Scattering Like Light

by S. C. Ransom

  She was probably about two minutes away at my fastest pace. There was no point in shouting; I didn’t want to startle her, so I put my head down and ran faster, leaping over the smaller gorse bushes and ferns where the path ambled away from a direct line. Sharp thorns pulled at my clothes and caught my skin but I didn’t slow down. Finally the gorse gave way to the close-cropped grass, and as I crashed through the last line of ferns I startled a small herd of sheep. Bleating loudly they scattered. Catherine turned automatically to see what was causing the disturbance, the purple mist shimmering around her like a cloak. I thought about not mentioning it, just greeting her like a friend, but I instantly knew that would be a mistake. I pulled up quickly, not wanting to frighten her into making any sudden moves.

  She was standing on the very edge of the cliff; one stride forward and she would be over the edge. From where I was I couldn’t see how far the drop was, but I could hear the angry crashing of the waves on to the rocks below. The noise was loud enough for me to have to raise my voice to speak to her.

  “It’s a bit wild up here,” I called, walking slowly forward and trying to catch my breath.

  Catherine ignored me, her gaze following the sheep that were still galloping along the cliff path. The purple cloud that surrounded her pulsed as if it were alive. As I got to within an arm’s length or so, she turned to glare at me. “I’m not going to jump, you know.”

  “I wasn’t suggesting you were.” I shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you were OK.” I hoped that she couldn’t hear the pounding of my heart after my sprint up the hill.

  “I just love your sudden concern. The minute you know that I’m prepared to help you, you’re all over me like a rash.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “I prefer to think of it as protecting my investment. Let’s be clear, Catherine. We’re never going to like each other, and this little truce is only until we both get what we want out of the deal. Agreed?”

  She inclined her head in a short nod.

  “And in the meantime, I can’t be bothered with your constant sarcasm. We have a long drive ahead of us and it’ll go much quicker if we’re civil.”

  The purple cloud suddenly pulsed with an angry red, but I stood my ground. “Truce?” I asked, holding out my hand, still keen to get her away from the edge. It would be like her to jump just to spite me.

  Catherine thrust her hands deep into the pockets of the shapeless cardigan she was wearing, but turned and took a step towards me. Finally she looked at me. “Don’t push it!” she snarled, walking past. “The best you’ll get is if I ignore you completely,” she called over her shoulder as she stalked back towards the house. Heaving a sigh of relief I turned to follow her.

  Catherine was as good as her word. She sat motionless in the kitchen while Grace and I tidied up from our impromptu sleepover. I was keen to make sure that when Rob’s family appeared there was no sign that we had ever been there. It didn’t take long, but by the time we were finished I was starving. There was nothing to eat in the house at all.

  “I’ll talk to her,” whispered Grace as we dumped the bags in the hall ready to leave. “She must have been eating somewhere. You load the car while I ask.”

  I heard the murmur of voices as I opened the door, and before I had stashed the bags in the boot both Grace and Catherine were coming out of the house. Catherine locked up and punched the code into the little security box, leaving the key inside. She then marched to the car and got into the back without a word.

  “Apparently Catherine has been eating at the hotel, but we might find something rather cheaper down at the beach.” I could see the gleaming art deco façade of the hotel further along the main road, and even from this distance it was clear that it wasn’t going to be a budget option.

  “Beach, I think. It would be nice to see it before we leave anyway.”

  “Good call,” said Grace, crashing the gears as we made our way out of the little close.

  The road down to the beach was steep and winding, and surprisingly busy given how early it was. As we rounded the corner we saw why: a vast expanse of sand stretched away to the left, and in the distance lines of surfers were bobbing on the water waiting to catch the next wave. There was a large car park and Grace nipped in quickly to grab one of the few remaining spaces. Coffee bars and surf shops were doing a roaring trade, and dozens of people were walking past in wetsuits carrying surfboards.

  “I think you might get your mochaccino after all,” I said. We chose the closest café and ordered cooked breakfasts. Catherine didn’t say a word throughout, just nodding when we asked her if she would like the same as us. It was really awkward at first, but Grace and I soon pretended she wasn’t there. We instinctively knew which topics of conversation to avoid, and spent quite a lot of time discussing the various people we saw walking down the beach with their boards.

  “If they do it on the Gower, I’m going to try surfing next week with Jack,” said Grace as she finished off the last of her fried egg by wiping a piece of buttered bread around the plate.

  “You’ll have to watch out if the sea air there has the same affect on your appetite as it does here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat quite such a huge breakfast.”

  “I know.” Grace laughed, sitting back. “I’ll be enormous if I eat that every day!” She stretched and reached for the last of her coffee. “Are you ready to go, Catherine?”

  Catherine had avoided eye contact the entire time we were sitting at the table, and she didn’t even speak then; she just pushed her plate away from her and got up.

  “I guess that’s a ‘yes’ then,” Grace muttered as we gathered our bags and returned to the car. Yet again Catherine positioned herself in the back, and immediately slumped down in the seat, folded her arms and closed her eyes.

  It was still reasonably early so the traffic wasn’t too heavy, and within an hour we were on the main road. I was trying hard not to get overexcited but I could hardly wait to speak to Callum. With Catherine’s help I was going to be able to set not only him free but all of the other Dirges too. I started to make a list in my head of all the things I needed to do to make the process work properly. There was a lot to cover, and I fished around in my bag for a piece of paper.

  “What are you writing?” asked Grace as I started to compose my list.

  “Oh, just a few things I’m going to need to do.”

  “It’s OK, I reckon Catherine’s asleep. I’ve been keeping an eye on her for the last half an hour and she’s barely moved.”

  “I don’t think it would matter if she did hear what I need to plan. She has to be part of it, after all.”

  “True. So what’s at the top of your list then?”

  “I need to phone Veronica and tell her we’re on our way. She’s the only one who knows what exactly it is we have to do, where we need to go, and stuff.”

  “OK, that’s pretty straightforward. What next?”

  “Depending on when we do it, I have to get the lifeboat guys on high alert. If hundreds of people are suddenly going to appear in the Thames they’ll need to be ready.”

  “That’s going to be a bit tricky, isn’t it? How on earth are you going to get them to believe you?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Perhaps I can ring the emergency services and say that I’m worried that my friend is about to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge into the Thames. Do you think that would work?”

  Grace pursed her lips as she considered the plan. “It might work. But whose name would you give them?”

  “I could make one up, or…” I gestured at the sleeping Catherine behind me with a nod of the head.

  “Yes, I quite like that idea. OK, what else is on that list?”

  “I need to talk to Callum. Just as soon as I get close enough to London. He needs to tell them all what we are going to try and do.”

  “Will they all agree?

  “I think so. They all seemed happy enough to let me kill them, or so Callum said, so I can’t imagi
ne that they will object to being given their lives back.”

  “You might be surprised.”

  The leaden voice from the back of the car made us both jump, and the car swerved across the carriageway. “Oh, hi, Catherine. Did we wake you?” said Grace as cheerily as possible as she straightened the steering wheel.

  I jumped straight in. “What do you mean? Do you think they don’t want to be alive?”

  “They’ll be like me. No memory, no money and no place to go. It’s not exactly ideal.”

  “But with that many of them appearing at the same time in the Thames, people will have to believe that something odd has gone on, and they’ll be able to help.”

  “By locking them into psychiatric hospitals like Veronica? Yeah, that does sound appealing. I reckon they’ll find being alive again worse than being a Dirge.” She made a short huffing noise. “Anyway, not my problem.”

  I glanced round: the purple mist was thick again, settling around her. “So what do you think we should do?”

  She didn’t respond, just folded her arms tighter and continued to pretend to be asleep. Grace and I exchanged a quick look, and Grace shrugged helplessly. We fell into silence as she continued to drive, the list of things to do lying unfinished in my lap. I stared out of the window, not noticing the wild countryside we were driving past. Catherine was absolutely right. The practicalities of the life that the resurrected Dirges would face were hugely problematic. The authorities were going to be deeply suspicious of all these people, none of whom had any sort of identity. True, there were going to be rather a lot of them, all saying the same thing, but at the end of the day they were going to need to find homes, jobs, friends. It was a huge task.

  I needed to talk to Callum about it. He would know the best thing to do. He could get Matthew to speak to all the Dirges and they could decide. Perhaps I could do it twice, once with Catherine and then again with Veronica, and give everyone what they wanted. The important thing was that I would be able to bring Callum over and we could be together forever.

  I made inane conversation with Grace to keep her alert as we worked our way up the M4 towards Swindon. The traffic had thinned out after Bristol so the journey was reasonably straightforward, but because of Grace’s driving it continued to be slow. As we approached the next services Grace pointed at the sign.

  “I’m going to have to pull in. I shouldn’t have drunk all that coffee earlier. Will she mind, do you think?”

  She nodded towards the back of the car, where Catherine still appeared to be asleep.

  “Oh, don’t worry about her,” I said as Grace manoeuvred into the right lane. “I could do with stretching my legs too.”

  The car park was packed with families all stopping for lunch, and it took us a while to find somewhere to park. Catherine pretended to be asleep until the engine was actually switched off, then opened her eyes and looked disdainfully about her.

  “I can’t believe how stiff I am,” said Grace, opening her door and easing herself out. She stretched out her arms and neck, and even in the noise of the car park I heard her joints cracking.

  “Oh, that doesn’t sound good.” I winced on her behalf. “I wish I could do a stint of driving for you, but I can’t.”

  “I know, it’s OK. You just carry on keeping me awake. I’ll get some more coffee while I’m in there if you want. Come on, Catherine, let’s move!”

  “I’m not moving. I don’t need the loo and I don’t want to eat anything they make in there.” She didn’t budge.

  “OK, suit yourself. We’ll be ten minutes. Don’t leave the car.”

  Grace motioned me to go with her. “Are you sure that’s sensible?” I asked. “She might disappear.” I looked back over my shoulder as we walked towards the building’s entrance.

  “I didn’t leave the keys in there and we’re in a service station. There’s nowhere to go except along the motorway. Relax, it’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not convinced. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on the car. I need to phone Veronica anyway.”

  I positioned myself so that I could see the front of the car, and tried to keep out of the sun. It had begun to get oppressively hot and I thought wistfully of the gentle sea breeze I had been standing in earlier. I pulled my phone out and scrolled down to Veronica’s number. She answered immediately.

  “Hi, it’s Alex. I’ve got some good news for you.”

  She sounded much more tired than she had before. “Really? Where are you? Did you find Catherine?”

  “Yes, we tracked her down last night. She took some persuading but she’s agreed to come back to London with us.”

  There was a brief silence. “Did you hear me, Veronica – Catherine’s going to help. They’ll all be able to live!”

  The voice that answered me was wary. “Can she overhear you?”

  “She can’t hear a word. What’s the problem? I thought you’d be pleased she said yes.”

  “Why is she doing it? What did you promise her?”

  “Money, actually. Everything that Grace and I could scrape together.”

  There was another moment’s silence as Veronica digested the information. “Don’t trust her, not for a minute,” she said eventually.

  “Why? It seems reasonable to me. She needs money.”

  “She’ll be bluffing you. I don’t believe for a second that she’s actually going to go through with it.”

  “I don’t think she has any other option. She has no friends, she’s terribly depressed and I think maybe it’s given her something positive to do.”

  “Well, I guess we should be grateful then,” Veronica said slowly, but I could hear the doubt in her voice. “I was worried about her motivation, but if greed is what drives her, then we should be OK. Just keep on your guard though. There’s something not quite right about that girl.”

  “Don’t worry, I will. So come on, what do we need to organise? We can actually do it now, can’t we? Save everyone, I mean. So what’s the plan?”

  I could almost hear her pull herself together at the end of the phone. “We need to get all of the Dirges gathered together in one place, in a long line with you at one end and Catherine at the other. But we need to talk to them first, make sure they understand what’s going on.”

  “That should be pretty easy; they’ll all be delighted. Catherine was bleating on about most of them wanting to die, but that’s just nonsense,” I said confidently. But there was another silence in return.

  “She’s right, you know,” Veronica said quietly. “Many of them may prefer to take the other option, you have to remember that.” She paused to let her words sink in. “We have to give them the choice. I was going to talk to you about this earlier but you shot off before I could speak to you. Personally, I think most of them will choose to die, and you will be doing them a great disservice if you don’t offer them the choice.”

  “Well, if that’s what some of them want then I guess that’s OK. The important thing is that I can save those who want to be saved. I can rescue Callum!” I was determined not to let her pour cold water on my plans. I hurried on. “So I need to talk to all the Dirges together, to give them a little while to think about it. My plan is to bring Catherine straight into London this afternoon, talk to them, and then get on with it. I don’t want to wait too long as I’m not sure how quickly Catherine will lose interest in helping, and I can’t hold her prisoner.” I paused for breath, my mind racing on to the possibilities of the evening ahead. Within a few short hours I could be sitting by Callum while they checked him out in hospital, holding his hand, kissing his lips… I brushed aside thoughts of where he was going to live and how he was going to get money, all those mundane trivialities. None of that was important in comparison to him being with me.

  “When can you speak with Callum and tell him what your plans are?” asked Veronica. “How close to London do you have to be?”

  “I can’t call him just yet; it’ll take him too long to get out here and back. I’ll call before Cat
herine and I get on the train in Twickenham.”

  “I’ll go to the cathedral and wait. I think today might be overambitious though.”

  “Well, that’s what I’m aiming for, even if we just rescue the ones who want rescuing first. You said that you and I could help the others without Catherine.”

  “I know what I said. I just need to think things through.”

  “All right, keep your phone on and I’ll call you just as soon as I can.” I clicked the phone off and looked around towards the service-station entrance. I really wanted Grace to hurry up, but everywhere was packed with people. She could be queuing for some time.

  Abandoning my little square of shade I walked slowly back to the car. I didn’t want to get in with Catherine until I really had to, but it was better to keep a close eye on her. I couldn’t fathom why Veronica was quite so dubious about Catherine’s involvement. Money seemed a perfectly good motivation for her, especially given the rate she seemed to be able to get through it, and I wasn’t going to let Veronica dampen my excitement. I was going to rescue Callum! It was real; the plan was coming together.

  My thoughts ran on to what was going to happen later, and when the phone rang I answered it automatically, assuming it was Veronica with more instructions. “Hi, that was quick,” I started, before realising that it wasn’t her calling.

  “Well, I did tell you that I was on a mission…” Max’s voice dripped out of the phone like honey. “I wondered when you were coming back to London. I’ve got tickets for the big concert in Hyde Park and was hoping you’d like to come.” He hesitated for a moment and then ruined his cool by adding, “Please?”

  I couldn’t help laughing. “Nice try, Max! But as I keep telling you, I’ve already got a boyfriend.”

  “But he can’t take you to the concert next weekend, can he? Why not come with me? I know you like the bands.”

  My good mood made me reckless. “Actually it looks like he might be here by then.”