Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  If she bit down any harder on that lip she was going to draw blood. Maybe I wanted her to draw blood so I could wipe it away and then lick it from my fingers. Hopefully that would put her in the same tailspin I was in just watching her contemplate. “It’s dangerous, Marcus. I probably shouldn’t.”

  “I’ll go slow.” It was a lie, I had no intentions of driving at a Grandpa’s pace, but I could promise her that I’d never hurt her. At least not on the bike. If I could just promise her—swear to her—that I wouldn’t break her heart then she would be mine.

  Her eyes lifted up from the ground and when they reached mine I knew I’d won this tiny battle. “Okay. Why the hell not?”

  We watched one of the Harley reps roll the bike off set and through the doors at the back. Without saying anything, hoping she would just trust me, I put my hand out for Tessa to hold. She hesitated for a split second, staring at it—her last chance to say no. But she didn’t.

  “God, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said, entangling her fingers with mine.

  I led her outside, smiling to myself. I couldn’t believe she agreed to it so easily either, but I wasn’t complaining. I could think of a million reasons why the hell she shouldn’t get on, but all things right and good were erased from my mind as we snapped on our helmets and geared ourselves up for the ride.

  “Slow down! You’re going too fast!” I screamed over the revving of the engine and the breeze that had picked up the pace of a tornado. My demand came from a place of pure morality, but if I had to be honest, I was absolutely loving the exhilaration.

  “Hold on, baby,” he shouted over his shoulder.

  And I did. I wrapped my arms in a vice-like grip around his middle and dug so tight I could feel the ripples of his chiseled abdomen underneath the cotton of his pullover. Instead of decelerating, he twisted the throttle and revved the gas. I braced my head against his back and closed my eyes, preparing for an inescapable collision. Everything about Marcus Grayson was reckless and he was taking me down with him.

  I stayed glued to him for a while, until I felt the bike start to slow and veer off to the right. We hadn’t even reached the bridge so I didn’t know why he was exiting the expressway. “Where are we going?” I spoke in his ear.

  “You’ll see.”

  He pulled off the expressway and took on a slow, steady pace as he eased his way through the winding streets. At each traffic light, he let his hands fall from the leather-fringed handlebars to tangle his fingers with mine. It felt so intimate, so natural, to be with him this way. Though we didn’t speak, many unspoken words were being said.

  When we came to a stop at a secluded spot off a cobblestone path, I gaped at the magnificence of our surroundings—a quiet, serene sanctuary nestled in the heart of the busy, bustling city. “Where are we?”

  He lifted the helmet from his head, shaking out his hair, just like the director had instructed him to do on the shoot. Marcus was always on, playing the game. I hated to think I was just a pawn.

  He did that thing where he could read my mind again. “Stop thinking. Just come here.” He spun himself around on the bike so he was facing me. With a gentle tug at the straps, he undid my helmet and hung it on the handle bar opposite his.

  “Marcus, what are you…”

  “Shh…” he placed a finger over my mouth while his other hand combed out the knots in my hair. His eyes never left mine, even as he inched closer to me, closing the small distance between us on the seat of the bike. “I’ve been thinking about doing this all week.” The desire radiating off him was maddening. His pupils were so large and dark, I could almost see myself in them. This man was intimidating. Holy shit—it was the craziest turn on.

  “What? Straddling me while straddling a Harley?” I started to laugh, my nervous twitch of a coping mechanism, but his lips quickly silenced mine. His tongue ravished my mouth, hungry for more of what we’d started last weekend. I, too, had been thinking about this all week. Even though I tried to avoid it, pretend it hadn’t happened at all, I only made it worse. Now I was starved for what I denied myself. The soft, throaty vibration of the motorcycle beneath us wasn’t helping things either.

  “Marcus, please.”

  “Please what?”

  I wanted to say please stop. Tell him this was wrong. That we couldn’t continue stealing moments like this. But the way he growled out his question had me responding with a different answer.

  “Please… touch me.”

  “Fuck, Tessa. I thought you’d never ask.” His hands slid under the tight hem of my skirt, gliding the fabric up so it bunched at my hips. I arched back against the seat rest and allowed his fingers to travel where they wanted to go. When they found their way inside my damp panties, I was already trembling in anticipation of his touch.

  “Where do you want me to touch you exactly?” he teased.

  Forcefully, and without shame, I placed a hand over his and pressed it hard against my sex. “Here. I want you to touch me here.”

  His gaze found mine again, his breathing deep and heavy, his eyes dark as coal. “You’re fucking incredible, Tessa.” His lips crashed down over mine again as his fingers pushed aside my panties and slipped into me slowly. The sensation of his rough, deft fingers inside my body and the humming engine against my sensitive flesh caused me to writhe in sweet agony. As I rubbed against his hand and the leather of the seat, I leaned into our kiss as if I could swallow him whole.

  “Mmmm, Marcus.” I quietly moaned against his mouth as he inserted another finger inside and circled his thumb against my throbbing clit.

  “Come for me, pretty girl. Come undone for me.”

  His words ignited the fire tugging at my core, aching to be released. Clenching the seat behind me for support, I lifted my hips off the bike and allowed his fingers to finish what they’d started. It was unnerving how much control he had over me, and how easy it was to give in. It was something that frightened me because of my past, but at the same time liberated me from all the things that always held me back. Never in a million years could I have placed myself in this scene, fooling around on the back of a Harley with Marcus fucking Grayson.

  I cupped my hand behind his neck and pulled him down to me. I didn’t want to scream out in the open where a wandering ear could hear, so I drowned out my cries in his mouth, as I came undone for him, just as he demanded.

  We remained forehead to forehead as our ragged breathing evened out and the last tremor passed through me. When he backed away to survey me, I felt a twinge of embarrassment and allowed myself to glance up through hooded lids.

  “Look at me, Tessa. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

  I lifted my ass off the seat to readjust my skirt, but his hands were already working the fabric back down to its rightful place. “They need to show that in their ads. Supply would not be meeting demand… they wouldn’t be able to make the bikes quick enough.”

  I giggled against his chest, warmed by the way he could put my mind at ease. “You were supposed to take me home, not take advantage of me, Marcus.”

  “No, I asked you if you wanted a ride. And a ride is what I gave you.”

  He never missed a beat. He was a cunning little fucker. I could be sly too. “What about you? You didn’t get to do much… riding.”

  He leaned down and picked up both helmets and handed the smaller one to me. I followed his lead in strapping it on. When his was fastened, he kissed me on the tip of my nose before whispering in my ear, “Don’t worry. I’ll get my ride next time.”

  For the rest of the way home, I lay against his back, lulled by the rhythm of the muscles falling and rising with his breath and flexing each time he tightened his grip around the handles.

  I’ll get my ride next time. His words made me want to ride him right then and there. So, how was I going to tell him there shouldn’t be a next time? That the further we traveled down this road, the more trouble we were getting oursel
ves into? I wasn’t capable of anything right now – my heart just wasn’t ready. And from what I knew of Marcus, the heart was the last part of a woman’s body he was interested in.

  He could charm the pants off anyone. Yes, Marcus was smooth and he was slowly making me think we could actually become more than friends. But that’s what a player was notorious for. And as much as I enjoyed this ride, and the idea of more to come, I realized that it was nothing more than a joy ride.

  This should be where we called it a night. We were at her place. She would hop in her car to pick up her son and I’d have to wait for another stolen moment, another chance like this to spend more time with her.

  Nah! I wasn’t having that. I’d gotten another taste of Tessa and I wanted more. Why the fuck couldn’t I fight this feeling of wanting more?

  She removed the helmet and her curly blond waves fell back in place as she smoothed out her skirt, biting her lip. Seemed she was just as apprehensive as I was to say goodnight. So why not put her out of her misery?

  “I’m kinda hungry, Tess. Want to grab a bite together?”

  Handing me the helmet, she gnawed on the inside of her mouth, considering my invitation. “I don’t know. I can’t be late to pick up Luca and he’s not exactly on his best behavior in a restaurant. He’s used to it just being him and me.”

  That may have been her way of saying ‘no thanks, leave us alone’ but I saw it as a reason to get the little dude acclimated to having someone else around. If I wanted to win Tessa over, I’d have to start with her heart and Luca was the biggest part of it.

  “Ah, come on, Tess. The little guy seemed to like me the last time we were together. We bonded. We can call for take-out if you think he’ll be better in his own element. I’m cool with that.” Anything to spend more time with her. To figure out what all these… feelings were about.

  “Okay. Why not?”

  Well, fuckin’ A. That wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought. Maybe I was growing on her.

  “Why don’t we go inside? I’ll change, you can order and then I’ll go get Luca man.”

  My eyes focused on her ass, my mouth starting to water. “Do we have time for a quickie?”

  She scowled over her shoulder while opening the door to the house. “Marcus! Really?”

  I raised my hands in defense. “Really. No joke. You got me all hot and bothered… writhing and moaning and…”

  “Enough. You are insufferable. Am I ever gonna live that down?”

  I shook my head, smiling so big my face hurt. But I didn’t like how she was making light of our little bike ride. For me, I was one step closer to opening her up and making her realize we could cross the friendship line that was starting to blur. To her—I had no idea what all of this meant to her.

  She tossed her bag on the couch and kicked off her shoes. “Make yourself at home. I’ll be right down.”

  The girl I was falling for slowly turned away from me. I knew she was only going upstairs to change and that she would be right back, but something unexpected tugged at me. I felt that if I let her go right now without saying something, I’d regret it.

  “Tess?”

  “Hmm?” She stopped on the third step to look back at me.

  “What are we doing?” It pained me to ask so bluntly. I hated putting her in this position. I hated being in this position. I’d never given a shit what came next with a girl and now I needed to know where we were headed.

  “We’re having fun, Marcus. This is all just a lot of… fun.” She turned back around, holding onto the wooden railing and making her way up the stairs.

  When I was certain she couldn’t see or hear me, I clenched my fists and bit down on my bottom lip, then mumbled, “What the fuck? Fun? You are one infuriating woman, pretty girl.” Was this how all those random girls felt after I’d had them for a night? What a sickening dose of retribution this was.

  After calling for pizza and pointing me toward plates and utensils, Tessa left to pick up Luca. I found myself wandering, admiring her home, and trying to figure out who Tessa Bradley had become since I’d known her as a teenager. Pictures of her between her parents on her graduation day and then at what looked like a family vacation in a tropical destination painted her as a devoted family girl. But I knew from Riley that Tessa’s parents had taken retirement to a whole new level when they packed up, picked up, and hauled it ‘cross country to warmer weather in Arizona. My dad got under my skin—a lot—but I couldn’t imagine him being a whole plane ride away. I wondered how Tessa felt about being all alone, fending for herself.

  But viewing the pictures of her son scattered across the walls, the mantle, every imaginable surface you could find—they made me realize that she wasn’t alone at all. I wondered then how it felt to love a child of your own, to understand that bond a mother felt with her son. I’d known one side of that and I missed it every single day. And just like me, Luca was lucky to have one hell of a mother fending for him. Everything about her made it clear how special she was. It warmed my heart… and it took a lot to do that.

  After passing a room cluttered with so many toys and baby-like apparatuses that it made my head spin, I spotted something in the corner of a sitting room that instantly piqued my interest. I walked over to the lonely guitar and dusted it off. “Something as pretty as you shouldn’t be ignored.” I picked up the vintage Gibson Hummingbird and strummed a chord. “Shoulda known.” It was completely out of tune and sounded like it actually hurt to be played. I brought it over to the couch, cradling it—this baby needed some attention. I sat down to fuss with the tuning pegs.

  When I finally got it to sound the way it should—effortlessly harmonious and naturally beautiful—Tessa walked through the door with Luca on her hip. “Where’d you find that?” she asked as she shrugged the baby’s tote bag off her shoulder and plucked off his tiny shoes.

  “What ever happened to ‘honey, I’m home’?”

  Tessa shook her head at me and Luca crawled his way over. “Hey buddy, how was your day?”

  Tessa sat down next to me on the couch, relaxing into the soft cushions. “He was a good boy, as usual. Unlike you… Mr. Mischief.”

  Confused, I searched her face for an explanation, as I strummed another chord. “Me? What’d I do now?”

  She took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “That,” she pointed to the guitar. “I haven’t picked it up in years.”

  “Yeah, I can tell. Why the hell would you neglect her like that?” I stroked the front of the guitar, looking at Luca and making a funny face, sticking my tongue out. “Let me guess, little man came along and you became too preoccupied?”

  Her leg started to bob up and down and she swallowed hard. “No. Nothing like that actually.”

  Body language was giving her away. She was uncomfortable, hiding something, and she wasn’t going to elaborate.

  But I wasn’t ready to change the subject. “I didn’t even know you played. Is it something recent or…”

  “I always played. Loved it, in fact. Riley used to beg me to sign up for amateur nights at Tony D’s. I wish I’d done it then, when I had the chance to experience the thrill.”

  Her gaze was far off now. It bothered me to see her so lost. “Why’d you stop, then? I mean… it’s obviously something you regret. There’s no reason you can’t do it now.”

  I watched her eyes darken and when she shut them and took in a deep agonizing breath, I realized I struck some kind of invisible chord. And not the kind that produces pretty music. This one conjured unwanted memories.

  She bent down and scooped Luca up, smothering him with kisses. “I don’t want to talk about this. Right Luca?” She smooched her son until his cheek was red and irritated then looked at me as if we hadn’t been talking about something that rocked her core. “Pizza should be here soon, want a beer?”

  I looked up at her, fighting the urge not to pry it out of her and then promise to comfort her. Instead, I carefully placed my fingers on the neck of the guitar and dragged the
other hand across the strings, plucking out the opening bars to a song that I knew would lighten the mood and make her smile.

  And that it did. The saddened expression on her beautiful face turned in an instant as she giggled and swayed with Luca in her arms. “Oh my God, I love this song. Keep playing.”

  I continued the easy melody, remembering days of Riley and Tessa belting it out from her room. I didn’t understand the lyrics then, but I certainly wanted to sing them to her now—maybe even get her all hot and bothered… again. And I was really curious to know if she, too, like the girl from the song, only came when she was on top.

  As we ate and played with Luca I watched the clock, praying this kid wasn’t the kind to stay up all hours of the night. I wanted Luca tucked away in his crib so I could have alone time with his mommy.

  I hoped I wasn’t being too presumptuous, but we were having a good night and I sensed that the walls she’d built around her were slowly starting to crumble in my presence. I could be the friend she relied on—maybe even more—if only she’d just let me.

  I wanted to know what made her so sad, what made her stop doing something she loved. I wanted to learn more about her and why she chose to stay away from her family now that she was no longer married. But most importantly, I couldn’t wait to get my hands—and my tongue—all over her gorgeous body.

  I rocked Luca to sleep while listening to the peaceful sounds of Marcus and my old guitar downstairs. Holding my son close to my chest I silently sobbed, wishing my life could have been different—good, like right now. Instead, I was all screwed up, jaded and broken, with no foreseeable way to fix it.

  Nights like this reminded me how I’d wanted things to be, how they should be. They reminded me how unfair life could be, too. Why did Luca’s father have to be such a hateful bastard? Why did I allow him to ruin my idea of a happily ever after? And why, for the life of me, did I feel like I was losing control again? Forget that Marcus and I shouldn’t be… dabbling… the way we were. We were having fun, maybe even more. I loved the idea of dating someone, especially someone I knew wouldn’t hurt me, but Zack had left me incapable of trust. I gave it all to him, even when I didn’t trust myself to do so, and it was the stupidest, most dangerous, mistake ever. Thankfully an angel came out of it, but that was all I had to show for years of taking Zack’s shit and never saying anything about it. That and the tears that just couldn’t stop themselves from flowing right now.