Blood Before Sunrise: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  He always had a way of making the world melt away. And as his gaze locked with mine, there was nothing but him, me, and this moment. By small degrees, the spark of rage left his hazel eyes, and his expression softened. The bones in his jaw creaked as he unclenched his teeth, and as I brought my arms to his wide, strong shoulders, they relaxed as well, no longer tensed and ready for a fight.

  “I have to leave,” he whispered, his body trembling from the immense self-control he exerted. “I’ll kill him if I don’t.”

  The last thing I wanted was for Tyler to leave, but I knew he couldn’t stay here. “Go.” I began to shake from my own suppressed emotion. “Be safe.”

  He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, a slow, deep, urgent demand that I answered and then some. When he pulled away, I was breathless, on the verge of tears, aching to the point where I wanted to scream in hopes of releasing the pressure. “I love you.” He kissed me again, a kiss good-bye, and turned on his heel. “Darian.” His voice became strained again. Not a good sign. “I need for you to wish me out of here. I—I can’t leave you here with him. My brain is screaming for me to stay. All I sense is danger, as if I leave I’ll lose you—forever. Get me the hell out of here before I do something I’ll regret.”

  Where? I wondered. Who could help Tyler? Keep him safe? I stepped behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and laid my cheek against his back. “I love you,” I murmured. “Tyler, I wish you were at The Pit with Levi for the rest of the night.”

  “I’ll see you soon,” Tyler said.

  I closed my eyes and filled my lungs with his scent. A wave of energy pulsed around me, and I stumbled forward, my once-full arms slack and holding on to nothing but air. My eyes met Raif’s, his cold determination echoing mine. “I’m going to kill her, Raif.”

  “Tread lightly, Darian.” I envied Raif’s unflappable attitude. “First things first. Tell me everything.”

  This was going to be a long night.

  The next morning, I walked through Ty’s door to the delicious aroma of pancakes and bacon. Tyler stood at the stove, a wan smile on his face. My heart lurched in my chest, tearing a little at the sight of him.

  “How was your night?” Tyler did nothing to mask his accusatory tone as he flipped a huckleberry pancake onto a stack and handed me a plate.

  I shrugged. “How was yours?”

  “Not bad.” His hazel gaze locked with mine, as if he were trying to see into my soul. “It actually took the edge off, hanging with Levi. Worked better than I expected. Don’t think that just because I feel better, you’re off the hook, though. As soon as I’ve got your stomach full and your guard down, you’re going to tell me everything that’s been going on, starting with why you agreed to turn thief for this Fallon.”

  He grabbed a plate for himself and joined me at the bar, scooting his stool close enough to mine that our bodies touched. I tried to stop my hand from shaking as I raised my fork to my mouth. Eating was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to throw up. “Was Levi able to help you find a way to resist Moira’s influence?” Maybe if I kept him distracted long enough, he wouldn’t press me about what had happened the night before.

  “Hmm.” Tyler shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Honestly, Darian, I don’t think it’s her doing it. I can’t explain it, but I feel like someone wants me to believe it’s her. I’ll know more later. But until I can look into it and talk to my contact, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I’m checking Fallon out, too. I don’t think that’s even his real name. I can’t find anything about him—not even from the Northeast Division’s personnel records. Someone should have picked up on this. And I suppose it goes without saying that you need to stay the hell away from him. I don’t care what sort of deal he’s trying to make with you. I’m going to handle this situation with Delilah and Raif’s daughter from here on out.”

  Apparently Tyler wasn’t messing around anymore either. Last night had been the last straw for both of us. “Ty, I know you’re worried, but this situation isn’t yours to handle. I can take care of this on my own. I’m not dragging you into it.”

  Tyler threw his fork down on his plate. I flinched as he turned in his seat to face me and shouted, “Why do you insist on taking on the world by yourself?”

  “Because that’s all I know, Tyler!” I hadn’t meant to shout back, but I couldn’t contain my emotions any longer. “Don’t you think if I could change that about myself, I would? I’ve had no one to rely on for almost a goddamned century, and so I’ve had no choice but to rely on myself!”

  His expression softened, and he raked his fingers through the tousled curls of his hair as he took a couple of calming breaths. I know he wanted to understand, but how could he? Even from his first moment of existence, someone had sought him out and taken care of him. I’d been passed off to a governess as a child and then later to a husband, who despised me. Azriel had taken me under his wing, only to train me to shun all personal contact. And after he disappeared…? I’d done just what he’d taught me to do. I’d kept my nose to the ground. The people who paid my salary, and those whose lives I’d been paid to end, were the only contact I had with other living souls. I didn’t have the first clue how to relate to anyone on a personal level. God, I was so broken, it made me sick.

  “Darian,” Ty said, his voice no longer angry but full of compassion, “you have to learn to let go and open up. You’re not alone anymore. You have to trust the people who care about you and allow us to help you.”

  From the corner of my eye, I took in every minute detail of Tyler’s face as I pretended to pay attention to my breakfast. He looked haggard. Too tired and worn too thin. His coppery hair had lost some of its luster, the curls seeming drab. Under his mysterious hazel eyes, dark circles had begun to form, and the hollows beneath his cheeks appeared deeper. He was still the most amazing man I’d ever seen, despite his exhausted state. And I loved him so much, it hurt. I choked on the emotional overload, and I felt as though I couldn’t swallow or take a deep breath. Tears threatened, but I refused to let them come. He wanted me to trust him. He urged me to let him in and allow him to help. But how could I when doing that might put his life in danger? I could work on my many issues for him, but not now. I had to remain hard. I had to stay my course. I’d shed my tears already. I couldn’t allow myself the weakness when there was still so much for me to do.

  Tyler doubled over the bar, cradling his head in his hands. A moan of agony escaped his lips as he got down from his stool, lowering his head between his knees and taking measured breaths.

  “It’s her again, isn’t it? What’s she doing?” Every ounce of frustration and anger I felt over my own shortcomings dissolved into concern. I didn’t care what Tyler thought. Moira had to be responsible for this. My heart sped to a frantic rhythm as the panic set in.

  “Nothing,” Ty panted through his pain. “Just a headache.”

  “Bullshit, Tyler.” Visions of my blade piercing Moira’s heart grounded my swirling emotions. “How can I help you? Tell me what to do.”

  I hovered above him, worrying like a mother hen. I was helpless. So fucking helpless! I could wield a sword, cut down my enemies, slit a throat, and deliver a mean right hook. But I could do absolutely nothing to assuage Ty’s pain. How could I fight an enemy who didn’t have to be present to launch an attack?

  Tense, silence-filled moments passed, and Tyler stood. His weak smile was meant to be reassuring, but it did nothing other than fill me with a sense of dread. “I’m fine,” he said, caressing my arm as if it had been my pain, not his.

  I could tell it took all the effort he could expend to appear fine. He wanted me to think whatever magic assaulted him caused nothing more than mild discomfort. But I knew better. Leaning against the bar, I fixed him with a suspicious gaze. He knew damned well I was wise to his ploy, but he pulled me into his arms and murmured, “Damn it, Darian, your stubbornness aggravates the hell out of me. If I could, I’d go back and puni
sh every single person who ever hurt you. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through, all of those years, utterly alone. But you’re not alone anymore. You have me. And I love you.”

  He cradled my face in his hands and slowly combed his fingers through my hair. A sigh escaped his lips, and he bent his nose to my temple, inhaling deeply. “You smell so good,” he murmured. “I’ve always thought so. Like a field of wildflowers after the rain. That first night we met—at The Pit—I couldn’t tear my eyes off you. I’d never seen anything so fiercely beautiful in all my life. I wanted to make love to you right there on that bar.”

  I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. Laughter rumbled in Tyler’s chest. “You were such a snarky pain in the ass. Still are. And I could tell from the start you’d be nothing but trouble. But I didn’t care, as long as you were mine. Forever.”

  His words were like razor blades scoring my skin. I couldn’t endure the torture of his loving affirmations much longer. If he knew what I planned to do…I steeled myself against the emotion that threatened to eat me alive and leaned into him.

  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” Tyler’s lips touched the top of my head and then my brow. “No torture I wouldn’t endure.” His finger beneath my chin, he raised my face to meet his. “I love you.” A light kiss to my cheek preceded the gentle searching of his mouth when it met mine. I let my eyes drift shut as I reveled in the sweet taste of him. His tongue moved with gentle precision, caressing, teasing, entreating. Our lips met again and again in a slow dance, featherlight and full of promise. I wanted to freeze this moment in time, hold on to the sensation of his kisses lingering on my mouth, keep the memory of the taste of him fresh in my mind. I tried to remember every detail of his kisses, etching them into my brain.

  My breath caught as Ty’s hands maneuvered under my shirt, his fingers kneading and working my flesh as he shimmied my shirt up over my head. He bent down, pressing his lips to my temple, down the side of my face, my jaw, and lower still. His tongue flicked out, unusually hot against my flesh before he nuzzled my neck and continued his descent across one shoulder, and then to the other, branding my skin with every pass of his mouth. With the backs of his fingers, he traced my collarbone and worked his way between my breasts. My head fell back as I pressed myself hard against him, forgetting our previous argument and the pain of my decisions—for a while. A moan worked up from my throat as he unhooked my bra and cupped my breast in his hand, teasing my nipple with his thumb before pinching lightly.

  He took the other nipple in his mouth, grazing with his teeth. A thrilling pulse of excitement shot through me, and my jaw dropped, moaning again. “That’s right,” Tyler murmured, his hand leaving my breast to unfasten my pants. “I want to hear you. I want to make you scream.”

  His hand slid inside my underwear and found me wet and ready, and he sucked his breath in through his teeth. I shuddered as he brought me close to orgasm, his fingers rubbing in slow circles and flicking with agonizing slow precision over my core. “Darian,” he growled, “I don’t think I’ll make it to the bedroom.”

  I guided him toward the low countertop next to the breakfast bar and lifted myself up until I perched on the edge. “Make love to me, Tyler, like you wanted to that first night.”

  I kicked my pants off, and my underwear with them. He stripped his clothes off his body as if they were on fire, and he pressed against me. Cupping the back of my neck in his hand, Tyler kissed me deep, his tongue thrusting into my mouth with a need that I understood all too well. He was hard and ready, the marble-smooth flesh grazing my thigh as he rubbed against me in a rhythm that promised pleasure to follow. I reached down between us, reveling in the feel of his skin, stroking him, and his breath hitched. “Darian,” he murmured on an exhale of breath, “I want you…right…now.”

  If he said anything after that, I couldn’t hear him over my screams.

  As Tyler slept beside me, I watched the even rise and fall of his chest. I should have felt guilty for the hours we’d spent pleasuring each other, but I didn’t. Those last moments would have to sustain me. When he woke, I tried to imagine that he’d be fine. Healthy. Back to normal.

  And I’d be gone.

  Looking down, I twisted the silver ring on my thumb, Tyler’s gift carved with his symbol of the bear, representing his fierce and loyal protection. I smoothed his hair back with my hand and laid my lips to his forehead. I loved him—more than I thought I could ever love anyone or anything.

  My stomach twisted into knots, and my limbs ached with anxiety-infused adrenaline. If Raif didn’t have my back, I’d never be able to follow through on my plan. I refused to break our bond. It would be like refusing his love, and that meant more to me than any protection he could offer. But I had to protect him this time, and dragging him along on a quest that had nothing to do with him wasn’t fair. I had to finish this and finish it now, or I’d risk losing him forever.

  Tyler’s brow furrowed in sleep and then relaxed. Was it my imagination that he looked a little better? I crossed the bedroom and found a pad of paper in Tyler’s desk. He was probably sick to death of waking to find a note beside him, but I vowed this was the last time he’d have to read one.

  It’s time for me to protect you. Please don’t be angry with me. Try to understand. I can’t sit by and watch you put yourself in harm’s way. There are too many mysteries to solve, and all of them could end up with you dead. I couldn’t live with that. Not when I can do something to stop it. I won’t be gone long. Wait for me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said under my breath as I laid the note on the pillow. “But it’s the only way I can keep you safe. I love you, Tyler.” I took a deep breath and quelled the sob rising in my throat. “I wish for you to stay in the city until I come home. I wish for you to let me go without coming to find me.” Silent tears streamed down my cheeks. Tyler stirred, a tremor moving along his beautiful body before his eyes opened. For a single moment we stared at each other, the pain of my words etched into every line of his face. Twilight, as gray and sad as my ragged emotions, swallowed my physical body whole, and I fled like a coward under the cover of near dark.

  I’d never hated the cold detachment of my own apartment as much as I did when I pulled the broken hourglass from my safe. I held it in my trembling hands, fighting the urge to smash the thing against the bricks of my wall. I needed a fucking shower and a stiff drink—and to sleep for about a year and a half. But I wasn’t going to get any of those things—not for a while.

  After I found Brakae, I’d come crawling back to Tyler if he wanted. My stomach turned at the betrayal. That I’d left in the night like the thief I now was would probably piss him off to no end. But I’d spend forever making it up to him, if he’d let me.

  I paced the apartment for five minutes and forty-seven seconds—God I hated the sound of time!—before I dialed Fallon’s number.

  “Do you have it?” he asked in an excited tone.

  “I do.”

  “Bring it to me.”

  “No.” Fallon was as dumb as a sack of rocks if he thought I’d just hand the hourglass over without getting what I wanted in return. “I want the Oracle first. You give me Delilah—speaking and in her right mind—and you’ll get this piece-of-shit hourglass. No negotiation.”

  Silence answered, and I pictured Fallon sitting on one of those god-awful beds at Seven, slowly strangling the nearest human waitress in frustration. I hoped he was—frustrated, that is, not strangling anyone. Though I wouldn’t put it past the creepy fucker to be into that shit. “Of course.” His smooth reply reeked of barely controlled rage. “I wouldn’t dream of not fulfilling my end of our bargain.”

  “I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of it.” My voice carried a sarcastic edge I hoped he noticed. Bastard. “Can we do this in an hour?”

  “It might raise suspicion,” he said. “I’m scheduled to take the midnight shift. Just don’t come stomping right up to the gate. I don’t need your face plastered all over security camer
a footage. Come cloaked by darkness, and I’ll let you in when I make my rounds. Don’t try to scale the walls; they’re protected by wards. The front gate is the only way in—or out. I’ll meet you at the entrance at one. Agreed?”

  As if I had a choice. “One a.m. at the front entrance. I won’t be seen.”

  “And you’ll bring the glass…”

  “Yes.” Can you say broken record? “I’ll bring the glass.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  I ended the call without saying good-bye. Once Fallon played his part, I’d try to find a way to notify someone that he had Reaver’s hourglass. A double cross, and dishonorable, but whoever said there was honor amongst thieves?

  Chapter 19

  My equilibrium was off as I traveled to the PNT headquarters. Up was down, north became south, and the emerald pendulum glowed so hot, I thought it would scorch a hole right through my pants. I don’t know why I didn’t leave the damned thing at home, but for some reason, I felt I simply couldn’t part with it. The pendulum seemed to have a knack for knowing when and when not to make its presence known. And right now, it wanted me to stand up and take notice. After being mostly dormant, the gem had come to life over the past few days, growing hotter and hotter in my pocket, where I’d stowed it away. I had a feeling it was trying to deliver a message, but whatever that message was would just have to wait.

  I focused my senses, tried to ignore the flow of time, and sent out invisible feelers for my genie. Even though I knew Ty would be safe while I searched for Brakae, I needed to feel some kind of connection to him, the reassurance of his presence. I’d felt something arc between us when Moira had attacked Tyler with whatever magic she wielded against him. Maybe I could feel our bond again. Tyler claimed he could sense our connection. He’d found me at Reaver’s house. He could find me almost anywhere. I’d taken care of that, though. I’d wished him confined to the city, forbidding him to come after me. And the fact that I’d once again brushed his help to the side, not allowing him to be strong enough for both of us, left me feeling empty and lonely—incomplete.