Spy, Spy Away

by Diane Henders

  He pulled a secured phone from his jacket pocket and punched the button. “It’s Kane.” He listened for a moment before saying, “Confirmed,” and hanging up.

  He smiled. “Looks like it’s you and me.”

  I eased out a breath of relief. Thank God. I wouldn’t be completely on my own.

  “So what are we going to do?” I asked.

  Kane frowned. “Standard recon. I’ll be watching for any faces I recognize and keeping my ears open. I expect I’ve been invited because my name flagged somebody’s interest, so that means there should be someone there who recognizes me. You’ve obviously been invited because Parr wants to meet his new informant.”

  “But… I don’t like it that you’ve been invited.”

  “I know you’re used to running your own ops independently,” Kane began, and I detected an edge of hurt in his tone.

  “No, no, that’s not what I meant. What I meant was, I don’t like it that Fuzzy Bunny is interested in you. The only time they heard your name was out at Harchman’s last summer. When you got captured and…” I swallowed a surge of nausea at the horrible memory. “…tortured. What if they’re just setting a trap for you?”

  He gave me a grim smile. “Then I’ll be glad you’re there.”

  I reached across the table to clutch his hand. “Don’t go. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Aydan.” He frowned, withdrawing his hand. “This is my job. You know that.”

  “But…”

  “Do you think I’m happy watching you go into this? But you don’t see me trying to prevent you from going.”

  “Christ, John, I’m not doing it because I want to. I’m scared shitless, and if I had a choice, I’d run so far and so fast-”

  “No, you wouldn’t.” He blew out a short, irritable breath. “Aydan, would you please drop your cover for just a few minutes? I know you’ve been undercover for years. I know you deliberately risked your cover to bring the secret network key to light and eliminate the Knights of Sirius. I know you’ve gone into dangerous situations again and again, and I know you’re an excellent agent because you’re still alive after all this time. Will you please just trust me enough to drop your bookkeeper act so we can plan this mission?”

  I collapsed forward on the table, giving my forehead a couple of despairing thumps against my folded arms. “I can’t,” I mumbled hopelessly to the table. “If you’re expecting me to be anything but a dumb civilian bookkeeper, you’re going to die a horrible death. Please don’t.”

  After a moment of silence, his hand closed gently around mine. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was unfair. You don’t get to be a top agent by dropping your cover every time it’s inconvenient. I…”

  I heard him sit back in his chair, and when I looked up, he was scrubbing his hands through his hair. The grey light from the overcast sky outside emphasized the lines of fatigue carved in his face.

  “I’m having a hard time with this,” he said slowly. “I’ve always agreed in principle with the rules against relationships between agents who work together, and now…” He gave me an imploring look. “I hate the thought of you risking your life. I hate knowing I might not be able to help you. I hate knowing you have to keep secrets from me. I hate having to keep secrets from you.”

  Fear chilled my heart, but I spoke before it could overwhelm me. “Maybe you should tell Dermott we have a conflict and just stay away from the party tonight.”

  “No. That would be worse.”

  “But…”

  “Let’s just plan our strategy.”

  I sagged in defeat. “Okay. Do we admit we know each other?”

  “I think we should definitely admit an acquaintance. It would be implausible that we work in the same building in the same small town without at least having some acquaintance.”

  “True. Okay…”

  “But I don’t want to appear too friendly. If it turns out to be a trap for me, I don’t want you implicated.”

  Icicles of nausea pierced my stomach at the thought. Kane must have read my face, because he squeezed my hand. “It’s unlikely. If they wanted to capture or kill me, they wouldn’t bother inviting me to a party. Silverside is a small town and I’m easy to find. If they haven’t made a move yet…” He shrugged and rose. “I’m going to go and buy some clothes. I brought an overnight bag, but I don’t have a suit jacket with me, and I’m not driving four hours round trip just to get one from home.”

  I groaned and let my head thump down again. “Clothes. Oh, God.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “I take that to mean you need some.”

  “Yeah. I wasn’t planning to spend the night when I came down yesterday. I don’t even have an overnight bag. No shampoo, not even any deodorant.” I chanced a sniff in the vicinity of my armpit. “God. Hibbert told me not to dress like a drug-addicted vagrant. Little did he know.”

  “Do you want me to buy you something?”

  I straightened, hope rising. “Seriously? You would shop for me?”

  “Of course, if you tell me what you need.”

  “Oh, that would be heaven…” I trailed off as thorny reality punctured my bubble. “…shit. You can’t. I need everything. Even if I buy slacks, I can’t wear my hiking boots to a fancy party, and there’s no way you’d be able to buy dress boots without me there to try them on.”

  I slumped again, the last vestiges of optimism sucked out of me at the thought of being forced to shop for party clothes.

  “I hate to say it, Aydan, but I don’t think slacks are going to cut it,” Kane said. “You’ll need a dress.”

  “Oh fuck! Fuck Hibbert and fuck Parr and fuck Fuzzy Bunny right in their pointy ear! It’s thirty below outside, and they want me to freeze my fucking ass off in some fucking little scrap of fabric…” My voice was rising as rapidly as my irritation. Another thought hit me. “Oh, for Christ’s sake! I’ll need makeup and jewellery and a coat and a purse for my gun…”

  “I think the gun’s out, too,” Kane interjected, taking a cautious step backward. “They’ll likely have metal detectors set up.”

  “Well, fine! That’s just fucking fine!” I bellowed. “Who needs a gun? I’ll just rip their fucking nuts off with my bare hands-”

  “Aydan?” Hellhound’s tentative rasp made me whirl around. He braced himself against the door frame as if expecting an assault. “What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, Arnie, I’m sorry.” I sprang up to steer him back to bed. “I didn’t mean to be so loud. Just go and lie down again.”

  “Don’t think so, darlin’. I wanna know whose nuts you’re rippin’ off.”

  “Nobody’s. I’m just tired and cranky and-”

  “Bullshit.”

  I slumped back into the chair, defeated. “I have to go to a stupid party tonight and I have to buy clothes for it. I hate shopping.”

  “An’ the part about guns and rippin’ nuts off?”

  “Just me being cranky because I can’t take my gun.”

  “Don’t like the sound of that, darlin’.”

  “Me neither.” I rose again to shepherd him in the direction of the bedroom. “Come on. John’s going to go out and buy his clothes, and then he’ll come back and stay with you...?” I shot an interrogative glance at Kane and he nodded. “…while I go and buy my things,” I finished. “We can ask Miss Lacey to stay with you while we’re at the party.”

  “I don’t need a fuckin’ babysitter,” Hellhound growled. “If nothin’ happens to me by the time ya leave, it ain’t gonna happen this evenin’. I wanna know more about this party that ya can’t take your gun to.”

  “I know; what kind of a lousy party is it if you can’t bring your gun?” I joked, still jockeying him toward the bedroom. “See you later, John. We’ll order some pizza or something for lunch when you get back.”

  Kane took the hint and made for the door. As soon as it closed behind him, I turned to Hellhound. “Can we please go to bed now?”

  He brightened. “Hell yeah,
darlin’, why didn’t ya say so?”

  “To sleep,” I added severely as he towed me into the bedroom.

  “Well, shit, that ain’t any fun.” He pulled me closer, nuzzling the sensitive spot near my collarbone and nibbling kisses up my neck. “How about if we sleep afterwards?”

  I shivered and swallowed hard as the tempting tingles radiated downward. “No. What part of ‘no exertion’ did you forget about?”

  He sank onto the bed, pulling me toward him with a teasing grin. “I promise I’ll follow the doc’s orders, darlin’. I’ll just lie here an’ let ya do all the work.”

  “Nice try.” I let him draw me onto the bed beside him, but planted a chaste kiss on his forehead instead of meeting his lips. “Anything that raises your blood pressure is a bad idea. And if your blood pressure doesn’t go up while I’m doing all the work, then I’m doing something wrong.”

  “Ah, darlin’, you’re a cruel woman.” But he settled on the pillow without further argument and in a few minutes his arm slackened around me, his breathing deepening into sleep.

  Chapter 30

  Buzzing startled me awake and I stared in confusion around the unfamiliar room.

  Hellhound stirred beside me. “Call button,” he mumbled, and heaved himself up on one elbow, blinking groggily.

  “It’s okay, I’ll get it.” I rolled off the bed and hurried to the panel. When a tap at the door sounded shortly thereafter, I opened it to eye Kane’s garment bag enviously. “I bet there’s a nice warm wool blazer in there. Which you’ll wear with warm wool slacks and a nice warm shirt and socks and nice comfortable shoes.”

  “Yes.” He grimaced. “Sorry.”

  “Not your fault,” I assured him gloomily. “What do you want to order for-”

  I broke off as he handed over the plastic bag in his other hand. “I got us some Vietnamese noodle soup,” he said. “I wasn’t in the mood for pizza.”

  I hugged the hot bag, my spirits rising. “Fabulous! Have I told you lately how much I love you?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I cursed myself for the fleeting spasm that crossed his face.

  “I’m s…” I clamped my lips shut on the apology and turned away before I could make things worse. “Hey, Arnie, we’ve got pho!”

  “Pho you, too,” he rasped cheerfully as he emerged from the bedroom.

  Replete with a bellyful of spicy goodness, I stared out at the naked tree branches clawing the bleak grey clouds. Wind moaned through the snow-covered balcony railing, and I contributed a dismal moan of my own.

  “God, I don’t want to do this.” A glance at the two men who risked their lives on a regular basis made hot shame push me to my feet. “But I guess I’d better get at it,” I finished with my best simulation of a positive attitude. “See you guys later.”

  “See ya, darlin’. Good luck with your shoppin’,” Hellhound rasped.

  “Drive carefully,” Kane added. “The streets are getting slippery.”

  “Great.” I shoved my feet into my boots and yanked on my shabby old parka. “Just great.”

  I debated my options while I swept the snow off my car and huddled in the driver’s seat waiting for the windshield to defrost. If I called my friend Nichele, the burden of decision-making would be lifted and I could simply hand over my credit card while she dressed me.

  A wave of wind-driven snow hissed against the window, and I growled and hunched deeper into my parka. Really not in the mood for light conversation. Kicking the shit out of something, maybe. Shooting a big gaping hole in a target, definitely. Social contact?

  No.

  I growled again and jammed the shifter into gear.

  Shopping when I didn’t give a shit turned out to be remarkably liberating. I presented my surly self to a department-store clerk and offered her fifty dollars to find me comfortable fashion boots and an outfit to go with them, as fast as possible, price no object. Though the final ensemble wasn’t remotely like anything I would have chosen, it fit and flattered, and more to the point, the process was quick. I blitzed the lingerie department for some clean underwear, then whipped out my credit card.

  The blood drained from my body at the final total, but I kept up an impassive façade. Dermott could stick the bill up his ass, and I hoped he got paper cuts in the process.

  A rapid foray into the drugstore furnished me with some toiletries and I fled the mall only an hour and a half later, laden with bags.

  Hellhound let out a slow whistle when I emerged from the bathroom at seven-thirty. “Jesus, darlin’, ya clean up nice. Ya look like a million bucks.”

  I grimaced. “Over a thousand, anyway. The expense department is going to have a collective coronary.”

  “Just give ‘em a picture of ya in that outfit an’ they’ll figure it was worth every penny.”

  I tugged morosely at the short skirt. “I doubt it. They’re female.”

  “Hm. Guess I better show ya some appreciation, then. Dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it.” He pulled me into a kiss, his lips tasting mine with sensuous slowness. A small moan of pleasure escaped me and he deepened the kiss, sending molten hunger coursing through my veins. His hand slid down to the hem of my skirt as I pressed closer.

  “Sure like those boots an’ stockin’s, darlin’,” he growled. “An’ I bet ya got nothin’ but one of your little bitty thongs under there.” He rumbled satisfaction when his roving hand confirmed his surmise.

  I sucked in a breath as his touch ignited a need that threatened to immolate my common sense. “God, Arnie…” I groaned and pulled away. “You know I can’t. In the first place, I have to leave in five minutes, and in the second place, you shouldn’t exert yourself.”

  He stepped closer. “Darlin’, if I can’t put a smile on your face in less than five minutes without breakin’ a sweat, I’m losin’ my touch.” His lips claimed mine again while his hand slipped under my skirt.

  He was in no danger of losing his touch. Minutes later, I braced myself against him, my knees trembling. “Now look what you did,” I panted. “My lipstick’s all messed up.”

  He grinned. “So are your panties.”

  “Yeah, and you look really sorry about that.” I returned his grin and reached up to kiss him one more time. “I have to go.”

  His arms wrapped around me. “Ya still got time for another. Kane ain’t here yet.”

  “He’s not coming. He was going to change at home and go on his own. We didn’t want to arrive together.”

  He sobered and released me. “Okay, darlin’. Ya comin’ back here tonight, or goin’ home with Kane?”

  I leaned toward the mirror to repair my lipstick, glad he would credit the sudden tremor in my hands to post-orgasmic bliss instead of the pre-party terror I’d been holding back by pretending nothing bad was happening.

  I held my voice steady. “I’ll be back. How’s your head? Are you sure I can’t call Miss Lacey?”

  “Fine. I ain’t dizzy anymore, an’ the headache’s gettin’ better.” He shot me a wicked look. “I know what’d fix my headache.”

  “Well, it might fix the ache in one head,” I teased. I touched his forehead. “Probably wouldn’t help this one, though.”

  “Darlin’, if the little head’s happy, the big head’s happy.”

  “Uh-huh.” I blew him a kiss, hiding my renewed surge of fear at the thought of leaving his warm, safe apartment. “Get some rest. You’re going to need it when you’re healed up enough to play again.”

  “Promises, promises.”

  “And… Arnie… if I don’t make it back tonight, call Dermott, okay?”

  His smile vanished. “Who’s Dermott?”

  “Acting director. Stemp’s away.”

  “How long d’ya want me to wait?”

  I hesitated. How long would I have to stay? What if things went terribly wrong from the start? My guts twisted into burning knots at the memory of Kane’s ravaged body dangling from chained wrists.

  But if everything wa
s going well, having a rescue team show up for no reason would be equally disastrous. Assuming Dermott even bothered to send a team. Maybe he’d just write us off as collateral damage. After all, I wasn’t irreplaceable anymore.

  I blew out a shaky breath. “I don’t know. Give me until four A.M.”

  “Okay.” He pulled me into a tight embrace. “Come back safe, Aydan.”

  “I will.” I slipped out the door before I could dissolve into a puddle of terror in the middle of his floor.

  The long drive through dark and slippery streets did nothing to calm my nerves. By the time I parked in the hotel’s parkade, my hands were icy and bloodless on the wheel and a tension headache pounded at the base of my skull.

  And I had no gun.

  The absence of its familiar weight made me feel naked and helpless. If somebody attacked me, what the hell was I going to do? Give them a vicious tongue-lashing and hope they’d burst into tears and run away?

  I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and switched to yoga breathing. I’d be fine. I had only carried a gun for five months. I had been all right before that. Got the shit kicked out of me a few times, but…

  I firmly diverted my mind from that unhelpful thought. Dammit, why didn’t I have super-ninja skills like Kane? He was just as lethal unarmed as he was with a gun.

  Of course, now the Department thought I was that lethal, too.

  Shit.

  But I’d be fine.

  Really.

  I groaned and got out of the car. Screw positive self-talk. I summoned bad attitude and foul temper instead, and stalked to the elevator.

  The hotel lobby was crammed with bejewelled evening gowns and starched penguin-suits. I sidled along the perimeter, wishing I could vanish into the wallpaper. Goddamn Hibbert for not mentioning this was a black-tie event. For once in my life I was fashionably dressed, but formal was definitely beyond the scope of my outfit.

  I clenched my teeth and followed the signs for the Crystal Ballroom. Shit, the name alone should have been my first clue.