The First Twenty

by Jennifer Lavoie

  “Hi,” she said softly, gesturing for her to come in. Nixie returned her smile with one that lit up the darkest places in Peyton’s heart, and the muscle beat unevenly twice before righting itself. “Do you want something to drink?” she offered, motioning to her glass.

  Nixie shook her head and looked around the room. “You have a lot of things here.”

  “They belonged to my dad, mostly. He collected things whenever he went out.”

  Peyton finished her glass of water and set it on the counter, watching Nixie as she moved from shelf to shelf, looking at all the little treasures he’d picked up. Most of them were faded and dirty, and Peyton saw them from someone else’s eyes for the first time. She frowned. “He liked to tell stories about them. I remember when I was little, he’d bring something back and tell me some elaborate tale about the person who owned it.” She chuckled. “I guess it sounds silly, but I liked listening to him.”

  “Has it gotten easier?”

  “Since he died?” Nixie nodded and Peyton cocked her head, looking up at the ceiling—the only untouched space in the room. “I guess. I don’t feel as angry anymore. I still want to catch the people who killed him, but it’s not the only thing on my mind anymore. I have other responsibilities. I don’t think Dad would want me to spend all of my time out for revenge. He’d want me to be happy.”

  “Are you?”

  Was she? She thought back to the last few weeks. Sure, there were moments of utter loneliness and frustration. Times when she put her job above herself. But more recently there was a pixie-like girl who’d invaded her thoughts and made herself quite at home there. She smiled. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me Ranger came before? I thought they had abandoned me.”

  She should have known this would come up. Peyton reached up and brushed the mess of her hair off her forehead. “It was right after Dr. Easton let you out. I didn’t know you then. We didn’t trust each other. I’m sorry. I should have told you after, but by then…I don’t know, it just didn’t come up.”

  Nixie glanced back at her and then looked away quickly. She fidgeted, much as Static would when he was nervous, but Peyton dismissed it. Instead she closed the distance between the two of them and pulled Nixie into her arms. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “Do you trust me now?”

  “Yes,” Peyton nodded quickly. “Yes, of course I do. After everything you’ve done for us, how could I not?”

  They both sighed simultaneously and then broke into a nervous, awkward laugh. Nixie was just short enough that Peyton could rest her chin comfortably on her head. She wrapped her arms around her, holding onto the warmth, and when she breathed in, she could smell the faint, clean scent of freshly fallen rain.

  Nixie broke the hold to reach up and kiss her. It was slow and sweet, just like Nixie. She wanted to stay like this, holding her close and kissing her for days, but now that they had that secret out of the way they had some things to discuss.

  When Peyton broke the kiss, Nixie looked up at her, disappointment written in her frown. Peyton kissed her quickly once to smooth it away. “I want you to move in with me,” she said. When Nixie pulled back, clearly confused, she tried again. “Wow, that came out fast. I do mean it, but I didn’t mean to say it like that. What I meant was, I’d like it if you moved in here. I have an extra bedroom, too, and I’m sure living with Graham is nice and all, because he’s a great guy, but he’s probably a little boring. Maybe?”

  Nixie laughed, and the high and bright sound filled Peyton with a sense of peace. Even if the laughter was aimed at her. “I like having my own space for once, but it does get lonely. I don’t like to be alone all the time.” She paused, biting her lip, then gazed up at Peyton from beneath her lashes. “Would I…have to sleep in another room?”

  “No,” Peyton blurted, eyes widening. “No, you can sleep wherever you want. My bed is fine. Just fine. What I mean is, I’d like you in my bed.” What the hell is wrong with me? She cringed and turned away to give her face a moment to cool as Nixie continued to laugh.

  “I understand,” Nixie finally said as her laughter died down. “I know what you mean. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

  “Well, I suppose it’s good one of us understands. Since my mouth isn’t cooperating.”

  “I think your mouth is cooperating just fine,” Nixie replied and pulled Peyton back for another fiery kiss. Peyton had just enough time to respond and wrap her arms around Nixie again when another knock sounded at the door. She groaned and pulled back. “It’s going to be one of those days.”

  Graham stood on the other side of the door, smiling. “Good morning, Peyton. Morning, Nixie. I didn’t see you get up and leave. Did you rest well?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever slept deeper,” Nixie admitted, taking a seat on a chair as Graham took one opposite her. “Before I came here I tried to see Ranger, but Dr. Easton wouldn’t let me in. She said it was too early.”

  “Good old Doc. She’s very strict when it comes to her patients. You’ll be able to see him later.”

  “I wonder how he’s taking to bed rest. Ranger has never been able to stay still for very long.”

  Graham chuckled. “Well, even if he’s throwing a fit, she won’t let him get out of bed. She’ll strap him down and sedate him if he needs it. Anyway, I must be honest, I didn’t come here for just a casual chat, I’m afraid, as nice as it is. There’s something I’m curious about.”

  Peyton looked to Graham and Nixie caught the movement between them because she seemed to deflate on her chair just a bit. “Oh?” Her voice came out thin and softer than ever.

  “You’re not in trouble, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Graham said. “But Peyton did tell me something that I found rather interesting, and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

  Nixie spun to look at her, her eyes wide. “You swore you wouldn’t tell,” she cried.

  “But it’s Graham. He’s not going to hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want,” she said, trying to reassure her. Carefully she placed her hand on Nixie’s knee, hoping the touch would anchor her and keep her from running out the door.

  “No, I would never make you do anything. I was hoping you would show me because your gift could help everyone, but I understand if you don’t want to.”

  “Do you trust us?” Peyton asked, leaning close. Her hand never left its spot on Nixie’s knee.

  Nixie stared at the warm, affectionate hand on her leg and then looked at Graham and Peyton in turn. Did she trust them? Even with Peyton not telling her about Ranger? After everything that had happened, yes, of course she did. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t keeping her own secret. Don’t think about it. But could she trust herself not to screw it up?

  “What if I can’t do it?” she asked softly, more for herself than the others.

  “I believe in you. I know you can do it,” Peyton said.

  Graham added, “Then you can’t do it, and that’s okay.”

  But it’s not okay. I want to help everyone. “I’ll try.”

  “When?” Peyton asked eagerly. “I mean, it’s your call.”

  If Ranger wanted to leave when he was feeling well, then the sooner she did this, the better. “Now?” she asked.

  *

  Nixie hadn’t been on the roof of the building, and she could see why. There were a few raised beds scattered here and there, but most of the roof was covered in solar panels angled toward the sun. Only a few open spaces remained, and Nixie wondered how she’d be able to work.

  Walking to the center of the area, she surveyed the space and then turned back to Peyton and Graham. They stood just a little beyond the access door and nodded to her encouragingly.

  Nixie hadn’t been aware of what she was doing yesterday—had it really been only a day? So she closed her eyes and tried to recall the feeling. The cleansing scent of rain washed over her. Again it was just outside of her reach, calling to her, tantalizing her, but this time she reach
ed out for it. She tried to pull the scent closer to her and wrap it around her, welcoming it with outstretched arms. Taking two tentative steps forward, the scent grew stronger. Another step and it was almost there. She tried once more and barked her shin on one of the solar panels.

  Biting back a groan she opened her eyes. The scent started to bleed away, so she adjusted her position on the roof and tried again. Arms up and open, pulling the pleasing odor back to her, trying to make it into a blanket she could wrap around her body.

  Her feet moved of their own accord as she stepped carefully across the roof. This time she met with no obstacles, and she fell into a rhythm. The pulse of the rain just beyond her reach became a tempo she could dance to, and her body ached to feel it beat time against her skin. The wind picked up and lifted her hair from her shoulders as she stepped and twirled faster. The first drops of rain splattered against her skin, soaking into her clothing and quenching her almost permanent thirst. She soaked it up like sand in the desert and called the rain to her faster.

  Behind her she heard murmurs but could not make out the words. Peyton and Graham talking. This time she kept her surroundings in focus as much as she could. The first time she didn’t know what she was doing, but this time she could feel their presence behind her, offering wordless encouragement. She smiled as she danced. When she stepped faster, the rain fell heavily. When she slowed her pace, the rain eased to a gentle sprinkle that caressed the plants and her body as it fell to the earth.

  A sudden commotion behind her disrupted her concentration and she stopped her dance abruptly. Around her the rain continued to fall gently as she turned to face Graham and Peyton, only to find them confronting Ryan.

  “What the hell is this?” he yelled, his voice a discordant note unsettling the peaceful hum of the rain. He looked between Nixie and the rain, at her still outstretched arms and stared in wonder.

  “Ryan, just go back inside. This doesn’t concern you.” Peyton’s words broke his trance.

  He shook off his surprise and his eyes narrowed as his lips curled up in disgust. “The Travelers talked about freaks like you, but I never thought the stories were true.”

  “Go back inside,” Graham urged, blocking Ryan’s advance.

  “You knew about this? You knew she could do this? Why did you wait so long to make her? Our crops are dying,” he said, his voice a shrill scream as he forced his way past his two fellow Settlers. He stood between them, looking back and forth. “Why would you coddle her and make her life comfortable, when she’s caused you nothing but grief, Peyton? Are you that blind? That you let a pretty face get in the way of your common sense? Not much of a leader, are you?”

  “What are you talking about?” Peyton spat, taking a step toward Ryan. Graham held on to her arm, barely restraining her, but she ceased her movements.

  “What am I talking about? Ha! You’re nothing but a joke. Some great leader you’ve turned out to be. What a way to honor your father by falling for the bitch who killed him.”

  Nixie took a step back, gasping, mimicking Graham and Peyton.

  “How dare you,” Peyton started, but the rest of her words failed her.

  Graham stepped in, calm as ever even as Nixie’s world started crumbling around her. “That’s a large accusation, Ryan. You know we don’t accuse people here without evidence.”

  “Evidence? I’d say a confession counts. That dirty Scav’s friend admitted everything. He killed Enrique and she stood there and watched. Bet she didn’t tell you that, did she?” Ryan turned to face Nixie, his face marred by a sneer. “You Scavs try to act so tough, but you talk pretty easily. You were there the night Enrique was killed.” He turned back to Peyton. “You wanted revenge, didn’t you? Well now we have him, and it’s all thanks to me.”

  He continued to speak, but Nixie didn’t hear his words. She looked past him, trying desperately to catch Peyton’s eyes, but the girl wouldn’t look up at her. She looked just beyond her, as if she didn’t exist, and Nixie’s heart started falling to pieces as the rain subsided.

  “Peyton, please,” she whispered.

  “You were there,” Peyton finally said once Ryan had stopped talking. “You were there, and you watched my father die, and this whole time you’ve been telling me you didn’t know what happened. You lied to me.”

  “You lied to me, too,” Nixie said weakly, but it was useless. A small part of Nixie wanted to continue the lie to preserve herself, but she couldn’t. Not anymore. What good would it do when the truth would just come out in the end and make things even worse? She hung her head, frustrated for not being honest in the first place. But I didn’t know her then. I hated her for what she was.

  “All you Scavs are alike—dirty, thieving murderers.” Ryan’s words went straight through her and she jerked her head up to look at him. The smug look on his face tore apart the last shreds of her composure and it snapped like a taut wire.

  Nixie launched herself at Ryan, her fists out. He dodged her first blow, but she caught him on the second. She might have been small, but she was faster than he expected. He stopped her before she could get a second blow in.

  “Peyton, where are you going?”

  Nixie spun at the sound of Graham’s voice, just in time to see her disappear into the access door. She wrenched herself free from Ryan’s grasp and chased after her, calling out as she went.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  “Where is he?” Peyton yelled as she burst through Dr. Easton’s door. The rage that had held her in its grip after Dad died bubbled to the surface and threatened to boil over. His murderer was in their home taking advantage of their kindness and using their supplies. On the way down from the roof she thought she heard Dad’s voice calling out to her, begging her to be reasonable and think everything through, but she refused to listen.

  Not even his ghost would make her change her mind.

  Ryan was right. She hated to admit it, but he was. Everyone had been laughing behind her back. Especially Nixie. The name stabbed through her chest and she struggled to suck in a breath. She’d deal with the devastation of her betrayal later, but for now, she had bigger fish to fry.

  “What’s the meaning of this?” Dr. Easton appeared through one of the doorways, frowning. “You can’t just come slamming through the door like that, Peyton. I have patients resting.”

  “Like hell you do. Where is the Scavenger? He’s not staying with us any longer.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “He killed Dad. He admitted it to Ryan.”

  “Since when do you listen to Ryan?”

  “Since Nixie pretty much confirmed it. Where is he?”

  Dr. Easton backed up and barred one of the doors. “Why do you want to see him? I don’t think I should let you in when you’re clearly in distress.”

  “Get out of my way.”

  “I refuse. When it comes to my patients, I pull rank over you. If you don’t leave now, I’ll have you removed. Don’t make this difficult, Peyton. I know you’re still grieving, but you will not harm this man. Not while he’s under my care.”

  Peyton advanced and stood toe-to-toe with the older woman. She didn’t want to involve her, but if she wouldn’t move, she had no choice. “Then release him from your care.”

  “You would go after a man who can’t defend himself?”

  “He went after my father and the others, and they were unarmed.”

  “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Peyton.”

  “No, but it’ll make me feel a hell of a lot better.”

  Dr. Easton sighed. “Maybe for a little while, but I know the pain you’re feeling. It will fester like an infected wound and just get worse. Killing him will not bring your father back, and it won’t make what he did right.” A commotion at the door distracted Dr. Easton long enough for Peyton to push past her into the room. Ranger lay on the bed, his eyes half-lidded and looking up at her as best he could. It was only when she saw him lying there that she realized she hadn’t brought anything with her to take
care of the problem. She glanced around the room.

  “I’m sorry about your father,” he managed before her hands closed around his throat.

  “Don’t you dare speak about him when you killed him!” she cried. He closed his eyes and gasped as her hands closed tighter. The more she thought about it, the hotter her fury burned, and the more her hands gripped.

  There was a sound behind her, a blur, and a sharp pain in her shoulder as she was knocked off balance. Her grip loosened for only a moment, but it was enough, because suddenly Nixie was between her and Ranger.

  “Get out of my way.”

  “No!” Nixie cried, the look in her eyes wild. “I know you’re angry, Peyton, but you can’t kill him! We were just doing what we had to in order to survive.”

  “You attacked them and then killed him. How is that surviving?”

  “We were desperate. You don’t understand what it’s like to live the way we do. You have everything provided for you.”

  “We work for what we have. It doesn’t just fall from the sky.”

  “It’s still easier. You have technology we could only dream of.”

  “You lied to me, Nixie. You told me you didn’t know who killed him, and you were right there when it happened.”

  “I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, and I know I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I didn’t know you like I do now, and I was scared. You would have killed me.”

  Peyton opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn’t. She would have killed her. She was so bent on revenge that she wouldn’t have hesitated. Like she hadn’t hesitated to come after Ranger moments ago. The realization slammed into her with painful accuracy and she cringed. I’m a monster. She took a step back, her gaze moving between Ranger and Nixie. She put even more space between them. “Dr. Easton.” She called to the woman in the doorway and beckoned her forward without taking her eyes from Nixie.

  “Are you done?”