Chaos in Mudbug (Ghost-in-Law Mystery/Romance Series)

by Jana DeLeon

  “That’s not why I’m here.” She pulled out her phone and stepped closer to the men. “Do either of you recognize this boat? A fisherman found it in a cove near Mudbug this morning. Looks like it got caught in the storm, but the damage left no way to ID the boat or the missing captain.”

  Both men narrowed their eyes and leaned over to look at her phone as she scrolled through the pictures. When she got to the last one, Peter shook his head.

  “I don’t recognize it. I’m not saying he’s never sold here, but he’s not a regular.”

  Bobby nodded. “It looks vaguely familiar, but then, it’s so torn up, I could be wrong. Like Peter said, if he’s sold here before, he’s not a regular.”

  “Thanks,” Jadyn said. “I’m going to talk to your dock workers before I leave. I won’t be long.”

  “Of course,” Peter said.

  Jadyn pulled a business card out and handed it to him. “If you hear talk, even gossip, of anyone missing, I’d appreciate a call.”

  He glanced at the card, then slipped it into his pocket. “Sure.”

  Jadyn turned around and cut her eyes at Helena on the way out the door. Helena nodded and remained in her spot next to the doorway. Something was off in that room. Clearly, the two men had been having a disagreement when she’d walked in, and maybe that was all there was to it. But Jadyn needed to be sure. Hopefully, they’d launch straight into whatever was creating all the tension and Helena would manage to get the story straight when she repeated it.

  She crossed the warehouse to the docks, frowning when she saw that the two boats that the dockworkers had been unloading earlier were pulling away. No fishermen had been unloading at the previous three shrimp houses, and she’d hoped to show her pictures to these men before they left. She chided herself for not stopping to ask on the way in, but professional protocol always called for talking to owners or management first before talking to employees. In the future, maybe she’d have to consider a lapse in professional courtesy.

  “Hello,” she called out as she stepped up to the dock. Both men gave her a wary look.

  “I’m the game warden in Mudbug,” she said, figuring they weren’t going to speak unless she asked a direct question. “We had a shrimp boat wash ashore this morning in one of our coves, and I wanted to see if either of you recognize it.”

  They looked at each other, then both nodded, so she stepped closer and showed them the pictures. When she was done, both men straightened up and shook their heads.

  “Looks sorta like Stumpy’s boat,” one man said, “but he was in here this morning getting gas, so can’t be him. Don’t know anyone else that has that framing.”

  The other guy was staring at the bayou, frowning.

  “Can you think of anyone?” Jadyn asked him.

  The guy jerked back to attention. “What? No, it’s not someone I know.”

  She glanced back to see Helena exiting the office and handed a business card to the first man. “If either of you hear something about a missing boat or fisherman, I’d appreciate it if you gave me a call. Even if it’s just a rumor.”

  They both nodded and she turned around, motioning to Helena to stay behind. Jadyn walked slowly across the warehouse toward the exit. The dockworkers weren’t arguing, but the same cloud of tension had hung over her entire exchange with them.

  She glanced back and motioned again to Helena, who was moving at what could only charitably be called a fast stroll. If the ghost didn’t get a move on, they’d be done talking before she got there.

  In hindsight, telling Helena to hurry wasn’t a good idea.

  Chapter Five

  As Jadyn reached for the exit door, she turned back to look just as Helena broke into a jog. She made only two steps toward the dock when her combat boots changed back to slippers. She hit the fish-covered deck, sliding as if she’d landed on ice. Jadyn sucked in a breath and prayed as she barreled, out of control, toward the dockworkers, waving her arms in circles.

  When she passed through the workers without incident, Jadyn’s breath came out in a whoosh, but she’d relaxed too soon. A second later, Helena hit the pile of fish and went solid, scattering the catch all over the dock. The two dockworkers whirled around and scrambled for the fish that were tipping into the bayou. Helena flopped around in the heap, floundering like one of the redfish and creating a bigger mess. Every time she rose part of the way up, she lost her balance and went sliding back into the pile, sending even more of the catch sliding toward the water.

  “Help!” Helena screamed. “They’re going to eat me.”

  “Grab those,” the first dockworker yelled, pointing at a group of fish headed toward the edge of the dock. The second dockworker scrambled for the runaways as the first dockworker tried to push them back into a pile with a push broom. But all he succeeded in doing was pushing the fish over Helena.

  “I’m suffocating!” Helena yelled.

  Jadyn clenched her hands and hesitated a couple seconds before opening the door. No matter how much she wanted to help, she simply couldn’t wade into the fray with the two dockworkers right there. What possible excuse could she give for getting into the middle of their work?

  “Jadyn!” Helena yelled as she flopped around once more. “I can’t breathe. I’m going to collapse.”

  A couple of fish slid over the edge and into the bayou, and one of the dockworkers bailed into the bayou after them. Jadyn made the split decision to pass off her interference as help and rushed over to the pile. She pushed two large redfish back to safety and yanked Helena out of the pile while the other dockworker was leaned over the edge of the dock, collecting fish from the worker who’d taken a dip.

  She went to the edge and grabbed one of the slimy catch as the worker handed it up to her and carefully tossed it back where the rest of the fish were scattered across the warehouse floor. The door to the office banged open and Peter and Bobby came running out. Jadyn straightened up and glanced back to see Helena stomping through the wall of the shrimp house.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Peter asked.

  “I don’t know,” the first dockworker replied. “We were just standing there and it’s like the pile of fish exploded. All of a sudden, they were sliding everywhere. Some went into the bayou and we went after them.”

  Peter looked at Jadyn, obviously skeptical of the dockworker’s explanation. “Did you see what happened?”

  “No, I was on my way out when I heard the commotion. I came back to help.”

  The second worker climbed back onto the dock. “Maybe one of ’em was still alive and flopped the pile loose.”

  Jadyn watched Bobby to see if he was buying it. The fish she’d grabbed was pretty frozen. She seriously doubted any of the pile could thaw and spring to life, but given that the dockworkers couldn’t see Helena, she supposed it was the only thing they could come up with.

  Bobby looked at the fish. “Whose catch was this?”

  “Leonard’s.”

  Bobby’s jaw tightened. “Did you get them all?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You’re sure? I’ve told you time and again not to let Leonard’s fish sit on the dock.”

  The man nodded, but Jadyn could tell he wasn’t sure at all. Leonard must be a piece of work if they were afraid of shorting him payment on a couple of fish. Probably a better idea was to just pay him for a couple more than what they had and call it an operating cost.

  “Then get these fish in crates,” Bobby said. “And stop stacking the piles so high. You’re supposed to be crating as you go.”

  Peter looked at Jadyn. “There’s a sink and soap near the exit door. I’m sure you don’t want to walk around smelling like redfish all day.”

  Although it was framed as concern, Jadyn knew a dismissal when she heard one. “Thanks,” she said and headed to the sink, where she attempted to scrub the offending fish smell from her hands. She could feel Peter’s gaze on her as she walked out the door minutes later.

  Helena was standing
next to the Jeep, staring down at her ruined pajamas. Jadyn could smell her from twenty feet away.

  “This probably isn’t going to come out,” Helena said.

  “No shit,” Jadyn said. “You’re wearing ghost pajamas. Can’t exactly drop those off at the dry cleaner.”

  Helena’s expression shifted from irritated to dismayed. “Darn it. Sometimes I forget things…you know. When I’m with people who can see me, it’s almost like I’m really alive.”

  “For those of us who can see you, you may as well be. Stop grousing like a child. Just wave your arms or wiggle your nose or whatever and change them out for a clean pair.”

  Helena brightened. “Oh yeah!” She closed her eyes and wrinkled her forehead and Jadyn waited, but after several seconds, the smelly, stained pajamas still remained.

  Helena opened her eyes. “It’s not working.”

  “What do you mean it’s not working? That’s not an option.”

  Helena threw her hands in the air. “What am I supposed to do? It’s not like there’s a set of YouTube videos on how to be a ghost.”

  “You’re not getting into my Jeep with those smelly clothes. I’d be sick before we made it a mile.”

  Helena clenched again, her face turning red with the effort, but not so much as a thread changed. “I can’t do it. It’s like I’m constipated.”

  Jadyn held in a groan. This is what you get for trying to solve Helena’s problems and make her useful.

  “Take them off,” Jadyn said.

  “What?”

  “See if you can pull them over your head and take them off.”

  Helena’s eyes widened. “All I have on under this is underwear and a sports bra.”

  Jadyn cringed. “I’ll have to manage.”

  “You’ll have to manage? What about me? I’m not going gallivanting around in your Jeep in my underwear.”

  “No one can see you but me. I’m the only one who suffers here, but I think the fish smell would be worse.”

  Helena put her hands on her hips and glared. “You think? Well, I used to think you were the nice one out of the bunch, but I think I’ve changed my mind.”

  “As long as you change your clothes along with it, we’re good.”

  Helena clenched once more and a vein popped out on her forehead. A couple seconds later, her breath came out in a whoosh. “It’s no use. I’m broken.”

  “Then take off the pajamas or stay here. I have a job to do and can’t stand here all day waiting for divine intervention.”

  “Do I have to?” Helena whined.

  “You’ve got one minute and then I drive away, and if you try to get into that vehicle in those clothes, I will shoot you.” Jadyn knew the bullet would pass right through the ghost, but gunfire always terrified her.

  “Fine. You’re the one who’ll have to live with this.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Jadyn grumbled.

  Helena pulled the offensive pajama top over her head, exposing the pink-and-black zebra-striped sports bra. Jadyn said a silent prayer that the underwear didn’t match but she hadn’t even gotten to the “amen” before Helena pushed the pajama bottoms down, bent over, and gave her a tent-sized view of the matching bikini underwear. She supposed she ought to just be happy they weren’t G-string.

  “What do I do with them?” Helena asked.

  Jadyn looked down and frowned. Sure enough, the pajamas were in plain view. “How is that possible?” Jadyn asked. “You created them out of thin air, and they weren’t visible before, but when you took them off, it’s like they became real.”

  Helena shrugged, jiggling her stomach rolls. “I’m just winging it.”

  Between the missing fisherman, the impending maybe-sorta-a-date dinner with Colt, and the odd vibes she picked up from Peter and Bobby, Jadyn already had more to think about than she could process. Trying to figure out Helena’s invisible then visible clothing situation would have to wait until she had far more time, energy, and patience.

  “Just toss them somewhere that no one can see,” Jadyn said.

  Helena picked up both garments, straightened back up, and flung them onto the roof of the shrimp house. Jadyn shook her head and climbed into the Jeep. A couple of seconds later, Helena hoisted herself into the passenger’s seat and Jadyn’s eyes watered.

  “The fish must have leaked through the pajamas,” Jadyn said. “I have no idea how it’s possible, but you still stink. How in the world can a ghost take on an earthly smell?”

  “I’m not taking off my underwear. Everyone has a line and that’s mine. Besides, this is all your fault anyway…telling me to hurry. I don’t do hurry.”

  Jadyn grimaced. As if the scene in her passenger’s seat wasn’t bad enough already, Helena had to go throwing even worse disasters into her mind. “Then ride in the back.”

  Helena stared. “Seriously?”

  “Either you ride in the back, or I have to stop every mile or so to get ill. I need you downwind.”

  “Then take me back to Mudbug.”

  “I don’t have time. Work? Missing person? Any of that ringing a bell?”

  Helena stood on the passenger’s seat, then attempted to slip between the front seats and into the back, but halfway through, she got wedged in between, her pink-and-black-clad butt perched right in Jadyn’s face.

  “Help me,” Helena said. “I’m stuck.”

  “You have got to be kidding me.”

  “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

  “Then get ready to push because I’m only doing this once. On three.” Jadyn turned in her seat so that she could get better leverage, then lifted her hands in front of Helena’s rear and tried not to cringe.

  “One. Two. Three!” Jadyn planted her hands on Helena’s butt cheeks and shoved as hard as she could. Her hands sank a good inch into the flab before she got results, but finally, Helena popped out from between the seats and fell onto the floorboard in the back. She flailed around a bit but managed to crawl onto the seat.

  Finally, she huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. “With the way you’re treating me, I shouldn’t even tell you what I overheard.”

  Jadyn perked up. “Did Peter and Bobby say something after I left?”

  “Oh, they said plenty. Mostly about someone named Leonard, who Bobby thinks is a problem, but I meant the two guys with the stinky pile of fish.”

  “What did they say?”

  “One said the boat looked like Clifton’s. The other said Clifton’s boat didn’t have flooring that color. The second guy accused the first guy of being color-blind. Then I hit the fish and that was it.”

  Jadyn glanced at the fish house and saw the pajamas starting to slide down the tin roof. She needed to get out of there before she raised any suspicion. She put the Jeep in gear and headed across the parking lot. As she turned onto the road, she looked to her left and saw Bobby exiting the shrimp house, slamming the door behind him. The pajamas lost their last grip on the edge of the roof and plopped right onto Bobby’s head.

  Helena set up a howl as Bobby whirled around, pulling at the offending garments and only managing to wrap them tighter around his head. Jadyn floored her Jeep and sped away, determined to be out of Bobby’s line of sight when he got the pajamas off his head.

  When she got to the junction of the road and the highway, Jadyn pulled into a convenience store parking lot and stopped at the far end.

  “Are you going to get me a snack?” Helena asked. “I might be able to forgive you a little if you bought me Twinkies.”

  “No.” Jadyn pulled out her cell phone and called Shirley. “I need to see if you can track down an address for me. I only have a first name—Clifton—and he probably lives somewhere near Pirate’s Cove.”

  “Let me take a look,” Shirley said. A couple seconds later, she said, “There’s a Clifton Paschal near Sinful, but he’s ninety-two and disabled. Probably not our fisherman.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “Just a sec…one more. A Clifton Vines. Fifty-t
hree.”

  “What’s the address?”

  “Box 65, FM 1168.”

  Jadyn grabbed a pen out of her glove compartment and jotted down the address on her map. “Great, thanks.”

  Jadyn hung up the phone and located the farm road on her map. “It’s not that far away, but with all the winding roads, it’s probably a twenty-minute drive.”

  “I’m not traipsing naked through the swamp.”

  Jadyn sighed. “You bitch more than any twenty people, you know that? I’m going to start calling you Queen of Complaints.”

  “Oh, I see. I’m the problem. So you wouldn’t complain if you were parading around in broad daylight wearing only your underwear?”

  “If no one could see me, I’d consider it an expedient way of getting out of doing laundry and be happy as a lark.”

  Helena shook her head. “The longer I’m around you, the more I can tell that you and Maryse are related.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment. Look, I need to get a water, so I’ll pick you up some Twinkies, but that’s the last I want to hear about this. No one would be happier seeing you clothed than me. Maybe while I’m in the store, you can figure it out.”

  Jadyn hopped out of the Jeep and went into the store. She pulled a cold bottled water from the cooler and grabbed a package of Twinkies on her way to the register. A couple minutes later, she strolled back to her Jeep, where she took one look at Helena and promptly dropped the package of Twinkies.

  Helena still wasn’t dressed, but her outfit had changed. A giant, sparkly crown rested on top of her head and a white sash with red letters across it proclaimed her “Queen of Complaints.” The ensemble was polished off with the silver scepter she clutched in her left hand.

  Helena looked over at her and if looks could kill, Jadyn knew she’d be six feet under. “Not one word,” Helena said.

  “But?”

  “Ssssh!” Helena held up a hand. “If I could fix it I would.”

  “So take it off.”

  Helena threw her hands in the air, pushing the scepter to the sky like she was commanding rain to fall. “I’ve thrown this thing on the ground at least ten times.” Before she even finished the sentence, she flung the scepter past Jadyn and it shattered on the concrete, but when Jadyn looked back at Helena, another perfect scepter had taken its place in her hand.