Cynic, Surfer, Saint (Scenic Route to Paradise #1)

by Andrea Aarons

  These questions confused Rifta, “What? Yes, in America!”

  “Of course, I hope so,” said Toni, laughing.

  Rifta said, “Mishael’s cousin Hugh wants me to tell you he figured it out, no?” This caught Toni by surprise. Now she was confused. Rifta continued, “Yes, he says it was on the water, no?”

  Rifta didn’t wait for her answer but related, “Venice, you were in the leetle boat with tourist… Yes, he remembers now it was five maybe, seven years ago, no?”

  Toni shook her head. She said, “Rifta, please tell Mr. D’Almata that it isn’t possible. I haven’t been to Italy since I was in college and that was before you were born, Mr. Smart Guy!”

  “Oh?” was his response. “Okay,” and he hung up.

  Toni had wanted to ask him if they were still arriving on Thursday evening as their itinerary stated but she didn’t get a chance. Staring at her phone and wondering about Hugh D’Almata’s short-term memory, Toni decided she would call them on Wednesday to find out.

  Tuesday morning after her early morning walk, she showered and headed back to the grocery store to stock up on the foods necessary for the menu plans she organized.

  It was before noon when Toni returned. The freezer items were going inside first, when the delivery truck drove up the long driveway. Wondering what was arriving, she continued inside with three heavy bags. As Toni came outside once more, the delivery man was standing at the door with his electronic pad and pen. There on the ground was a long package, the distinctive shape of a surfboard.

  “What’s this?” She asked herself but the man in black answered.

  “It’s a surfboard… coming from Flagstaff, Arizona,” he said.

  Toni grinned and laughed and grinned again. “Flagstaff! It must be my old Plastic Fantastic!” She could hardly believe her eyes and the thought of the board brought back a rush of memories – the good, the bad and the ugly – specifically, her five inch scar. The deliveryman was a surfer and so, a lively conversation ensued which ended when a beige Mercedes came racing up the drive.

  Incredulous, Toni said, “They’re here!”

  Mr. Delivery said, “Well, I’m gone… I’d like to see that cool board. I’ll see you in the water!”

  Oh, no you won’t! Toni responded mentally but she lifted her lips and nodded. He turned and walked back to his truck. The car pulled alongside of the delivery van. Mishael was out as it rolled to a stop. Toni watched Rifta and Hugh emerge. She couldn’t hear them from her post at the door but as she approached, Toni was shocked to hear the young delivery man giving her kudos because of the board he had delivered. Mishael was nodding in agreement. Hugh’s eyebrows were shooting up and receding repeatedly behind his sunglasses, as he looked from her to the package lying by the front door.

  Rifta seemed to be the only one not moved by the enthusiasm of the delivery driver. Toni was embarrassed… She positively had no plans of getting on the Plastic Fantastic. Wishing heartedly that the man in black cap would hush-up and go back to work!

  Well, now… And then, “Rifta, you’ve arrived right on time. I’ve just come from the market.” She decided to repress her surprise and irritation at their unannounced premature arrival.

  Mishael and Hugh followed Rifta and Toni inside. Rifta brought in the packages she carried and then he continued his roundtrips to bring in all the groceries while Toni showed the others around.

  “Very modern,” said Hugh as they returned to the main room. “But, I like it, anyway.”

  Mishael nodded and then nodded again towards the package. “I want to see this fantastic plastic you have… Perhaps, that is the one I should have too?”

  “Certainly, you may see it and even try it out on the water but you must stand up on a board in the water first,” Toni told him. “Let me get a knife and you can have a look,” she said. As if on cue, Mishael and Hugh each pulled forth six inch daggers before Toni had taken more than a few steps toward the kitchen. Mishael put his away and Hugh offered to dissect the cardboard wrapping. When Rifta joined them a moment later, Hugh had him finish.

  Toni explained to Mishael that this was not the right size or type of board for him. He nodded but didn’t take his eyes from the emerging silver sleeve that encased the board. Rifta held the packaging while Toni pulled the covered board free.

  Plainly, it was a dinosaur compared to the sleek, lightweight, double-finned boards presently on the water and it was an eye scorching, bright orange. The vintage board was in mint condition and Mishael’s eyes shone as Toni displayed it.

  Mishael launched into the jumping exercise where he lay on his stomach and popped up into a crouching stand. Toni had told him every surfer practiced this exercise for a smooth, quick rise as they stand on their surfboard to drop into a wave.

  Rifta left to spy out the land.

  Hugh stated, “I’m hungry.”

  Toni said, “I bought a ton of groceries but I didn’t know you would be arriving today.”

  “Mishael wanted to get started… You see, we skipped a few of your tourist attractions. We stopped in Wilmington last night and drove up this morning before we breakfasted,” Hugh told her.

  “Oh, you are hungry then. Let me see, I didn’t get any lunch meat but I have a small ham in the icebox. You do eat ham, don’t you,” she asked.

  “Yes, yes. We eat everything and we are not picky. Ham, hamburgers… with pickles. Whatever you prefer, certainly,” said Hugh. Rifta had come back in. He passed the busy Mishael who was beginning to grunt between his counting. He was speaking the D’Almata language but Toni was sure he must be at 20 or 25 by now. Hugh climbed the steps to checkout the top floor of which Toni had not shown them.

  Rifta said to Toni, “This Huram D’Almata, he wants hamburgers with pickles, no?”

  “…Yes,” she hesitated but guessed he was correct. “Rifta, why didn’t you call?” Toni asked. “I would have gotten the fresh groceries today but I thought you were coming on Thursday.”

  Rifta put his eyebrows together. “What! But I did call, no?”

  She said, “Yes, you called…”

  Rifta interrupted, “Yes, I did.”

  “That’s true,” she agreed. “If I give you a list, would you run to the store for me?”

  “I was running always on D’Almata before we left. I will drive the car, no?” He stated. Toni’s head bobbed in agreement and she kept nodding mechanically as she thought that these two months may have more in store than she had bargained for or prayed about.

  Finally, she said, “I like that idea. It’s better to drive.” And then, “Is the luggage still in the trunk?”

  Rifta went to unload the car. Mishael stretched out on the floor, breathing loudly and Hugh had come downstairs. Toni offered the men something to drink. Hugh plucked two soft drinks from the refrigerator and gave one to Mishael before sitting at the counter across from Toni as she revised her grocery list. They were quiet as Rifta went back and forth with the suitcases and travel paraphernalia.

  As Toni finished her list of a dozen or more items, she casually asked Hugh, “So, do you have cars on D’Almata?”

  He looked at her suspiciously before answering, “Yes… but what makes you think we do not have cars? Do you think we D’Almatans live in the stone-age, riding goats or something?”

  Toni’s fertile imagination got the best of her and she said with a great wide smile, “Goats! No, I never thought of that.” And then she laughed out loud with a picture in her head of Hugh on a goat riding about the streets of D’Almata. Mishael sat up and looked at her. Rifta smiled as he went by. Hugh’s eyebrows had shot up which made Toni laugh again. She forced her lips shut but the edges were curved up in a tell-tale smile.

  Mishael piped up, “I have two cars.”

  “Yes, and his mother owns the third one,” said Rifta who was finished with the luggage.

  Oh, no… Are there only three cars on the islands? I am going to laugh again, thought Toni.

  Hugh said seriously, “If
we wanted lots of cars on D’Almata, we would have invented the automobile but it was not necessary.”

  Toni turned her back on them but her shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. Wanting a diversion, she went to the refrigerator and took meat from the freezer. Regaining her composure, she turned back to them and saw that only Hugh was staring at her with a frown. She glanced past him and said to Rifta, “Take the car and get these things. I am going to grill the burgers so be back as quickly as you can.”

  Hugh pushed away from the counter and said, “I better go too. Come on, Rifta.”

  “Mishael,” Toni began as soon as they had left. “I hope I didn’t hurt your cousin’s feelings. About the cars and the goats,” she explained.

  “Feelings? My cousin Hugh has buried his feelings way down under his pride somewhere. I don’t think you should worry about hurting his feelings but his pride is another story,” Mishael said.

  “Yes, perhaps but he said something about riding goats. He doesn’t ride a goat does he?” she questioned in sincerity. “I mean horses yes but… I have an active mind and so…” She trailed off but Mishael saw she was smiling.

  He chuckled, “No, it’s an old-fashioned idiom of ours… Although I never pictured anyone riding a goat when that phrase was used. Of course, now I am positive that I will picture it!”

  Toni began mixing and then forming the hamburger patties for an early lunch. Toni chose her words carefully saying to Mishael who had taken Hugh’s stool at the counter, “Mishael, I sense that this going to be a wonderfully significant time for you these next two months. And yet, I am worried that I will be offending you or your uncle frequently because of my ignorance in regards to your richly historic culture.”

  Mishael nodded understandingly at her words but he didn’t give any other response. After an awkward pause, she said, “What I mean is, do you think you could help me when I say or do something that is offensive? I would appreciate it and I am sure everyone would be better off.”

  Mishael said cheerfully, “I think it is hopeless but I will try.”

  Toni wasn’t too encouraged by this reply but she said, “Marvelous! Thank you for your willingness.” Mishael gave the nod again. “Now,” she asked, “Is it too offensive to ask a prince to set the table?”

  “No, of course it isn’t! I will set the table whenever you want me to until I become king and then I won’t!” His response was what she had hoped it would be. Some of the information from Celina’s folder was scary in its accuracy.

  After lunch, Toni mentioned the pile of luggage the airport had delivered. It was alarmingly observable being in the main space not 30 feet from the eating counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. Only Rifta had examined it although he hadn’t moved a single piece. Mishael looked at the stuff but shrugged. Hugh said, “I cannot think of a single item that I want from those things. Also, it is strange how we can do without when we must.” He looked to Toni for a response.

  She was wary after the goat incident, but she murmured, “So true.”

  Rifta had taken his shoes off and he lay on one of the couches with his eyes closed. He said, “During our war, items we took for granted – everyday things, no? Yes, we missed most.”

  Hugh said, “Yes, I know what you’re saying. The extras, the lavish comforts you expect to do without during… certain times of duress but the everyday necessities make for real hardship when they are not to be had.” Toni could tell he spoke from experience. Lying on a thick throw rug, Mishael looked away from his surfing magazine toward his cousin and nodded. He was too young to have experienced the oppression and deprivations that occurred in D’Almata’s recent history but he had heard the stories. She looked to Rifta who appeared to have fallen asleep. Toni knew that he must have been child when their Bosnian civil war broke out. She wanted to talk to Rifta about the war and his experience but she didn’t want to be pushy or hurtful.

  Hugh was watching her. She stood behind the counter, finishing the lunch clean-up as they were talking. He said, “I remember now. You and your mother were shopping in New York. I think it was your Black Friday at Macy’s…” He stopped because Toni had looked up and shook her head but she was smiling. He will remember when he sees me standing in the water – in the surf up to my knees; then it will come back to him! I am the trespasser – or so he thought that morning just a week ago!

  “You have been a lot of places, Mr. D’Almata,” Toni said but when Mishael suddenly looked at her and gave a warning nod, shaking his head from left to right, she changed her wording. “Er, huh Hugh D’Almata,” Toni was trying to remember what the literature had said about titles and names. “You seemed to have seen me where I have not been,” she finished lamely.

  A scant frown came and went before Mishael shrugged and went back to his reading while Hugh’s eyebrows shot up and down again. With feigned indifference, Toni concentrated on a make-believe stain as she scrubbed the counter.

  “You’ve never been to Macy’s in New York on Black Friday?” Hugh asked.

  Toni was flustered. If she talked to this man she would undoubtedly insult him but she must interact with him. She said, “Well yes, I was there once on Black Friday but it only took once and I never did it again.”

  Hugh replied, “Well then, you see… that is when I saw you.”

  “I wasn’t with my mother,” Toni said scrubbing the supposed stain with great gusto.

  “Who was that woman you were with then?” Hugh asked.

  Toni said, “My sister!”

  He said, “Your older sister, certainly.”

  “Why yes, she is the eldest,” Toni said as she scrubbed.

  “Of course, that is why I thought she was your mother,” Hugh concluded.

  Toni looked to Mishael who glanced up but then quickly returned to his magazine. “I think I was seventeen or maybe younger. That was over thirty years ago,” Toni said victoriously.

  Hugh shrugged, saying, “That long ago? You must be mistaken then because I was not in New York thirty years ago. You could not have seen me then.”

  Toni had an idea. “Oh, I’ve thought of something!” She looked up at Hugh. Coming from behind the counter, she asked, “Could I show you something? I need to ask your advice.” He agreed and she took him outside through the kitchen door and then across the gravel drive.

  Once inside the garage, Hugh pointed up the steps. “Do you like your accommodations?” he asked.

  Toni’s mind was on her plan when she absentmindedly replied, “The view is beautiful but it’s lonely up there!” Actually, she missed her dogs. Hugh’s brows shot up again and he rubbed his chin as if in thought. Reddening, she stammered, “D-dogs! I have two dogs… I miss them.”

  “Dogs!” He exclaimed failing to sound convinced. To his credit, Hugh smoothed over the clumsy interval by telling of his own pack of hounds left on D’Almata.

  As he spoke, Toni opened one of the huge front swinging garage doors. The cavernous room filled with light. The three new surfboards were leaning against the back wall.

  “These two boards are for Mishael,” Toni said, pulling the conversation back on track. “I will use the other smaller one.”

  Hugh examined them and then asked, “What can I tell you about these little boats that you don’t already know?”

  Still inwardly blushing over her misspoken insinuation, Toni said, “It’s not about the surfboards. I thought you would like to see them but more importantly, I’m wondering if you can assist me in learning about your culture. I have read a limited amount of information but I realize I know almost nothing. Thinking ahead, I don’t want to be constantly offending you or insulting your prince. Two months is not so very long if all goes well and I do not want Mishael to return from finishing his tour with a disappointing experience.”

  Hugh’s eyebrows went up and came down again before he answered. He said, “Our culture is richly extensive and two months is insufficient to tell the half of it. D’Almata is more of an experience t
han a verbal description.”

  Nodding, Toni suggested, “Perhaps, you would help me when I start down a road of offense should I speak out of turn? We Americans are different. Our casual speech can be naively insulting. I’m sure you know what I mean?”

  Toni thought of the conversation she had overheard from the Nelson’s kitchen closet, between Hugh and Mishael. Hugh had said, he wanted to enjoy himself and not have to stand around saying polite things to a woman. Was this what he meant and was she asking him to do just that? With this in mind, she wanted to end their conversation and also, to pray about her approach before she blundered anymore. Toni began walking toward the opened garage door. Hugh had picked up one of the surfboards and was following her out.

  Hugh said, “I hear what you are saying but you have an agenda that mystifies me.” Toni went inside and pushed the remote. The large door swung down to close. She bent her head and exited. An agenda? Toni had learned in her half century of living that most criticisms were based in truth. She smirked as she looked up into his eyes – they were grey, clear and lacking guile; she hadn’t noticed that before.

  Toni repeated, “Agenda?” He was right of course but she hadn’t put the descriptive word to her actions. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” she said stalling to prepare an answer.

  The eyebrows shot up and Toni pictured them staying there for the next two months, like a misapplied Botox shot. She couldn’t help it but her slight smile broadened at the thought. But the brows came down again as he replied, “Okay, as you Americans say – I will tell you.”

  Although, they were standing in the shade the heat and humidity was exhausting. Therefore as intriguing as the conversation was, Toni hoped he would tell her inside sitting comfortably in the air-condition. As if he read her thoughts, Hugh said, “But not yet. It is too much. Mishael has kept me busy, overmuch for two weeks or three. I need a nap… The lunch you made was exactly as I wanted. Thank you, it was exceptional.” He looked up toward her apartment. “You get some rest too. We will talk again when you are ready.”

  Her rooms were cool. Toni closed the shades. Her thoughts skipped about as she tried to herd them into order. She realized that Hugh’s stipulation that they would talk “when she was ready” was open-ended. Hugh might think he would know when she was ready but Toni decided she didn’t want to have that conversation after all.