“It was stolen,” she said. “Miles let me borrow his.”
I looked up in surprise. “What is with our family? I can’t believe you were robbed, too.” I looked at the car again. “I thought you said you’d never be caught driving anything but a BMW or Mercedes.”
She didn’t respond.
“Dani, I didn’t know you were here,” Momma said.
“I was just spending some time with my nieces,” she said.
“You guys ready?” Momma asked, walking outside.
“Yeah,” I said.
Aunt Dani frowned. “Aren’t you gonna shower or something? You’ve been playing ball, so I know you’re funky.”
“Dani, she’s fine,” Momma said.
I smiled my thanks. It wasn’t not like Cory and I had been playing a serious game.
We all piled into Momma’s car and headed to eat. Bree had been to Johnny Rockets a couple of times before, and she had told me the burgers were good, and she was right. After we finished eating, we decided to drive to the Galleria.
I was surprised when Aunt Dani didn’t buy anything. Usually she had to leave every store with at least one purchase, but that day she just looked at stuff.
I stopped looking at jewelry and just watched her for a while as she checked out some gold hoop earrings. She really was pretty.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asked.
“My aunt Dani is growing up,” I said, feeling like my momma.
She just laughed at me. “What?” she said, sounding slightly puzzled.
“Miles is good for you,” I said. “You seem to be changing for the better.”
She wore this stupid grin. “Yeah, I guess a good man will do that for you.”
“We should all hang out together….” I caught myself. Allen had been released a few days earlier, but I hadn’t spoken to him. I just assumed Allen and I were no longer together. I had thought about calling him a few times, but my daddy had told me not to. It’s not that I really listened to him, but something in me just couldn’t make that call to see if Allen was okay.
“You miss him, don’t you?” Aunt Dani asked.
I just nodded. Suddenly I felt like crying. I had waited a long time to date and to find someone who loved me, and now that I had, it was all falling apart. I mean, Allen had done a lot of things I didn’t really agree with, but I believed he was a good guy. Any time he put his hands on me, he always apologized. Maybe he just didn’t know how to treat women. I mean, his mom wasn’t really around, so he probably didn’t know any better.
“Girl, don’t let that man get you down.” Aunt Dani leaned over and gave me a hug.
I nodded again, scared that if I spoke, I would really start crying.
She walked away from the earrings and glanced down at a watch in the display case.
“Now, that’s nice,” she said, admiring the diamonds that decorated its face. She called the salesperson over, then after trying on the watch and debating for a few seconds, she pulled out her American Express card.
The salesperson came back a few minutes later empty-handed, and Aunt Dani looked around for her watch.
“Ma’am, do you have another card you’d like to use? The charge isn’t going through.”
Aunt Dani looked at her like she was crazy. “What are you talking about? It’s an American Express. There’s no limit on it. Try it again.”
The woman started to say something, but turned toward the cash register. We watched as she keyed in some numbers, swiped the card, then tapped her foot while waiting for the transaction. A few minutes later she slid the card across the counter. “I’m sorry. It didn’t go through. Perhaps you need to call the company.”
“This is ridiculous,” Aunt Dani said. I was embarrassed, so I tried not to look at her.
“Come on, let’s go.” We headed out the door toward the middle of the mall. As we walked out, the security alarm began blaring, like it was signaling what had just happened. Aunt Dani and I looked up in surprise, since we obviously hadn’t bought anything.
“Come on,” Aunt Dani said. “Those things get on my nerves.”
She grabbed me, trying to pull me through the door, but I stopped. “Wait. We need to at least let them check us. I don’t want them to think we’re trying to steal anything,” I said as a salesclerk walked over.
“I don’t know why it went off,” I said.
“It’s been doing that all day,” she said, sighing. “It must have some type of malfunction. You guys didn’t buy anything, right?”
I shook my head.
“Go ahead,” she said, waving us through.
“That was so embarrassing,” I said as we headed toward the food court. I thought about my words as soon as I said them, and I hoped she didn’t think I was talking about her card being declined.
“Wasn’t it?” Aunt Dani said. “That’s why I told you to come on. Did you see those people staring at us?”
“I tried not to look,” I admitted.
I headed over to Chick-fil-A. “What are you going to get?” I asked.
“Didn’t you eat right before we got here?” she said.
“Yeah, but I want a snack.” Lately I found myself eating more and more, and I tried not to think about the fact that I had gained a few pounds. I figured I would work it off at practice at some point.
“What are you getting?” she asked, wrinkling her nose.
“Probably just a chicken sandwich and some lemonade,” I said. “You don’t like Chick-fil-A?”
“What is it?” she asked with her lip still turned up.
“Chicken—actually, it’s the best chicken I’ve ever tasted. They do nuggets, strips and sandwiches, and I don’t know how they do it, but all of them taste different. I can’t believe you’ve never had it.”
“Well, I guess I’ll try it,” she said, still not looking convinced. She reached in her purse. “Oh, man, all I brought with me was my AmEx card. I’ve got to call them,” she muttered.
“It’s cool. I got you,” I said. “Let me call Momma and Cory to see what they want. You know they are probably still in the video game store.” I reached in my purse for my cell phone and as I pulled it out, a brand-new pair of earrings—the exact pair Aunt Dani had been looking at—dropped on the floor.
My mouth fell open in shock as she scooped them up off the floor.
“Corky, what are you doing with these?” she asked.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Did you steal these?” she asked.
I could only shake my head. Finally I forced myself to speak. “I don’t know where they came from,” I said.
She laughed. “Girl, please. I was young once. You better be glad it was me who saw these and not your mother.”
“Seriously, Aunt Dani, I don’t know where they came from. I didn’t take them.”
“Then how did they get in your bag?” she asked, and I shrugged.
She sighed. “I guess we need to take them back.”
My eyes got really big. I didn’t even want to think about what the salesclerk would say when I took the earrings back to her.
Aunt Dani must have read my thoughts. “I tell you what—I’ll take them back.”
“Thank you,” I said, relieved. I was still trying to figure out how the earrings had gotten in my purse as Aunt Dani walked toward the store. I replayed the scene in my mind, trying to recall if I had accidentally brushed against the counter, causing the earrings to fall into my purse, but I didn’t remember doing that.
The one thing that did come to mind was when Aunt Dani hugged me.
I really didn’t have time to give it a whole lot of thought because I looked up to see Allen heading toward me.
I tried to ignore the way my heart sped up.
Aunt Dani spotted him the same time I did. I watched as she went over and wrapped herself around his arm, and they spent a few minutes laughing and talking before Allen looked up and found me staring at him. I tried to play it off, but when I look
ed at him again, he was grinning, and I couldn’t help but grin, too.
By silent agreement, we started walking toward each other, and it was like everyone else in the mall disappeared.
“Hey,” Allen said when he was standing directly in front of me.
“Hey,” I said.
“It’s good to see you.”
I looked at the floor and smoothed my hair, trying to figure out how to respond.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I know you miss me, too.” He lifted my chin with his finger. “You do miss me, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“The charges were dropped against me,” he said.
My mouth dropped open. “Really?” I said. Before I could stop myself, I ran into his arms, and he held me tight. It felt so good to be with him again. I gazed into his eyes, and I couldn’t help but kiss him—or maybe he kissed me, I’m not sure. We just got caught up in the moment. It reminded me of the night of our first date when we had gone to the park.
Just like that night, we were rudely interrupted.
“Y’all need to get a room,” Aunt Dani said, doing her version of a Southern accent.
I blushed. Aunt Dani was cool and all, but it still felt strange having her see me give my boyfriend a real kiss. I also remembered Momma and Cory were nearby
I smiled. Allen hadn’t said anything, but I could feel he wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him.
“So, can I take you home?” he asked.
I looked at Aunt Dani to see if it was okay. “I am not getting involved in any mess,” she said. “Corky, you know your parents don’t want you seeing Allen. How are you going to explain him dropping you off?”
I hadn’t really thought about that.
“I can talk to your parents. You know me and your mom are cool,” he said.
“You forget you haven’t been around for a while,” Aunt Dani said. “Things have changed in the Murphy household. Courtland’s parents are acting like they’re in love now, and her father is trying to be involved in her life.”
Allen looked at me for confirmation, and I nodded.
“I’ll just call you later,” he said.
I was worried Aunt Dani was going to tell Momma we had seen Allen at the mall, but she seemed to have other things on her mind. She didn’t say much on the drive home, and I was glad. I was trying to think of how I could see Allen. I knew my parents wouldn’t allow it, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to spend time with him. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to see him much during school, and Momma was back to picking me up after.
“Just sneak out,” Aunt Dani said after Momma and Cory went inside the house.
“Huh?” I said.
“If you want to see Allen, just wait until your parents go to sleep and sneak out.”
“But what if I get caught?” I said.
“Child, please. I’ve been sneaking out for years, and I’ve never gotten caught. Just make sure you’re back before your momma gets up—you know she wakes up before the sun.”
I thought about what she said, and I realized it made sense. My parents would only worry if they knew I was with Allen, but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.
Aunt Dani hung around until everybody went to bed, then the two of us spent some time casing the place. We walked into the bathroom that Cory and I shared, and she pointed to the window in there.
“That’s big enough for you to use,” she said.
I had never really paid the window any attention. “How do you know that?” I asked.
“Girl, I’ve learned to pay attention when I enter anywhere. You never know when you’re going to have to make a fast exit.”
“Do you guys think it’s ever okay to sleep with a guy when you’re not married?” I asked during the Worth the Wait meeting. The question had been running through my mind again the last few days, and I really needed someone else’s opinion.
“Haven’t we had this conversation before?” someone asked.
“So? I want to have it again,” I said. “Do you think it’s okay?”
“Why would you ask that?” someone said.
Bree looked at me, and I shrugged, trying not to glance directly at her, knowing she would know exactly what I was thinking. “I was just curious.”
“If a guy really loves you, then he’ll understand you wanting to wait until you’re married,” Jennifer said. “If he doesn’t, then that’s his problem, not yours.”
“Are you kidding me?” Emily asked. “You sound like somebody’s mother. Nobody thinks like that anymore.” She turned to me. “If you guys really love each other, I don’t see what the problem is. You’re planning on getting married someday, so why wait?”
“She needs to wait because that’s a promise she made to herself,” Bree said, and I realized joining Worth the Wait had changed her way of thinking. Sophomore year she used to talk all the time about losing her virginity. “Who cares what some guy thinks?”
I held up my hands. “Hold up,” I said. “I never said this was me. I was just asking a question.”
“Come on, Courtland. We’re not stupid. We know you’re talking about you and that fine Allen Benson. If I had the chance, I’d take it. He plays ball, too, and you know he’s going pro in a few months. He’s about to get paid.” Emily got this dreamy look on her face. “Think about it. If you had his baby, you’d be set for life with all that money he’s about to make.”
I had just taken a sip of Sprite, and I started to choke. Bree had to beat me on my back for a few minutes before I stopped. “Baby?” I finally managed to say.
Emily grinned and nodded like I had just told her she had won ten million dollars.
“Yes, a baby,” Jennifer said. “That’s one of the consequences that could happen if you sleep with a guy who’s not your husband. Next thing you know, Allen will be running around calling you his baby momma.” She looked at one of the girls in the group who had recently had a baby. “No offense.”
The girl shrugged. “None taken.”
“So are you thinking about it?” Bree asked.
“Maybe,” I said.
“But why?”
“It’s hard to explain,” I said. “It’s one thing for us to make all these vows when we don’t have boyfriends, but when you get one and you’re feeling all these things, it’s hard. I mean, I really like—I mean love—Allen. It’s not like he asks me for a lot. If all he wants is to have sex with me, what’s the big deal?” I reached for my purity necklace, remembering a second too late that I didn’t have it anymore.
“What do you want?” Andrea asked from the doorway.
“I don’t know anymore,” I said honestly. “I thought I wanted to wait until I got married, but it’s really hard.”
“But it’s not impossible,” Bree said. “Don’t let Allen talk you into doing something that you’ll regret.”
“But what if she doesn’t regret it?” Emily said.
“What if she does? It’s not like she can get her virginity back,” Bree argued.
“We’re all going to lose it someday, so what does it matter when it happens?” Emily asked.
“If you feel that way, why are you a member of this club?” Jennifer asked.
“Because I told you, virgins are sexy,” she said.
The room grew kind of silent as we thought about what Emily said. I couldn’t deny the fact that Allen had me feeling a lot of things I hadn’t really expected to feel, despite all that had happened between us.
“So have you thought about what type of birth control you’re going to use?” Jennifer asked.
“Huh?” I asked, looking at her like she was crazy.
“Birth control,” she repeated.
“Why would I need to worry about that? If I decide to do this, I’ll just let Allen pick something.”
“Hello,” Jennifer said, using her fist to knock upside my head. “Is anyone home? Is it just me or did Allen not get charged with rape? I
’ve heard she might be pregnant. That would mean he didn’t use protection, which would mean if you sleep with him, you’re exposing yourself to all kinds of diseases.” She shivered and puckered her face up like she’d eaten a whole pack of sour candy.
I hadn’t heard the girl who had accused Allen might be pregnant, and I told myself it was just a rumor. I had tried not to think about Allen being with other girls, but Jennifer was right. If I decided to sleep with him, I couldn’t leave it up to chance that he would protect me. I was going to have to protect myself.
ten
Momma wasn’t feeling well the next day, so I drove myself to cheerleading practice. Even though I had gotten a car, she still was slow to let me drive places by myself, which didn’t make any sense to me. What was the point in having my own car if I could never drive it? When she called and asked me to stop at Wal-Mart and pick up some Tylenol Cold for her, I found myself staring at the condoms, wondering if I should buy some just in case.
What am I doing? I thought. Allen loves me, and he knows I want to wait until after I’m married to have sex.
I shook my head, then laughed, not believing I was even entertaining the thought of giving up something I treasured. I grabbed Momma’s cold medicine, then got in line.
When I was almost at the register, my cell phone rang, and Boyz II Men’s “A Song for Mama” came blasting through. I grabbed the phone, embarrassed, and pushed the talk button.
“Hey, Momma.”
“Hey, baby. Where are you?”
“I’m at Wal-Mart. I should be home in a few minutes.”
“That’s fine,” she said. “Can you stop and pick us up something to eat? You still have money, don’t you?”
She had given me some money that morning. “Yes, ma’am. Is pizza okay?” I asked, thinking I could pick up a five-dollar pepperoni pizza from Little Caesars.
“That’s fine, baby,” she said, sneezing.
“Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll be home soon,” I said.
“Okay,” she said after a violent cough.
“Get some rest, Momma,” I said.
The Pledge Page 12