The Forgotten Marquess

by Jane Charles

  Elaina chuckled. It was a sitting room after all.

  Chapter 33

  Tristan leaned against the entry to the nursery and watched as Elaina tucked their children into their beds. They’d readily accepted her, for which Tristan was immensely grateful. Even though he’d been told several times that Elaina couldn’t have survived, he did not acknowledge that she was dead until he was forced to do so. She had proved everyone wrong. But also, in all that time, he’d kept her alive for his children. When they asked, he told them stories and she was always lost, never dead. He assumed that as they grew older, they’d understand the truth, but in their innocent minds, it was simply that she couldn’t find her way home and once she did, they’d be a family again.

  His brothers, and even the Sinclairs had discouraged Tristan from building hope in the children and insisted that they should know the truth. Now Tristan was happy that he had ignored all their advice because the result was their children welcomed her home without hesitation.

  However, while she and the children talked on all manner of subjects through supper and into the evening until Eloise could no longer keep her eyes open, Elaina had distanced herself from Tristan and he couldn’t understand why.

  It wasn’t so much what she said, but what she refrained from saying, and she avoided looking in his direction, as if she wished he weren’t present. What had he done to cause her to withdraw from him? He was certain that once she began to remember, all would be well again. Be as it had been before she left him.

  Elaina bent and kissed the forehead of each child, one last time, and renewed her promise to let them show her the estate tomorrow, then left them with the nursery maid watching over the two.

  After she exited the nursery, Tristan escorted her back to the sitting room, determined to find out what was on her mind. Elaina was certainly bothered by something and it had nothing to do with the children, which meant it had everything to do with him.

  “Is all well?” he asked as they returned to the sitting room, aching to take Elaina in his arms. Now that there were no secrets between them, he wished to return to their life before she had sailed for France. This room was the perfect location to do so. They’d spent numerous hours within, talking and being intimate. Elaina had her chamber, of course, which she rarely slept in, and Tristan was done sleeping alone.

  “I’m tired. It has been an eventful day.”

  He imagined that was so, given how she’d nearly been washed out to sea, regained the memories of losing the children, assuming they were gone, then the reunion. Anyone would be exhausted.

  He opened his arms. “Come with me. I’ll get you tucked into bed so that you can rest.”

  Elaina frowned. “I don’t need to be tucked in. I’m not a child.”

  “That isn’t what I meant. I simply wish to take care of you.”

  Elaina turned away from him. “I’m exhausted and would like to retire.” She walked to the door to her chamber. “Goodnight, Tristan.”

  As the door clicked behind her, Tristan could only stare after her. What had he done wrong? What had gone wrong?”

  This should be the happiest evening for all of them. She hadn’t been this cool to him since their first meeting upon her return to England.

  It was time to confront her husband and brothers. Elaina steeled her spine and glided down the stairs, only to be brought up short by the gathering in the entry. Besides a number of trunks, Sophia stood in the center of her four friends. Elaina hadn’t met them, but she’d heard stories, plus, she’d overheard their visit the night before. Unable to sleep, but not wishing to encounter anyone, she’d snuck down to the library to find a cherished book to read until her mind could quiet and she could sleep. Sophia and her friends had been in the adjoining parlor, enjoying brandy and reminiscing about their years at the Wiggons’ School for Elegant Young Ladies. If Elaina wasn’t mistaken, the five of them had been a bit tipsy, and there was a good deal of laughter. She was glad that they were here because it would be a good distraction for everyone while Elaina’s memories returned and she settled into her home once again.

  And, the memories were returning, or maybe they all came back at once. As soon as she realized her children had survived and were well, whole and happy, it was if a curtain had been lifted in her mind and all the things she’d read in the journals were no longer a story but real memories that she could grasp. Emotions had flooded her: relief, pain, sorrow, delight, joy and love. All bursting inside, but she pushed it all away to focus on Jonas and Eloise.

  They’d grown so much, and she’d missed everything from first steps to first words, and all other achievements children accomplish in those first years of life. But Elaina was bound and determined not to miss anything else. Never would she be parted from them again.

  This morning she’d even gone to their rooms. She needed to see for herself that they weren’t her imagination, and there they were, sound asleep, and it was all she could do not to gather them in her arms again and hold them close.

  “Are you leaving?” she asked as she reached the foot of the stairs.

  “It’s not right that we visit. Not when you just returned,” Lady Victoria Westbrook offered.

  “Don’t leave on my account,” Elaina insisted.

  Lady Olivia studied her. “May we speak in private?”

  “Yes. Of course,” Elaina agreed. Lady Olivia had stood by her yesterday when panic had consumed her.

  Elaina followed the woman into the parlor and shut the door.

  “Are you certain you are well?”

  “Yes. I’m still coming to terms with a few matters, but I’m also confident that all of my memories have or will return.”

  Lady Olivia nodded. “It is not a good time for Sophia to have guests.”

  “There you are wrong,” Elaina insisted. “I need to spend time with my children. They are all that matter at the moment. I don’t care if Sophia has a dozen friends here, for I won’t be about. She should spend time with those she holds dear before she must return to Italy.” And even though the full house had bothered her yesterday, she had not been herself. Today, Elaina really didn’t care who was here, as she wouldn’t be visiting with anyone.

  “Are you certain?”

  “If I could be with my closest friend right now, I would.”

  “Who might that be?”

  “Monique Petit. She lives in France. She was my best friend from when I was fourteen until I returned to England shortly before my eighteenth birthday.” The same age when Sophia and her friends became close in school. “We wrote often. I visited her when I was in France three years ago.” Elaina’s eyes widened. “Oh dear, I must write her. I fear she thinks I’m dead.”

  “If you are certain you don’t mind, I would like to visit longer with my friends.”

  A smile pulled at her lips. “I’m also being a bit selfish, if I’m to be honest.”

  “How so?”

  “My brother, Xavier. I think he was quite put out when I chose your assistance over him last evening.” Elaina bit back a grin. “If you could distract him, when necessary, I would greatly appreciate the assistance because I fear his hovering for fear that I’ll suffer from a bout of hysteria will drive me to Bedlam.”

  Lady Olivia chuckled. “It would be my pleasure, but I also understand his concern.”

  “I’m not so fragile.”

  “None of us are, but I doubt there will ever be a time when gentlemen will accept such a fact.”

  At the assurance that Sophia’s friends would remain for the planned holiday, Elaina made her way to the breakfast room. Her brothers, along with Tristan and his brothers were still at the table. She had no complaints against the Trent brothers, however the others, she did.

  “How dare you!”

  They all stopped mid-bite or mid-drink or mid-conversation and stared at her.

  “I had two children and none of you thought it was necessary that I know.”

  “Elaina, we thought it best…”
>
  She held up her hand to stop Xavier. “Yes, I know. I needed to discover on my own.” She dismissed him. “Did it ever occur to any of you how the lack of this knowledge could affect me as my memories did return?”

  She could tell by the blank confusion in their eyes that they had no idea what their omission had put her through.

  “I’ve denied children since I woke on Alderney. But, when I was at the water’s edge yesterday, the ship and the storm came back to me in the most vivid memories I’ve suffered to date. I remember seeing my children disappear into the waves. I thought they were dead.” Tears filled her eyes. Those emotions were still too raw, even though she knew Jonas and Eloise were safe and above stairs. “Had you told me that I had children, then when those memories did return, I wouldn’t have wanted to die because I believed their deaths my fault.”

  She was screeching, but she didn’t care.

  “It wasn’t your fault. It was a storm,” Tristan argued. She was the angriest with him.

  “Yes, it was. We fought. You didn’t want me to go. I took that trip the moment you were away. That defiance ended with the deaths of your children, swallowed by the sea.”

  “They weren’t,” he offered.

  He didn’t understand. He had no idea the anguish she’d experienced yesterday. “I did not know that yesterday. Had I had knowledge of Jonas and Eloise well before I returned here, then when those memories assaulted me, I would have gotten through them, knowing that even though the children had been out of my sight, they had indeed survived and I would not have wanted to die yesterday. Instead, I had wanted the ocean to take me again. I couldn’t bear to live with what I’d done, the fact that it was my fault. All I wanted to do was die and that feeling didn’t leave until you brought Jonas and Eloise to me.”

  Tears were streaming down her cheeks, the pain still so very real. She never wanted to experience such loss again. She couldn’t survive it.

  “Had I known they survived, or even existed, it would have saved me a great deal of grief.”

  “We thought it best,” Xavier offered weakly.

  “You thought it best, but you don’t always know what is best so the next time someone suffers with the same condition as I, think through all possibilities before you decide to control their life and memories and knowledge.”

  Then she stared into Tristan’s eyes. “You withheld so much from me, vowing that you cared. I’m not certain I can ever forgive this omission.”

  With that she turned on her heel and marched out of the breakfast room.

  It felt good to tell them all what she thought, but it hadn’t lessened her anger. That would take time. But, for the moment, she was going to join her children as they broke their fast. They promised to show her the estate today and all she wanted was time with them, with nobody else interfering, including her husband.

  Chapter 34

  Tristan’s gut tightened as he watched her retreat. She might not forgive him?

  He was doing what he thought was best.

  No. He turned to glare at Xavier. Tristan had done what her brother, the doctor, thought was best.

  Instead of saying anything, he tossed his napkin on the table and went after his wife, only to be stopped by Lady Olivia.

  “Give her time,”

  “Did you hear what was said, that she can’t forgive me?”

  “Yes, but her emotions are overwhelming. So much has happened in the short time since she returned, and she needs to puzzle it out.”

  “I need to talk to her. To make her understand,” Tristan insisted.

  “She won’t hear you now.” She shrugged. “She’ll, hear, but she won’t listen. The betrayal cut deep, Lord Hopkins.”

  He was certain that it had. He’d seen her on the beach. Her despondency, the loss of life in her eyes. He hadn’t understood her anguish, not until he realized that she thought Jonas and Eloise had died, which he rectified immediately. “How could we have known?”

  “It’s never easy to know,” Lady Olivia assured him. “We make decisions based on the information we have. You had no way of knowing that the true reason for your wife’s amnesia was the loss of her children.”

  He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  She linked her arm with his and led him outside. Tristan wasn’t certain why, or perhaps she didn’t wish to be overheard. “It is my belief, based on what knowledge I’ve gathered, that Lady Hopkin’s amnesia came about because she believed that her children were gone. She’d seen them swallowed by the ocean. Her mind, heart and soul could not handle such trauma and thus, erased her life.”

  “But she started to remember, in Wyndhill Park.”

  “Not all. She recalled her younger years, and those when she was in London,” she admitted.

  Tristan frowned. “How do you know all of this?”

  “Doctor Sinclair enlightened us at supper of the progress Elaina had made in her recovery. Like everyone else, I couldn’t understand why only part of her life returned. I didn’t until I’d given it a great deal of thought. It wasn’t simply coming home. She’d blocked all memories of you, because you are the father of her children. She’d blocked memories of France, because that is where she’d traveled, and where she was leaving when the children had supposedly been lost to her. Her mind could not return to the horror, so it insulated those memories from her because the pain of remembering was too unbearable.”

  He sank down on a bench beside the garden. “Had I told her at Wyndhill Park that we had children, it would have made a difference?”

  Lady Olivia shrugged before she settled beside Tristan. “Perhaps, or she might have denied the possibility, or denied ever having children. However, when she returned here, and relived their loss, she would have possessed the knowledge that they were safe. You would have already told her they were, even though she’d not seen them, and the memories might not have been so painful this time.”

  Blast! He should have ignored Xavier and told Elaina everything. She could have handled the truth, accepted it. She’d read the journals without harm, so there was no reason why he shouldn’t have shared everything with her. Then another thought struck. “Had I told her then, is there a chance that her memories of me, of our life, might have returned sooner, before we came home?”

  “There is no way of knowing, Lord Hopkins, but the omission of not telling her of your son and daughter is what has brought her to this state.”

  Tristan stood. “I need to go to her and explain.”

  “I advise against such action,” she said calmly. “Let her come around on her own, or at least give her time to settle in with everything that is coming to her, and spending time with her children. Once she has had time, I’m certain she will listen but, for the moment, you and Dr. Sinclair are the last two people she wants to see or speak with.”

  “How long?”

  “That I cannot say. All I can ask is that you retain patience and wait for her to come to you.”

  Patience! That’s all he’d had these past days and he was bloody well running out of it.

  “Come along, Mama.” Jonas tugged on her hand as he pulled Elaina across the lawn and toward a garden of flowers and bushes. They were quite tall and lovely in their blooms and Elaina was quite certain that it had not been here before she left for France. She’d had plans for this area, and had even begun the work.

  Beyond the flowers were a copse of trees. Had Tristan completed her plans, or only the garden? Or, was it simply a garden and nothing more?

  Olivia stopped at the break in the bushes and giggled. “Now you must find us.” She disappeared into the foliage.

  Elaina’s heart warmed. Tristan had completed her design.

  “You must close your eyes and count to ten,” Jonas informed her.

  “Why?”

  “Because you are tall and will see where we go.”

  She supposed he was correct. Even though nearly all the flowering plants and bushes were taller than the children, Elaina could look o
ver the tops of many of them. In fact, she could see the top of Olivia’s head not far and off to the right.

  “Cover your eyes.”

  Elaina obeyed.

  “Start counting.”

  “One, two, three….” When she let her hands drop and opened her eyes, neither of her children could be seen. For a moment, panic rushed her, fear of losing them, but she calmed the anxiety, reminding herself that they were hiding in the maze.

  Unable to keep from smiling, Elaina picked up her skirts and stepped within and tried to recall the design she had painstakingly sketched out so long ago. Whenever she made a wrong turn, she could hear Jonas and Eloise giggle, but she couldn’t see them. They must be staying close to the ground, but as Elaina couldn’t hide as they, the two could see her. Eventually she emerged on the other side, but her children were nowhere to be found, but a path led into the woods. Slowly she followed, wondering where it would lead, until she came to an opening and gasped.

  It was a folly. Another structure she’d designed, a replica of the one at Wyndhill Park, but smaller. Inside, Jonas and Eloise sat on a couch, the space between them open and Eloise held a book.

  Tears sprang to her eyes. This is what she’d wanted. She’d told Tristan of her plans, how she wanted the maze for her children and a folly they could play in. A place to read when they grew older. He’d seen that it was built, and the garden completed. She was gone, but he’d fulfilled one of her deepest wishes.

  No, the folly had been completed before she’d left. They shared many moments out here.

  She pushed the memories away. She didn’t want to think about Tristan and what they’d shared. She was still too angry at his deception.

  However, the garden had only barely been started when she sailed for France and she knew that her husband was responsible for seeing it completed.

  “Come along, Mama,” Jonas cried.