Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  The drink Marcus had made me was still sitting there untouched so I picked it up and took a sip. Staring past Riley to the house, my thoughts wandered. He must really be pissed to leave his party and his guests for this long. Had I overreacted? Should I go apologize? Before I could make my decision, Riley was blabbering.

  “He’s breaking up with Marissa. He wants to give us a shot. He says that he can’t stop thinking about me and that—Tessa are you listening to what I’m telling you?”

  I was listening but it was hard to pay attention. I was worried I’d made a mistake by not going after Marcus. He seemed really hurt and I knew if it were me, I’d want him to follow me and make me feel better about the situation. But with Riley in my face, waiting for acceptance, my search for Marcus would have to wait another minute or two, or forty-five, knowing Riley.

  “Yes, I hear you. Sounds wonderful—if that’s what you want.”

  Her nose turned up and her hands did that thing they did—flying all over the place—when she had a point to prove. “What do you mean if that’s what I want? I really like him. I’ve kind of always had this thing for him, but after that night. God, Tess, he’s really freaking good in bed.”

  “That’s not going to keep a relationship afloat. And you’re okay with him just breaking up with Marissa and ending a two-year commitment because the sex was good? How do you know he won’t do that to you down the road?” I knew this wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was what she needed to hear. And fuck it, after all the shit she put me through with Marcus, she needed brutal honesty.

  “You’re just getting back at me for what I did to you and Marcus. That’s really messed up, Tessa. Can’t you look past that for a minute and be a real friend?”

  “Below the belt and not true. I’m not saying this stuff as retaliation—even though it’s ironic, isn’t it? But I’m just laying it all out there like a good friend would. Weren’t you trying to be a good friend when you told me to stay away from your brother, or was there some other motive behind it?” This was going nowhere, fast, and I could tell it was aggravating Riley.

  “What would be my other motive, huh? I don’t want to see you get hurt, bottom line. You’ve been through enough and I know my brother. I know what he’s capable of and saving you and raising Luca—I don’t see it, I’m sorry. And this thing with Beck is totally separate from you and my brother—the two have nothing to do with each other. I want to see where this goes and I just want you to be happy for me. I don’t need your approval, I don’t want your advice, I just want you there along for the ride. Is that so much to ask?”

  I looked at her, nodding my head up and down with widened eyes. “Egg-fucking-zactly!”

  “Holy shit!” she whispered, bringing her hand up to her mouth. The fire in her eyes died down to a tiny flicker. She finally understood. “I’ve been such a bitch. I’m sorry, Tess.”

  “No, not a total bitch, but yes, you’ve been driving us crazy. I know it’s weird and unconventional, but we fit together, Ry. It just works. Well, it did work up until a few minutes ago.”

  “What’re you talking about?”

  I peered down into the almost-empty cup, thinking of what I’d say to Marcus when I found him again. “We had a little argument and he stormed off, really pissed. I think I need to go apologize, but Luca’s all cranky and he needs a nap and I’m—”

  “Give me Luca and go find your man. I owe you.” She winked at me and I knew all was forgiven. This would no doubt still have its awkwardness, trying to maintain the facets of our old friendship between the three of us and incorporating the new dynamics of a blossoming relationship, but we’d be good. I just knew it. Riley had my back—through thick and thin. I could count on her stubborn ass to keep all of us in check when the going got tough.

  “Thank you, Ry.” I stood and kissed her on top of her head. “And I’m sorry for giving you the third degree about Beck. I think you guys make a cute couple.” I turned to walk to the house, kissing Luca on the cheek, and then looked over my shoulder to Riley again. “Oh, and sex with a younger man—they never get enough. It’s amazing!”

  She threw a rolled up napkin at me before leaning down to pick up Luca. “I draw the line at sex talk about my brother. Period. The end.”

  “Fine,” I giggled as I walked away. I’d take it if it meant she was off my back. It was a huge relief—it almost made me forget why I was angry at Marcus in the first place. I couldn’t wait to tell him that Riley was finally over it.

  I searched the whole downstairs first, knocking on a locked bathroom door, but he was nowhere to be found. I figured the dock was usually the place he went to clear his head, but with so many people around, he was probably upstairs in his room, cooling down.

  I bounded the steps two at time, eager to tell him about Riley’s acceptance, willing to admit I was stupid for being jealous. I took a pit-stop in the upstairs bathroom to relieve myself and freshen up just in case Marcus was up for some quick make-up sex. Knowing him, I wouldn’t even have to ask.

  With one hand on the doorknob, I adjusted the tiny triangles that held my boobs, lifting them to plump up my cleavage. No matter how pissed he was, he wouldn’t be able to resist boobs in his face. But when I swung the door open, there were already a pair of very perky boobs pressed up against him. And they weren’t mine.

  My eyes focused only on the girl—Skylar—and how her hands were ravishing Marcus’s body, her lips devouring him. Her claw-like hand hovered over his bare chest, creeping its way inside his swim trunks. They were leaned up against his dresser, one of her bronzed legs already tangled around his waist.

  Son of a bitch! I didn’t even know how to react. I wanted to run away, pretend I didn’t see it, disappear without being noticed, but that was a cowardly way to handle it. The same way he handled being hurt.

  “Wow!” I blurted out.

  Marcus pushed Skylar off him and his eyes went wide when they met mine. “Tessa, it’s not what you think.”

  Talk about cliché. “Nice, Marcus! Real nice. One little argument and you go fucking around. Everyone was right about you and once again, I’m the asshole.”

  I spun to leave, never even making eye contact with that sleazy slut. She was more his type, more his pace. No baggage, no responsibilities—the perfect antithesis to me.

  When I went to slam the door shut behind me, I felt his strong grip at my wrist. “Please, Tessa,” he pleaded. “I swear to you, I wasn’t doing anything. It was all her. She came in here and tried to—I wasn’t doing anything!”

  I didn’t turn to face him. I couldn’t let him see me cry. This was mortifying, completely devastating—I trusted him, against my better judgment and here I was, another Marcus Grayson groupie, fucked-over and heart broken. “Leave. Me. Alone,” I mustered through quivering lips. I yanked my arm from his grip and flew down the steps.

  “Wait! Please don’t do this!” Marcus shouted as he followed me down the steps and into the living room.

  People were staring and I had no intention of giving them a show. So instead of fighting back, I simply ignored him. He didn’t deserve the satisfaction and I didn’t want to make myself more a fool than I already had.

  But as if on cue, the whore came sauntering down the stairs, wiping the smeared lipstick from her face, and smoothing her hair back in place. The picture couldn’t have been painted more perfectly for our growing audience. And guess who still looked like the asshole?

  “Tessa, you have to believe me.” He rushed toward me, grabbing my shoulders with force and trying to pull me close.

  I struggled, resisting, while heat in the form of fear rose through my core, up my throat, to my face, terrifying me. This was too reminiscent of my nightmares with Zack; where he’d shake me by my shoulders until I feared my brains would scramble, bouncing around in my skull. “Stop it! Get off of me! You’re hurting me!” I cried, the tears running down my face now.

  Realization registered on his face, all color drained, his hands fallin
g to his sides. “No, baby. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you—I’m not him. Please, I’m so, so sorry.”

  I stood there, cradling myself with so many unfamiliar eyes scrutinizing me. I blocked out the words coming out of his mouth, the idle “are you okays?” from the strangers witnessing my vulnerability. Someone must have stepped out and mentioned there was an altercation because Riley whooshed through the back door, holding Luca, ready to put out a fire.

  I pummeled past Marcus and rushed over to her, near-blinded by the flood of tears. Snatching my son, I whispered, “I’m leaving.” She tried to speak but I didn’t let her. “I. Need. To. Leave. Please just pack all my stuff with you and bring it when you come home. I’ll pick it up from you this week.”

  She looked so confused. I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t stand here for one more minute. “What? Tess, what the hell is going on?” Her eyes darted from mine and then behind me to her brother. I didn’t follow her gaze to see his expression, but I didn’t have to see it to know that Riley was piecing it all together. “You son of a bitch!” she screamed before she flew past me.

  I stood tall, ignoring the throbbing ache in my chest and the judgmental eyes and just left. Strapping my son in his seat, I got in the car, drove off, and left my heart on that living room floor to continue being stomped on.

  “You proved them all right today. Thank you very fucking much.”

  Walk away, Marcus. Just walk away and maybe the hurt will disappear. It usually worked, but somehow this was way different. I couldn’t avoid the way my chest tightened around my heart, trying to protect it from shattering. But I would make sure Tessa couldn’t see the pain. She couldn’t see how her doubt in me was tearing at my insides.

  As I trudged past the people crowding the patio and mingling inside where it was cooler, my mind raced. What more did I have to do to prove to her that I was changed? My eyes never roamed, not even once, today. The shit with Skylar was unexpected, but totally out of my control. And Tessa’s accusations, the ones that put her in agreement with Riley—it fucking hurt like hell to think she would never be able to see past my reputation and take us seriously.

  I needed to be alone. To think. My head had never felt so flooded with emotions before, not even when—but this was different than losing someone for good. She was still here, in the flesh, and knowing there was a possibility that she didn’t want to be with me anymore— “Fuck!” I cursed as I slammed the door to my room and punched my fist into the solid oak dresser. My knuckles instantly swelled, but the pain surrounding my heart still overpowered the blow to my hand.

  Why was this so difficult? It seemed simple enough to me. We were good for each other, regardless of our pasts. You didn’t see me second-guessing every little thing she did because she had a kid, or was a little screwed up because of her fucked-up ex. No! I was willing to work around all that, to help her through her issues and welcome Luca into my life. What the fuck more did she need from me?

  Nursing my hand close to my chest, I walked over to the bed—the one I shared with Tessa like a normal couple for two whole magical nights—and slumped onto the mattress. No sooner did my head hit the pillow, when I heard the knock at the door. I jumped up immediately, hopeful that it was Tessa coming to find me. Coming to apologize and tell me she wasn’t giving up on us. “Come in,” I called out and watched the door inch open.

  I felt my body wilt, as I exhaled a long puff of air from my nose. “What do you want, Skylar?”

  She walked in, unwelcomed, closing the door behind her and leaning up against it. “Now that’s no way to treat a guest, is it?” She tilted her head, narrowing her gaze on my hand. “Ouch. I saw you two arguing, and then you stormed off, but what happened here?” She made her way to my bed, pointing at my throbbing fist.

  “It’s nothing. As a matter of fact, I was just headed downstairs to get some ice on it.”

  “Why don’t you let me take a look at it first, huh?” the mattress dipped slightly with her weight and her hands reached to touch mine. I recoiled, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “Relax, Marcus. I just want to see your hand. I’m not gonna bite.”

  My muscles tensed from her being so close and not wanting her here. Irritated, I clenched my fist tighter. “Shit!” I winced from the pain. My hand was probably broken. What a fucking idiot! Violence would surely win Tessa over, stupid asshole.

  “That’s bad, City. You’ll need to get it looked at. By a doctor.”

  I stood up, brushing past her and ignoring every word she said. It was probably another dickish move to be angry with Skylar, but I couldn’t help it. “You need to leave. My room, the party. Just go.” I spoke to myself in the mirror, never turning to face her, but I felt her presence coming up behind me.

  “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” She pouted.

  “I’m sure you didn’t, but you did. And I have to go back out there and fix it.” This was stupid. I had a house full of guests and I was up in my room, with Skylar, sulking over something that could be fixed. I should be sulking over the condition of my hand, which was getting increasingly more painful by the second, but my mind was on one thing and one thing only.

  Getting back to Tessa.

  I turned to walk away, but Skylar had me cornered, her hands secured to the dresser, caging my much larger body with her tiny frame. All I had to do was move and I’d be out of her hold, but I gave her the chance to do the right thing.

  Wrong move.

  “What’s she got that I haven’t, huh?” she whispered, her lips grazing my ear. “Does she fuck you as good I do? I came back for more. Are you going to deny me?”

  With my good hand, I pulled the hair at the nape of her neck and tilted her head so she could look at me. “Enough. I have a girlfriend and… this… is not happening.”

  “Mmm, I love it rough,” she purred. “And the girlfriend thing—bullshit. I know your kind. You like variety—it’s the spice of life.” Her eyes danced with mischief. I guessed she wasn’t used to hearing no. “Come on, City. I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.”

  I pushed past the pain in my hand and reached behind me to remove her hands from their grip on the dresser. She beat me to it and forced her fingers in my hair and her mouth over mine. My brain tried with all it’s might to tell my body not to react—and it was doing a pretty good job—until her leg flung around my waist, her core grinding against me as her hand started to creep into my shorts.

  Just then, the door swung open and what I saw next made my heart implode. No! This can’t be fucking happening. I pushed Skylar to the other side of the room, and rocketed toward Tessa. “Tessa, it’s not what you think.” What a dumb thing to say, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

  “Nice, Marcus! Real nice. One little argument and you go fucking around. Everyone was right about you and once again, I’m the asshole.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, her face devoid of all the color she soaked up in the sun today.

  Her hair whipped around as she turned her back on me, leaving the room. I stopped the door mid-swing, running up behind her, gripping her waist. “Please, Tessa. I swear to you, I wasn’t doing anything. It was all her. She came in here and tried to—I wasn’t doing anything!” My voice was shaky and choppy, not my own. Emotion poured out of me like a sieve, it was uncontrollable.

  “Leave. Me. Alone,” was all she said, never looking back at me, but jerking her arm from my grip before she disappeared out of my view.

  “Wait! Please don’t do this!” I pounded down the steps, calling after her.

  Heads turned, all eyes on us, but I didn’t give a shit. For all I cared it was just the two of us in this house right now. I couldn’t let her think the worst of what she saw. But then Skylar pranced down the steps, wearing a shit eating grin. Great! Just fucking great! If I saw this I’d be thinking exactly what all these people must be thinking.

  “Tessa, you have to believe me.” I ignored all the disapproving eyes, rushing to her. Forgetting abo
ut my hand, I grabbed her shoulders, digging my fingers into her skin. I couldn’t let her go. No. Not without explaining myself.

  I opened my mouth to start my plea, but the expression on her face stopped me. It ripped my heart out too.

  “Stop it! Get off of me! You’re hurting me!” Tears ran down her face, her body shook in my hands.

  Oh, no! What the fuck did I do? “No, baby. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you—I’m not him. Please, I’m so so sorry.” Oh my god, there was no coming back from this. She was petrified. I did the unspeakable—dredging up painful memories and stooping down to an animal’s level. I dropped my hands to my side, frozen, afraid to even be too close to her. The blood drummed so loudly in my ears it was deafening. I never wanted to hurt her, never imagined she’d look at me as if I were a monster. I was speechless, motionless, there was no way to redeem myself for this.

  Riley came pummeling through the sliders and into the living room, toting Luca. Tessa jetted over to them, ripping Luca from Riley and saying something inaudible. I didn’t need to hear her though, her body language said it all. She was done. We were done. I’d lost everything because of one momentary lapse of sanity.

  “Tess, what the hell is going on?” Riley shouted before taking an inventory of the room—the crowd, Skylar, me. When her eyes met mine, I saw fire. “You son of a bitch!” She lunged at me. “What did you do? I knew this would fucking happen. I knew it!” Her finger pounded into my chest, but it wasn’t more than a mere tickle compared to the overwhelming pain that impaled me.

  The sound of crunching gravel and tires peeling out drove the knife deeper, spreading the wound, inflicting more excruciating torture. She was gone.

  I took a moment to collect myself. The heat in my veins coursed through me, but my breathing was finally steady again, my heart no longer threatening to pound out of my chest. “Skylar, go the fuck home. You’re not welcome here.” It was the first thing I said before pushing past Riley and running out to the porch. “Fuck!” I growled, feeling helpless. I would never catch her on foot. I needed to drive. I had to follow her.