Scattering Like Light

by S. C. Ransom

  After an hour I pushed the laptop away in frustration. I was absolutely no further forward. Glancing out into the garden I could see the late afternoon sun casting purple shadows into the corners. Beesley continued to sleep contentedly, which was surprising given that it must have been his teatime. I really ought to take him back home, I thought, watching his tail swish as he dreamed some doggy dream. I was just about to get up when the tingle appeared in my wrist. I knew immediately that it wasn’t Callum.

  “Hello?” I said carefully.

  “It’s me, Olivia. I’m sorry, Alex, but I wanted to talk to you without Callum around.” Olivia’s soft voice was even quieter than usual.

  “Oh, hello, Olivia, I wasn’t expecting either of you back so soon.”

  “I gave Callum the slip. He thinks I’m gathering in screen four, where they’re showing that new film about the honeymoon. He says he can’t stand watching it again this week.”

  “You won’t have long before he notices then, I guess.” I waited, but she said nothing. “Come on, Olivia. If you want to talk to me you’re going to have to tell me what’s on your mind.”

  “There’s a rumour going around. Matthew was trying to keep it quiet, but people are talking. Is it true? Are you going to kill everyone? Can you even do that? No one will tell me what’s going on!”

  I sighed. “Who’s been telling you all this?”

  “Apparently there was a newspaper report about Lucas being dead. We know that he’s gone, and the rumour is that it was something to do with you. Is it true?”

  It was going to be pointless denying it. “Well, yes,” I admitted. “When I was trying to stop Lucas from hurting Rob I did something that killed him. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know exactly what was going to happen, but I did. He’s dead.”

  There was a sharp intake of breath and then a silence, which continued until she could stand it no longer. “It’s not fair! They never tell me anything. They think I’m too young to understand but I’ve been here for years and years and years. I just don’t get any bigger. Why won’t they treat me like a grown-up? I’ve as much right to know what’s going on as anyone else, haven’t I?”

  “Shh, Olivia, don’t shout in my head. I’ve not discussed this with anyone but Callum so far, not even Matthew. No one is keeping anything from you. What do you want to know?”

  “Are you going to do it?”

  “I need to do what’s best for everyone, and I don’t know what that is yet.”

  “So you might? You might kill us all?”

  I bit back a sigh. It was always difficult getting into arguments with Olivia. To her, everything was absolutely black or white, with no shades of grey at all. “I need to talk to Callum, and to Matthew, and I’ve not had the chance to do that yet, but—”

  I stopped dead as I heard the front door open. I didn’t have my mobile phone anywhere in sight. “Crap. I’ve got to go. Someone might hear me talking to you! I’ll speak to Callum, OK?”

  “If you say so,” she said grumpily, “but I want to know what you decide to do. I’m not too young, whatever Callum thinks, and he needs to understand that.”

  “OK, I’ll talk to him,” I hissed through gritted teeth as I turned around. It was Josh, and he wasn’t alone. Max was walking into my kitchen.

  It took a couple of moments to regain my composure. “Max! I didn’t know you were coming round.”

  He gave me one of his most devastating smiles. “I was in Richmond so Josh and I decided to make an evening of it. We’ve come back to dump the car and grab a sandwich, then we’ll be heading out.” He paused for a second. “Fancy joining us?” he added, a bit too casually.

  “Umm, thanks, but I can’t go out tonight. I’ve got to wait and look after the dog until our neighbour comes back.” I gestured out into the garden, where Beesley was still sound asleep.

  “He doesn’t look like he’s too much trouble,” laughed Max.

  “You have no idea. Earlier today he escaped by chewing through a solid wooden gate.”

  “Impressive.” Max smiled and turned away from the window back towards me. I was suddenly conscious that Josh was nowhere to be seen. “It’s good to see you, Alex. Really good.”

  I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled and quickly looked away. Where had Josh got to? “Do you want a coffee to go with your sandwich?” I winced at how inane I sounded but at least it gave me something to do. Moving across to the far side of the kitchen, I picked up the kettle and filled it with water. Deliberately not turning to look at Max I stood the kettle back on its stand but as I reached for the switch long, tanned fingers encircled mine. He was right behind me.

  I stood completely still, my skin prickling where he was touching me. Then I felt his lips brush the top of my head. “Give me another chance, Alex, please?” he murmured. “I really enjoyed the time we had together in Spain, and I think you did too.”

  I started to object, but as I drew breath to speak he continued. “Look, I know about the other guy, the one who’s abroad, and I understand. But he’s not here, is he? Why not at least come out with me a couple of times? It can’t hurt and you’ve nothing to lose.”

  I could feel the strength in his fingers as they continued to hold mine. He was standing close enough behind me that I was conscious of the heat from his body. He took my silence as a good sign and carried on.

  “I thought that maybe we could just go and get a drink – nothing more, just a drink. We are friends after all, and then take it from there. The thing is…” He paused and turned me round so I was facing him, his hands resting on my shoulders. “The thing is, I can’t stop thinking about you, Alex, and I just needed you to know that. I reckoned it was time for me to come and fight for something I really, really want.”

  I tried to keep my eyes firmly fixed on a button on his shirt, but there was no doubting the sincerity in his tone. I couldn’t stop myself from looking up at him.

  “You’re really sweet, Max, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.” I dragged my eyes away from his face; looking at those soft lips made me remember that kiss on the beach, remember how he tasted.

  He grimaced. “‘Sweet’ wasn’t really the word I was looking for. I was hoping for irresistible.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated lamely, mentally shaking myself. “But I love someone else, and that’s all there is to it.”

  His warm fingers traced a line down my cheek. “OK, I believe you.” He bent down and briefly kissed my cheek before stepping back, hands raised in surrender. “But I think it’s only fair to warn you that the fight isn’t over yet. I’m not giving up that easily.” His dark eyes twinkled. “You need to watch out, Alex Walker. I’m a man on a mission!”

  I quickly turned my attention back to the kettle so he couldn’t see the tears welling in my eyes. Tears that appeared from nowhere and which I didn’t understand.

  Thankfully Josh reappeared soon afterwards, so I could make my escape. He gave me a pointed look as I left the kitchen and I realised the two of them had clearly hatched the plot together. I’d thought it was only girls who did things like that. Ignoring my big brother, I made for the garden, walking down to the chair that was hanging from a sturdy branch in the shadows at the end. I really hoped that Olivia had disappeared after she left me, and hadn’t hung around to witness the scene with Max. I didn’t want her getting the wrong idea and telling Callum before I had the chance to do so.

  I called him as soon as I sat down. It was gloomy under the tree in the fading light, so I didn’t worry too much about anyone in the house seeing me talking to myself. There was no instant response and yet again I began to panic. What had she heard, and what had she passed on?

  “Come on!” I muttered to myself, willing him to appear. At that moment the tingle was back.

  “You’re very impatient this evening,” observed Callum, his voice even.

  The only thing for it was to tell him everything. “I’m just really glad you’re here. Max just turned up out of the blue with J
osh and it all got really awkward.”

  “Yeah, I saw him just now,” he said. “He’s sitting in your kitchen drinking a beer.”

  “Oh no, is he still here? I thought the two of them would have gone down the pub by now.”

  “You’re in trouble, Alex, you know that? You need to be careful.”

  I felt my mouth open wordlessly like a fish. There were too many possible ways in which I could be in trouble, and I had no idea which one he was talking about. Was he about to leave me because of Max? Were some of the Dirges coming to get me? Did he know about my conversation with Veronica? “What … what do you mean?” I managed finally.

  “Max. He’s pretty determined to win you over. I overheard a bit of their conversation as I came through.”

  “Oh. Really?” I tried not to sound relieved that it was only Max he was referring to, though that was bad enough. “What was he saying?”

  “He was telling Josh how frustrating it is that you are so loyal to your boyfriend,” he started.

  “Well, I am loyal,” I interrupted. “It’s perfectly true.”

  “But that as the boyfriend lives in Venezuela he reckoned it was worth another go.” I felt him stroke my cheek in exactly the same way that Max had done, only the touch was infinitely lighter. It made me wonder if he had been watching. “And that soon enough he’d wear down your resistance.”

  “He’s wrong, as you know.”

  “Don’t burn all your bridges, Alex,” he said in a voice so soft I struggled to hear it.

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “He seems to care, and he’s persistent. I guess he really likes you.”

  “So?”

  “I’m just trying to be realistic. Going to find Catherine is a wild goose chase, and even if you do track her down, there’s no guarantee she’ll give you the magic formula for bringing us all back to life. In the end, you’re going to help us die because you know that’s what we want. And when that happens you’ll be pretty upset, and it would be good to know that there was someone around to comfort you.”

  “Are you telling me to go out with Max?” I hissed. “That’s too creepy for words. And I don’t want him, I want you!”

  I felt the tiniest squeeze as his arms tightened around me, and to my surprise he laughed. “Good answer!”

  “Were you testing me?” I tried to turn the relief in my voice to outrage.

  “Oh, maybe just a little. Give me a break, will you? The guy looks like a male model.”

  “He’s not a patch on you.”

  “You poor deluded creature,” he answered, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I wished I had the mirror in my pocket to enjoy another look at his mesmerising blue eyes.

  “Did you see Olivia just now?” I asked. “I had to get her to go in rather a hurry, and I’m not sure she’s all right.” I didn’t want to spoil his good mood, but I was worried about her.

  “No, I haven’t seen her. Is she upset about something?”

  “She wants to know what’s going on. She’s heard the rumours going round over there and she’s fed up being treated like a child and having everyone exclude her from their plans.”

  “How did they find out about it so soon? That’s all I need. Anyway, there aren’t any plans, not yet.”

  “I know that, but she obviously thinks there are.”

  “Well, I wish she hadn’t found out. She’s too young to have to worry about all this stuff.”

  “Me, too,” I said with feeling.

  I felt his arms move around me. “Don’t let’s talk about this now. There’s no point. Let’s enjoy the time we have together.” I nestled back in his embrace and tried, unsuccessfully, to forget. Callum was gently stroking my arm when he suddenly stopped.

  “Oh, and guess what? I came across another of your admirers this afternoon.”

  I sat up in surprise. “Who?”

  “Rob. Yet another man captivated by your beauty and sunny temperament. Ow!”

  The swipe I’d aimed at his head had obviously found its target. Rob had very briefly been my boyfriend before I met Callum, and he had ended up working with Catherine to steal the amulet and sell its story to the papers. I had only just stopped him, and that was when I had inadvertently killed Lucas. In the fight Rob had lost all of his most recent memories but otherwise seemed OK. He had forgotten what a terrible boyfriend he’d been, and that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him any more.

  “So come on, where did you see him?” I asked impatiently, tapping my foot.

  “I saw him in the pub when I was on my way to the cinema. He was on the phone, talking about how he had been planning to ask you to go down to the place that his family had rented over the summer.”

  “Oh no, not that again. It’s such pain having to say ‘no’ to everything twice with him. Did he say anything else?”

  “Actually, he must have been talking to someone who knows you, because he said something like ‘When I bring her down you’re going to have to leave. Even if she’s your friend I want the place to ourselves, if you know what I mean’. It was perfectly clear what it was he had in mind. He’s a right charmer, isn’t he?”

  I agreed absent-mindedly. Something was niggling at me, something that was important. I searched back through all our mutual friends to see who the mystery person on the other end of the call might have been, what the link was, but nothing came to me.

  “Hey,” said Callum after I had been brooding on it for a while. “Come on, it’s not that important. Do you want me to start stalking him again? Not that I fancy the idea much.”

  “Nah, don’t worry, he’s not worth the effort. He’s not worth any effort, the little worm,” I added with some feeling. I was about to expand on that when Beesley leapt up and raced towards the house, barking wildly.

  “It looks like Lynda’s home and come to collect. I’d better go inside.”

  “Time for me to go and find Olivia then, make sure she’s done enough gathering for the night.” He gave another stroke of my hair. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be here, I’m not disappearing on my road trip just yet, not when I don’t know where to go.”

  “OK, till tomorrow then.” There was a brief silence, then I felt a gentle touch on my lips. “I love you, Alex,” he said quietly, and with a sudden flurry he was gone before I could reply.

  “I love you too,” I whispered into the gloom, before walking slowly towards the house where I could see Mum talking to Lynda. I really wished Rob would take a hint. It was so annoying that he couldn’t remember important conversations, or how abominably he had behaved, trying to lure me and then Ashley into his little love nest in Cornwall.

  “Cornwall!” I stopped dead in the middle of the lawn. Rob had been talking to someone about being in Cornwall. Could that have been a coincidence? Was it possible that he had been talking to Catherine? I ran upstairs, making my excuses as I went through the kitchen, and fired up the laptop. It was always grindingly slow in the evening, and I wished we had a faster Internet connection. I had checked Rob’s page when I had been looking for Catherine and there had been nothing useful there. Nothing had been added since then, and I pushed the laptop away in frustration. I was going to have to wing it.

  The easiest way of getting information out of Rob would be to tackle him face-to-face. It wasn’t a pleasant prospect but, given he still seemed interested in me, I had the opportunity of manipulating him to get what I needed. I didn’t even feel guilty at the idea: Rob definitely deserved it.

  Looking at my watch I saw that I might get him before he went out so I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and scrolled through the names.

  “Oh crap, crap, crap,” I said to myself as I realised it was yet another of the numbers I had lost when I’d drowned my phone. I had re-entered most of them, but I hadn’t expected to need Rob’s details. I looked down the list to try and decide which of my friends would have his number and wouldn’t mind giving it to me. Probab
ly not Ashley, I thought with a half-smile. Jack would be the best one, I realised. I pressed the number quickly.

  Jack was one of my oldest friends; our families had been socialising together since Jack’s brother and Josh had been in primary school together. He was currently going out with Grace, which I was delighted about. The two of them made a great couple and clearly adored each other.

  “Hi, Alex, what’s up?”

  “Hi, Jack. Oh you know, the usual. Not seen you for a while. I hope you’ve been behaving yourself while Grace has been away?”

  “Are you checking up on me?” he asked with a smile in his voice.

  “As if! I’m sure you’re looking forward to her coming back tomorrow even more than I am.”

  That was pushing him too far; he was never going to admit that, even to me. “Is it tomorrow? I’d forgotten.”

  “You’re such a terrible liar! Don’t worry, I won’t tell her how much you’ve been pining, I promise. I was just after a favour, actually.”

  “Really? You stun me. Come on then, what do you need?”

  “Rob Underwood’s mobile number.”

  That did stun him. “What on earth for? Have you forgotten all the grief he gave you?”

  “No, course not. I just need to talk to him, that’s all. Can you text me his number, please?”

  “OK, but be careful, Alex. He’s acting really strangely. That memory-loss business has messed with his mind.”

  “I will, don’t worry. So when are you and Grace off to the Gower?”

  “Later this week, so I’m sorry, you’re not going to get much time with her.”

  “I know, it’s all right for some, skipping from one holiday to another. I shall prise her away from you for at least one night out before you whisk her away though.”