Blood Before Sunrise: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  I held the emerald before me, concentrated on where I needed to be, and lost myself in its depths. Next up: one family reunion.

  The darkened landscape melted away, and we appeared right where I’d left Brakae in the center of the ring of stones. Raif let go of me, turning a circle as he took in his surroundings. “I know. What a mindfuck, right?”

  “Amazing,” Raif said. “But, Darian, what does this have to do with—”

  “Father?” Her voice was younger than when I’d left, that of an adolescent girl, not that of the grown woman.

  His eyes widened in disbelief, glistening with tears. I swallowed the baseball-sized lump that had grown in my throat and squeezed his hand before taking a step back. This was his reunion, not mine. And they both deserved this moment of happiness.

  Chapter 33

  One advantage to keeping royal company was the perk of a private jet. Xander happened to own a Gulfstream, and for once I didn’t feel like wringing his neck for flaunting his extravagant possessions. It was damned comfortable too. I’d added another three and a half weeks to my MIA status by returning to O Anel with Raif, and we still had a thirteen-hour flight before we’d be back in Seattle. But if I had to endure the agony of more time away from Tyler, at least I endured it in style.

  Knowing he could see Brakae whenever he wanted put Raif at ease. He hadn’t felt as if they were parting forever when he’d left O Anel—just for a while.

  “You’re worried, aren’t you?” Raif said, interrupting my thoughts. He regarded me with his fierce blue eyes, and it reminded me of the first time we met at Xander’s warehouse. Nothing got past him.

  “I left him.”

  “Yes.”

  “He might not forgive me.”

  “He’s not worthy of you if he doesn’t.”

  Always pragmatic, Raif didn’t know how to mince words.

  “I’m afraid to face him.”

  “Nonsense.” Raif sat up straight in his chair and leaned forward. “You’re not afraid of anything.”

  I didn’t answer him because I didn’t want him to know the truth. I was scared shitless to face Tyler.

  Raif leaned back in his chair, and his expression softened. “Sleep, Darian. By gods, you’ve earned it. I’ll wake you when we get home.”

  He didn’t have to tell me twice. I was asleep before my chair fully reclined.

  “I missed you, Darian.”

  Oh God, I loved the way he said my name—like a prayer or something sacred. The sound of his voice touched every minute part of me, right down to my hair follicles, like sparks of electricity. For the first time in a long, lonely while I felt alive. We were two parts of a whole. Unlike the broken hourglass, my world had been out of balance without my other half. And now he was here—right here next to me—and if I’d wished him here in my sleep, then thank God I was a sleep-talker.

  But really, I didn’t care how he’d gotten here. Raif was nowhere to be seen; maybe he was in the cockpit with the pilot. Whatever, it didn’t matter. I had everything I needed now. “Tyler…” There was so much to say. Where should I start? The dim lighting of the private jet’s cabin barely illuminated his face, but I knew every detail. I’d etched a vision of him in my memory. He brought his finger to my lips, effectively silencing anything I’d planned to say. Did words really matter when you loved someone this much?

  He replaced his finger with his mouth, his lips so soft, they were nothing more than a light brush against my own. Tyler pulled me out of my seat while he closed the privacy partition around us and settled into the seat I’d been sleeping in. He pulled me down without a word, and I straddled him. I traced my hands up the muscles of his arms, reacquainting myself with the topography of his body. His shoulders were firm in my grip—solid—before I continued my exploration, moving downward over his chest, my fingers tracing the hard, muscled expanse of his stomach.

  He thrust his hips, and the hard length of him pressed against me through our clothes, causing a jolt of pleasure that sent my head lolling back on my shoulders. Slowly, and so gently, his fingers laced through my hair like the stirring of a breeze, and he urged my head back while he tasted the flesh just above my collarbone. Tyler’s tongue teased and enticed as it traveled up my neck to just below my ear. His teeth grazed my flesh, and I gasped, wrapping my arms around him to draw him closer. The plane could have gone into a nosedive spiral, engulfed in flames, and I wouldn’t have noticed. All I knew was I wanted more of Tyler. Right. Now.

  I threw off my coat and worked at getting Ty’s T-shirt up and over his head while he did the same to me. The possibility of getting caught made it all the more exciting as he pulled the straps of my bra down over my shoulders, shoving the silky fabric away from my breasts. It had been so long since I’d felt his skin against mine, and I reveled in the taste of his cool mouth. Hours in O Anel had been months, but it felt more like years. Every minute away from him had been a century.

  He took one breast into his mouth, sucking and biting gently. I arched my back, pushing closer, and he caught the other breast in his hand. God, yes! I missed this—him—so much. He pulled away, and I brought my lips to his, a greedy kiss, a wanton claiming of his mouth. I parted my lips, and Tyler followed suit, our tongues searching, tasting, lingering. I’ve died, I thought as his hands traced down my sides to pull at the waistband of my pants. I’m dead and this is heaven.

  I rose up on my knees so Tyler could unfasten the button on my pants. A quick tug and they were down around my thighs, not exposing near enough of me for what I wanted to do. I stretched out one leg, and then the other, and kicked my pants and underwear to the floor. I looked down to the bulge in Ty’s jeans, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth before meeting his heated hazel gaze. It was all the encouragement he needed before his pants and underwear joined mine. I smiled as I took in the impressive sight of his naked body. He’d put a Greek god to shame with his perfection.

  Tyler pulled my head down, kissing me fiercely. No time for sweet whispered words and foreplay. I needed him inside me. Now.

  I positioned myself above him and guided him in. My breath caught as he invaded every inch of me, and it was a sweet torture that made me only want more. He kissed me again, leaving a blazing trail from my lips to my chin, neck, and collarbone, ending again at my breasts. His hands settled at my hips, and I began to move, slow at first, rocking back and forth at a measured pace. Tyler groaned, the sound vibrating across my flesh, and I sped up, unable to control the frenzy he’d created in me. His breath came heavy—or was it my own rasping in my ears?—as my pleasure mounted to unbearable degrees. More. I needed more of him. I could never get enough. I vowed silently as he brought his lips to mine that I would never leave him again.

  He thrust his hips, driving deep into me as I rocked and pressed down hard on top of him. A wave of pleasure so great, it stole my breath, crested and threatened to crash over me….

  “Darian!”

  My eyes shot open as though I’d been doused with a bucket of ice water. I sat bolt upright, nearly throwing myself from the chair. Eyes wide and frantic, I looked around the cabin, disbelieving I’d dreamt the whole thing. My body—still warm and pulsing from his touch—felt too real for it all to have been just a dream.

  “Are you all right?” Raif asked. “I had to shout to wake you up. I tried several times.”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. Jesus Christ, what sounds had escaped my lips in my sleep? I might as well have been caught in the act. I sure as hell felt embarrassed enough. Tears of disappointment and heartache prickled behind my eyes, and I bit my cheek—hard enough to draw blood—to prevent my ragged emotions from taking me over. I swallowed down the coppery taste coating my mouth and took a deep breath to cleanse the remains of the dream from my mind. I could still smell his warm, spicy scent….

  “Darian?” Raif snapped his fingers in front of my face to get my attention. “Maybe we should have Xander’s physician check you out now that we’re home. We’re taxiing off the r
unway right now.”

  “I’m not going to Xander’s with you.” I didn’t have another minute to spare for anyone. “I’m going to Tyler’s as soon as I’m off this plane.”

  “About that.” Raif’s tone was sour, tentative. “The last time I saw him, he didn’t look so good. Haggard. Exhausted. I don’t think the man had shaved in months.” He cleared his throat. “And he smelled as though he hadn’t showered in as long as well.”

  Ugh. It was just like Raif to let his royal lineage, or rather inner snob, show. Definitely channeling his high-and-mighty brother. I didn’t give a shit what Tyler looked like. He could have a beard like Sasquatch’s and smell like an outhouse for all I cared, as long as I could see him and feel his arms around me. “Then it’s my fault he’s in the shape he’s in. I’ve got to see him. Now. I’ll tend to myself later.”

  “Take care, Darian.” The brotherly tone had returned to Raif’s voice. “He’s not himself.”

  The plane came to a stop, and the pilot stepped out to open the hatch. I wasn’t about to waste time walking down the stairs. “I’ll talk to you later, Raif. Thank you for coming for me.” I didn’t wait for a response or reciprocation on his part, though I knew Raif was dying to show his gratitude again. Instead, I became one with the shadows and headed straight for downtown and Tyler’s apartment.

  Chapter 34

  I’d missed the hell out of Seattle, but the cityscape passed in a blur as I raced with preternatural speed to Tyler’s penthouse apartment. I’d gawk at the scenery later. Right now, I had to make sure he was okay.

  I didn’t bother with decorum as I glided like a wraith to the top floor of the building. Waiting on a slow-as-fuck elevator would not have been conducive to my mounting impatience. When I got to Tyler’s front door, I became my corporeal self. The door was open a crack, and a sliver of light shone out into the hall. Strange. Tyler was usually so concerned with security, it didn’t feel right that his door was open.

  Tentatively, I pushed it open and stepped inside. The place did smell a little like Xander’s training room after a workout—musty, sweaty—and my stomach twisted into a tight pretzel that felt like a fifty-pound weight. Tyler liked to have his place lit up like a Christmas tree, but tonight the only light came from his bedroom. I walked, silent as a shadow, my gaze drawn inexplicably to the island counter in the kitchen. The granite slab of the counter was cracked down the center, and the island slumped in on itself as if a giant had tried out his karate chop on its surface.

  In fact, the whole apartment looked pretty damned trashed. Forget college dorm room; someone had partied like a rock star in Tyler’s penthouse—or thrown a king-sized shit fit. My mouth went dry, my hands shook at my sides, and I felt like dry-heaving. What was I going to find on the other side of Tyler’s bedroom door? Did I really want to see the havoc I’d wreaked?

  I pushed open the door, and it didn’t even squeak to betray my presence. Bathed in light, Tyler stood at the foot of his bed, an open suitcase in front of him and a stack of clothes ready to be packed beside it.

  “I felt you the second you came back,” Tyler said without turning to face to me. “It was like someone had switched a light on in my soul. And then you left again for three weeks, and snap! The light came on again.”

  His voice was hollow, emotionless. Too calm. My heartbeat kicked into high gear, pounding against my rib cage, and I felt as if I needed to swallow ten times more than usual. “Tyler—”

  “Do you know how that feels, Darian, to have that light flipped on and then extinguished over and over?”

  “I didn’t know.” God, what a lame-ass response. “When I left, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.”

  “No, I suppose you didn’t.” His voice became hard. “If you had, you probably would’ve included it in your note.”

  “If I told you what I was going to do, you would have tried to stop me. Or worse, come with me. I was trying to protect you.”

  Tyler turned to face me, and the fist squeezing my heart constricted at the sight of him. He looked freshly showered and shaved. In fact, his hair was still a little damp, and he smelled of shampoo and body wash on top of his natural scent. His hair was a bit longer, curling at the base of his neck and over his ears. He raised his brows in question and those too disappeared into longer, curling, bronze-streaked locks. But what did me in was the look in those beautiful hazel eyes of his. His gaze was empty, dull, completely hollow, and I realized at that moment that what I’d done—leaving without a trace—had nearly killed him.

  “Where did you go?” His tone was that of a demand.

  “The Faerie Ring.”

  “O Anel?”

  I opened my mouth to speak, too astonished at his knowledge to put a coherent string of words together.

  “What, Darian?” He became agitated, almost defensive. “You didn’t think I was smart enough to know what that was? I’m older than your friend Raif and twice as clever as that asshole who managed to gain your trust and lure you away. Fallon,” he scoffed. “The least he could have done was picked a better alias. It didn’t take long for me to figure out who—and what—he really was. Maybe if you’d checked one of the twenty or so voice mails I’d left you, you would have realized that I was already one step ahead of you. You knew I’d been talking to people. Investigating. You didn’t even give me enough time to confirm what I’d learned before you took off on me.” My eyes widened, and he gave me a bitter smile. “I guess you didn’t think I was strong enough to help you, so why should I be any smarter?”

  “That’s not true.” Goddamn it, I needed more saliva in my mouth. It was too dry to even form words.

  “That is true.” He sat down on the bed, crossing his legs at the ankle and his arms in front of him. The laid-back attitude he’d adopted put me on high alert. “You didn’t think I could hold my own with what you had going down. You lied to me, deceived me, withheld information I could have used to help you. And then, to top it all off, you left in the middle of the night with a cryptic note for explanation and fled the city with another man. A man you obviously trusted and held in higher regard than me.”

  “Tyler, that’s not what happened at all. I was deceived. It was a trap.”

  He pushed himself off the bed and walked toward me. I had to fight the urge not to cringe away from him, his expression was so dark. I’d seen fury boiling under the surface like that before, but never from Tyler. That terrified me.

  “I thought I could prove myself to you,” he said, almost murmuring. “I thought if I gave you space and let you think I wasn’t just another user trying to control you, you’d learn to trust me. I bound myself to you out of love, and I prayed the gods would let you love me too.” He traced his fingers along my jawline, and I felt the tears welling in my eyes spill over onto my cheeks. I couldn’t bring myself to speak; the tenderness was killing me. “I should have known better,” he whispered. “I should have known you’d never let your guard down. Not for me, not for anyone.”

  “Tyler,” I said as I fought to talk through the dryness in my throat, “I’m so, so sorry.”

  A slight, sad smile curved his lips. “I know you are. But sorry isn’t good enough.”

  “What do you want me to do?” At this point, I’d have done whatever he asked me to. “Just tell me what I have to do to fix things between us.”

  “You were gone, Darian. I told you how it was for me, but you didn’t listen. It was like part of my soul had gone dark. After you left here, I could still feel you. You wouldn’t answer your phone, the PNT was looking for you, and I knew you were running. But at least I knew you were alive. Your wish made me damned near powerless. I couldn’t come for you even when I sensed you were in trouble. But then—” He paused, and his voice seemed to catch somewhere between his chest and his mouth. “You just disappeared. The light went off. Nothing. It was as if you’d never existed.”

  My throat closed up; I felt as though I were suffocating. There wasn’t enough air in the worl
d to fill my lungs. “I did what I thought was best for you. I would have died if anything had happened to you and you were already in danger—”

  “You don’t get it, Darian.” He locked his gaze with mine, and I bit back a sob. “I knew you weren’t dead. After all, we’re bound. My life force is tied to yours. But at least with death there’s some sort of finality! There’s nothing worse than not knowing. And I had no idea where you’d gone, what had happened to you. Once…” He brushed a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “Once I could’ve sworn I felt you reaching out for me. Right here.” He pounded a fist against his chest over his heart. “And it felt so real. But there wasn’t a goddamned thing I could do about it! I couldn’t go to you. I couldn’t help you. No, I knew you weren’t dead, but I mourned you just the same.”

  I couldn’t hold back the flood any longer. His calm voice, the way his gaze bored right through me, the pain in every syllable he spoke; it was just too much. My entire body seemed to compress against the emotion I was trying not to let bust out of me like a broken dam. “I love you.”

  “But you don’t trust me. You don’t consider me your equal. You don’t think I’m strong enough to protect you.”

  “No!” Was that my voice that had erupted into a high, keening cry? “Tyler, no.”

  “I wish it weren’t true.” He dragged his hand through his still-damp hair, and my knees threatened to give out beneath me. “I wish to hell that weren’t true. But this will happen again. And again. You draw danger like a magnet, Darian. No matter how much I want to be your protector, you’ll continue to push me away.”

  I shook my head. The words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t get my mouth to work properly.

  “I think you need some time—”

  “No!” The word exploded from my lips. “Damn it, Tyler, don’t do this! Get mad, yell at me, throw something! Set the fucking bed on fire and take a baseball bat to every lamp in the house. But do not say what you’re about to say.”