A Charming Brew

by Robin Roseau

  “No.”

  “If you ask her out, and she says ‘no’, I’ll concede our wager and never bug you about this again.”

  I sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I’m going to keep bugging you.”

  “You’ll back off.”

  “You’ll ask her?”

  I sighed. “After Halloween. I don’t want things to be awkward.”

  She put her hand on her hip. “I’ll give you until the following Friday. Then I’m going to start telling her to ask you.”

  “No!’

  “That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”

  “And in the meantime, you’ll shut up.”

  “Yeah. I understand what you mean about it being awkward.”

  “Right. Thank you.”

  “But you do like her.”

  “Yeah, Lydia. I surely do. But she’s straight.”

  “I guess we’ll see. So, going to drive me home, or do I have to walk?”

  “You’ll get picked up as a wayward scarecrow.”

  “Oh goodie! I get to shed hay in your car.”

  “Oh, damn it!”

  She grinned. “I’ll help you wash it sometime.”

  “That’s a deal, too.”

  * * * *

  “So, whatcha doing for lunch?”

  “Hey, Jay-jay,” I said.

  “The answer is, accidentally bumping into Jay-jay and Karla at Foggy West at 12:45.”

  “Accidently bumping into them, is it?”

  “They might have a friend with them, who will believe in the coincidence of the moment.”

  “How bad is she, Jay-jay?”

  “I told you. She’s all right. Why can’t you trust me?”

  “Remember that last one you set me up with?” I said. “What was her name? Crystal? Rock? Salt? Something like that.”

  “Spice,” Jay-jay said. “That was Karla, not me.”

  “Uh huh. I bet the two of you sat up at night, laughing about that one.”

  “She’s sweet,” Jay-jay said. “You have to admit, she’s sweet.”

  “And utterly vacuous.”

  “So? She’s got great tits, and you’re a tit girl.”

  “I am not a tit girl.”

  “Totally a T&A girl. That’s my Jackie.”

  “Knock it off. Fine. 12:45. Foggy West.”

  “Dress nice, like you just got done with a client or something.”

  “Tell me what’s wrong with her, Jay-jay.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with her, Jackie. Okay, she’s got a little baggage.”

  “How much baggage?”

  “I told you. She’s not that far out of a breakup. Um. And she’s got a kid.”

  “How old a kid?”

  “I don’t know, exactly.”

  “How old, approximately? Under five? Under ten?”

  “Under five.”

  “Under one?”

  “Um.”

  “She’s got a baby? She doesn’t have time to date.”

  “Which is why she’s safe,” Jay-jay said. “You won’t get roped into a relationship unless you’re really willing to work on it. She doesn’t even know where the U-Haul store is.”

  “Is this baby going to be at lunch?”

  “Naw. With grandma, I guess.”

  I thought carefully. “There’s something you’re not telling me. I’m going to figure out what it is.”

  “Probably,” she said, and I could tell she was grinning. Then she sobered. “Jackie, she’s a nice woman. She’s a little confused. You’re a nice woman. You’ll be kind. She needs kind right now.”

  “Oh god, she’s a sobbing wreck.”

  “Jackie, she’s my friend. You’re going to like her. Will you please do this for me?”

  I felt like a heel. “Yeah, of course. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, I am teasing you a little. It’s one date. Take her somewhere nice. Flirt with her. Let her feel beautiful. Kiss her goodnight. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “Sure. 12:45.”

  * * * *

  Jay-jay and Karla had set me up a few times. I always hated it. And they seemed to have no clue what kind of woman I liked. Or else they just liked pranking me. I was never sure. So I had no idea what to expect.

  But Jay-jay also never phrased it as a favor, and she’d practically begged. I knew, I just knew there was something she was hiding from me. But she’d never asked this kind of favor, and she was doing a huge favor for me with the scaffolding. And she and Karla wanted to help, besides.

  One lunch and a date. I could do that even if the woman were crass and hideous.

  But I never promised a kiss, and she better be polite with her hands.

  Still, I dressed, showing a bit of leg between my black boots and hem of my dress, and a hint of cleavage for good measure. Then, on a whim, I added a hat. No one wears hats these days, but sometimes it was fun.

  Still, I drove with the top down. It was near the end of the top-down season, but it was a decent day, and if I looked a little wind-blown and carefree, well, this woman might be into that look. Who was I to know?

  I wished I could make a charm that would keep my hair perfect, but I hadn’t quite mastered anything like that.

  I arrived a few minutes early and sent a text to Jay-jay. But when my phone buzzed thirty seconds later, it was from Karla.

  “We’re next to be seated. Hurry.”

  That wasn’t hard. Foggy West is located on the outer edge of a western suburb strip mall, but it was a building by itself, so it took all of 30 seconds to walk from my car to the front door. I made my way towards the hostess stand, pretending to ignore the waiting women.

  “Jackie? Jackie Janes?”

  I turned. Jay-jay and Karla were facing me, and beside Jay-jay, an absolutely stunning redhead. I stared for a moment before turning to my friends.

  “Karla!” I said. “Jay-jay. What are you doing here?”

  “Um. Lunch,” Jay-jay responded. “Imagine that.”

  “You come to Foggy West? Why haven’t we ever met for lunch?”

  I closed the distance and gave cheek kisses to my two friends. Jay-jay chuckled into my ear and said, “I saw that look.”

  I punched her arm then shook out my hand. Punching her was like punching a tree trunk.

  Karla wrapped an arm around my waist. “Jacqueline Janes, this is Maeve Gallagher. She’s an old family friend.”

  I held out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Maeve.” I worked hard not to stare at her as we shook hands. If she wasn’t a blubbering idiot, this could be the first time they’d set me up with someone I could actually find attractive. And if so, Maeve could help me stop fantasizing about a certain teacher.

  Who was straight, whatever Lydia insisted.

  “Are you meeting someone?” Jay-jay asked.

  “What?” I said. “Oh, no. I finished with a client.” I waved my tablet. “I was going to enjoy a little reading and a good meal.”

  “Join us,” Karla said. “We never get to see you.”

  “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

  “You wouldn’t be intruding,” Maeve said. “You should join us.”

  I looked between the three of them. “If you’re sure,” I said hesitatingly.

  “We’re sure,” Karla said. “Jay-jay, warn them we’re four. That shouldn’t be a problem.”

  * * * *

  It was a delightful meal. We sat at a table for four, Maeve to my right. I had ample opportunity to check her out.

  She was dressed expensively, and unlike mine, her hair was perfect, as was her makeup. She was calm and poised, and for the life of me, I couldn’t detect one single flaw. At least not initially.

  We hit the high points, Karla steering the conversation around. We talked about our jobs and about where we grew up. I officially learned Maeve’s little boy was 11 months old. Maeve learned I was single, but I didn’t officially learn the same about her.

  It was halfway through the meal that
the conversation turned.

  “Jackie, can I ask you a delicate question?”

  “Um. Sure, Maeve.”

  “Are you gay?”

  I stared into her eyes for just a moment before answering. “Yes.”

  “You prefer women.”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you know?”

  My eyes flicked to Jay-jay. She had the grace to look guilty. She should have told me. We’d be chatting later.

  “I wouldn’t say I always knew,” I said. “But it was pretty obvious long before I finished high school.”

  “How?”

  “It wasn’t the boys I kept thinking about.”

  “I’ve asked these two,” she said, nodding towards Jay-jay and Karla. “I don’t know many lesbians.” She laughed nervously. “Three now, I think.”

  “Probably more than that,” I said. This time I managed to avoid outright glaring at Jay-jay, but it was a close thing. “But I understand what you mean.”

  “My husband didn’t understand why I wanted a divorce,” Maeve said. “I suppose it’s terrible. Our little Bronson was only a few months old, and here I was, telling him I wanted a divorce.”

  I was going to kill her. Really, I was.

  “You realized you didn’t want a man.”

  “Yes,” she said. “We’re trying to be friends, for Bronson’s sake, if nothing else. But he’s hurt.” She stared into space for a moment.

  I reached out a hand and set it on hers. “I imagine it’s been difficult.”

  She turned her hand over and clasped mine. “Life is difficult,” she said. “Everyone faces struggles.”

  “How long has it been?”

  “I haven’t had... relations... since the night Bronson was conceived. But my husband moved out of our house eight months ago. It was a simple, uncontested divorced.”

  I squeezed her hand.

  “Do you mind if I ask questions?”

  “Of course I don’t mind.”

  “Who invites whom on a date?”

  “Whoever is brave enough to ask,” I replied. “You’ll find some women are really pushy. I don’t really like that style. I don’t have a problem with bold, and it’s nice being asked, but the ones who don’t take ‘no’ for an answer annoy me.”

  “That sounds like some guys.”

  “Yeah, exactly.” I looked her up and down pointedly. “I bet you get some of that.”

  “Yes, and having a husband wasn’t any protection at all.”

  “Telling guys you’re gay isn’t any better,” I said. “Quote: you just haven’t met the right guy yet.” I shuddered. “Jerks.”

  She smiled. “I had a woman tell me that once, a long time ago. I wonder what would have become of my life if I’d been bold enough to except her offer.”

  “You wouldn’t have Bronson.”

  “No, I suppose I wouldn’t. So, sometimes you ask, and sometimes you are asked.”

  “Yes.”

  “How about paying?”

  “Ah, that can vary. You are far more likely to go Dutch than when dating a guy. But some women believe the person who did the asking does the paying. When I am asked, I assume Dutch unless she doesn’t let me pay. When I ask, I assume I am paying unless she offers. I won’t fight over a check unless I know she can’t afford it.”

  I released her hand and withdrew slightly.

  “I have to use the ladies,” Karla announced. “Anyone else?”

  “Me,” I said immediately.

  * * * *

  “What the hell, Karla?”

  “Jay-jay told you-“

  “Your wife didn’t tell me she’s in an experimental stage. She said a recent breakup. I didn’t think to ask the gender of her ex-.”

  “If you don’t like her, you don’t have to ask her out,” Karla said. “She isn’t ready for commitment.”

  “She’s going to latch onto the first woman who shows her any real kindness.”

  “Which is why we started with you, and then we have a few other people we’re going to introduce to her, people we know won’t hurt her. She needs some experience before some bitch nails her. You know the kind.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “She’s stunning, Jackie.”

  “That’s true.”

  “She’s your type. Smart. Sophisticated. Did I mention gorgeous?”

  “11-month-old and a recent husband.”

  “You’ve dated mothers before,” she said. “And the ex- is just like any other ex-. You’ll never have to deal with him. What difference does it make, if it’s just one casual date?”

  I sighed and nodded. “Fine. But if she turns into Glenn Close.”

  “She won’t. But if she does, we’ll protect your pet rabbit.”

  I growled at her, and together we returned to the table.

  * * * *

  “Did you have time to talk about me?” I asked as I sit down.

  “Of course not,” Jay-jay said, but at the same time, Maeve said, “Yes.”

  I laughed. “Jay-jay loves talking about me. I’m surprised Karla doesn’t get jealous.”

  “She does,” Jay-jay said. “Cause she knows you’re into the butches.”

  “Totally,” I said.

  “Butches?”

  “Jay-jay is teasing,” I said.

  “But what is a butch?”

  “Oh. Jay-jay is a butch. Karla is somewhat more feminine, but not exactly a femme.”

  “But our Jackie, now she’s all femme.”

  “Not all femme,” I said. “I have my tomboy side.” I looked at Maeve. “Now you’re a femme.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  “It is as far as Jackie is concerned,” Karla said with a laugh.

  “Shut up, Karla,” I said. “You’re going to scare her off before I even have a chance to ask her.”

  “Ask me what?”

  I turned fully to towards Maeve. “Do you know what you need?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “A date.”

  She blinked twice. “Yes.”

  “Yes, you need a date, or-“

  “Yes, I’d like to go on a date with you. When?”

  It was my turn to blink a couple of times. “My weekends are a mess until Halloween.”

  “If you’re only asking to be polite-“

  “But I’m available tomorrow. I know that’s sudden. Or sometime early next week. Can you find someone to take care of Bronson?”

  “Bronson’s father will collect his son after work tomorrow,” she said. “I could be ready by 6:30.” She withdrew paper from her purse, and a moment later I was holding a note with her address and phone number.

  * * * *

  Jay-jay walked me to my car, then pulled me into a hug. “Thank you.”

  “It’s fine,” I whispered back. “You didn’t tell me she was gorgeous.”

  Jay-jay chuckled. “I didn’t want to build it up too much.” She released me. “I know you’ll be gentle. Many wouldn’t. They’d be going for that toaster oven.”

  “I have my share of those,” I replied. “Two was at least one too many.”

  “She’s not a tourist,” Jay-jay said. “She’s been troubled for years. Her story is a cliché. Family pressures and all that.”

  “Right. Family sucks sometimes.”

  “Your family never sucks. So, when do I get the niece?”

  “Day after Halloween, just like you asked.”

  “I’ll drop off some of the scaffolding tonight, for sizing purposes, and I’ve already arranged with Ron to bring the rest right to the school.”

  “Are you coming to our slumber party this weekend?”

  “Karla and I wouldn’t miss it, if we’re both welcome. And I’ve got a couple of women who will help set up at the school, but they aren’t staying for the party.”

  “You’re a peach.” I hugged her once more. “I’ll see you this evening.”

  * * * *

  I stood in Maeve’s doorway. “You look amazing.” And she d
id. Stunning, with legs up to here, and... I mentally had to shake myself.

  “You look very nice, too,” she replied. “I’m nervous.”

  “Don’t be,” I said. “There’s no pressure. Dinner. Conversation. It’s a nice evening, so maybe a walk afterwards.”

  “I tried to talk to Jay-jay last night, but she wasn’t any help at all. She gave me to Karla. We talked for two hours.”

  “About me?”

  “About how I should behave.”

  I took her arm. “Don’t worry about any of that,” I said. “We’re just going to have a nice time.”

  “I feel like a hick coming to the big city.” But she grabbed her purse and a wrap, and soon we were in my car.

  “Oh my gosh, this car is gorgeous.”

  “I like it,” I said. “No, you can’t drive it.”

  “Damn it,” she said, laughing. “I can be pretty convincing.”

  “Buckle up,” I ordered. Then I got in on my own side, buckled, and turned to her. “Maeve, will you do me a favor?”

  “Sure.”

  “Just relax. Have a nice time. Don’t worry about what you’re supposed to do. There aren’t any rules, anyway.”

  “All right. Will you answer a question before we leave my driveway.”

  “Sure.”

  “Was lunch yesterday as chance an encounter as you played it?”

  I stared without answering.

  “That’s what I thought,” she said.

  “Are you mad?”

  “No. It was sweet of them. But you don’t have to do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Take me to dinner.”

  “Good. I rarely do what I have to do. I prefer to do what I want to do.” Then I put the car in gear and backed out of her driveway.

  We’d gone a block before she said, her voice small, “Thank you.”

  “I’m looking forward to spending time with a gorgeous woman,” I said. I glanced in her direction. “Discounting some of what we might call baggage, you are exactly my type, and Jay-jay knows it.”

  “Which baggage are we talking about? Bronson?”

  “No, actually. Ex-husband.”

  “Ah. I understand.”

  “I like kids,” I said. “I’m sure I’ll talk your ear off about my niece.”

  “Good. I’d like to hear about her.”

  We drove another block before she said, “You asked me not to worry about what the rules were, and just try to have a good time.”

  “Yes.”

  “I really liked it when we held hands yesterday. Can you drive with one hand?”