by B. B. Hamel
She gives me a look that clearly means she doesn’t believe me. “Caleb is a good guy. You just don’t know him yet.”
“Yeah,” I say, backing off. “Maybe.” It’s not worth pushing. I don’t want to piss her off, and besides, I’m going out with them no matter what.
“Let’s fucking go!” Dylan yells. We climb into the car and Caleb grins at me.
“Told you,” he says.
I smile a little. “Yeah, I guess.”
We head out, car driving fast, out to Chucky’s.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t even like Caleb and Dylan. They’re still loud and still obnoxious, although Caleb isn’t as creepy tonight. We park at Chucky’s and head inside, grabbing a corner booth that magically is open and waiting for us. Caleb and Dylan order drinks and immediately Dylan start hitting on some random girl.
But Caleb apparently only has eyes for me. I can tell it bothers Jordan a little bit, and I suddenly realize that she’s into Caleb, which explains a lot. I’m polite and I answer his questions and chat with him, but I’m not really interested, and I hope that’s obvious.
I’m not sure it s, though, based on Caleb’s level of interest and the increasingly sour looks Jordan gives me.
“So, are you impressed?” Caleb asks me after maybe a half hour of listening to him talk about his new audio system.
“With what, your speakers?” I ask.
“No,” he says, grinning that weird smile. “I mean, the nurse.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess so. Thanks so much for that. I did really need a night out.”
“No problem. I don’t mind at all. Plus, you’re worth it.” He leans toward me a bit and I feel a chill run down my spine.
“Uh, I’ll be back in a second,” I say, standing.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“Need a drink.” I throw down the one I’m holding then hurry off to the bar.
Jordan instantly swoops in and starts talking to Caleb, but I feel his eyes on my already. I regret coming out with these guys and am not sure why I did it. I guess I didn’t really believe that he’d send a nurse like that, and when she showed up, I felt like I really had to go.
I get to the bar and take a much-needed break. I order a gin and tonic, and while I’m waiting for my drink, I scan the area around me.
As I’m looking at the people, I catch sight of two guys coming in through the side door. I have to do a double take, because it takes me a second to realize that it’s Lucas and his friend.
Shit. I panic and turn away, not sure if he noticed me yet. The last thing I want is for him to see me out with the Carters. I’m such a hypocrite and he’s going to see that. I don’t want him to think less of me. He just doesn’t know how hard it can be sometimes, with my father and everything.
My drink comes and I slam back half of it in one go. I stand there, not sure what the hell to do. I should probably just run the hell away, get out of here completely and hope that Lucas didn’t notice me. As I turn, I bump directly into Caleb.
“Whoa there,” he says. “Where you hurrying to?”
“Uh,” I say. “I don’t know. The table.” I glance around but don’t see Lucas anywhere.
“Who you lookin’ for?” he asks, taking my shoulders.
“Nobody,” I say quickly.
“Come on, come back to the table.”
I follow him reluctantly back, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I want to run away, but I don’t know what to do. If I leave right now, it’ll look really rude and Jordan will be even more upset with me. She’s like my only friend right now and I relay can’t afford to lose her. I don’t care if the Carters think I’m a jerk ,but I do care about Jordan.
We get back to the table and sit down. She launches into some conversation about a movie I haven’t seen but that Caleb seems somewhat into. I look around the bar again, nervous and starting to sweat a little bit.
“You okay?” Jordan asks me. “You look weird.”
“Fine,” I say, glancing toward the bar again.
I spot Lucas there, talking with his friend. For a second, I think I’m safe. He hasn’t looked back at me yet.
Until he turns and he looks.
We make eye contact. He looks right at me. He doesn’t look away for a couple seconds before casually turning back to his friend like he didn’t see a thing.
I sit there, devastated. I don’t know why, but I expected something more. I expected anger, or maybe disappointment, or something. Instead, I got absolutely nothing from him, and that hurts way more.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t play games like this, it’s just not the kind of person I am. I don’t normally want guys to care and get angry if I’m doing something, I just want everyone to be happy and to get along.
I feel like an idiot. I finish my drink and without another word, I stand up.
“Hey, what’s up?” Caleb asks. “You look weird.”
“I have to go,” I say. “Sorry.”
“What?” Jordan asks. “Caleb got you a nurse. And you’re being so rude.”
“I know. Thank you Caleb,” I say to him. I turn to Jordan. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“You shouldn’t go,” Caleb says, standing.
“Say bye to Dylan for me when he gets back,” I answer, and quickly walk away.
I can’t do this. I can’t let myself become someone I’m not. Lucas totally didn’t care that I was out with the Carters, and that’s okay. He doesn’t have to care. Maybe I misunderstood our relationship and thought there was something stronger between us than there actually is. Maybe I’m naïve and stupid, and I deserve to feel totally embarrassed right now.
Either way, I couldn’t stay there with Carter and let him keep trying to flirt with me when all I wanted was to get out. Jordan’s going to be pissed, but she’ll get over it soon enough.
I walk fast out of the bar, not looking back. I don’t let myself look back at Lucas, wondering if he’s watching me, if he cares. I’m an idiot and let myself get seduced by the Carters and their ability to buy everything. I hate that about myself.
At least I’m leaving. At least I have that.
I get to the door, push it open, and head off toward the bus stop, holding back tears, not letting myself be so pathetic that I cry alone on the street.
9
Lucas
My heart is hammering in my chest the second I see Mia out with those sick fucking Carters.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t say a word. I play it cool. I walk to the bar with Josh and we sit down, ordering drinks, though I keep stealing glances over at Mia.
“You okay, man?” Josh asks.
I quickly look back at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You just look a little tense, is all.”
“I’m good.”
Our drinks arrive and I cover myself by taking a big sip of my whisky. Josh starts talking about this girl he’s been seeing lately, a nice girl named Nicole. The only thing I hear from his whole speech is that she really likes rice balls, stuff called onigiri or something like that, I’m not really sure.
I can’t stop looking at Mia and wondering what the fuck is going on with her. After Caleb freaked her out, I thought she was done with those guys, but apparently I was wrong. I frown to myself, trying to puzzle it out.
She seemed genuinely upset when she called me. She was afraid of Caleb and seemed to think he might hurt her or something like that. She’s obviously aware of all the rumors about Caleb out there, and yet here she is. She has to know that she’s probably in danger if that asshole is interested in her.
I can’t figure it out. Maybe Mia just isn’t who I think she is. Maybe she’s not the girl I really want.
The thought just confuses me further. I’ve been with her, seen what she’s like. I know the kind of girl Mia is, and hanging out with Caleb and Dylan Carter feels like it’s pretty far outside of her character. Especially after he freaked her out so badly
.
As I watch her, I keep feeling like something is wrong here. I start thinking I should get up and go see her, but I can’t help but hold myself back. I know she saw me and she knows I’m here, but she’s not coming over to me.
As I’m watching her, she gets up and suddenly walks toward the front door. I can tell she looks a little upset, and suddenly I switch into protective mode, even if I don’t really want to.
I stand up fast. “Sorry man, got to go,” I say.
“What the hell?” Josh asks, confused.
“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” I grab two twenties from my wallet and throw them down on the bar. “Drinks on me.”
“Uh, okay, man,” he says, but I’m already walking away.
I have to go after her. I don’t know why, but my gut is screaming for me to follow her. I can’t let her walk away right now, not when things are so weird. I glance over and notice Caleb and Dylan are both looking me, but I don’t give a fuck. I just keep going, out the door and after Mia.
She’s hurrying down the sidewalk. She’s so fucking gorgeous, with an ass like a fucking angel. I hurry faster.
“Mia,” I say. “Wait up.”
She pauses and looks over her shoulder, frowning at me. “You shouldn’t have come with me.”
“What are you doing?” I ask her, stopping when I reach her. She keeps walking, but more slowly this time.
“I’m going home.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Lucas.”
“You’re out with the fucking Carter brothers.”
She nods once. “I know.”
“Why?” I ask, staring at her, surprised at how desperate I am for an answer.
“It’s complicated.” She looks away from me.
I stop and grab her hand. She turns toward me, a little surprised. “Try anyway.”
She pauses for a second but doesn’t try to pull away. In fact, her grip tightens on my hand.
“That girl back there, Jordan. She’s friends with the Carters. She’s my only friend right now, and I thought maybe the Carters aren’t that bad, but…” She trails off, shaking her head.
“But they’re exactly what you thought they were,” I say simply.
“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “I’m an idiot. I’m just… I’m sick of staying home. I want a life, you know? I don’t want to lose one of my last friends over these Carter guys, so I thought I’d try again.”
“I can understand that,” I say honestly. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but try and stay away from those guys.”
“I’m done with them,” she says sincerely. “Caleb is…” She trails off, her eyes a little wide, looking behind me. “Shit, Lucas. You should go.”
I turn and look over my shoulder, dread filling my gut. Caleb and Dylan are both walking toward me, followed by three other guys I don’t recognize. Three other big, mean-looking motherfuckers.
“Hey, you two,” Caleb calls out, a wicked smile on his face. “What’s going on?”
“Leave us alone,” Mia says. “Lucas is just walking me to the bus stop.”
Caleb and his little posse stops in front of us. He crosses his arms, giving me this shit-eating grin. “I can handle that,” he says. “Why don’t you fuck off, huh?”
I turn toward him and square up. I want to knock his pussy teeth in his goddamn skull but I’m outnumbered five to one. If it were three to one, or just the Carter brothers, I’d go for it. With my training and skills, I’m confident that I could easily take them. But even a SEAL has limitations, and five big, drunk, pissed off guys is probably about it.
“Leave Mia alone,” I say to him. “She left because she wanted to get away from you.”
“Is that true?” Caleb asks her.
“Don’t look at her,” I practically growl, stepping up to him. Maybe I have a death wish after all.
Caleb gets a wicked glint in his eye. “What are you going to do, fucking pussy?” he asks.
“You talk big with four guys at your back,” I say softly, forcing him to move closer. “But what are you gonna do if it’s just me and you?”
“I’ll fucking kill you,” he says, grinning wide.
He’s not expecting it when I smash my face into his nose. It makes a satisfying crunch, probably broken. He stumbles back, cursing, but I’m already moving.
Mia yells something but I can’t hear her. White-hot rage takes over my body as I slam my elbow into Dylan’s chin. He staggers and I turn to the next big guy, getting my hands up just in time to block a punch. I twist to the side and punch him in the jaw, staggering him. I follow up with another two punches, knocking him on his ass.
And then I’m blindsided by Dylan and the big guy. I’m knocked back and have to fight desperately just to keep my feet. I know that if I’m knocked down, I’m fucking finished, but they’re raining blows down on me.
I fight them back, knocking out one of the big guys. Caleb tries to get back in it but I catch him in the throat, forcing him to the ground. It’s satisfying until I get a boot to my knee and a fist to my chin.
I slam to the ground, and I know I’m fucked. They’re hurt pretty badly, but I’m about to get the shit stomped out of me, and probably I’ll get to spend a few nights in the hospital, assuming I survive it.
Mia is yelling, screaming practically, but they’re not stopping. I feel the first boot in my gut and I know I’m fucked.
“Back off, piece of shit,” someone yells loudly. “I’ll fucking blow your skulls off, cocksuckers.”
The guys back off like goddamn magic. The kicks stop and I manage to sit up, eyes wide open as Josh walks slowly toward them, a gun trained on Dylan Carter.
“Get your friends and go,” Josh says. “Right now. If you’re still here in five seconds, I’m shooting.”
They don’t need to be told twice. Dylan helps his brother up while the other guys help their friend and they head back down the street, nursing their wounds.
“This isn’t over, you fucking faggot,” Dylan Carter yells.
“What a cunt,” I say, grinning.
“Jesus, man,” Josh says, putting his gun away.
“You always carry?” I ask him.
“Hell, yeah.”
“Thanks.” He helps me to my feet and I look over at Mia.
She stares at me, horror on her face. She watches me for a second as I give her a little grin. Then she walks over to me and slaps me across the face.
That stings way worse than the boot to the stomach. I look at her, shocked.
“You asshole,” she says. “You stupid, stupid asshole. There were five of them! They were going to kill you!”
I grin at her. “They deserved it.” I can taste a little blood in my mouth.
“You idiot,” she says. “You’re a father, Lucas! You can’t get yourself killed just because of your stupid macho pride, you dumb asshole.” She’s fuming, but I can’t help but smile at her. She’s so goddamn beautiful, and she has no clue that I’d willingly take as many boots to the gut for her as I have to just to make her safe.
“Sorry,” I say to her.
She takes a deep breath and releases it. “You can’t do that,” she says.
“I know.” I step toward her, wincing from pain. I’m going to have some nice bruises in the morning. “I’m sorry.”
Josh backs off a little bit, realizing that we’re having a moment.
“You scared me to death,” she says, frowning.
“I know. It’s okay.” I take her hand and pull her toward me. “I won’t let those guys hurt you.”
“I’m not worried about me,” she says. “I’m worried about you.”
“Thanks, but Josh can take care of me.”
“No, he can’t,” Josh calls from down the street. I look over and grin at him.
“Thanks again, man,” I say.
“You owe me big time, fucker.” He opens the door to Chucky’s and heads back inside.
I turn back to Mia. “I won’t do that again.”
“You’re right. If you want me to keep talking to you, that is.”
I smirk at her. “Is that a threat?”
“Yes. You dumb asshole.” She touches my face, frowning. “That was harder than I thought it would be.”
“Well, I deserved it.”
“Yeah. You really did.”
I grin then kiss her softly on the lips. I wince a little bit.
“Are you okay?” she asks. “We should go to the hospital.”
“No, really. It’s fine. I’ve taken a worse beating.”
She sighs. “I can’t handle this, Lucas. Seriously. I can’t watch you get beat up again.”
“Oh, come on. I did a damn good job. Almost took them actually.”
She smiles a little bit. “Watching Caleb get punched…”
“I think I broke his nose.”
She laughs a little leaning against me. I wince again but ignore the pain. “His face was priceless.”
“His brother got it good, too.”
“And that other guy. Were you trying to kill them?”
“Nah. Just wanted to survive is all.”
“Next time, don’t do it at all.”
“Promise.” I kiss her one more time before we start walking again. This time, we take the bus together, and we ride it in comfortable silence, holding hands the whole way. I walk her back to her house, kiss her on the doorstep, and then start walking back home.
It’ll take me a good half hour to get home at least, probably more since I’m in some pain, but it’s worth it. Walking her home, kissing her, holding her hand, fucking hell. It makes me feel so alive, even more alive than I felt out on the battlefield. I never thought I’d feel this way in civilian life, but here I am, excitement coursing through my veins.
She’s right about one thing, though. I am a fucking father now. Five years ago, I could have taken a beating like that and walked away no problem. But now I can already tell I’ll be feeling this one for days, and the bruises will take longer to heal. I’m not a young man anymore unfortunately, and I can’t fight like one anymore. I can’t try and take on five guys alone.
If Josh hadn’t shown up with that gun, I don’t know what the fuck I would have done.