Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  “Fine.” He bent down to kiss me on the mouth. He lingered a little longer than I thought he would, but then again he was proving a point.

  When he was gone, I joined a now-calm Riley at the kitchen table where she was babbling to Luca.

  “Hey,” I said, breaking the ice.

  “Yeah, hey, that’s not gonna cut it. I can’t believe you two. I really can’t. He’s bad news, Tessa. He’s just gonna hurt you.”

  I knew she meant well, but I was tired of her thinking of me as some fragile victim she had to look out for. I knew Marcus differently now. I was no longer afraid regardless of how much she forewarned me. “Drop it. Please? I understand where you’re coming from and I appreciate it with all my heart, but I like being with him.” It was so much more than like but she didn’t need to know that yet. Too much, too soon might cause her to freak out again.

  “Ridiculous,” she mumbled as she shook her head. “I just can’t see how—”

  “Riley,” I inched closer to her, locking my eyes on hers, “leave it alone. Now,” I inched back, feeling victorious. “What did you barge in here ranting about before you started your tirade on me and Marcus? I gave you that key for emergencies, is there something you need to tell me?”

  There was no hiding the shift in her appearance. Her rigid features softened as her face grew flushed, her cheeks red with embarrassment. This was Riley’s walk of shame. “I—shit, I was so dumb.” Her head drooped into her hands, her fingers covering her eyes. “I slept with Beck last night.”

  “You sure you’re okay with driving up alone? It’s a long ride. What if Luca gets cranky?”

  “Marcus, I can handle him, been doing it alone for a while. He’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

  I hated when she said things like that. I knew she was used to doing things on her own and raising her son alone, but what if she didn’t have to worry about that now? I could step up to the plate—I wanted to be that permanent fixture in her life, the person she always relied on.

  Resting the phone between my shoulder and my ear, I continued unloading the grocery bags onto the counter hoping that I stocked up on enough for all the guests. “Listen, babe, just promise me you’ll call me from the road if you have any issues. I’ll meet you and come to your rescue.”

  “My hero, as always. Thank you, Mr. Chivalrous. I’ll call from the road. Need anything while I’m out?”

  I counted the packages of hot dogs and hamburgers, mentally picturing how there would be no room on the grill for all this shit. “Nah, I think we’re good. Just get your fine ass here so we can have some alone time before we’re surrounded by all the annoying naysayers.”

  “Screw the naysayers. I thought that was our new motto?”

  She was right. We survived almost a whole week of Riley’s lecturing and nonsense. You’d think I was a serial killer the way she warned Tessa about me. And Tessa should only know how weak and fragile Riley saw her. I kept dodging an earful of my sister’s incessant concerns about how sorry she felt for Tessa and everything she went through with Zack. How broken and vulnerable she was. If I had to remind Riley one more damn time that I would protect Tessa and make her happy I was going to drop kick her. “Okay, fuck ‘em. To hell with them all!”

  “That’s the spirit. Now let me finish packing so I can get on the road already.”

  “Okay. And pretty girl, pack that black thing you wore the other night. Can’t stop thinking about those garter belts scraping the sides of my face while I—”

  She laughed, cutting me off before I got to the good part. “Yeah, yeah, I get the idea. I’ll call you soon.”

  I hung up, packing a hard-on and a smile. Shit was finally how I wanted it to be with Tessa—carefree, consistent and out in the open. Beck was floored—and still skeptical—when I told him that Tessa and I were officially a couple, but I couldn’t wait to show her off this weekend to all the guys. She was one hot woman, even while toting an infant on her hip. I knew that would raise some disapproving brows, but let them say one damn word about the situation—I’d rip someone’s head off. Along with the ‘screw all the naysayers’ motto, I was becoming pretty fond of ‘shut your mouth and mind your business’.

  The car pulled up to the house with the unmistakable sound of crunching gravel. It was still light out and the sweltering heat was relentless, even this late in the day. I walked out onto the porch to welcome my girl and her little boy and felt something unfamiliar wash over me. As she stepped out of the car in her green sundress, her usually long curly hair blown out straight, my heart thumped in my chest. I was proud—that was the feeling. Proud that this beautiful girl belonged to me and entrusted her life, her son, and her happiness to my hands. It would be a lie if I said it didn’t scare the shit out of me and that I wasn’t afraid I’d fuck it all up, but I would try like I had never tried at anything before in my life. She was worth it, even if it meant undergoing a total one-eighty on my part.

  Shit, I had my work cut out for me.

  “Good evening, pretty girl,” I sang as I strolled down the pathway to greet her, taking it all in.

  “Good evening, gorgeous,” she replied back with a quick kiss on my lips as I threw my arms around her waist. She stood back and scanned my body, my clothing, my face, as she bit her lip. When she pulled away to open Luca’s car door I quickly jumped in front of her.

  “Yeah, not so fast. You can’t look at me like you want to eat me alive and then just go about your business.” I snatched her by the wrist and brought her close to me again. She looked breathtaking today—the color of the dress and the style of her hair accentuated all the things that made her a natural beauty. I leaned down and claimed her mouth, feeding the hunger I always felt for her. Her tongue tangled with mine, but only as a tease. She broke the kiss before we got carried away since she had to tend to Luca. Our kiss was a quick fix, but it didn’t do the trick. It was impossible to tame myself around her—even with Luca nearby—but we couldn’t just drop everything and screw like bunnies whenever we wanted. Being a parent meant putting your own needs aside—something Tessa, Riley, Beck, every goddamned person I knew—warned me about. It was hard not to be selfish, but this was part of dating, right? Living in the real world, out of the cocoon of the bedroom, and making it work with all the outside factors involved.

  “I can’t wait for him to go to sleep tonight.” I whined.

  “Complaining already? I just got here. You’ll have a house full of people this weekend, how do you intend on getting through it?”

  She was right. Suddenly I wanted to call off the whole party and lock us away for the weekend with a bonfire for two and a blanket on the dock to watch the fireworks. “Fuck!” I growled, just thinking about it. “This’ll suck, but you’d think you could make it a little easier on me by dressing in something frumpier.”

  “What? This?” she pulled at the hem of her dress. “Oh, you’re in for it if this is what gets your juices flowing. Wait until you see the skimpy bikini I packed for the party. Very patriotic. Just picture it: stars and stripes—well two teeny stars for up here and a few rows of stripes to cover part of my ass.” She grabbed her tits and then caressed her ass for affect.

  Holy shit. My jeans became tight trying to confine the swelling. How was I going to keep my rage in check? Every single male attendee would be eyeballing her and, worse, trying to pick her up. “Is it too soon to get a tattoo across your forehead that says ‘Marcus’s girl’?”

  She threw her head back and laughed, a contagious, hearty, you-make-me-happy laugh. “Yes, too soon. And don’t go getting all possessive on me. You know I think there’s a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s creepy.”

  Stupid me, hashing up old issues. But I didn’t want to own her the way Zack wanted to. I would never stunt her from being the incredibly special person she was—Zack took that from her. Fucking asshole. I just wanted to own her heart. Okay, and maybe her slamming body, too.

  “Let me get your luggage, you go on in and
get Luca settled.”

  She paused for a second before heading toward the house. I wondered if she was contemplating where to unpack her things. The last time she was here she used the guest room, this time I hoped she’d stay with me. “Hey,” I called from inside the trunk. “I was thinking—”

  “Oh, so that’s what I smell?” she pinched her adorable mouth into a wicked grin.

  I tilted my head, ignoring her joke. “Will you stay with me? I mean, you know, in my room? Just seems weird for you to be sleeping somewhere else now that, well, now that we’re together.”

  “Together.” She smiled as she tasted the word, played with it. She bounced Luca up and down on her hip, chewing on the inside of her mouth. I wish she didn’t have to think about this. “What about little man? I was going to set up the portable crib in whatever room I stayed in. I’d feel funny having him in our room while we—”

  At least it was clear she wasn’t depriving me of anything this weekend. That made me smile. Meeting her on the path, I ushered her along to the house. “Why don’t we set him up in one of the guest rooms tonight and see how he does alone? See how comfortable you are with it, too. I wasn’t planning on having many overnight guests on the Fourth—just Riley, Beck and his girlfriend, Marissa, but there’re plenty of other rooms and couches for people to crash without disrupting Luca.”

  “I don’t know, Marcus. I think I’ll be more at ease if he sleeps with us when the other guests are over. No offense to your friends, but I don’t know them and I’d feel safer with him close to me.”

  It wasn’t an outlandish request, and yet it wasn’t the most feasible, but I would have to get used to sharing my special lady with Luca if I wanted this to work. “Okay, sounds like a plan. But I can’t lie—” I bent down and whispered in her ear, “I’m happy the little bugger will be out of earshot tonight. I have plans for you.”

  “Don’t you ever get enough?” She ogled me with a devilish glisten in her eye. I could see right through the modest act. She loved that I was insatiable when it came to her.

  “I already told you the answer to that. I get hard just thinking about you, pretty girl. But seeing you in this dress, smelling the sweet addicting aroma that is you, and just being this close—I think I just came in my pants.”

  “Marcus!” She slapped me on the arm.

  I laughed as I escorted her into the house with my hand at her back.

  As she crossed the threshold and looked back at me her lids were hooded, her eyes darker than usual. “You have the same effect on me, baby,” she whispered. “My panties have been wet since I pulled up to the house.”

  My eyes bugged out of my face at her admission. She was so sexy when she talked dirty, and it was even better when we weren’t having sex. “Okay, Luca man. Time to get ready for bed.” I tickled under his chubby chin and he dribbled happily.

  “Fat chance, buddy. He slept a little in the car. You’ll have to be patient. But don’t worry, I’ll make it worth the wait.”

  We ate an early dinner together—well Tessa and I ate while Luca made a mess. She told me she was introducing new foods to him, little by little—something apparently every parent knows, but I just thought you fed them on demand, whatever they wanted. Here, kid. How about peanut butter and jelly and diet coke? Today was his first try at pasta with sauce and he was wearing the sauce… all over.

  Tessa stared at him like he was a spectacular sight, laughing and cooing while she tried her best to clean him up. I understood it, and sure, Luca was one awesome little dude, but A) I wanted to get in his mother’s pants sometime tonight and he was preventing that right now. And B) how could the sight of tomato sauce hardening in crevices and curls and underneath fingernails make her feel anything but… disgust?

  “How do you do that?” I asked.

  Swiping a wet cloth across Luca’s filthy cheeks, she questioned, “Do what?”

  “That.” I pointed at the glob of sauce encrusting his left eye. “See past the gross and just… I don’t know, love him so unconditionally?” Was I digging below the surface with a hidden meaning? Maybe. But in truth I was in awe of Tessa and how she loved. Maybe I wanted that to rub off on me. Maybe I wanted a little of that unconditional Tessa love, too.

  “I don’t know,” she said, shrugging and yawning. “I just feel blessed. Plain and simple. I would do anything for him. Anything…” She trailed off with another yawn.

  “Uh, oh, that’s two yawns in five seconds. I can’t have you falling asleep early. I’ve got too much planned, pretty girl.” I stood up, going over to the sink to get some more paper towels to help her out and then I had an idea. “Hey, why don’t you let me get this? I’ll finish cleaning him up—it’s safe to use Windex on his skin right?”

  “Marcus!” She tilted her head smiling.

  I bent down to her adorable pout and stole a quick kiss. “I’m joking, Tessa. I’m not a complete idiot and you’re exhausted. Go take a little nap and rejuvenate yourself for… later.” I raised my eyebrows up and down, letting her know exactly what my intentions for later were.

  “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind? Luca and I are pals. We could use some guy time. Right, buddy?” A smile crept across my lips as I looked at his sauce-stained face. I was slowly starting to understand—even if it was only a teeny fraction of what his own mother felt for him. He really was an adorable kid, and as much as I thought of him as a hindrance to my alone time with Tessa, I seriously liked having him here, too. He was a part of Tessa. That’s all that mattered.

  “Go on. Go up to the bedroom and relax. I got this. I want to take him out on the dock to see the stars. Maybe it will make him sleepy.”

  Tessa put the last of the dinner plates in the sink and came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my chest. “You’re incredible. You know that?”

  “Remember those words.” I turned around to face her, then dipped down and nibbled on her earlobe, whispering, “I’m incredible at a lot of things.”

  With a kiss for each of us, Tessa retreated to the bedroom and I straightened up, nodding my head. “Yup. Just you and me, kid. Want to help me set up my surprise?”

  Luca kicked his feet, excited. I knew he couldn’t answer me back, but his excitement was enough to make me think he understood. “Little man, I have it bad for your Mama. I think I’m falling hard.”

  Luca seemed to approve, because for the next hour he was my sidekick… like literally attached to my side because I couldn’t put him down. I told him stories about our summers here—ones that included his Mommy, ones about my own. Sometimes having someone to just listen was better than anything else. As his lids became heavy, it was a comfort to know that my voice soothed him, and it made me happy to know that if Tessa and I were headed in the direction I hoped, I’d have Luca as an added bonus.

  When Luca finally went down for the night at almost ten o’clock, I nearly fist pumped and did a jig. Tessa would be a few minutes getting him tucked in and herself ‘freshened up’ so I took the opportunity to put my finishing touches on everything.

  Never one for the romantic stuff—well there was never a reason to be—I did my best at the boyfriend thing. There was no denying we had a strong sexual connection—I was about to implement that theory on her in a few minutes. Eventually, I’d have to dig deeper and show Tessa who I was—more than just a superficial model that was good in the sack. I knew she was already seeing past that, but I needed to keep it on the surface so she wouldn’t forget.

  Earlier with Luca, I had set up a cozy spot for the two of us on the dock. The candles and the portable iPod speakers were already in place with a few blankets and pillows scattered to make us comfortable while we stargazed and sipped on her favorite wine. I wanted her to know I was paying attention while we were spending time together—learning her favorite foods and music. There was still a lot to uncover about the remarkable Tessa Bradley, but what I knew already was what kept me coming back for more.

  When eve
rything was in place the way I wanted it, I ran back into the house to find her. When she walked out holding her Gibson guitar and wearing not a single stitch of clothing, I thought about forgoing the entire star-lit picnic and just pouncing. “Wow,” I gawked, pretty sure my chin was touching the floor.

  “You’ve seen me naked before, Marcus.”

  “Yeah, but something about you like that… holding that guitar… you gonna play for me like this, pretty girl?” I inched closer to her, my fingers aching to touch her.

  “Will it fulfill a fantasy?” She backed away and lifted the guitar, stringing the strap around her neck. When she let go it hung at her belly, leaving her gorgeous tits exposed but covering parts of her I wanted to stare at a little longer.

  “With you, Tess, I’m always fulfilling a fantasy. I want to go outside. Here,” I said taking off my t-shirt. “Even though it pains me to cover up a piece of art so fucking beautiful, put this on and we’ll continue this fantasy dock-side.”

  “Your wish is my command, oh sexy one.” She bopped her head like that chick I saw in re-runs of that genie show, and I was suddenly eager to see her head bopping up and down in other places.

  Once on the dock, her face lit up like one of the flickering candles. “Wow, you did all this for me?”

  “Mmmhmmm,” I murmured against her neck, snuggling close with my arms encasing her delicious body. “Anything for my girl.”

  “You sure you’ve never dated before? You’re really good at this boyfriend thing.”

  “Mmm. Is that what I am?” I smiled against her ear, so happy to hear that word from her lips.

  “I thought that’s what you wanted. I hope I wasn’t being too presumptuous.”

  I spun her around and cupped her flawless face in my hands, looking into her deep blue eyes. “This is what I’ve wanted—from you—for a lot longer than I’m willing to admit. You make me want so many things; to be a better man, to have someone to call my own, to settle down and think about the future. I know you have this preconceived idea of who I am and it doesn’t help that Riley’s been force-feeding you her version of things, but with you—baby, I don’t think you understand what I’m willing to do to make you happy.”