Snare (Delirious book 1)

by Wild, Clarissa

  They drag her through the car, pulling and tugging at her like wild animals prodding at prey before they butcher it. It’s hard to swallow. My instinct tells me not to let them take her, so I get up and try to run toward her. But someone grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me back, wrapping his arms all around my waist.

  “There’s nowhere to go.”

  “No! Get your hands off her!” I yell.

  They start ripping her clothes off.

  “This one’s nice and plump, just the way I like them,” one of them growls.

  “The other one is too scrawny, too meek. This one packs some punch. Exciting,” another one muses, licking his lips.

  Ashley punches and kicks, but they pick her up and hold her in the air while they shred her clothes to bits. In terror, I watch as they peel away layer by layer until there’s nothing left but her naked body. I cry and scream in the hands of my captor, but I can’t do anything. I’m no match for his strength.

  “Are you getting this?” Newman calls to the man holding me down.

  “Hold on,” he says, and then he fiddles with the camera around my neck. I wasn’t even aware it was still there. He pushes it in front of my eyes, grabs my hand, puts it on the button, and says, “Take some pictures.”

  “What?” I say, shivering. “Stop … please …” My words sound more like cries as the tears spill down my cheeks and into my mouth.

  “Go on …” the man who’s fondling Ashley says to me with a devilish smile on his face. “I want something good to remember this day.”

  The man behind me starts pressing my finger, and I unwillingly take photos of the horrifying scene in front of me. She is smacked. Beaten. Pushed to her limit. Made to do things I would never, ever, want to look at. Except I can’t look away. I’m forced to watch and take snapshots of my friend being molested, assaulted, and used. And I can’t do anything about it. Frozen solid like a block of ice, my hands feel numb and my brain is shutting off.

  “Do you like seeing your friend like this, Miss Carrigan? Enjoy the show while you can,” Newman says. “And keep snapping pictures! I’ll do worse than this if you don’t keep up.”

  “Don’t try anything, Lillith … it won’t help. They’ll kill you,” the man behind me says.

  “Please …” I sob. “Stop.”

  “Shh…” He keeps pressing the button on the camera. “Let me take care of it.”

  “Why? Why is this happening?” I mutter.

  “Don’t listen to them. Don’t look,” he whispers.

  I wish I could listen to what he said. I truly wish I could turn a blind eye and make it all go away. That I could ignore what is happening right in front of me. However, deep inside me I know I have to watch this, for her, Ashley, so that one day … if we escape from this hell … I can make them pay.

  My teeth clatter, but I refuse to give up. I’m on the verge of collapsing, the stress too much, but I force myself to stay standing. To keep watching, no matter how horrifying it is. These pictures don’t belong to me anymore. I know they’ll take them, and so I’ll have no proof. The proof will be in my mind, so I tell myself I need to remember everything.

  However, the ordeal proves too much for me.

  Whenever I try to move my head away, one of the men walks over and hits me right in the face. I’m not allowed to look away, even if I try. After about five hours of witnessing assault and brutal torture, my body and mind give in.

  I collapse in the arm of the man who keeps me from running, the man who is part of this clique and yet tries to help me through it. His petty slice of humanity, however small, is the sole thing I cling to as I drift away from this world.

  Right then, one of them focuses his attention on me. “Fuck, she’s gone.”

  “No, she’s not. I’ll be the one to decide that,” Newman growls.

  He barges toward me and puts his hands on me. I scream, fighting him while he grasps my shirt and tears it apart from top to bottom. I struggle to stay standing as he pulls down my pants, too. The man behind me says, “Wait!” And he tries to stop him by grabbing my pants and jerking, but it’s to no prevail. I’m already naked. Stripped of the last shred of my humanity.

  “Stop, she isn’t your target,” the man behind me yells.

  “Who fucking cares, she is now.” He doesn’t stop until all my clothes are gone or ripped apart.

  “Enough!” The man behind me pulls me away from his grasp and brings me to my feet, holding me close. “She’s mine!”

  “What?” Newman says.

  The man behind me picks me up in his arms. “You already had that one; don’t take this one, too.”

  “You’re planning on using her for your―”

  “Maybe I will, but that is none of your business. I will not have you sully this one, too. You got what you were after.”

  “Fine,” Newman snaps, grunting, and then he walks back to Ashley. My hand drifts with him, wanting to go to her, but the man holding me in his arms repositions me so that I’m only facing him. My head pounds and I’m losing the fight to stay conscious. My eyes have already given up, closing, my breath coming out in short puffs. I’ve lost. I’ve lost everything. My friend. My family. My dignity.

  All I have left is him.

  My trust that he’ll bring me to safety.

  I feel his steps but can’t keep up with where we’re going. Ashley’s noises fade and so do the men. It feels as though my mind has emptied, and there is nothing left. We’re out of this car. It’s strange to not hear her screams anymore and the vicious growls of the men. A cold breeze chills my body to the bone. It’s surprisingly welcome.

  “Hold on, we’re almost there,” he says, but I can barely hear him.

  All I feel is his warm hands around me as he walks me away from danger and into the unknown. Something beeps, I think it’s a car, and the door is opened. I’m placed on a warm couch and a blanket is draped over me. Somehow, I feel like I’ve just been saved by the devil himself. Who are these people who help the man that stole my mother away from me? Who is this man who carries me away into the night?

  “W-who are you? What do you want with me?” I ask with the last bit of remaining energy I have. I’m seconds away from blacking out, but I manage to catch the next thing he says before I slip away completely.

  “My name is Sebastian Brand, and I want you to forgive me.”

  Accompanying song: “Breath of Life” by Florence and the Machine

  Train, Rhode Island – June 2nd, 2013, night

  I remember everything.

  I remember how they killed my mother and came for Ashley and me. How I was never really the target, but she was. For the sake of my own safety, I pushed it all away, forgot about everything. I told myself to remember, and instead I did the opposite. Ashley …

  My breath catches in my throat the moment I realize I’m still in his arms. The man who helped them do this to us.

  I look back, my pupils dilating. “You … You were there. You did this to us!”

  I scramble away from his grasp and tumble onto the floor, but I keep crawling, anything to get far away from him.

  “Yes, it was me. I was there when your friend was abused, beaten, taken against her will. I was there when they killed your mother, and I knew it would happen. I know about everything. And now you do, too.”

  “No …” I shake my head. “How could you?”

  “I ask myself the same thing over and over again. And do you know what answer I come up with?” he says, stalking toward me while I crawl backward as fast as I can. “Nothing. There is nothing I can say that will justify this. I had no other choice but to participate …”

  “You … you’re a monster,” I snarl.

  “You’re right … I am. But what now? Are you going to run? Where do you think you can hide?” He steps closer, holding out his hand, while I get up from the floor. “Did you think I would let you go?”

  “Why did you make me remember? Why couldn’t you just let me be?”

 
; He rakes his fingers through his hair, his nostrils flaring. “You were the one who was desperate for me, not the other way around.”

  “You’re sick!” I snarl as I turn around and run, pushing my way through the doors of the train car. There is no exit, no end, no stop to this train, and the only way to get off is by force. So I find the nearest emergency switch and yank it down. The train comes to a screeching halt so swiftly I almost topple over, but I manage to catch myself on one of the bars that line the car. Sebastian is right behind me when it stops, his face appearing through the door, giving me new nightmares of which I know will haunt me forever.

  “You should’ve never left that mental hospital,” he yells. “You’re crazy if you go out there.”

  “If it’s far away from you, I’m more safe than I’ve ever been,” I say. “I’m sorry I ever came looking for you.” I pull the handle on the door, and it opens wide while the train is still moving.

  “Don’t.” He holds up his hand in an effort to stop me from jumping. “You don’t know what you’re doing. Let’s talk about this first.”

  “I’m done talking to you!” I yell as I move my feet closer to the door.

  “Stop! Do not jump out of this train.”

  Too late.

  I’ve already slipped and let my body fly.

  Accompanying song: “Bad Moon Rising” by Mourning Ritual

  Train, Rhode Island – June 2nd, 2013, night

  She needed to remember. I wanted her to. She needed remember so she could hate me… despise me … and get away from me, like she has now. It was all part of the plan. Once she found me, I knew this was the only option. Either make her go forcefully or by her own choice. I did it for her … to keep her safe. To let her be the first girl who survived the ordeal and had gotten away.

  Except, I fell for her.

  I really did.

  The moment she stood at my doorstep was the day I knew everything would fall apart. I fought her resilience with everything I had, but it wasn’t enough. So I took her in, made her see the error of her decision to follow me. The animal in me came out and ravaged her, relentlessly, night after night … just to make her scared.

  And maybe a little because I couldn’t resist the temptation.

  I told myself I wouldn’t fall for her that I could keep my emotions at bay. That I could take her and do with her as I wished without consequences. It was a lie I told myself to cope with the truth. The moment she started accepting my viciousness, a primal need to repel her impending love for me grew inside me. I was slowly falling for her, and there was nothing I could do. Nothing that would change my succumbing heart.

  And now I don’t want her to run.

  I need her. I need her acceptance to forget about the horrible things I’ve done. I need her submission to feed my addiction of control. I can’t let her go.

  Either she comes back to me, or she doesn’t get to live at all.

  I searched for a way out but knew there was no other solution. Once she found the camera, I lost. I knew the time would come but not this quickly. I wanted to show her the pictures myself, explain how I got my hands on them, but she never gave me a chance. The only outcome was pain. All caused by me. I’m not proud of myself, but I know it had to be done.

  I quickly grab the heavy bag lying on the couch in the train car and take out my shotgun along with ammo. Through the window in front of me, I see her fairy-like presence floating through the woods, running, fleeing for her life. A full moon lights the sky, her red hair like a homing beacon, reflecting the light in the dark of night.

  She should hate me. I am a monster. Monsters do not take well when those they need flee.

  She should’ve run when she had the chance.

  Now it’s too late.

  I will not let her get away.

  Accompanying song: “The Hunted” by Snowghosts

  My lungs burn and my legs ache, but I will not let it stop me. I run and run until I can’t feel anything anymore, and then I still keep running. The forest is dense, the branches of the trees thick and unbending. They scratch me as I swipe them away, pushing my way through. The ground is soggy and my feet are icy cold, but I keep going. I hold on for dear life … just to live. Now more than ever do I realize how much I want to live.

  Now that I remember everything.

  I know Sebastian is a traitor, a liar, a betrayer, and a murderer. He was in it from the start. How could I so blindly have trusted him and put my life on the line for him? How could I want that which caused all my misery?

  And oh … Ashley … she’s still in the institution. I left her there alone, in the dark, without me. She remembers it all, and yet nobody believes her. She blames me for everything, and now I understand why. I should’ve stopped myself from blocking it out, should’ve been there to support her claim, get her out, and bring justice to the men who took our innocence.

  A gunshot rips me from my thoughts. The loud bang reverberates in my ears. Birds scatter from the treetops, the noise muddling my sense of direction. I turn a complete circle, trying to pinpoint where it came from. Another shot is fired, and I duck, holding my hands above my head. The bullet bounces off a tree right next to me.

  There’s no way I can describe the sheer panic rushing over me.

  As I gaze up to see if the coast is clear, I see Sebastian’s hollowed face from behind a tree. For a moment, my heart stops.

  Jesus Christ.

  He has a shotgun.

  And he’s trying to shoot me with it.

  I dash, trying to push away the thought of him gunning me down. It would only slow me down. As fast as I can, I dart through the woods, avoiding gunfire. Leaves rustle under his feet as he chases after me. I look over my shoulder, gazing into blue eyes that sparkle with excitement and ferocity. The coldness in his gaze and the determination in his stride bring chills to my bones. A certain gleam in his eyes and the devilish smile on his lips cause me to scream.

  “I smell blood …” he growls. “Your blood.”

  I touch the scrape on my cheek and gape at my trembling, bloodstained fingers.

  “Have you ever tasted your own blood?” he asks, shooting again.

  I squeal and duck, then stumble to flee again.

  “I think it would taste delicious …”

  “Stay away!” I scream, darting away with difficulty, my feet heavy from the mud.

  He laughs, almost maniacally. I’ve never seen or heard him be like this before. Almost as if there is bloodlust inside him. The need to kill.

  Goosebumps cloak my body in disgust.

  “C’mon, Miss Carrigan, are you going to accept your fate with dignity, or do you want me to hunt you down like some wild stock?”

  “You’re going to fucking shoot me like I’m game?”

  “Stop running and you’ll find out.”

  “Like hell I will!”

  I zigzag through the woods, trying to slow him down so I can get the hell away from him, but he’s quicker than I thought. More used to hunting than I imagined. I remember him shooting the deer, and it all starts connecting in my head. He hunts. Not just animals … but girls, too.

  Who is this man?

  No prickle from a bush or scrape from a branch can make me feel like I’m not dreaming. This is a nightmare come to life.

  I push past some branches but realize too late that there’s a huge drop. Tumbling down the hill, I protect my head by rolling up into a ball until I come to a stop against a firm trunk. My head pounds, my legs ache, my hands shiver, and I’m covered in cuts and bruises, but I crawl up the moment I hear the rattling of his shotgun coming closer. Panting, I drag myself behind the thick tree and wait, hoping he’ll pass and go in a different direction.

  “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” he calls, chuckling. “Oh, you know it won’t help to hide. You’ll be found somehow … whether it’s now or in thirty minutes. I can go forever, but you? I have a feeling you’re still too drowsy from that drug to even fight me,” he muses. “
So come out, Miss Carrigan, and this will be over swiftly.”

  I slam my lips shut, resisting the urge to scold him. The salty tang of my own sweat enters my mouth, and I can taste my own fear. The thick, cold air surrounding me has me in tremors. The silence is killing me. I don’t hear any noises, no rustles, no rattling, no gunfire or leather scraping against leather as he walks. I hear nothing. This moment of solitude has me thinking about things I don’t want to think about. Death. Loneliness. The fact that I have no one and nothing to live for … why should I go on?

  Why does it matter?

  Why don’t I just give up?

  It is then that I realize I’m not the only one who was hurt by this. Ashley … she’s still there, waiting for me to rescue her. The thought awakens a fierceness in me that sends renewed energy through my veins. I must go on for her. One way or another, I will get her out of there, and I won’t stop until we’re both safe and free to live our lives. Staying here will do me no good. I have to run and get away, now. Before it’s too late.

  “Boo.”

  To my left, glinting teeth like those of a wolf makes me scream. “Found you.”

  I shove myself away from the tree and make a run for it, but bullets rain down upon me like snowflakes falling from the sky. I duck and fall head down on the ground, curling up my legs and feet as the gunfire is close to where I lie. Crawling backward, I look up and gaze into icy blue eyes laced with delight and a hint of cruel amusement.

  “No …” I whimper, shaking my head as the gun is pointed at me.

  I can’t run, and I can’t hide. He’ll kill me before I have a chance.

  This is it. This is the end.

  My life is over, but at least I’ll go out with a bang.

  “Stay still, little fairy. It’ll all be over soon…”

  Accompanying song: “Attack on Titan” by Shingeki no kyojin Ost

  Meeting Room, Genesis. Providence, Rhode Island – June 2nd, 2013