A Child's Christmas Boxed Set: Sugarplum HomecomingThe Christmas ChildA Season For Grace

by Linda Goodnight

  “Sometimes pretending is fun,” Lana said, kindly.

  Nathan’s earnest, innocent eyes raised to hers. “Can I pretend you’re my mommy?”

  Davis thought his heart would stop beating. Ever since some kid at school had asked him why his mother left, Nathan had craved the one thing Davis could not be. But his innocent blunder was both embarrassing and unanswerable. He’d put Lana in a tough spot and Davis didn’t know how to help, especially after Thanksgiving. He still wondered why she’d invited them on today’s outing. Surprised but glad.

  Sorry, he mouthed over Nathan’s head. Inside he was praying she wouldn’t break his son’s heart, that she’d somehow let the little guy down easy.

  In her snug jeans and brown fitted coat with glossy hair around her shoulders, Lana bent to cup Nathan’s chin. “You are such a fine boy. Any woman would be honored.”

  Nathan looked from Lana to Davis, face twisted into a question mark. “Does that mean okay?”

  His cute response broke the tension and both adults chuckled. A sudden lightness filled Davis’s chest, and he felt relieved and grateful to the woman. Lana had done more than let Nathan down easy. She’d let him in.

  He placed a hand on Nathan’s shoulder and squeezed.

  “Just like Santa Claus. We’ll pretend for today.” He wanted Nathan to have good memories of Christmas. The boy would learn soon enough that life—and love—were more complicated than a game of pretend.

  With excited whoops, the children rushed ahead, climbing onto the train platform, not waiting for the adults. Miss Evelyn—aka Mrs. Santa—welcomed them. Uncle Digger disappeared inside but his ho-ho-ho echoed out into the late afternoon.

  “Up you go.” Davis put his hand beneath Lana’s elbow as she took the first step, more because he wanted to touch her than because she needed help. “Thanks for the way you handled that,” he said. “I’ll have a talk with Nathan.”

  “He’s just a little boy, Davis. He doesn’t understand there is more to getting a mother than brown hair.”

  Davis gave a short huff. That was an understatement. Still, he was grateful to her. “Missed you at church this morning.”

  “It’s nice to be missed.” She didn’t offer an explanation and before he could ask, she gasped. “Look at this place.”

  He did. The interior of the old train had been turned into a Christmas spectacular. Bright red stars and huge snowflakes dangled from a rounded ceiling festooned with lighted garland. The side posts looked like red-and-white peppermint sticks. Swags of shiny tinsel dipped from one side of the car to the other. More silver tinsel had been roped along the backs of the seats and topped with bright red bows. Christmas music seeped through the speakers, quiet but cheery. It was an over-the-top wonderland of Christmas, missing only the snow and presents.

  “I’ve ridden the train before during the fall foliage tours, but this is something.”

  Lana lifted her nose and looked around. “Do you smell cinnamon?”

  He took a long sniff, filling his lungs with a smell that reminded him of Mom’s Christmas cookies. “I think it’s coming through the vents. Nice touch.”

  “It’s making me hungry for a cinnamon roll!” Lana said with a laugh, her eyes sparkling. She looked fresh and pretty and full of joy today. He liked the look. In fact, he liked a lot of things about Lana Ross and unless his male radar had gone completely bust, she liked him, too. They got along great, could talk about anything and they liked each other’s kids. So why did she push him away every time he ventured near?

  The cars were filling rapidly and the same gush of excited pleasure escaped from many of the riders as they found their seats. Miss Evelyn and Uncle Digger had outdone themselves and the trip hadn’t even begun.

  Davis and Lana followed the children, coming to rest in the center of the car with the kids in a front seat and the two adults behind. Davis was certain the three munchkins had intentionally maneuvered him and Lana into sharing a seat. He had to admit sitting next to Lana in a seat built for the smaller bodies of 1920’s riders was pretty cozy. Their shoulders brushed and Lana’s flowery fragrance messed with his head. And when she turned her head the tiniest bit, they were as close as a whisper.

  While he was enjoying the attraction, Uncle Digger’s voice came over the intercom calling, “All aboard for the Christmas Express!” The train lurched once before slowly chugging out of the depot. “Settle back and enjoy the ride, folks. We’re on our way to the North Pole!”

  “North Pole!” A wide-eyed Paige squealed and grabbed Sydney in a mutual little-girl hug. “North Pole!”

  Nathan, crammed against the window, whipped around. “Dad, guess what? We’re going to the North Pole. Right now!”

  Davis’s mouth lifted. “So I heard. I’m sure glad we brought our coats.”

  “Yeah.” His boy looked from Davis to Lana. “You can snuggle up if you get too cold.”

  Davis laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Snuggling with Lana sounded pretty good, if he thought about it. Which he did. “Look out the window, buddy.”

  Easily distracted, the excited boy whipped around and pressed his face into the window. Rings of vapor clouded the pane. He swiped at them with his coat sleeve and watched the town slip away.

  Miss Evelyn and her helpers, all appropriately dressed in elf attire, moved through the cars handing out candy canes and programs.

  Lana took out her camera and said, “I should get some photos. Will you excuse me?”

  “What? No snuggling?” he teased.

  She stuck a finger in his face. “You have to wait until we reach the North Pole. Remember?”

  Her lighthearted reply tickled him. He stood to let her out of the seat, grinning when she leaned around to face the kids, camera at the ready. “All right, you three, say cheese.”

  The children hammed it up, giggling, crossing their eyes and poking out pink tongues. Laughing, too, Lana snapped and snapped before moving on to other children in their car, taking the time to gather names and permission. He watched her, interested in the genuinely nice way she had about her. Lana had changed a lot in her years away. The name was the same but the woman wasn’t.

  The classic song, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” came through the speakers. Lana began to bebop toward him, mouthing the words.

  He thought about her music and knew she missed it. On Thanksgiving she’d played the guitar and sang with the children in her rich mezzo-soprano voice. Her gift was meant to be shared whether she was a big star or not. Though she claimed stage fright, he couldn’t stop thinking there was more, something she hadn’t told him.

  Lana had secrets.

  Suddenly, she stuck the camera in his face and before he could recover from the shock, she pressed the shutter button.

  “Hey!”

  “My boss likes lots of photos and so do the readers.”

  “The only person who will like that one is my mother.”

  “There you go then. One happy reader.” Full of energy and Christmas cheer, she scootched him with her shoulder and hip, pushing him to the inside of the seat. The mountains outside the window were brown and bare except for the glades of deep green pines and cedar. Occasionally a vivid red cardinal flitted through the trees.

  “I want to sit with you, Daddy,” Nathan said after a while. Davis wasn’t surprised. His boy had never been good at long-distance rides.

  Lana patted the tiny space between them. “Come on back. We’ll make room.”

  Crawling over the girls, he came, crowding into the narrow spot.

  “Tired of riding, little man?” Lana asked.

  “Yeah.” Candy cane in his mouth, he leaned against her, slowly inching down as if to put his head in her lap. Davis considered stopping him but Lana didn’t seem to mind.

  She gathered Nathan close as if holding Davis’s growing eight-year-old was the natural thing for her to do. When Nathan grew too warm, she helped him with his coat, murmuring something in his ear that made him smile around t
he peppermint stick.

  Davis’s insides clenched. His children adored Lana and she treated them with such tender consideration it took his breath. She was good for them. There was nothing sweeter to a dad than knowing a woman cared about his children.

  They’d ridden a while when Miss Evelyn announced a sing-along and familiar Christmas songs filtered through the speakers. Nathan sat up then, candy cane still in his mouth to sing “Jingle Bells.” The elves came through the car handing out bell bracelets for the children to shake. And shake them, they did!

  Paige whipped around in her seat and, above the noise said, “Sing, Dad. Sing, Lana.”

  Davis obliged, pleased when Lana’s husky voice joined in. The sound really was rough honey, flowing over him sweet and thick with a touch of gravel that raised goose bumps on his arms.

  When the song ended, he leaned toward her. “Your voice knocks me out. You still love to sing, don’t you?”

  “I do. I shouldn’t. I promised God I’d lay it down if He’d—” She stopped again and shook her head. “Never mind.”

  “If He would do what?”

  A beat passed and he could see the wheels turning in her head. Would she lie to him or share a little glimpse of herself?

  “If He would change my life. And He did.”

  “Do you really think God doesn’t want you to use your talent?”

  “It was the only thing I had to trade.” She dropped her gaze to Nathan’s shirt collar. Davis caught her hand, pulled her around to face him. “You think the stage fright came from God?”

  “No. Maybe.” She heaved a heavy sigh and moved her hand back to Nathan. “I don’t know where it came from, Davis, but my life is better now. Sharing my music with strangers is behind me. I’m happy.”

  If that was true Davis had made a mistake that could come back to bite him.

  “Deck the Halls” broke out over the gathering, led by a slightly off-key but no less enthusiastic Miss Evelyn. Davis dropped a friendly arm around Lana’s shoulders and hugged. “Then make me happy, too. Sing. Sing like nobody’s listening.”

  So she did. As the music fell from their lips, Paige looked over one shoulder to listen. Seeing Davis with his arm around Lana, she punched Sydney. Both girls turned to grin. Above the music, Sydney pumped her fist and proclaimed, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

  Chapter Twelve

  The North Pole proved to be every bit as exciting as the train ride.

  Though enjoying the pleasure of Davis’s company too much, Lana let herself go with the moment for the sake of the children. They were having such a grand time. Hadn’t she told Nathan that today they could pretend all they wanted? She could pretend she wasn’t the town party girl and that she deserved the attention of a good man like Davis. She could even pretend that Sydney was her daughter and neither would ever again have to worry about the authorities taking her away.

  By the time the train stopped in what she knew was another small town over the mountains, the sun had set. They disembarked beneath a giant sign proclaiming The North Pole, where a wonderland of light displays circled a small man-made lake. Halfway around the walking track, on the opposite side of the glistening water, a warming hut painted in bright colors was labeled Santa’s Workshop.

  “Oh, this is perfect,” she murmured and started toward the winding trail. “Look, kids, you can write letters to Santa.”

  “Wait!” Nathan’s urgent voice stopped her in midstride. He grabbed Lana, tugging her back to Davis’s side. Then, he pulled them closer until they’d clasped gloved hands.

  “There. That’s better.” The little guy was persistent. She’d give him that.

  She glanced at Davis who shrugged, his eyes twinkling as with merriment. “Can’t argue with pretend.”

  Right. Pretend. She could do that. She let herself enjoy the strength of Davis’s gloved hand.

  Nathan insisted on holding Lana’s other hand and Davis reached out to Sydney, an act that made the child light up brighter than the light displays. On the far end, Paige grabbed onto her new best friend, and all five of them were connected by a bridge of fingers.

  “This is nice,” she said, meaning it.

  They looked like a family, strolling through the displays, exclaiming over the animations. A happy family.

  Waving elves and a blinking Rudolph gave way to whimsical displays by businesses. Nathan giggled at an animated toothbrush sponsored by a dentist and at the Elvis-Santa driving a car from the local dealership.

  With their cheeks and noses rosy cold, they stopped at a nativity set up by a local church. There they were serenaded by a group of carolers, bundled against the cold to sing along to a portable stereo. Lana snapped more photos, committing the scene to memory. How would she ever put all this into one article? When she replaced the camera in her tote, Davis took her hand again. She let him.

  The evening was beautiful, cold and clear, the kind she’d dreamed of where a mother and father took their children out to make Christmas memories.

  A silly dream but as sweet as the peppermint on her tongue.

  When their toes began to tingle, they stopped inside Santa’s Workshop to warm up. Here the children scribbled letters to Santa before sliding them into a big red mailbox marked S. Claus.

  All too soon, the train whistle announced the time of departure. The children groaned. Lana felt like doing the same. Like Cinderella at the ball, her time with Prince Charming was drawing to a close.

  “Too much fun,” Davis said, smiling at the dejected trio of children.

  “Can we come back again?” Even Paige’s snazzy freckles lost their cheer.

  Davis’s gaze found Lana’s. “Maybe,” he said, sending a wild root of hope shooting through her heart.

  She was being ridiculous and she knew it. When she got home, she’d remind herself of all the reasons she was not good for Davis and his kids. But not now, not when the evening had become nothing short of a fairy tale.

  With light hearts and more protests from the children, they moved with the crowd back onto the train. The kids were tired. The excitement had taken a toll. They crowded into their seat, quieter but still talking about the wonders of the light displays.

  After the train rolled on again, chugging smoothly through the deep forest and over Blackberry Mountain toward Whisper Falls, a pair of elves passed out foam cups of hot chocolate loaded with mini-marshmallows. The overhead lights dimmed, bathing everyone in shadows. Toward the front of the car, Miss Evelyn sat under a spotlight on a high stool and read a Christmas story. Lana suspected the elves read similar stories in the remaining cars.

  The rocking of the train and Miss Evelyn’s story lulled the passengers, including herself. More than one woman leaned her head on the shoulder of the man beside her. Lana was tempted to do the same.

  The semilit car created an air of privacy as though dozens of other people weren’t sitting nearby. She felt cocooned between the cool window and the warm, masculine man.

  Mellowed by the thoughts, she sipped at her cocoa, the taste sweet on her tongue.

  “Mustache,” Davis murmured, leaning close enough to make her pulse misbehave.

  “Hmm?” she asked, head tilted toward him.

  In the shadows he leaned closer, grinning. He touched her upper lip. “Marshmallow mustache.”

  “Oh.” Before she could raise her hand to clear it away, Davis touched his lips to hers. Tender, sweet and over too quickly.

  “I think I got it for you.” His grin had become a gentle, quizzical smile. His eyes held questions though Lana had no adequate answers.

  “Great.” She touched her mouth, breathless. One very innocent, friendly kiss and she could hardly think straight.

  “Let me know if I didn’t.” He winked. “Or better yet, have another drink.”

  Have another drink. The old familiar phrase meant something different in Lana’s world than marshmallow-laden cocoa.

  She’d had too many drinks too many times with too many diff
erent men. Though she’d not touched alcohol for nearly two years, she couldn’t forget what it had done to her.

  She squeezed Davis’s arm in an apology he would never understand and turned to stare out at the passing night.

  * * *

  “Hey.”

  Not this time. This time she talked to him. If she was going to shut him down, she was going to give him a reason.

  Davis took Lana by the shoulder and gently tugged.

  She turned her head, her hair swishing against her sweater, her eyebrows lifted in question. “Hmm?”

  “What’s going on? You invited me on this trip. We’ve had a terrific time. At least I have. I thought you were enjoying yourself, too.”

  “I am.”

  “Then what’s the deal? Why do you disappear like that?”

  Her head tilted. “Did I?”

  He gave an annoyed sigh. “Are you intentionally trying to frustrate me?”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. I like you, Lana. You know I do. I’m a guy. You’re a girl. It’s only natural that I’d want to kiss you.”

  She closed her eyes as if his words were too hard to hear. Her rusty voice sounded small and tired. “I like you, too.”

  “Good.” He pulled her unresisting hand into his. “Let’s start over then. I like you. You like me. Life is good.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Then explain it to me because I must be slow. Maybe I’m too dumb or out of practice to get the message when a woman is giving me the brush-off.” He sounded testy, even to himself. So, okay, he was testy. She was making him crazy.

  “I’m not trying to... Today has been—” she searched for the words, staring around the darkened train “—a beautiful dream.”

  His anger dissolved, fizzled, died. “For me, too. You, me, these kids. Pretty special stuff.”

  “Yes.” The affirmation was a mere breath but he heard it.

  He heard something else. too, a yearning that was answered deep in his heart. At that moment, he thought he understood. “You’re scared.”