated from high school, and I wondered what your plans were--”

  “I never got it! I never knew!” A thought hit her, and she lifted her hand to her chest, placing it over her heart. “Oh, God… Lucille. She must have kept it from me.” She could not decide if she wanted to scream in anger or cry in heartache. Her eyes searched his. “I wrote to Miss Ethel to find out how you were, but never received a reply.”

  Eyes wide, he shook his head. “Oh, Bianca… if she got the letter, she would have written back… absolutely.”

  They were silent for a moment, her mind filled with Lucille’s machinations that had managed to keep them apart. He kept her fingers wrapped in his hand, his warmth finally penetrating.

  Finally blowing out her breath, she shrugged. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. She was… is a horrible person. It seems as though life just happened to both of us. But just the thought of you gave me a mental shield.”

  The two of them sat quietly for a few more minutes, their attention snagged when Princess strutted into the room, her tail in the air flicking back and forth. The beautiful cat jumped up on the sofa between them and curled up, licking her paws.

  Cas turned his gaze back to Bianca and said, “So, how did you escape your evil stepmother’s clutches?”

  Bianca snorted a laugh, and it felt so good to finally let go of some of her anger. “I never thought about living in a real-life fairy tale, but you’re right. She was evil.”

  “I didn’t mean to make light of her.”