Could've Said Yes

by Tracy March

  “I’ll need a rain check.” She bunched her lips, stifling a smile. “Bummer.”

  “We can still celebrate so many sales.” He imagined all the ways…

  “Definitely.” She glanced over at the couple Holly was helping. “They look like they might seriously want that picture. I’d better go see if I can work some of my magic.”

  Just like you did on me.

  “I’ll head out, then.”

  She grasped one of his hands and threaded her fingers between his. “I’m so happy you came.”

  “Me, too,” he said. “One more thing. Want to stay in or go out tonight?”

  The look in her eyes told him that she understood what a big step going out would be for him. Collin had gone to the I Bar with her, and come to the arts festival. Now he was ready to take her on a real date like she deserved.

  Ellie bit her bottom lip, excitement dancing in her eyes. “Let’s go out.” She tipped her head coyly. “Then stay in. Who says we can’t do both?”

  Chapter 20

  Ellie smoothed her hand down the front of her snug sea-foam-green knit shirt, and twirled before the full-length mirror in her bedroom. The tassels of her tan, open-weave vest flared and settled around her chocolate-brown leggings. Her suede ankle boots finished off the outfit.

  She’d decided that she and Collin would go to The Canary to celebrate. The restaurant that resembled an upscale saloon was not to be missed by anyone visiting Thistle Bend—and the locals also found it hard to stay away.

  “Fried chicken.” Ellie smiled. “It’s what’s for dinner.”

  She was so happy that Collin had asked her out. That he’d become comfortable enough in public to initiate a date. He’d gone with her to the I Bar, but that had been all her doing. And he hadn’t seemed a hundred percent at ease there. How could he have been, considering? He’d come out to the arts festival today to surprise her, and look what he’d had to face. Ellie imagined he’d heard plenty of snide comments like the one from the guy at her booth. She regretted that Collin had to hear them, but maybe that incident had thickened his armor.

  Maybe things were just getting better.

  If tonight went well, there were a lot of other places she’d like to take him, and fun things they could do before he left Thistle Bend.

  The knot in Ellie’s chest tightened. She had tried to ignore it, but the pressure became worse with every day that passed. Every sunset meant she was one day closer to Collin’s leaving.

  No more eating dinners on the patio.

  No more watching movies, snuggling on the couch.

  No more kissing good night or waking up in his arms.

  Ellie blew out a long breath, determined to make the most of tonight regardless of what tomorrow might bring.

  She glanced at the clock next to her bed. Collin was supposed to be there in five minutes. As silly as it was, her stomach fluttered with nerves—she so wanted tonight to go well.

  Ellie headed into the living area, where she had the Rockies game on TV. When she and Collin hadn’t been watching movies, they’d been watching baseball. She’d liked the game before, but he was turning her into a real fan.

  Bases were loaded for the Rockies. One out in the bottom of the seventh in a scoreless game against the Dodgers. The count was 2–1, with a fastball coming—

  Dramatic music interrupted the feed, and a Breaking News banner appeared on the screen, along with the local news station’s logo. The shot switched to the anchor, a Hispanic guy not too much older than Ellie who wore a dark jacket with a bright blue tie and a pocket square to match.

  “Breaking right now,” the anchor said, “is a stunning development involving the Big Star Mine spill that has polluted local waterways, especially the Lariat River, turning it the color of mustard. Effects are being felt by people and livestock as far south as New Mexico.”

  Ellie gazed at the TV, wondering what new information had surfaced—hopefully something good. Water quality had been getting better, but maybe there’d been a vast improvement, and Matt would be back in business soon.

  Collin’s footsteps sounded on the porch.

  She rushed to the screen door and opened it. “Hey, hurry. Come look. There’s some breaking news about the spill. Do you know what’s going on?”

  Looking super-hot in black jeans and a light gray button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he came inside, his brow furrowed. “No.” He put his arm around her, pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head. “You look amazing,” he said, then focused his attention on the TV.

  “That makes two of us,” Ellie teased.

  “We’re going to join our colleague Lowell Byrd at the church located across the street from the Emergency Response Headquarters in Thistle Bend for an impromptu news conference,” the anchor said, and the screen split to show the reporter on-site. “Lowell, we understand that this is not a conference called by the EPA, or local or state officials.”

  Ellie leaned her head on Collin’s shoulder as they watched.

  “That’s correct.” Lowell was a lanky young guy, probably not too long out of college, wearing trendy glasses with dark frames. “One of the workers from the site claims he has exclusive information pertinent to the spill, and he’s eager to make a statement.”

  Ellie glanced up at Collin as he stared at the television, a deep crease between his eyebrows. She clutched him tightly. “Maybe this is something good.”

  He covered his mouth with his hand and dragged it down to his chin.

  “Looks like he’s getting started,” Lowell said. “Let’s cut to him now.”

  Ellie narrowed her eyes as the camera panned to Gary Holdren dressed in tan pants and a plaid shirt, standing on the steps of the Thistle Bend Community Church. Maddy was at his side, holding three-year-old Kenzie, who had a yellow bow in her strawberry-blond hair.

  “That’s Gary,” Ellie said. “And Maddy and Kenzie.”

  Collin released her. “Ellie, I—”

  “Shh.” She nudged his biceps. “Let’s hear what he has to say.”

  Gary looked at the camera stoically. “There’s been some, um, misinformation that’s gotten out since the breach up at the Big Star site. I’m here tonight with my family to set the record straight.”

  Collin shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  Gary cast a wary glance at Maddy, who nodded. He faced the camera and said, “I was the man operating the backhoe that day. I caused the breach that polluted the Lariat River.”

  Ellie’s blinked a couple of times, unsure if she’d heard right.

  Gary took a deep breath. “I’m deeply sorry for all the hardship the spill has caused, and I take full responsibility for my actions.” He bowed his head. “I regret I didn’t come forward sooner, and allowed another man to take the blame for my mistake. I hope you’ll find it in your hearts to forgive me.”

  Ellie’s heart stuttered as she set her gaze on Collin’s, and stepped away from him. “It wasn’t you?”

  Collin pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head.

  Ellie’s stomach went a little queasy. “All this time—you had to know. I mean, only one guy was on that backhoe when the accident happened, and Gary just said it was him—in front of the cameras and on TV. Why would you have lied about something as serious as that?”

  Collin looked a little paler than he had a couple minutes ago. “It wasn’t a lie, exactly.” He pressed his fingers to his forehead. “I led everyone to believe it was me, but—”

  “Why would you do that—especially to me? How could you have come here night after night, and had dinners with me, watched movies with me, slept in my bed, knowing that I believed it was you?” Heat radiated in her face.

  “I did it for Gary.” Collin clenched his jaw. “He was on the backhoe. He caused the breach. And he was so damn devastated. He’s seen disasters like that happen around here before, and lived through the awful aftermath. The guy knew exactly how it was going to affect his relatives, his
friends, his neighbors—and countless people he didn’t even know and would probably never meet. He’s got a wife, a daughter, and a son on the way, and they plan to stay in Thistle Bend forever. What kind of life would that be for him? He’d never live the accident down. His kids would be the ones whose dad caused the river to look like mustard, and put lots of people out of work. They shouldn’t have to grow up that way.”

  Ellie’s pulse thrummed in her ears. “I get all that, but why?”

  “I had a lot to lose myself.” He shook his head. “My promotion. My reputation at work. But I figured I could go back to Durham and dig myself out. I only have myself to worry about. Dealing with a few weeks of being the villain and then splitting the scene seemed like a way better option than leaving Gary to take the rap for the spill for a lifetime.”

  “That sounds really noble.” Ellie’s voice was sharp with anger. “And I might think it was an amazing thing for you to do—if you hadn’t lied to me about it.” Her mind was spinning but she could remember nearly every word she and Collin had ever said to each other. “The night after the spill, you came here and gave me an abbreviated version of what had happened. I asked if you wanted to talk more about it, and you didn’t.” She crossed her arms and clutched her waist. “You could’ve said yes. You could’ve said, ‘I wasn’t actually the one who caused the breach, but I’m taking the fall for Gary, and here’s why. But you lied instead.”

  “I didn’t lie, Ellie. I was careful with every word I said to you.”

  “That must have been why you said so little.” She bit her bottom lip hard. “You might not have lied with your words, but you lived it. You came here with all your angst, and made me believe it. There I was, thinking I was helping you, that we really had something…and all you were doing was manipulating me.”

  “That’s not true.” Collin took a step closer to her, and she moved back. “You were helping me. You still are.” He started to pace. “Don’t you think there were times that I totally regretted my decision—that I had no idea how deep the crap was going to get for me, but I was stuck in it? I made a split-second decision, and convinced Gary to let me take the blame. It was an instinctive reaction that I didn’t think through. I felt bad for the guy, but I didn’t have time to envision calling my parents and telling them I was responsible, or my grandfather. Or to imagine I wouldn’t be able to take you out anywhere and make the most of our time together. I just did it. And I was doing my best to live with that.” He stopped pacing and tried to catch her gaze, but she refused to look at him. “We really do have something.”

  Ellie swallowed against the emotion thickening in her throat. “How can you even say that? You didn’t trust me. Every day you had the chance to tell me the truth so I could truly understand what you were going through—and you didn’t. Every night you spent in my bed.” She shrugged weakly. “You could’ve left here tomorrow or next week, and I would have lived the rest of my life thinking you caused that breach.”

  “It was best for Gary if no one knew but me.”

  Ellie sucked in a ragged breath. “Don’t make things worse, Collin.” She gave him a tight-lipped, rueful smile. “Here I was, excited we were going on a date tonight. And combined with what happened at the arts festival today, this was going to be one of the best days I’ve ever had.” She finally looked him in the eyes, her heart aching more with each beat. “But we’re not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not ever.”

  —

  Collin took the roads back to Thistle Bend way too fast, refusing to let up on the throttle, even in the tightest of turns. The necklace he had intended to give Ellie practically burned in the pocket of his leather jacket.

  Dammit, Gary. Why did you do that?

  On the day of the breach, he and Gary had been the only two guys working near the plug. The moment mustard-colored water started pouring out, and Gary realized what had happened, he jumped off the backhoe, freaking out.

  “This is really bad, man,” Gary had said, his face pinched in a grimace. “I’m going to lose my job. I’ve got a family—a wife, a little girl, a son on the way. What will this do to them? I’ve seen shit storms like this before, and now I’m gonna be right in the middle of it.” He flattened his hand over his forehead. “This is going to screw people.” He leveled his desperate gaze on Collin. “I’ll be a black sheep in this town forever.”

  Collin took a quick glance at the water rushing out as workers hurried toward them. Having no clue what the real impact of the spill would be, or how much water would actually leak, Collin made the snap decision to offer to take the rap for Gary.

  Collin reached out and gripped Gary’s shoulder. “I’m going to tell them I did it. I’ve only got myself to worry about, and they’ll be shipping me back to Durham anytime.” Water gushed from the breach. “It’s not good, I agree with you. But I won’t have to stay here and live with the aftermath. You will. I’ve got your back, man. But this has to stay between you and me. You okay with that?”

  The other men drew closer, shouting orders and yelling at Collin and Gary, “What the hell happened?”

  Gary leveled his teary-eyed gaze on Collin, and nodded once.

  “Good,” Collin squeezed Gary’s shoulder. “Let me handle it.”

  Gary had thanked Collin every day since—especially after the officials came swarming in and the fallout got intense. But Collin had no clue that Gary had been going wobbly on him. No idea he would stand before the media and come clean.

  Collin blazed into town, zipping through the streets until he reached the Holdrens’ small, Craftsman-style bungalow. Surprised there were no reporters out front, he stopped the bike, cut the engine, and sat there a second. He worked to steady his breathing and collect his thoughts.

  Talk about a shit storm.

  Collin could deal with whatever the brass might do to him because of this, but what had happened with Ellie had really rocked him.

  You might not have lied with your words, but you lived it.

  The vise tightened in Collin’s chest. He’d tried to defend himself, but after hearing her argument, he could understand where she was coming from. He had no defense, except for his promise to Gary that their secret would stay between them. No doubt that had seemed like a flimsy excuse to Ellie.

  Collin took off his helmet and hung it back on one of the handgrips. He’d known he would have to leave her, but he never thought things would end the way they had.

  We’re not going anywhere.

  Not tonight.

  Not ever.

  He’d stood there stunned, and out of arguments.

  “I think you should leave,” she’d said. The hurt in her eyes had nearly destroyed him, but he knew better than to try to comfort her. She had already stepped away from him—literally and figuratively—chin up, arms crossed. He’d laid everything out for her, but it had been too late.

  Everything?

  Collin stared at the shadows moving behind the curtains in the Holdrens’ house, his hands in his jacket pockets. He gripped the box containing the necklace he’d bought for Ellie, tipped his head back, and blew out a long breath.

  “Deal with that later,” he murmured, and got off the bike.

  Deal with Gary now.

  He strode up the sidewalk to Gary’s house, stepped onto the porch, and rang the doorbell. Someone parted a curtain in one of the front windows, and Collin nodded in that direction. Seconds later, Gary opened the door and gestured for Collin to come in.

  Just inside, Maddy sat on the couch in a small living area, and Kenzie played with dolls in front of the television, some Disney movie keeping her entertained.

  “Have a seat, man.” Gary swept his hand toward a brown leather recliner facing the couch.

  Collin sank down onto it, and Gary sat close to Maddy, both their faces tight with tension.

  “Sorry I didn’t tell you ahead of time.” Gary leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees. “Figured you’d just try to talk me out of it.”

  Co
llin nodded. “But I don’t get it. Things were working out okay. When I saw you two at the I Bar, everything seemed fine. What changed?”

  Gary sat up straight, glanced at Maddy, and lifted his shoulders. “I thought I couldn’t live with people thinking I caused such a disaster. Truth is, I couldn’t live with myself because I didn’t admit doing it.”

  “He couldn’t eat,” Maddy said. “Couldn’t sleep.”

  Gary put his arm around her. “I started avoiding Maddy and Kenzie.”

  Kenzie heard her name, got up, and climbed up next to him on the couch, carrying one of her dolls by its feet.

  Gary smoothed his hand over Kenzie’s hair. “That lie was eating me up inside.”

  Collin could relate, but there’d been no way he was going to go back on his word once he’d promised Gary he would take the rap for the spill.

  “I was in shock for a while after I breached that plug,” Gary said. “But the more time went by, the more I realized I’d done the wrong thing, letting you suffer the consequences for me.”

  “Then we saw you dancing with Ellie London at the I Bar,” Maddy said.

  Collin’s heart hiccuped. What did that have to do with any of this? He narrowed his eyes.

  “Right after the breach,” Gary said, “I told you I was worried about what it would mean for my family—Maddy, Kenzie, and the little one. You said you only had yourself to worry about. That they’d be shipping you back to Durham soon. Hearing that made it easier for me to let you to take the fall—seeing you as a tough loner and all—even though I never should’ve done it.” He raised his eyebrows. “But when I saw you dancing with Ellie…”

  “It was a side of you he hadn’t seen,” Maddy said. “He realized you had relationships that could be hurt by all this, too, whether you were in Thistle Bend or Durham.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I don’t imagine it’s been easy for you and Ellie.”

  How ironic that seeing him with Ellie had helped motivate Gary to come forward with the truth. And that very truth had crushed everything they had together.

  Collin shook his head but stopped short of mentioning anything about his relationship with Ellie. What was there to say?