The Pledge

by Chandra Sparks Taylor

  “Bree, I told you I don’t want to talk—”

  “I don’t care what you want to do. You’re going to tell me,” she said, sounding like my mother. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Sorry, but seriously, girl, I’m worried about you. Why were you in that man’s car?”

  “You promise you won’t tell anyone?” I asked.

  She looked annoyed. “Since we’ve known each other, have I ever told anything?”

  “No.”

  “Tell me,” she said.

  It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I had been trying to block everything out of my mind. Telling Bree forced me to relive the night before. Before I realized it, I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe, and snot was dripping down my nose.

  Bree walked over and hugged me. “Oh, my God, Courtland. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

  I shook my head. “I got away before he could.”

  “You have to tell someone,” she said.

  I looked at her like she was crazy. “I just did,” I said.

  “No. I mean like an adult. Maybe you should tell your mom,” she said.

  “I can’t do that.” I walked over to the sink, grabbed a paper towel, wet it, then started washing my face. “I wasn’t supposed to be out last night. I snuck out of the house, remember?”

  “You have to tell someone.” She hit the paper-towel dispenser and I jumped. “Sorry,” she said, “but I can’t believe this. Courtland, you can’t let him get away with this. You know what this means, right?”

  “No,” I said. “What?”

  “He probably did try to rape that girl who was pressing charges. I wouldn’t be surprised if he paid her off to save his stupid basketball career.”

  I shook my head, then thought about it. Had Allen really tried to rape that girl? “You really think so?”

  “You don’t?” she said.

  We stood there in silence for a second, then I started changing my clothes, trying to distract myself from my thoughts.

  I had just slipped on my pants when Bree shouted, causing me to trip.

  “I know,” she said. “Talk to Andrea. She’ll know what to do.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. “She probably won’t believe me.”

  “Yes, she will,” Bree said. “She’s always listened to what we have to say.”

  I slipped on my shirt, realizing Bree was right. Andrea had always been open-minded, even when she didn’t agree with our opinions.

  “I’ll think about it,” I said, then got dressed.

  “Bree,” I said, grabbing her arm, “promise me you won’t say anything to anyone, even Nathaniel.”

  “Girl, why are we having this conversation again? I told you I won’t say anything, even though I think you should press charges.”

  “Just promise me.”

  “Okay, okay. I promise.” She gave me a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Me, too.”

  I was headed to the locker room after the pep rally when one of Allen’s friends walked up to me.

  “What’s up, Little Miss Unpure?” he said, and walked off laughing.

  I looked at him like he was crazy and didn’t even respond.

  Cheering had worn me out. I had been up all night and after exerting all that energy for our routine, all I wanted to do was crawl into a bed, but I still had the rest of my classes plus a Worth the Wait meeting. I wanted to keep things as normal as possible. I knew if I skipped the meeting Momma would ask questions.

  “So how was it?” Rene White asked as I was drying off. I tried to keep as much of myself covered as possible, but it was hard with the little towels the school supplied.

  “It was good,” I said, going through the routine in my mind. We had executed all the jumps, and the crowd had been on their feet the entire time.

  “I’ll bet it was,” she said, grinning at one of the other girls.

  “What are you talking about?” I said. “You act like you weren’t there.”

  Rene looked at her friend, and they both burst out laughing.

  “Am I missing something?” I asked.

  “Not anymore,” she said.

  “You know what?” I said, grabbing my lotion from my locker. “I don’t have time for this. Either tell me what you’re talking about or go sit down somewhere.”

  “It looks like Little Miss Worth the Wait decided not to wait after all,” she said.

  “Wait for what?” I said.

  “To give it up.”

  “What?” I whispered, feeling the blood drain from my face. “Who told you that?”

  “I guess it’s true,” Rene said. She looked around the room and stood on top of a bench. “Ladies, I have an announcement to make.” The room quieted down and everyone focused on her. “It seems our team co-captain isn’t so pure after all. She’s just confirmed that she and Allen hooked up last night.” She and a couple of the girls exchanged high fives while Candy looked at me, disappointment shining in her eyes.

  “That’s not true,” I said.

  “Girl, don’t try and play all shy now. You just told me. I don’t know how you held out this long with that fine Allen Benson,” Rene said.

  She and some of the other girls started clapping.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I rushed to put on my clothes, not caring if anyone saw my body, then ran out of the locker room, trying to hide my tears.

  Bree was waiting outside the lunchroom for me, and I couldn’t believe how innocent she looked.

  “How could you?” I asked.

  “How could I what?” she asked in confusion.

  “I told you not to tell anyone. Now all the cheerleaders think I slept with Allen.”

  “I didn’t say anything,” she said.

  “Bree, stop lying,” I said. “How else would they know? You’re the only one I told.” I turned to walk away, not believing my best friend had betrayed me.

  “I’m not lying,” she said, grabbing my arm.

  Before I could stop myself, I turned around and punched her, and the force of the blow caused her to stumble into the nearby trash can.

  I headed toward her, but a hand on my arm stopped me.

  “Courtland, what are you doing?” Nathaniel asked. He pushed me into someone else’s arms, then went to get Bree, who was stuck in the trash can.

  “She told my business to the entire school,” I said, glaring at Bree.

  “No, I didn’t,” she said. “I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

  “So how do people know?” I asked. “You’re the only one who could have told them.”

  “It wasn’t me,” Bree said.

  The person holding me tugged at my arm and I looked up to see Candy. “She’s right, Courtland. It wasn’t Bree. Allen told,” she said. “I overheard him telling a couple of his teammates.”

  I looked around at the faces of the crowd who had started to gather, and when my gaze landed on Bree, I had to look at the ground. Her eye was starting to swell.

  “Bree—” I said, not really knowing what to say.

  Nathaniel put his arm around her and led her through the crowd, and I turned to follow them, but a booming voice stopped me.

  “What’s going on here?”

  I looked up to see Principal Abernathy standing in front of me. He took in me holding my fist and Bree’s eye as she walked past us.

  “You two, in my office now.”

  I had been in Principal Abernathy’s office before, but not because I was in trouble, and as far as I knew, neither had Bree. I sat staring at one of Principal Abernathy’s diplomas while he talked on the phone. When I heard him say my mother’s name, I looked up.

  “Why’d you call my mother?” I asked as soon as he hung up.

  I knew I was being disrespectful, but I didn’t care. This had officially turned into the worst day of my life.

  “Courtland didn’t do anything wrong,” Bree said, and my mouth hung open.
>
  “Well, how do you explain your eye?” Principal Abernathy asked.

  I was wondering the same thing.

  “It’s my fault,” I said.

  “No, Courtland, it’s not. We were just playing around. It’s no big deal.” She shrugged and sat back in her chair.

  I wanted to give Bree a hug. We had been best friends for two years, but at that moment there was no doubt in my mind we would be friends for life. I had taken my anger out on her, and she still had my back.

  Principal Abernathy ran a hand over his semi-bald head. “Bree, are you sure that’s what happened?”

  She nodded and looked him dead in the eye.

  He looked at me. “Is there anything you want to add to this story?”

  I opened my mouth to say no, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had done enough lying in the past twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime. “I punched her,” I said before I lost my nerve. “I thought she had spread a rumor about me, and I punched her.”

  “Courtland,” Bree said, looking at me like I was crazy.

  I turned to her. “Look, I appreciate your having my back, but I’m not going to let you cover for me. Whatever my punishment is, I’m just going to have to deal with it.”

  Bree and I locked eyes, and I guess my determination showed, because I saw admiration in hers.

  “Very well, Miss Murphy. As you know, we have a zero tolerance policy for fighting. You are hereby suspended for three days, during which time you will not be able to participate in any school activities.”

  I nodded, thinking I had gotten off pretty easy, until he spoke again.

  “I’m sure your squad is going to miss you in Orlando.”

  My mouth dropped open. I had forgotten all about our cheerleading competition. “I can’t compete?” I squeaked.

  He shook his head, and he actually seemed as though he felt sorry for me. “I’m afraid not,” he said gently.

  At that, I burst into tears, and I sat there crying until my daddy came to get me.

  I don’t think he had ever been up to my school before. When he saw me crying, he gathered me into his arms and gave me an awkward hug, trying to comfort me.

  We were silent for most of the drive home. “Where’s Momma?” I finally said.

  “She’s still not feeling well.”

  “What’s my punishment?” I finally asked.

  He gave a dry laugh. “I think you’ve been punished enough. I know how much that competition meant to you.”

  I looked up in surprise. “You do?”

  He took his eyes off the road long enough to glance at me. “Yeah. I was going to surprise you and come see you cheer.”

  “You were?” My eyes grew wide with shock.

  He laughed as he came to a stop at a traffic light. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I wanted to see you out there.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just looked out the window.

  “You want to tell me what happened today? Something must have really set you off for you to punch your best friend.”

  Everything in me wanted to break down and tell my daddy what had happened. He hadn’t shown an interest in anything I had done in a long time, and as much as I wanted to share everything that had happened, I knew he would get mad and go after Allen.

  “You know, you really can talk to me,” he said. “I know I haven’t been the best father, and I’m sorry. When that guy broke in our house, it made me realize a few things.” He took a deep breath, then looked me directly in the eyes. “Courtland, I’m an alcoholic.”

  My mouth hung open in shock. Momma had told me the same thing a while back, but hearing Daddy say it was different. “I’ve started attending AA meetings, and I’ve learned that this disease affects more than me. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. I want you guys to know how much you mean to me. That could have been me in that body bag.” He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “It could have been you, your sister or your mother. I don’t know what I would do without you guys.”

  He paused, trying to compose himself.

  I touched his shoulder. “It’s okay, Daddy. Nothing happened to us.”

  The light turned green, but since we were in the police car, people just sat behind us, patiently waiting for us to go.

  “But something happened to me,” he said. “I realized that I want to be a part of you girls’ lives again. I’ve been hiding behind my work and alcohol, using that as an excuse not to get to know you, but I’m tired of making excuses. Please talk to me. What’s going on with you? It’s not like you to get into fights. Even though the charges against Allen were dropped, I know this stuff has to have affected you.” He gave a dry laugh. “I know I haven’t helped matters. I’m your father. I’m supposed to be the first example you see of how to be treated in a relationship, but I haven’t done a good job the last few years. I can’t change the past, but I can start doing things differently right now. I’m really trying to change, baby. I haven’t had a drink since the break-in at the house, and you know I’ve been going to church.”

  Someone behind us finally honked, and Daddy looked up like he had just realized where we were. The light was turning yellow, and we eased on through it and Daddy pulled over the first chance he got.

  “What’s going on, Courtland? Please talk to me.”

  I shrugged. “Just teenage stuff—you know, female issues,” I said, figuring that would turn him off. Most guys hated any kind of allusion to menstrual cycles.

  “Do you need some medicine?” he asked.

  “I really just want to lie down.” I grabbed my stomach for emphasis, and he nodded and pulled off without another word.

  When we finally made it home, Momma was lying on the sofa in the den, and Aunt Dani was sitting there with her watching A Wedding Story on The Learning Channel.

  “So what’d they do to you?” Aunt Dani asked, grinning at me as she threw the remote on the table.

  “Dani, please,” Momma said, rubbing her head like she had a headache.

  “Girl, you know I want the details. I thought I was the wild one in the family. Now it looks like Corky is following in my footsteps. I’ve been training her well.” Her face lit up, like I had gotten all A’s on my report card.

  “Dani, this isn’t cute,” Momma said, letting out a violent cough. She turned to me. “Why were you fighting?”

  Everyone looked at me expectantly, and I just stood there. How could I explain everything that had led up to me punching Bree?

  “Will you guys just leave me alone?” I screamed. Momma looked like I had slapped her. I ran out of the room, ignoring Momma insisting that I get back there.

  As I closed my door, I heard Daddy telling her to leave me alone, and I breathed a sigh of relief. For the first time in my life, he seemed to have my back.

  Exhaustion slapped me in the face the moment I spotted my bed. I had been up all night, and suddenly I was tired enough to sleep for a month. I climbed into the bed, pulled the covers over my head and prayed that when I woke up this day would be only a bad dream.

  twelve

  I woke up to the smell of smoke along with the chirping of the smoke detector and someone screaming.

  Still half-asleep, I jumped up and banged my toe on the edge of the bed as I made my way to the door.

  “Step back,” I heard Momma yell.

  I fanned the smoke from in front of my face and headed toward the voices, trying to figure out what was going on.

  “Donna, help me,” Aunt Dani yelled.

  Fully awake, I ignored the pain in my toe and sprinted to the kitchen, my mind racing as I tried to figure out a way out of the burning house.

  “Momma,” I yelled.

  “Corky, stay back,” Aunt Dani yelled.

  I stopped at the entry to the kitchen and burst out laughing when I took in the scene. Momma was calmly sitting at the table peeling potatoes while Aunt Dani, covered in flour, was standing near the stove wearing a long apron and oven
mitts, shaking a fork at a skillet on the stove. She looked like a baseball catcher trying to get a hit.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Girl, this grease keeps popping me,” Aunt Dani said, almost tripping in her high heels.

  “That’s what grease does, Dani,” Momma said calmly.

  “Is the chicken burning?” I asked. I walked over to the stove, elbowing Aunt Dani out of the way to look in the skillet. It looked like Aunt Dani had just put a drumstick in there because it was still covered with flour, but the bits of chicken crust at the bottom of the skillet were burning.

  I shook my head and grabbed the fork from her. “I’ll do it,” I said.

  She looked relieved as she tossed her hair out of the way and switched over to sit next to my mother at the table. She picked up a potato, looked at it for a second, then put it back down and sat back and watched us work.

  “Well, I tried to be domesticated,” she said, crossing her arms. “My man is just going to have to accept the fact that we’ll be eating out after we get married.”

  “You’re getting married?” I screamed, turning toward her. “Miles proposed?”

  “No, but I’ll get a proposal soon,” she said confidently.

  “Can I be one of your bridesmaids?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Gee, thanks,” I said sarcastically, turning to put more chicken in the skillet. “How are you feeling, Momma?”

  “I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about you.”

  Suddenly I remembered the past twenty-four hours.

  “Girl, I thought you were never going to wake up,” Aunt Dani said. “I went up there to check on you, like, five times.”

  “Why were you so tired?” Momma asked.

  I looked to see if she was trying to catch me in a lie, but she was focused on the potato she was cutting up. “I didn’t sleep too well last night,” I said.

  “Nervous about the competition?” she asked, and looked at me.

  “Well, she doesn’t have to worry about that anymore,” Aunt Dani said.

  I wanted to roll my eyes at her. Even though she was only a few years older than me and often acted like she was younger, I tried to respect her, but there were times when it was hard.