by Ava Michaels
At first, my ego told me she was bullshitting me and that this was revenge. The kind of revenge bosses love to get. Deep down I knew she was telling the truth. When you have to start buying ink cartridges that can be manually refilled, you know times are hard. But, I still think Betty enjoyed not being able to hire me on. She never forgave for calling her Betty-the-Bridled-Beast all those years ago. And being Big Stick’s main squeeze didn’t help either. She was going to go out of her way to ensure any accusations of nepotism would be totally unfounded.
So, I did what millions of other college students about to graduate were doing. I sent my resume out. Nothing. Bupkus. Nada. Oh, except for Mo-Joe’s Coffee House. They said they were looking for a server and dishwasher. And one temp-agency called me back and asked me if I would be able to stop in and take an Excel and WordPerfect test so they could rate my office skills. What? I had a B+ average in Advance Calculus.
This was making me a mess inside. I did what any girl in my position would do. I turned to my friends for support. A lot of good that did.
………
Jess bounced into our room one evening about three months before graduation with a look on her face like I had never seen.
“I got it,” she whispered to me.
“Oh, shit, what? Herpes? Crabs? Oh, Jess, it’ll be okay.”
She stomped her foot and planted her hand on her hip giving me that “I’m serious” mom look. I straightened up for her quick.
“OKAY, I met this old dude at Starbucks last Tuesday.”
“How old?” I was starting to get nervous.
“I don’t know, forty-five? Fifty? Anyway, he offers me this job, right. Says I’d be perfect.”
“Jess. Those pictures are going to end up all over the internet. What were you thinking?”
“Do you want to hear this or not?”
I gave her a big smile. “Yes, of course. I’ll stop.” I should have said no.
The man she had met was the Vice President of Harley-Davidson. He had just struck up a conversation with Jess about some marketing ideas and she starts spouting things she likes and doesn’t like about commercials on television and ads in her magazines. Then, they started talking about motorcycles. And the next thing she knows he’s giving her his card and telling her to come in and meet with his associate who was looking for an assistant.
“You’re looking at the Junior Associate to the Vice President of Marketing at Harley-Davidson!”
“What?”
“Yeah. I start a week after graduation. They are flying me out there, they’ll put me up until I find an apartment. I get free bike lessons and a special rate when I’m ready to buy my own custom HOG! Is that great or what?”
“Flying you out there? Where are you going?”
“Oh, well, Wisconsin. That is where the headquarters is. I’ll be a cheese head. Isn’t that the living end?”
About a week later I found out Alex had left We Can Do It! without as much as a good-bye or kiss-my-ass and moved to Los Angeles. He was “discovered” by some acting scout who saw him at the Pakistani bodega two miles off campus. The only reason he was there was because he had a huge crush on one of the stock boys. The scout only stopped in that particular place because she knew she could get a bottle of Yoo-Hoo there. Apparently, her cousin had grown-up in this area of the east coast but moved to California. California is a Yoo-hoo-less part of the country.
Regardless, Alex gets to play a secret love interest to some woman going through menopause. I don’t know if the story line sounds more ridiculous or Alex playing a straight dude. I don’t even know if Alex has ever acted a day in his life. Wait… What am I saying? He’s the original drama queen and the whole world is his stage.
If that isn’t discouraging enough, Veronica was going with him. He convinced the scout that she was his nutritionist. This is the same duo that would share ice-cream sandwiches and Wendy’s chili for breakfast.
Even the girls at Houston Hose were hitting the big time. Sasha didn’t even have to send her resume or transcripts out. She had three finance think tanks approach her hoping she would share her brilliant financial ideas with them for a stint of two years in New York City. Karen, who was high every time I saw her no matter what time of day or night decided to fly the coop and joined the Peace Corp. She’d be leaving for Haiti the day after she had her diploma in her hand. She couldn’t wait.
Then there was me. I worked my ass of for almost four years now and the only major accomplishment under my belt was losing what was under my belt. I couldn’t explain it but I felt like the biggest failure. I wanted to be happy for my friends and look at the bright side but my gut just wouldn’t come out of the knots it was tangled into.
………
I went to Big Stick’s apartment unannounced because I wanted to surprise him since he had just gotten back from his trip to Australia. I took a single white carnation in my hand. I knocked on the door hoping he’d be happy to see me. Inside, I heard a few voices. One was his and one was a female. My heart just sank. Was he cheating on me? I wanted to turn and run and just as I was about to the door opened. He looked at me like I was a Jehovah Witness peddling Watchtower pamphlets. So I took a deep breath.
“Hi, I’m sorry to come by without calling first.” He didn’t even step aside to let me come in. He stood in the door so I couldn’t see in and anyone inside couldn’t see me standing there. That was probably for the best. I had to look ridiculous. Extending my hand with the flower, I continued with what I had rehearsed for fifteen minutes on the way to his place. “I love you and I want to move in together.”
He took the flower but his face remained expressionless.
“Look, Olivia. I appreciate your stopping by. I think we should talk about this but not right now... But… Well, I ‘m a little busy right now. I’ll have to talk to you later.”
“Do you have company?” I asked, not able to control the tears in my eyes. He didn’t even blink.
“Yes, can we talk later?”
I shook my head and ran off down the hallway. I swallowed my pride, ate crow, came back on my knees practically, and this was what I got for my efforts. I never felt more humiliated in my whole life. Back at the apartment I spilled my guts. I told Jess everything. I told the girls at Houston House while cooking and eating four different pies. Then I told my mom. She was the only one who surprised me.
“Well, honey. Sometimes if you love something you have to let it go. And if it doesn’t come back to you, it was never yours to begin with.”
She missed her calling as a Hallmark card writer or perhaps creating fortune cookie fortunes.
………
The night before graduation was insanity. There were parties everywhere. I followed Jess to one of the Frats’ for old time sake. We had some jungle juice and I told her I would visit her in Wisconsin as long as it was in the summer. I hear Wisconsin winters can suck. She agreed and then proceeded to find two studly frat boys who were more than interested in helping me get over my broken heart. As usual, I left the party early and found my way to the park bench Big Stick and I had shared on our second date. I sat quietly and looked around. The air was warm and all the sounds of the people and music brought me back to the debutants ball and making love with Big Stick in his car. My heart hurt but I wished him the best in my mind and wiped away one tear that managed to sneak out of the corner of my eye. Besides, tomorrow was graduation and whether I had a gig or not, I did have a future. I just didn’t know what it was going to hold for me.
“Hi.”
I jumped and reached for my purse. College campuses weren’t always known for their safety so I had my mace in my hand before I could say ‘Amen’ and was ready to defend my own honor. But, I let out a deep breath as I saw a familiar silhouette.
“What are you doing here? I almost maced you.”
“I lost something and I was retracing my steps hoping I might find it.”
“Did you find it?” I asked, starting to tear up.
“Yeah. I had come to this park about three years ago. I thought it was a long shot but, thankfully, here it is. Whew! I thought I had lost my heart forever.”
Big Stick came and stood right in front of me. Looking up at him I just started to cry.
He took a deep breath. “I do need to tell you something. That night you stopped by, my ex-girlfriend was over.”
It felt like all the oxygen had suddenly left the park. I couldn’t breathe. My mind stopped thinking and I waited for the hammer to come down right on top of me.
“Her husband is a jeweler. I needed her help picking this out.” He placed a little velvet box in my hand.
“After I talked to your parents I spoke with her and…”
“What? You spoke to my parents?”
“Well, of course. I had to ask for their blessing. How do people normally propose?”
Shaking my head I didn’t even know what to say. Again, it felt like there was no oxygen and my brain was completely shut down.
“Are you going to open it?” I opened the box. I couldn’t tell you what it looked like at that moment. It didn’t matter. What I said mattered. “Yes… I do Big Stick…”