Not Your Average Princess

by Kylee Kosoff

  I snorted. What a funny question! “I was surprised when you didn’t figure it out. Why would the infamous Captain Hook be so desperate for a princess? Yes, my brother took everything from me; but the truth is—he freed me! Life as a pirate suited me. It wasn’t long until I had a more booty than any king. Women weren’t an issue, in fact; I had sworn off love. I was free, the master of my own fate! The ocean was my mistress, and that was enough.”

  “Then what changed?”

  I held up my hook. “Peter told me of a metal stronger than anything in this world something that would make me invincible. I hunted it down and fashioned this hook to replace my old one. I was an arrogant fool, and he tricked me. The metal was cursed. The moment I replaced my old hook with this one, I couldn’t get it off.”

  “It’s stuck?”

  “Yes, I’ve tried everything I could think of cutting even burning, but nothing worked.” I pulled my shirt sleeve up exposing my curse.

  Grim gasped.

  “The metal spreads like poison. It’s slow but very efficient. Eventually my entire body will be encased in metal. It draws me to the sea, and no matter what I attempt once the metal consumes me—I end up at the bottom of the ocean. The worst part of it is that I am completely conscious, trapped in a metal body, and drowning over and over again. It’s like that for five years, I’ll drown until the metal recedes. Then I have one month to break the curse before—before I’m down there again.”

  She was gaping at me.

  “So now you know Henri was my last chance.”

  “But what about next time? Surely there’ll be another princess.”

  Hook laughed darkly. “There isn’t a next time! In order to break my curse, I need a true princess: the first-born daughter of an original Grim character. Henri’s the last true princess—she was my only chance. And I ruined it.”

  Grim

  Hook abruptly passed out after his drunken confession.

  My heart broke for him.

  Authors did everything in their power not to become overly attached to the characters. Especially Grims. If you’re not attached, it makes it easier to focus on the story. But when you’re attached, you care—you care about your character’s hopes and dreams. And you want them to have that stupid happy ending.

  For a Grim, it’s practically a rule to not care about the characters. We’re interested in the story not the ending. Caring about characters leads to sappy, cliché paperbacks.

  But I couldn’t let the story end this way. I liked Hook, and he deserved better.

  Sure, he was a jerk twenty-three hours of the day. He was frustrating as writer’s block; as sarcastic as the voices inside my head; but he was an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone.

  I sighed wearily. There was only one thing to do because there was only one girl who could break Hook’s curse. I had to kidnap Henri. Even if I lost my job doing it, I was going to get Hook his happily ever after.

  Henri

  I sat on my coffin-shaped bed—Dracula is the only villain who can make a comfortable bed, but he just can’t lose the coffin shape.

  My room was in an old mine shaft. It was one of the few rooms in the Wicked Mountains that had a view. I could lie back on my bed and stare up at the stars.

  A pixie trapped in a jar flickering different colors lit the room. She was red at the moment because she was quite angry. Red tends to be their go to color. My very own mirror on the wall hung next to my spinning wheel.

  Mayfly curled next to me.

  I stroked her black scales, “You don’t just want me because I’m a princess?”

  She purred.

  “Good because you’ll never get Krunchy Knights if you do.”

  She rolled onto her tummy clearly wanting a belly rub.

  I obliged her for moment. “You could do this all night, couldn’t you? But alas, I’ve got to get some sleep.” I tapped the pixie jar.

  My disgruntled pixie flickered for a moment before the light snuffed out.

  In a matter of minutes, I was asleep. I woke up confused—I thought I heard something. Looking around, all I could only see a darkness so thick it looked like fog. Feeling cold, I searched for my blankets; I must have tossed away in my sleep.

  I felt the presence of another in my room. “Daddy?”

  “Sorry, Princess,” A stranger’s voice replied.

  Panicking I grabbed the closest thing, I could find the lamp. I opened my mouth to scream, but suddenly I was surrounded by dark shadows. The lamp was ripped from my grip—and an arm grabbed me.

  “Help!” I screamed before a hand covered my mouth. My heart felt as if it would explode. I tried to fight—to free myself, but they were stronger than me. I felt a blinding pain as one of the men hit the lamp over my head. Trying to stay conscious, I fought to scream, to bite—anything—but darkness overwhelmed me.

  Chapter 13: Rakish Rouge

  “A ship at harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.”

  —Author Unknown.

  HOOK

  I groaned. My head throbbed while my stomach wanted to hurl its contents. I breathed sharply trying to quell the effects of rum. I barely remembered Grim, but I hoped it was just a nightmare. Surely, I wouldn’t have told her my darkest secret? I heard a scream. Grinding my teeth together, I grabbed my cutlass and walked onto the deck.

  My rambunctious crew crowded around something that was not their post.

  “You useless scallywags—”

  When they saw their captain, they jumped back revealing what had captured their attention: Henri lying there in a fetal position.

  “Get back to work!”

  They scampered off, and I bent to scoop an unconscious Henri into my arms. I kicked the door to my cabin open, and gently placed her on my bed. I locked the door and stormed across the deck where a grimacing Grim stood. “What have you done!” I shouted.

  “I did what was necessary,” She snapped.

  “Kidnapping her?” I growled.

  “Yes, especially since she’s the only one who can break your curse.”

  My vision turned red. “Get off my ship!”

  “I’ll let you have your way for now.” She disappeared before my eyes.

  “Get back to work, you mangy dogs!” I snapped at the few crew members who were brave enough to watch my personal drama enfold.

  This was the last thing I needed. I had said my goodbyes to Henri. I had accepted my fate, but now she was on my ship. A traitorous part of me was thrilled because she had woken up a part of my heart that I had truly thought lost. But despite the stirrings in my heart I was a pirate, all I would do is ruin her.

  HENRI

  My head hurt, and I winced. The sun was shining brightly. Wait a minute— the sun never shone brightly in the Wicked Mountains. Did I fall asleep in the woods again—the truth crashed around me—I had been kidnapped! I bolted out of the bed that I had spent the rest of the night in. It wasn’t coffin-shaped which could only mean one thing: I wasn’t in the Dark Forest Republic.

  The room was made out of a sturdy, dark wood, and the only window was a porthole. I gulped. Standing on my tiptoes I peered out of the porthole.

  Bright blue water waved back at me.

  My heart was beating a mile a minute. I was on a ship. And there was only one man that I knew owned a ship: the devious Captain Hook. I bolted from the bed.

  Hook had kidnapped me because he was desperate. He wanted a happily ever after so badly that he would do anything. If he was this desperate would he force me to marry him?

  I shivered in fear. I had to get off of this ship. I heard footsteps at the door. I tensed as the door creaked open and he walked into the room. I looked around trying to find something to defend myself with, but there wasn't enough time.

  “You’re awake.” Was that relief in his voice?

  I didn't reply. My muscles tensed waiting for whatever battle awaited me.

  “Henri, don't be afraid of me,” he said sounding almost hurt. He reached his
hand toward me, and I flinched.

  “Stay away from me!”

  Hook raised his hands as if I were a wild animal. “If that is what you want,” His voice was soft. His stance relaxed, but his eyes were alert. Watching me carefully, his hand twitched toward his sword.

  “Put your weapons on the ground and kick them to me!” I demanded.

  He smirked. “Wary, are we?”

  “Shouldn’t I be?” I asked trying to keep my voice as nonchalant as his.

  “Not at all. Are we not old friends?”

  “Old friends don’t kidnap each other.” I spat.

  “Kidnap! What are you talking about?” he asked genuinely confused.

  “You kidnapped me!”

  Hook

  I knew that this must have looked like that.

  She knew my ulterior motive or at least half of it.

  I’d hurt her more than I'd realized, and any trust she'd ever had in me shattered.

  She had every reason to think the worst of me.

  Heck, if I was in her shoes, I’d think the worst of me too. “I’ll have Jack bring you some food,” I said gruffly.

  I turned to leave, but Henri grabbed my arm. “Hook, take me home. Please!” her voice was desperate.

  I sighed. I couldn't take her home. I was out of time. The metal from my hook was already up to my elbow; in two weeks, I'd be on the bottom of the ocean with no hope of escaping. “I can’t,” I told her wearily.

  “You simply don’t want to!” Her gaze told me what her heart felt: she hated me.

  “If only that were true. Good day, Henrietta.” As I walked out of the door and locked it, I heard a crash.

  Clearly, she had thrown something at me.

  I smirked before I remembered that she hated me. “Curse that woman and what she does with me.”

  “C—cap’n?”

  “What?” I asked Smee.

  “What’re your orders for the girl?”

  “Keep her well fed and locked in that room. I don’t want to see her. And the crew’s not to touch her.”

  “But if’n you don't see hers hows you sposed to break the curse?”

  “I’m not.” I growled. “Now get back to work.”

  “Yes’ir.” Smee looked disheartened at the thought of my demise.

  GRIM

  This gigantic mess that I created is exactly why authors don't meddle!

  Hook had given up. He wasn’t even going to try to break the curse.

  Henri hated him. She had been guarded before, but now? There was no way she’d make the same mistake.

  I can’t find a way to fix this! Maybe this story is a tragedy. Maybe Henri's right, and fairytales don't exist. This story is turning into a tragedy, and I hate writing tragedies! I have to fix this story! But how! Everything I’ve tried has failed terribly.

  We’re worse off than when we've started.

  There’s got to be something, some way to make Henri fall in love with him. Despite all her bluster, Henri wanted to be loved. She said she didn’t want a fairytale because she wanted something real, something more.

  Hook needed to stop thinking that he could force a happy ending. He thought that if all of the right pieces fell into place, everything would be right. He thought he could ignore his past and stay the same. He had to change.

  What could I do?

  I could use a sleeping potion. Hook—still cursed. But after five years he could kiss her with true love’s kiss! Scratch that, they don’t love each other.

  Maybe Rumple Stilskin could help—what could he even do? I don't have any babies lying around.

  Or I could use a fairy godmother. But Bipidi Bopid Boo couldn’t fix this mess. And besides she’s never forgiven me for the pumpkin incident of 1975. We’re not getting into that.

  Wait—I need to think. Ah ha! I’ve got it—Peter Pan!

  Hook might never forgive me, but characters and authors never get along anyway. If I didn’t do something drastic, Hook will never get a happily ever after, and Henri will never get her Prince Charming.

  Chapter 14: The Battle

  “You may have to fight the battle more than once to win it.”

  —Margaret Thatcher

  Henri

  “M’lady, I’ve brung your grub.” A stocky pirate with a kind face entered the room. He was thick with muscles and tanned from a life on the seas.

  “Thank you, mister?”

  “Smee, m’lady.”

  “Well, Smee, do call me Henri.”

  His portly cheeks blushed. “Yous very kind, Miss. I’m a seein what’n the cap’n sees in ye.”

  “Your captain sees nothing but a means to an end in me,” I said stiffly.

  “Oh no! Missus, I’ve been a knowing cap’n for many years, and I neer see him look at a lass how he’s a lookin at ye.”

  “I assure you, Mr. Smee; he looks at me only with contempt.”

  “Or is that how ye be seein him. Cap’n be rough around the edges, but he’s gotta good heart.”

  I bit my tongue to keep from replying. Captain Hook has a good heart—as good of a heart as Blackbeard!

  Smee set a wooden bowl filled a putrid smelling stew on the small desk bolted to the corner. “If ye be having a hard time getting your sealegs, let ole Smee know. He’ll be a knowin the best o’cures.”

  “That’s very kind; I’ll be sure to remember that.”

  “Now if yous need a thing just be a tellin me. Cap’n orders me to keep his lady happy as a mermaid with er’s pearls.”

  “I am not your captain’s lady.”

  “Whate’re ye say, Heny.”

  I watched mournfully as he walked out of the cabin and locked the door behind him.

  How on earth was I supposed to escape if I was always locked in this good for nothing room!

  Hook had very few personal items. All of his shirts were the same buccaneer style.

  In a drawer, I found the pearl necklace that Hook had given me beside a truly, stunning sapphire ring. The sapphires were stunning as if the ocean itself were captured inside of the precious jewels.

  He had stacks of treasure maps, but they were all coded, and I could hardly comprehend where the treasure might be. He had a surprising number of books in his bookshelf; I never would have pegged him as an avid reader.

  I found a small dagger in one of his black boots, and quickly slipped it into a pocket. I had learned early on all dresses should have pockets. I heard the jingle of keys and footsteps as walked in.

  He quirked his eye at me sitting in a pile of his things, “Piqued your curiosity yet?” he asked.

  “Not quite,” I quipped.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Why do you code all of your maps?”

  “For insurance, I want to be the only one who can find what’s important.”

  “Like treasure?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Why do you have that ring?” I asked.

  “The sapphire?”

  I nodded.

  “It’s for her.”

  “Who?”

  “The woman I marry. It’s to remind her that you can’t put love in a box. The matching necklace is to remind her that her worth is far above pearls.”

  “And the matching earrings are for?” I asked grinning.

  “Me actually.” He moved a lock of his hair revealing a gold earring with a sapphire stud. “So that she knows I am as much hers as she is mine.”

  “I never would have pegged you as a romantic.”

  “I’m not, but my mother was. She was a Grim original, and she loves my father more than anything. When I turned sixteen, she gave these to me with specific instructions.”

  “Who was she?”

  “Have you ever heard of the Thrushbeard king?”

  “The haughty princess?”

  “Yup, that’s my mum. I’m surprised that you’ve heard of her; her story isn’t one of the more popular Grim tales.”

  “She was my favorite princess. Daddy
used to read it to me every night. It was my favorite because it wasn’t a perfect love story. She was fickle, and he was a liar.”

  Hook smiled, but sadness swirled in his eyes. “My father hid his identity, but he never lied to her. He wanted her to be the best version of herself, and he knew the only way she could grow was if they lived a simple life. He would have given up everything for her.”

  “They sound wonderful,” I whispered.

  Hook looked lost. “T—They were in their own way.”

  “Why did they disown you?” I asked.

  “Because I deserved it. My mother didn’t want to, but my father wanted to teach me a lesson. He always wanted me to be the perfect heir, and I could never achieve it. He thought banishment would teach me how lucky I was, but I’m happier on this ship than I ever was in the stars. I still love them; they’re my family. I don’t miss being their heir, but I hope one day to be their son again.”

  “This isn’t the way to do it.”

  “This?” he asked.

  “You think kidnapping me and forcing me to marry you—will fix all of your problems, but it won’t.”

  Hook sighed. “I know that, and I’ve no intention of forcing you to do anything. If I could take you home, I promise I would. But I can’t.”

  It didn’t make sense for him to lie, but I still couldn’t understand him. Why was I on his ship? Why did he kidnap me? What did he want from me?

  Hook’s stare was just as intense as my own. He truly was an enigma.

  “Why?” I whispered.

  “Because even a pirate can’t control the call of the sea.” His words were senseless at best, or lies at worst.

  “What does that even mean!”

  He was about to reply when a loud boom interrupted whatever he was about to say.

  “Cap’n, we’re under attack!” Smee yelled.

  Hook immediately went into action grabbing his cutlass. He looked back at me one last time. “For your own safety stay put.”

  The ship shook violently causing me to lose my footing.