Jenny Q, Unravelled!
Page 15
then here’s how!
I’m lucky with my knitting projects cos Dixie supervises me and shows me how to do things. It’s great to have someone do that for you, but if you don’t, fear not, there are also books that explain everything knit-wise, like Purls of Wisdom by Jenny Lord (published by Penguin Books).
It’s always best to do a tension square first before you embark on a project, just to check your measurements. Some people have a looser tension than others and have to adjust a pattern accordingly. And the yarn you use will have details on the wrapper too, suggesting the size needles you should use to make a 10cm square.
None of that is TOO important for the patterns I am going to give you now, because they’re not for clothes and so don’t HAVE to be exact.
Jen’s Bath Mat
So, I ripped up my old duvet cover – the strips are 2cm wide and I used pairs of strips tied together to make a long yarn. I like that the knots stick out of the rug and Dixie says it’s good texture (which sounds v swish to me).
I used 8mm needles – these are quite big, and though I was slow knitting with them, the fact that they’re a big size meant I felt I had done loads even after only a few rows.
Cast on 26 stitches. Knit every row (this makes a nice ridged finish) for about 100 rows. Cast off and, hey presto, you have a lovely BATH MAT.
It is not a very big mat (though it is heavy when you get near the end), but it is v v lush, I think (all depending on what you have recycled to make it, I guess).
Harry’s Blankie
I used a slightly chunky yarn with 6mm needles. You can have all kinds of colours going on in this piece. Basically, you want a whole load of squares, and I found that 14 stitches and 18 rows made 10cm squares.
I knitted some of them all knit rows, so they turned out ridged like the bath mat (Dixie tells me this is called garter stitch). Others I did 1 row knit, 1 row purl (which is stocking stitch), and then you can either show the back or the front of the square for that texture Dixie is so fond of. And the last combo of stitches I did was this:
With an even number of stitches,
Row 1 = knit 1, purl 1.
Row 2 = purl 1, knit 1.
This makes ‘moss stitch’, according to Dixie, and it looks great.
I made 20 squares. When I had finished them, I laid them out on the floor and moved them around until I was happy with how they all went with one another, and then I sewed them up. If you find you haven’t got a big enough blanket, you can just add more squares till you’re happy with the size. When you’re sewing wool/yarn use a special, blunt wool needle so you don’t split the yarn.
Love Hearts
The size of these will vary depending on your needle sizes and yarns, so it’s a bit of an adventure. Make 2 of the following for each heart:
Cast on 4 stitches.
Knit 1 row.
Next row, knit 1, then knit into the front AND back of the next stitch so you have made a stitch. Knit as normal until the second last stitch. Knit into the front and back of next stitch to make another stitch, knit 1 = 6 stitches.
Knit 1 row.
Knit 1, knit into front and back of next stitch, knit till second last stitch, knit into front and back of next stitch to make a new stitch, knit 1 = 8 stitches.
Continue like this until you have 20 stitches.
Knit 8 rows straight.
Then start to decrease your stitches by knitting the first two and the last two of each row together till you have 14 stitches.
Cast off.
To make up, put both ‘hearts’ together with stuffing in the middle (use old rags or bits of yarn), then topstitch the edges all round to seal the heart. When that is done, sew the middle of the top of the heart in a tight little loop so that it makes an indentation and therefore the shape of the top of a heart. This is also handy for slipping a ribbon through if you would like to hang your heart on something.
Acknowledgements
Big thanks go to all who have aided and abetted Jenny’s latest adventure in life, especially those whose names I have used again and from whom I may have borrowed phrases. At Puffin, Shannon Cullen, Anthea Townsend and Wendy Shakespeare have been brill, also Daphne Tagg for her copy-editing and Sarah Chadwick-Holmes for the design. My agent Faith O’Grady and my husband Richard Cook have been endlessly supportive throughout the process, and Alice and Brenda (my cats) tried to help me by lying all over my laptop and printouts while I was writing.
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DUDE!
* The colour of my school uniform and therefore not a GREAT colour.
† That’s Jenny with a y not Jenny with an i = v v important detail.
‡ They play guitars and there are ten of them = says it all as to how and why, really …
б He’s clearly v advanced for such a small chap.
TRASH
* Oh, hang on, maybe she said I might be-a-witch – can’t remember.
† It’s a strawberry blonde, NOT ginger, and can have a mind of its own if I take my attention off it for even a nanosecond.
‡ It’s totes hip and cool to call the group the Guitars rather than Ten Guitars which is, like, way formal and for outsiders.
б My name sounds so lovely when he says it!
§ I am not fit to be left in charge, either. I am rubbish, not Harry.
EEK!
* If there’s a newspaper story even part-printed on his lil bod, then it can be identified and dated and I can be banged up for a crime I so DID commit = v ungood …
† I am even more enthralled with him now – a man of moral fibre, dependableness* and loyalty. * Yes, I made that word up.
‡ It’s mortifying to think it might be apparent … even to a granny …
’TIS THE SEASON
* Everyone agrees that he’s a delinquent.
† I like coffee itself, but chocs with coffee-flavoured centres are gack.
‡ Natch.
б It comes with the whole adult/grown-up territory, I think.
SEEING RED
* One of her fave pastimes and v vexing for me.
† OK, OK, sometimes even I am part of the ‘let’s see what’s behind that tightly closed door’ brigade, but it’s genetic: I am BRED to do it and therefore I say it’s not my fault … well, not much my fault anyhow …
‡ Does anyone else think that some things sound better in le français? To introduce a certain je ne sais quoi?
б The lonely-hearts section in our local schools’ rag started a year or so ago. If I remember rightly, the Gang were all in agreement that it was the saddest of sad sections and we would never be caught dead even glancing at the page …
IT’S COMPLICATED
* Most of the time it is fair to say Dixie does have a good sense of humour, but sometimes she can be plain bonkers …
† I know this instinctually, or as Gran would say, ‘I feel it in me waters,’ and ugh I so wish she wouldn’t!
‡ Oakdale High doesn’t even allow us to eat smelly crisps on the school grounds any more, let alone have mad hairdos or piercings.
б Subtle is not in her DNA, not even a little, not a jot.
FORE!
* A mahoosive eejit.
† ‘Miscellaneous’ is a great word: like ‘random’ and ‘et cetera’, it covers a lot of ground, which I v love.
‡ AKA Gran.
б As in so totally not smooth or cool!
§ And a lot of people actually are!
MUM’S THE WORD
* Note to self: must keep an eye on this and make sure to talk to Dad if things don’t improve.
† Well, any convo I seem to have.
‡ Look it up, you’ll thank me for it!
б You see? It sounds much better spoken in le français…
§ Partic if it’s accompanied by chips = NOM!
** Adults are weirdoids = FACT.
MAD MEN
* Gran likes to call it the ‘lounge’ and I suspect she thinks that makes it sound classier than it actually is – it’s just where we watch the telly.
† Delighted as I am to be able to use this word, I am dreading what it means in real life, as in, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
‡ V v ultra-mega-uber-ginormously pants of an idea. And the conclusion I came to was that my singing talents are not meant for the stage. And I am MUCH happier that way!
б I do and it means favourable or (kind of) a good omen.
PLANS
* Or the Precinct, as Uggs loves to call it, grinning all the way, because of the non-cool nature of our Oakdale precinct.
† I think it does, by the way.
‡ Dunno – but doubt it … that would be a monumental waste of energy, surely, and make the fridge a mad machine and exhausted.
BEGIN AGAIN
* Hmm, is there something I should be doing about this? Or would that make it worse?
† It’s the noogack of colours.
‡ Hey, don’t judge me, I’m only human.
MAKING DO
* I thank you!
† Or Gypsy, who is an uninvited attendee and trying her best to sneak on to my bed* and get all comfy for a snooze.
* I have expressly forbidden this but she pays no heed.
‡ Or even wrong.
DARK ARTS
* He seems to have acquired some ’tude during the festive break.
† Even if it is just our local schools’ newspaper pretending to be a real newspaper.
‡ This may or may not be a word, I’ll check later. Right now life is tense in the Jenny Q HQ.
TELLY TUBBY
* Then he’d guess straight away that it was me.
† The Slinkies only just about get away with looking human in the Oakdale High garb, and they’re urban goddesses.
DA BLUES
* Again, I have to ask, is any colour more rancid? Answer: I think not.
BUDGET
* Which is a serious-sounding word for major money-saving.
† Vampires and teenagers seem to go hand in hand these days, especially in novels or the movies.
‡ Yup, he had to go there.
б Wotevah about anyone else calling him by his full name while angry, when Dixie does it he is in BIG doodah shizz and we all know it – smelly shizz stuff that sticks in the grooves of your trainer soles and follows you around sort of doodah …
§ Hockey does, and involves sticks = WEAPONS and I therefore avoid it at all costs.
** Me!
PEN PALS
* In which Dix is now on the love-hunt.
† If not less …
‡ Again, I stress that Gypsy does not count.
б She is surely only three breaths away from calling him Gaz … tragic!
SUPER SATURDAY
* Which is, actually, not a laughing matter but something I cannot address today, on the first live show of TFX. EEP!
† Yes, that is his name, but OMG she should Not. Go. There.
‡ Eeek! I have just realized that in our new straitened circumstances I’ll have to stump up the dosh for hair stuff, stuff I think is essential but which other mortals may think is folderol – not good …
б Funky cute but not kiddy cute.
§ Gúna is the Irish word for ‘dress’ and is pronounced ‘goona’ – sounds great, doesn’t it!
** And it’s v v penetrating as a sound too …
SAVAGE SATURDAY
* The weather is fierce still.
† I know sarcasm is supposed to be the lowest form of wit, but sometimes it works and, besides, there’s a lot of it at Oakdale, courtesy of the many jaded teachers we have.
‡ Maybe??
б V like the ones the Queen of England uses, though she has a range with different trims to match different outfits and I just have pink.
§ WHAT a word!!
SINKING SATURDAY
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* MEGA-ULTRA PHEW!
† Extreme, I know, but things are v bad indeed.
‡ All due respect to all country cousins there (especially mine), just employing a lazy phrase, I guess – must look up where it came from to cover my sorry butt.