Pleasure Point: The Complete Series

by Evans, Jennifer

And if you’re reading this, it means that you’re safe with Jax. I am so sorry that I waited so long to tell you about him, but I was ashamed of what had happened, and I thought I was doing the right thing by running away. If I learned anything in this life, baby, it’s that we can’t run away. We all have to face whatever life gives us and try to make the best of it.

  When I moved back to Point Loma when I was thirty, I was so happy to have what felt like a little family with my great friend Lydia, her husband Troy, and their boys, Tyler and Jax. What I wasn’t counting on was that Jax and I would become such wonderful friends, the kind of friends that encompass everything you would ever want in a soul mate—someone you can laugh with, someone who’s got your back, someone who puts your welfare first, who protects you and watches out for you, someone you can look up to who makes you want to be a better person. And when you’re old enough to have a girlfriend, you’ll find out that if you’re lucky enough to meet someone you can love, that person will be not only your best friend, but someone who you want to kiss and kiss and never stop kissing. And that’s what Jax was to me. But he was young. Too young for me. Even though in a lot of ways he was way more mature than I ever was at that age. It was wrong that we had sex, but it wasn’t wrong that I got pregnant with you because of it.

  I pray that you and Jax can forgive me for running away all those years ago because I didn’t know what else to do. I just knew that I couldn’t saddle him with the responsibilities of being a dad when he was only nineteen. And you and I did pretty good on our own for a while, didn’t we? But I do have regrets. I lied to you and thought I was protecting you. I believed that somehow I could erase what I thought were my mistakes and that you and I would just live a happy life, and I would be all you would ever need.

  I was wrong. You needed a dad. And you deserved to be told the truth.

  Jax is a good man. No, Jax is a great man. As the years have gone by, I realized that I could never hope to meet someone so selfless, caring, and loving. That’s why I trust him completely to be your guardian and help guide you through life. The two of you are going to make a great team, and I only wish I were there to hold both of your hands as you experience life together. But not to worry! Jax will be there for you, and I can’t think of anyone else in the entire universe that I would trust more with your precious life.

  I hope you will forgive me.

  I love you, sweetheart.

  Forever and ever,

  Mom

  I folded the letter and tucked it back in the envelope. I was crying pretty bad by then, and of all the things that could’ve been in that box, that was the last thing I expected. My mom had been lying to me my whole life. But I had a dad. I actually had a dad. Was it true? I didn’t know if I was ready to believe it. I wished a big wave would come in right then and just wipe me right off the beach so I wouldn’t have to deal with any of it. But I didn’t want to lose my mom. Why did she write that letter? Was she really that bad off? And then I started flipping through the pages of the notebook, which was filled with her loopy handwriting and entries that started over a year ago.

  September 2014

  Feeling positive about this latest round of chemo treatments. Sucks losing my hair but it’s a small price to pay.

  Eugene learned a new song on his guitar today, one of my favorites from the Love Bone catalog. Damn, he looks so much like Tyler. I just want to hug him and love him and never let him go.

  The diary entries went on with more things having to do with cancer treatment and drugs and the stuff that helped her feel better and what didn’t. It seemed like the only things that helped were her bong and her poppy seed tea.

  December 2014

  It’s the holidays, and that always makes me think of what Jax is doing. From all the stuff I’ve read online, it doesn’t look like he’s serious about anyone. No kids. How does he spend his holidays? I hope Eugene likes the present I got him this year.

  I flipped through the notebook. There were lots of entries, some having to do with people at work and some stuff about me and Leo. I flipped ahead and read a recent entry.

  October 2015

  Just like you see in the movies, my appointment with the doctors today was a complete and total nightmare. They gave me six months to live. I felt like I was going to pass out, and one of the nurses rushed over and supported me, to keep me from falling over. When I was a little better, she gave me some Valium. After I came home and had cried in the shower, I tried to pull myself together before Eugene got home from school and sat at the computer researching the Trinity Program. It’s supposed to have a high success rate with incurable forms of cancer.

  Then there was another entry a few days later.

  October 2015

  I have no choice. I’m going to have to contact Jax. I’m praying that he’ll be receptive because if I don’t make it, he’s the only person in the world who I trust to raise Eugene.

  My whole life was a lie.

  I was bawling by then, and the only thing I could think was that there was no way I could lose my mom.

  I sat there at Mavericks, and the sun came up, the sky looked like pink cotton candy, and the pelicans were diving into the ocean hunting for their breakfast. A man with a shaggy golden retriever threw a stick into the water, which the dog scampered after. He ran back to his owner with his tail wagging and everything seemed kinda normal. Why couldn’t my life be normal? Why couldn’t I trade places with the pelicans or that dog? They never had to worry about things like losing their mom. That made me cry harder. My shoulders shook from sobbing so hard, and the man with the dog looked over at me like he was worried.

  And that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  Jax

  When I fell in love with Rosalyn all those years ago, it felt like I’d been struck by an energizing electric current, one of those things in life that happens without any planning, a stroke of great luck.

  Was it really true? I could hardly believe I was actually in bed with Rosalyn. Our lovemaking was everything I remembered, urgent, sweet, passionate, and hotter than hell.

  I rolled over on to my side, propping myself up on one elbow. It was still dark, with just enough light filtering in the room from the street lamp that I could see Rosalyn’s sleeping body next to mine. I drew in a deep breath of that delicious sandalwood scent and not wanting to wake her, gazed as she snored softly, her luscious lips slightly parted.

  I stroked her hair, wanting to make love to her all day, to forget about the rest of the world, when her eyes blinked open.

  “Morning,” she said with a drowsy smile while stretching her arms luxuriously. “What time is it?”

  “Almost five,” I said.

  “Days start early around here,” she said.

  I leaned in to give her a kiss. I wanted to tell her how much the night had meant to me. I had so many things I wanted to tell her, but she propped herself up and said, “You’ve got to get up before Eugene finds out you’re in here.” She pulled the covers off and gazed at my naked body.

  I held her close for a kiss, my tongue in her soft mouth, her warm, pillowy lips on mine. She kissed me back then pushed me away, laughing. “Maybe we can make out on the beach after Eugene goes to school. I’ll let you feel me up again.” We stared at each other, both of us smiling.

  Rosalyn belted her robe, and I pulled on jeans, going into the kitchen for a glass of water. Rosalyn padded to Eugene’s door and knocked. “Eugene?” When he didn’t answer, she opened the door. “Eugene! Where’s Eugene?” She rushed into his room. “Where is he? His backpack is gone … and … and …” She noticed something on the floor and picked it up. It was a bookmark that had been torn in half. “Oh no! He’s mad at me.” In a panic, she hurried around the small house, checking the bathroom, then bolted onto the front porch. “Where is he?” Frantic tears formed in her eyes. “He’s always … he’s always in bed at this hour.”

  “Maybe he just went out to find Leo,” I said, but then Leo ran out of the kit
chen, dispelling that theory.

  “He’s never gone!” Rosalyn said, her face flushing.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Where is he?”

  “Roz, he’s not gone.”

  “He is!” She ran through the small kitchen and opened the back door. “He’s always here.”

  I didn’t know Eugene’s patterns, but Rosalyn did. I followed her into the kitchen.

  “Rosalyn,” I said, facing her and holding her shoulders. “Look at me and calm down.”

  She shrugged out of my grasp. “Something’s wrong. I knew this was a mistake! My baby! I have to find my baby.” She raced through the small living room and fumbled for her phone. She punched in a number, and when no one answered, she slammed the phone down on the sofa. “God dammit! I knew it was a mistake bringing you here.” I put my arms around her, and she collapsed against me, her tears wet on my chest. She looked at me, those brown eyes desperate. “My baby.”

  Her phone rang, and she snatched it up.

  “Nelson! Where is he?” Rosalyn’s eyes grew wider and more fearful as she listened. “He didn’t say anything to you? … You’re sure? You better tell me if you know something. Let me talk to your dad.” I listened to the one-sided conversation as Rosalyn wept, trying to catch her breath. “Ben, you promise? See what Nelson knows and call me back—those two tell each other everything.” She hung up and said, “I’m calling the police.”

  “Rosalyn,” I said, holding her arms. “We’ll find him. You need to stay calm.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do!”

  Rosalyn paced the small living room, the phone stuck to her ear so hard that the veins on her arms popped out. She hung up the phone, her face white. “They said I should call all his friends and check the neighborhood. Then I can file a report.”

  “Here’s what we’re going to do,” I said, pulling on a T-shirt and shrugging into my jacket. “I’m going to comb the neighborhood. I’ve got my phone right here.” I held the phone up. “You start calling all his friends and stay right here for when he comes back.” I didn’t want to say if he comes back.

  “I’m going with you!”

  “Rosalyn, look at me,” I said, forcing her to face me. “Take a deep breath, make yourself a cup of tea, and try to calm down. We’re going to find him.”

  “I don’t want a cup of tea!” Tears spilled down her face. “If anything happens to him … I don’t know what I’ll do.”

  “Look at me. We’ll find him. He can’t have gone far.”

  “And it’s been raining all night, and he’s probably hungry, and oh God, what are we going to do?”

  “Rosalyn, just wait here. Give me an hour. Call everyone you can think of.”

  She clutched her phone, her hands shaking. “You call me every few minutes, okay?”

  I cupped her face between my hands. Her eyes were already red-rimmed from crying. “We’ll find him.”

  I bolted out of the house, leapt into my truck, and sped off with about an hour left before the sun rose. I had a crazy idea of where Eugene had run off to, but it was a gamble. The way he and Nelson had gone on about surfing big waves, that glint in Eugene’s eyes when he talked about Mavericks, and the way he’d been insistent that he’d figure out a way to get there. He’d even told me they had buses that made the trip. I turned left to head out of Pleasure Point and began the forty-eight mile drive to Half Moon Bay.

  Every few minutes, I’d get a text from Rosalyn asking if I’d found Eugene yet or telling me that she was calling around with no luck.

  Within the hour, I pulled into the town of El Granada and then cruised down the final bumpy road that led to Maverick’s fearsome surf break.

  How bizarre that just a week prior, I’d been in that very parking lot, almost losing my best friend to the ocean. Now I prayed that my instincts were right about Eugene. I parked my truck next to a Ford Pinto where some guy was asleep in the backseat, jumped out of my truck, and slammed the door. The ever-present foghorn greeted me with its melancholy bleat.

  I jogged down the path that led to the ocean just as the sky transformed into a palette of pink, with wisps of white clouds. The beach was a lonely stretch of emptiness except for a man with a Golden Retriever. And then I saw Eugene. I exhaled the breath I’d been holding.

  Eugene sat, staring at the ocean, his backpack next to him. In front of him was a metal storage box. It looked like someone had taken a hatchet to the thing. Eugene’s shoulders heaved and shook with sobs.

  “Hey,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. When he turned around, his face was covered in tears, his eyes red, and his pale skin blotched from the effort of crying. “Mind if I sit down?” He turned his head away. I sat down. We stared at the ocean. “Your mom’s kind of worried about you.”

  The sun rose, and the chill from the gray ocean worked its way into my bones as the seagulls and pelicans made their early morning hunt and dive for breakfast.

  Eugene wiped his nose with the back of his hand and said, “Why’s my mom worried about me now? She doesn’t care.”

  “What you got here?” I said, tapping the box with my foot.

  And that’s when Eugene lost it. He stood up, glared at me, and said, “I don’t need a mom! I don’t need a mom, and I’m gonna find a way … I’ll go live with Nelson if I have to!” He fled down the beach, his legs lightning fast, his dark hair flying in the breeze. Unfortunately for Eugene, I was twice as fast as him, so I caught up to him and seized him in a bear hug. I spun him around.

  “You may not need your mom buddy, but she needs you.”

  He shoved me away, tears streaming down his face. “You’re not my dad! You can’t be my dad! I don’t need a dad. My mom and me …”

  Oh my God, he knows.

  His sobbing fit came in huge, choking breaths as he attempted another getaway. I caught him again, my arms around his shoulders.

  “Stop it! Leave me alone! You’re not my dad.” His fists pounded my chest, and then it seemed like all the fight left him. He collapsed against me, his tears staining the front of my jacket.

  It felt like a forty-foot wave slammed over me. Eugene knew the truth. How was I going to explain something that I barely even knew the details of?

  I reached into my jeans pocket and found a napkin from a fast food restaurant and handed it to him. “Hey. Looks like your face is covered in snot.” He took the napkin and blew his nose hard, looking down at the sand. “I’ll answer any questions you have buddy, but first, I need to call your mom. She’s pretty freaked out right now.”

  I put my arm around Eugene, and we walked back to the spot where his backpack and the metal box waited. Seagulls attacked the backpack, and though they cried out in protest, I waved them away. We sat down, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to call Rosalyn. She picked up before it had a chance to ring.

  “Jax?”

  “I’ve got him. He’s safe.”

  “Oh my God! Where is he? Is he okay? Is he hurt? Does he have a jacket?”

  “He’s fine. Just upset is all.”

  Her voice was frantic. “Where are you? I’m coming there right now.”

  “No, you’re not coming here, Rosalyn. I had a hunch that he was at Mavericks, and here he is.”

  “Mavericks! You mean in Half Moon Bay? That’s fifty miles away. What is he—” she said and then started crying again. “How did he get there? Oh, my God, he could’ve been killed.”

  “I’ll bring him home. We’ll leave in a few minutes.”

  “Let me talk to him,” she demanded.

  “I’m bringing him home after we talk,” I said. “And Rosalyn, he’s got this metal box …”

  That’s when I thought Rosalyn was going to come unglued. “No! Oh no. This is terrible. Jax, you can’t let him open that box.”

  “It’s too late for that.”

  She broke down in sobs.

  “Rosalyn, calm down. He’s safe. We’ll be home in an hour.”

  “Take c
are of my baby. Make sure he’s warm. I’ll see you guys at home.” I hung up.

  Eugene heard the entire exchange.

  “My mom upset?” he said, looking up at me sheepishly. I wasn’t about to start hiding things from him. He had a right to the truth.

  “I guess you could say that. She hasn’t been too honest with you, has she?”

  “Nope.”

  “You’re one tough kid, being out in this storm. How’d you get here anyway?”

  He looked away. “The bus.” I sagged with relief. For a second I thought maybe he’d hitchhiked. The responsibility and worry of being a parent hit me hard.

  “So, you want to talk about what’s in that box?”

  He started hiccupping and crying and handed me the letter.

  I read the letter, barely able to hold back tears myself. When I was done, I carefully folded it and placed it back in the envelope. “Your mom thought she was doing the right thing,” I said, clasping my arms over my legs and looking out to the ocean. “I missed your mom so much when she left, and then she only just got in touch with me last week. Sucks being lied to, doesn’t it?”

  He brushed his hair away from his eyes, looked at me, and nodded. “Why’d she lie to me?”

  “Buddy, I know we’ve got a lot of ground to cover here, but I want you to know that your mom loves you. And I love your mom.”

  Eugene studied me, his eyes puffy, expecting me to go on.

  “It’s got to be a shock finding out you have a dad. Heck, it was a shock for me too, finding out I have a son. If I’d have known about you …” I covered my eyes. “If I’d have known your mom was pregnant, there would’ve been no way I would’ve let her out of my sight. I love her. And I know you and me are strangers in a way.” Eugene looked at me with those green eyes. “You know, when I first laid eyes on you, I couldn’t believe how much you look like my brother. I was mad. I was so mad at your mom for keeping you from me, but I guess we’ve all got to start where we are in life and move forward from there.”