Footprints In The Sand

by Michelle Horst

  I’m angry at Lacey for leaving me. I’m angry at her for being so selfish and only thinking of herself.

  I’m angry at the world.

  “I’ll make it!” I spit the words out. “I’ll make it and I’ll show all of you that I’m nothing like my dad.”

  ~*~

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lacey~

  Jan just drives, letting me cry. I’m thankful for this moment. It hurts to leave home, it huts so much. My mind is still a mess. I know in my heart I did the right thing, but it doesn’t make it any less painful.

  When we reach the city, Jan starts to talk. “I have a spare room you can use. I like to stay in my room when I have to work late, but I won’t be there a lot. We open at nine and close at six, but I’ll need you to help me clean up after we close.”

  She pauses and her eyes flick over me. “You only have the one bag?”

  I nod, not wanting to say anything that will ruin this. I need the place to stay and the job. I can’t do this on my own.

  It’s almost an hour’s drive back to the city. By the time we get there, it’s dark and I can’t make out much of the apartment building. It’s just one big block. Jan puts the car in park and opens her door, but then she looks back at me. “Look, hon, I’m not going to ask you a million questions. We all have our ghosts we run from. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to, but one day you’ll have to face those ghosts, or they’ll haunt you until you lose every last bit of your sanity.” She gets out of the car and calls, “Come on, let’s get you settled in.”

  I was wrong about the apartment building. It’s beautiful once you enter the courtyard. There are soft lights, giving light to a fountain, flowers, tables and chairs. It looks like something from a movie. I feel a flicker of hope for the first time since I left home.

  “If you think this is pretty, you’re going to love the roof,” Jan says as she heads for the stairs. I follow her up and we stop in front of number five. She unlocks the door and I follow her in. A strong strawberry smell hangs in the air. I scrunch my nose. Then I see the little bowls of potpourri everywhere. That must be where the smell comes from.

  The apartment is cozy. There are two couches, a mismatched pair. One is white with red roses and the other is brown with cream stripes. Jan notices that I’m staring at the couches and nods toward them. “They belonged to my grandparents. I don’t have the heart to get rid of them.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry-”

  Jan holds up her hand, stopping me from finishing the sentence. “They’ve been gone a long time.” She waves a hand in the direction of a dark hallway. “The rooms are down here.” I follow her, and I’m relieved when she puts on the lights. We stop at the first room and she points to behind me. “The bathroom’s in there. This here is your room.” She flicks on the light and I can’t help but smile. It’s wonderful. There’s a double bed, a dresser, everything a room should have. Jan goes to window and opens it. “Come look.”

  I put my bag down and follow her out the window. There’s a small balcony and stairs that go up and down against the side of the building. I follow Jan up. When we reach the top it’s very dark. I’m nervous until Jan does something and fairy lights light up the roof. It’s a garden! There is lush grass, and trees in pots, with the fairy lights woven between the branches, looking like twinkling fireflies. “Oh wow!” I climb over the edge and take in the beauty around me. “It’s so pretty!”

  “It’s my little slice of heaven. The lawn is instant, so it doesn’t need water. The trees need water, and I’d appreciate it if you could do that. I don’t always have time to come here after closing the café.”

  I nod eagerly. “Yes, of course.”

  “Let’s go back in. It’s getting late and I have to get back to S-” she stops in the middle of her sentence and turns away from me. “I have somewhere to be.”

  I take one last look around before I climb down the stairs and go back through the window. Jan doesn’t stay long. She shows me where a few things are kept before she leaves.

  I take a hot shower and go straight to bed. I’m so tired, to the very core of me.

  It’s been a week since I started working for Jan. It felt weird not going to school. I miss my parents so much! The little café is just like the apartment, cozy. I love it and working there helps ease the sadness. When I’m not busy my thoughts turn home, and I find myself wondering how my parents are coping and whether Seth even noticed that I left.

  I do my best, wanting to please Jan. For the first few days she watched me, and when she saw that I could cope with the customers, she retreated to the kitchen. She loves to bake and she makes the fluffiest flapjacks, and yummiest cookies.

  I’m picking up all the weight I lost when Mr. Brady took me. On the outside I look healthy again, like before everything happened. But on the inside, I’m a dark hollow mess, and the only thing echoing inside of my chest is guilt for what I’ve done to my parents.

  ~*~

  There is no concept of time when you’re consumed by darkness. You exist. You breathe past the constant ache and your heart beats heavily, each thump a reminder that you’re not truly alive.

  My eighteenth birthday came and went. I only remembered my birthday a few weeks after I turned eighteen, not that it mattered. My life now revolves around the café. This is my future.

  ~*~

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  (Four years later …)

  Seth~

  It’s funny how when you’re a kid you want to be an adult, and once you’re an adult you want to be a kid again. I didn’t have a choice. I had to become an adult when my life went to hell.

  The anger is still there. The guilt for not saving Mom is still there. I found some peace when Dad got sentenced. He’ll never be able to hurt anyone again. He tried to contact me once. He must be totally crazy if he thinks I want any kind of contact with him!

  I’ve finished my studies and now have to make another big decision in my life, what do I want to do? I’m not sure where to go from here. That’s another thing about being a kid, you live in a small world. When you become an adult and you have to make your own choices that world becomes awfully huge. It’s scary sometimes, but I won’t back down. I’ve come this far already, I’ll make it all the way.

  Aunt Janice moved back to the city when I started college. She always made sure I was taken care of and we made time for each other on Sundays. She is such a blessing in my life.

  Luckily, I still have money left after my studies. I’m tempted to go back packing through Europe, but then again, maybe I should start my own business.

  It’s the first Saturday after my graduation and I want to surprise Aunt Janice. She’s been spending so much time at work. When I call she’s always busy baking something. I normally see her on Sundays, but I’m sure she won’t mind the surprise visit.

  I park outside the building and appreciate the view as I walk to her apartment. I knock and when there’s no answer, I open the door. She’s like a mother to me, she wouldn’t mind if I let myself in. I go in and softly let the door close behind me. “Aunt Janice?” I hear water running and I assume she’s in the bathroom. I decide to wait for her and take a seat in the living room.

  A door opens and I hear someone humming. It doesn’t sound like Aunt Janice. I get up and look down the passage to see where Aunt Janice is, when I see a woman wrapped in towels. She has one around her head and one around her body, so I can’t see much of her. She glances in my direction and all I see is a blur of blue. With a shriek she darts into a room and slams the door shut behind her. I couldn’t make out much of her, as she had on one of those facial masks. I don’t understand why women put that stuff on their face.

  “Aunt Janice?” I try again and then I hear a muffled, “She’s at the café,” from behind the closed door.

  “Okay, thanks,” I call out and make sure to close the apartment door as I leave. That was actually funny. I have to remember to ask Aunt Janice who that is. I didn�
��t know anyone was living with her.

  ~*~

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  (Four years later …)

  Lacey~

  It’s my day off. Jan takes off on Sundays and I get Saturdays, that way we both at least get one day off a week. If it’s quiet we’ll take an afternoon here and there. It works for us. I love working at the café, it might not be something huge, but it makes me happy. I have a place to stay. I have food and a bed to sleep in, and I don’t need much more. I’m also aware that Jan pays me a lot, and I’ll be forever grateful for her. She’s my guardian angel.

  I always pamper myself on a Saturday morning. I do it all, from a facial mask to a pedicure. I only know Jan and the girls in apartment eight, and they all work on Saturdays, so I use the time to relax. We normally go for drinks on a Saturday night, but I just stay for one drink as I have to work the next day. Sometimes they only come home as I get ready to head out to work. They’re a crazy trio of friends, but they brighten my days.

  After a nice warm shower, I put on my facial mask. I rinse my hands and adjust the towel on my head as it starts to slide to the side. It’s time for my pedicure while I wait for the mask to dry. I open the bathroom door and all the steam escapes as I walk to my room.

  Something catches my eye and I glance casually in the direction of the lounge. All I see is a huge man before terror sets in. I scream and run into my room. I lock the door and grab my phone so I can dial 911, when I hear, “Aunt Janice?”

  I take a calming breath and clutching the phone to my chest I say, “She’s at the café.” My voice is hoarse from the fear pulsing through me. I take another step away from the door and towards my window, just to be safe. If that man comes through the door I’m out of the window in a heartbeat!

  “Okay, thanks.” I hear him call out and seconds later I hear a click of a door closing.

  I wait another ten minutes, listening to every single sound. Every creek and rustle in and around the apartment makes me jump with fright. I rush to my cupboard and yank out a pair of shorts and a shirt. I get dressed as fast as I can manage. The skin on my face stretches tight. It’s way past the time to wash the mask off.

  I grab the flashlight I always keep next to my bed. I swear I’ll whack that man into another blood group with the flashlight if he’s still here! I keep the phone close, ready to press dial and I slowly open the door.

  I peek down the passage and listen again for a few seconds. I sneak down the passage on my toes, doing my best not to make any noise. The kitchen and lounge is clear. I rush to the door and make sure it’s locked and then the thought hits hard – what if he’s in Jan’s bedroom, or the bathroom?

  My heart starts to thump in my ears and I run to the kitchen. I drop the flashlight and grab one of Jan’s cooking knifes. I hold it at waist level and I start to creep towards the hallway. I watched a program about self-defense once and the man said to stab from the waist, not swing from over your head. You have a better chance of striking at the attacker that way. I keep replaying it over and over in my head as I make my way down the hallway. I can’t afford to hesitate! I must just stab and run.

  I reach Jan’s room and throw the door open. I rush in with a shrill shriek, my eyes darting everywhere. I check behind her bed to make sure the room is empty. My heart is doing a wild dance in my chest, as I start towards the bathroom. I peek inside and when it’s clear I creep towards the shower. I shove the shower curtain aside with another shriek escaping my throat.

  I’m just about to relax a little when the thought hits again – he could’ve been in the bathroom as I passed by it, going to check on Jan’s room first! I’m such an idiot! I should’ve checked the bathroom first. I peek out the door and run across the hallway to my room. I slam the door closed and lock it. I run to the other side of my bed and drop down behind it, clutching the knife.

  I’m going to die of a nervous breakdown if that man doesn’t get to me first! Another minute creeps by excruciatingly slowly and then I give up and dial 911. I can’t stand it anymore.

  The operator is kind and he manages to calm me a little. I hide behind the bed until I hear a knock at the front door and a muffled, “Ma’am, it’s the police!”

  I hate leaving my safe spot as I crawl from behind the bed. I’ve forgotten about the knife and it gets stuck in the carpet, my hand slips over the blade and a sharp burn makes me suck in a harsh breath. “Ow!” I leave the knife on the floor and cradle my hand to my chest as I run for the front door. I quickly unlock it and yank it open. I’m so relieved to see the policeman that I can’t hold back the tears. I throw myself at him and start to sob hysterically.

  Strong arms catch me and hold me close. “Are you alone? Is there anyone with you?”

  I sputter through my tears, “I don’t know. He was just there. I didn’t even get a good look.” I pull back a little so the policeman can search the apartment for me. “I just ran.”

  Another policeman I didn’t see at first walks in and starts to go through the apartment, while the other one stands by me.

  “You’re bleeding!” The policeman takes hold of my arm and in a stunned daze I take in all the blood. “Did he attack you?”

  I shake my head lamely. “No, it was the knife.”

  “The knife attacked you?” I hear a sliver of confusion.

  I shake my head again. “No, I was hiding and I crawled and the knife got stuck and …” I stop when I realize that I’m babbling like an idiot.

  “It’s all clear,” the other policeman says. I look up at him and for the first time since seeing that man, I feel a little safe.

  “Is that bad?” The policeman that searched the apartment asks.

  I glance down at my hand and realize that I’m dripping blood all over Jan’s carpet. I run to the kitchen and quickly rinse my hand. I can finally see the cut, it’s not that bad. I grab one of the towels and wrap it around my hand to help stop the bleeding. “It’s just a little cut, nothing serious.” I turn back to the two policemen. “Thank you for coming out so quickly. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

  “Rather be safe than sorry,” the older one of the two says. “You take care now.”

  He leaves and the younger one smiles at me and says, “Be sure to lock the door and take care of that hand.”

  “I will, and thank you again.” As soon as he closes the door I run to lock it. I lean against it feeling all kinds of stupid for overreacting like that. I thought I dealt with it all! I saw on the news that Mr Brody was sentenced and I thought I’d gotten closure.

  I was so wrong.

  ~*~

  Chapter Thirty

  Seth~

  I have to park down the street from Aunt Janice’s café. It’s not that far and I enjoy the walk. My thoughts return to the woman in the apartment. I hope I didn’t scare her too badly. When I open the door to the café, the bell rings. I spot Aunt Janice behind the counter and I wait for her to finish helping the customer.

  A young blonde walks by me, carrying a tray. “Sit anywhere, we’ll be with you now.” She doesn’t wait for me to answer and scurries off to serve the customers. I weave my way between the tables and when Aunt Janice’s eyes land on me, I smile.

  She hands the customer his change and then smiles at me. “What a surprise! You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

  I step around the counter and give her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I wanted to surprise you. I wasn’t sure if you were working.” I give Aunt Janice a sheepish smile as I think about the woman I scared half to death. “I’m afraid I might have scared the woman in your apartment. I didn’t know you had someone living with you.”

  Aunt Janice’s eyes widen and then she grabs a cloth and starts to wipe the counter down. “Did she say anything?” she asks, looking a little nervous.

  “No, she screamed and ran into her room. All I saw where towels and a blue face.” Aunt Janice’s eyes flit over the customers and I wonder for a moment why she’s so nervous. “You’re not in fina
ncial trouble are you?”

  Her mouth drops open and for a moment she gapes at me. “Now why on earth would you think such a thing?”

  I shrug. “You look nervous and with the woman living with you, I thought maybe you were renting out a room for extra cash. You know you can come to me if you need anything, right?”

  She slaps my arm. “Don’t be silly. I’m fine. The girl just needed a place to stay.” She takes hold of my arm and walks me to a table. “So what brings you here on a Saturday morning? I thought you’d still be out with your friends celebrating your graduation.”

  I take a seat and wait until Aunt Janice is sitting across from me. “I missed you. Can’t a guy miss his favorite aunt?”

  She lets out a bark of laughter. “I’m your only aunt!” A customer approaches the counter. “Let me help her quickly and I’ll bring you some coffee and muffins. I baked them this morning.”

  I soak in the cozy feel of the café and relax back in my seat. I’ve never actually looked at this place. Aunt Janice has a nice little café. It has a homey feel to it.

  ~*~

  I’m back at the house but now that I’ve graduated I need to find a place of my own to stay. I don’t want to move away from Aunt Janice. I’m her only family and I’d like to be close incase she needs me. I search the newspaper and circle a few apartments that look like they have potential.

  I make a few appointments for the following day and then phone Marcus. I haven’t seen him in a while. He’s now helping his dad at the local accounting firm. Never thought he’d follow in his dad’s footsteps. Marcus’ phone goes to voicemail and I leave a quick message for him to call me back. As I disconnect the call to Marcus, my phone rings. Without looking at the screen and thinking it’s Marcus phoning me back, I answer, “Hey buddy, it’s been a while. How are you?”

  There’s a moment’s silence before a somber voice comes over the line. “Is this Seth Harper?”