The Secrets We Carry

by Jessica Sorensen

  I wonder what it takes for someone to become a mere acquaintance; the girl I run into occasionally to a girl I actually care about. Because, right now, as Wynter cries against me, I no longer feel as if she’s just some girl, but a girl I care about. Enough that I’m breaking Doug’s orders .

  Fuck, I’m so screwed .

  Sucking in a shaky breath, I steer her to my car then help her onto the passenger seat. Reluctantly—on both our parts—we let each other go. Then I round the car and slide into the driver’s seat while Reece scoots into the back .

  As soon as we close the doors, the cab grows quiet. Even Wynter has gone silent, her eyes drying .

  “Do you want me to take you any place specific?” I ask cautiously. “I could take you home and stay there with you a while if you want me to .”

  She shakes her head, her eyes widening. “I can’t go home .”

  I cast a quick glance at Reece, who looks as worried as I do. “ Why not ?”

  She shrugs, staring out the window, her body trembling. “I don’t feel safe there .”

  I don’t feel safe there .

  She doesn’t feel safe there .

  The words replay in my head, and I part my lips to ask her what she’s afraid of, when my phone unexpectedly vibrates from inside my pocket .

  Fishing it out, I tense as I note the message is from Doug .

  Doug: We received an anonymous tip that Wynter Porterrsen may have been assaulted by Travis Marilellie or someone connected to him. We don’t have proof yet, nor do we know who made the tip or where they obtained this information. We’re looking into it. I want you to keep your ears and eyes open when you’re at the party on Friday. In the meantime, I also want you to keep an eye on Wynter Porterrsen. If this is true, it could help us build our case against Travis, at least enough to bring him in and question him .

  My heart rate quickens. It takes all my willpower not to reach over and pull Wynter into my arms .

  The idea that Wynter could’ve been hurt by Travis … it would explain a lot. And I have no problem keeping an eye on Wynter, but I’m also worried. Worried she could be in trouble. Worried her hurt might be eating away at her .

  Worried that Doug might drag her further into this mess. That’s the last thing I want .

  Not only would it be mentally exhausting on her, but also very dangerous .

  Twelve

  Wynter

  T hat text shattered something inside me, but I don’t think it broke me. In fact, I was fuming with toxic rage by the time I made it out to my car. Of course, when the engine wouldn’t turn over, I veered toward losing my shit. Then Reece and Everette came over to check on me and I broke down. Collapsed. Cried in front of them .

  They were both kind, despite the fact that they had to deal with a sobbing girl. Everette in particular was sweet. It was nice. It really was. To be able to cry in front of someone. And I love that he helped me to his car and is giving me a ride to … well, I’m not sure, since I said I was too afraid to go home. My guess is his place .

  Afraid .

  Afraid .

  Afraid .

  I’m so sick of being afraid. And I don’t want to have to be around a guy—or anyone for that matter—just to feel safe. I want to be able to take care of myself. Live in a world where this shit with Travis and his friends can’t happen .

  That also doesn’t necessarily mean I want to do this alone .

  After blinking the tears away, I turn toward Everette. “Actually, do you mind dropping me off somewhere ?”

  He gives me a concerned sidelong glance. “I’m not sure if you should be alone right now .”

  His statement is a bit odd. Sure, I just cried in front of him, but he has no idea why, nor does he know me well enough to be so concerned. Perhaps he thinks I want him to drop me off at my place after just admitting I don’t feel safe there. Which I don’t. Not after receiving that message .

  Afraid .

  Afraid .

  Afraid .

  “I won’t be alone. I’ll be with a friend.” I retrieve my phone from my pocket, my finger hovering over her contact, the girl from the list that I recognize .

  How do I even begin with this? With telling her what I went through then asking if anything similar happened to her ?

  “I can drop you off at your friends,” Everette responds hesitantly. “But I just want you to know that you’re more than welcome to hang at my place if you need somewhere to stay where you feel safe .”

  I force a smile as I meet his gaze. “I appreciate the offer—I really do—but I’d really just like to go to my friend’s for now. I need to talk to her about something anyway .”

  He nods with reluctance then turns the car around after I give him my friend’s address .

  As we drive to her place in silence, I send her a text, asking if I can come over. She instantly replies, telling me absolutely with an exclamation point at the end. I wonder if her happiness is fake, or maybe I’m wrong about the meaning of the list. Still, the names play on repeat in my head, each one engraved in my mind .

  Isabella Anders

  Ashlynn Wynterland

  Clarissa Kensington

  Annabella Baker

  Kinslee Hartertonlend

  Lily Monreofend

  Ireland Harliforson

  And then the girl whose house I’m going to. Her name is etched into my broken soul .

  God, please let me be wrong about this. Please say she hasn’t gone through what I did .

  By the time Everette stops the car, I’m all sorts of worked up, my body shivering as if I’m cold .

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Everette asks as he shoves the shifter into park and glances at the two- story home .

  I nod, unfastening my seatbelt. “I’ll be safe here, I promise.” I reach for the door handle, willing my voice to come out evenly. “And sorry about all the crying.” I glance back and forth between Reece and Everette. “I feel really silly now .”

  “You don’t need to feel silly,” Reece promises me with a kind smile. “But can you do one thing for me .”

  Even though I barely know him, I find myself nodding . “Sure .”

  He slants forward. “Make sure to sign up for those self-defense classes .”

  I nod, more than happy to do so. I grab my bag and start to get out when Everette places a gentle hand on my arm, not really grabbing me, but trying to get my attention—I think he caught on to my repulsion of being grabbed. I like him a tiny bit more for making sure not to grab me anymore. Although, he let me grab the shit out of him as I sobbed into his shirt .

  Poor guy .

  I’d probably feel more stupid if he hadn’t admitted to me that he once had a breakdown .

  I may have despised him when I first ran into him, but I think my initial assessment stemmed from my general irritation toward guys in general. Not Everette in particular .

  I need to try to be nicer to him .

  “Can I give you my number?” Everette asks as I meet his gaze. His lips quirk. “I swear I’m not hitting on you right now. I just want you to have it in case you need anything .”

  I nod shakily. “All right.” I type his number into my phone as he prattles off the digits. Then I do something I haven’t done since that night. I send him a text so he’ll have my number, as well .

  He smiles when my message pings through. “Thanks .”

  I’m not sure why he’s thanking me, but I offer him the smallest of smiles then hop out of the car .

  I briefly hesitate before forcing myself to move forward—toward her house. My legs are wobbly by the time I reach her front porch, and my hand trembles as I knock .

  Moments later, Willow opens the door with a cheery smile on her face. Her hair is twisted into a messy bun and she’s dressed in her usual, laid-back style, wearing jeans and a plaid shirt over a black shirt .

  “I’m so glad you’re here. It feels like forever since we’ve hung out .”

  I wish I cou
ld let her keep smiling. I wish I could procrastinate this for a bit. But, as I’ve learned, procrastination can turn into a two-month long silence .

  “I have to ask you something,” I say nervously. “It’s about … why your name’s on a no-entry list at The Silver Glass Box .”

  Just like that, her smile fizzles, her eyes flickering with rage .

  She swallows hard. “How do you know about that ?”

  “I went there last night, and they wouldn’t let me in. The bouncer showed me a list, and your name was on it.” It’s the most truthful I’ve been in months .

  “Your name’s on it, too?” she asks, and I nod. An unsteady breath puffs from her lips as she peers around then motions me inside. “Come in, and I’ll tell you what happened. But I want to hear why you’re on the list , too .”

  My stomach ravels with knots. Vomit burns at my throat. But I suck it back this time and step inside, planning to tell her everything .

  Planning to tell the truth .

  I just hope that we can figure out a way to stop this from happening again. To stop Travis and his friends from having so much power .

  Revenge .

  Revenge .

  Revenge .

  To maybe get revenge for us all .

  Thirteen

  Everette

  “S o, are we sitting out here because you want to or because your boss told you to?” Reece asks as he stuffs a handful of fries into his mouth .

  After we dropped Wynter off, I left to go drop Reece off. As we were picking up some fast-food, I texted Doug to tell him what happened to Wynter. In return, he ordered me to keep an eye on her for the next couple hours. Not sure why, but I have no problem doing so .

  Apparently, Reece doesn’t either, since he asked if he could tag along .

  “You know I can’t give you details on the case,” I tell him as I observe the house Wynter is currently at .

  I did a search on the address and found out Beck owns it. That brought a bit of relief to me; that Wynter really is with friends. I just wish I understood why she was crying so hard. What made her breakdown before I dropped her off ?

  Reece eyeballs me as he unwraps his burger. “The case has to do with Wynter ?”

  “You know I can’t tell you that, either .”

  “You do realize I’ve been in the car for the last hour, so I’ve already figured that myself .”

  “Then, why ask ?”

  He shrugs. “Just curious if you’d tell me .”

  I sigh. “I wish I could, but you’re not even supposed to know what I do .”

  “I know.” He takes a bite of his burger as he stares at the house. “Do you know why she was crying? Wynter, I mean ?”

  I shake my head. “I honestly don’t. I wish I did, though .”

  My phone buzzes from inside my pocket. I fish it out to read the message .

  Doug: In about an hour, I’m going to arrest Wynter Porterrsen for drug possession. I want the arrest to be discreet .

  Drug possession? What the hell ?

  I mean, I already suspected she was doing drugs, but how did Doug find out about that? And why is he putting so much attention on Wynter ?

  Me: Why does it need to be discreet ?

  Doug: Because we’d like to discuss her being an informant for us .

  Me: You can’t be serious? That girl hates Travis, and from what I understand, he’s not a fan of her, either .

  Doug: Not to get information on Travis. To get information on her father. From the intel we’ve collected on Wynter, she may be a good asset to this case .

  Me: I wasn’t even aware her father was part of this case .

  Doug: This case is much bigger than Travis and his friends. You should know that, Everette .

  I sigh loudly. I want to tell him no, that it’s too dangerous. That I don’t want Wynter involved in her father’s business. I want to warn Wynter of what’s about to happen. But doing so would put me at risk for getting fired .

  That doesn’t mean I can’t be there to hopefully ease some of the fear and worry I know she’s going to have when they bring her in .

  Me: Can I be there when you talk to her ?

  Doug: Yes. In fact, if she agrees, I’ll probably assign you to keep an eye on her .

  My fingers fold into a fist as I think about what will happen if Wynter doesn’t agree. Doug will make sure she’s locked up for quite a while where she can’t tell anyone about the case .

  Me: All right. Let me know when to come in .

  Doug: Until then, keep an eye on her. I don’t want to risk her deciding to take a trip somewhere or anything like that .

  Me : Okay .

  My eyes drift back to Beck’s house and my chest constricts. Wynter was so torn up when she went inside that house. Even before that, she seemed so broken, so haunted, so unstable. What’s about to happen could shatter her even more .

  No, I won’t let that happen .

  I won’t let another person shatter ever again .

  Fourteen

  Wynter

  T he first detail I notice when I step foot into Wynter’s and Beck’s place is the living room is lacking furniture. Two of the sofa’s are missing, the end table is gone, and the walls are extremely bare .

  “Where did all your stuff go?” I ask Willow as I peer around the room .

  She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Beck… moved out .”

  “What ? When? And why didn’t you tell me ?”

  With a heavy sigh, she sinks onto the sofa. “A few months ago. And I didn’t tell you because it’s been pretty clear you’re dealing with your own shit.” She lowers her head into her hands and sucks in a shaky inhale .

  I take a seat in the chair across from her, bouncing my knee up and down. “I’m going to kick Beck’s ass .”

  When she lifts her gaze, her eyes are watery. “Why? It’s not his fault we broke up .”

  “So you broke up with him?” Sadly, I’m not that surprised .

  Before Beck and Willow got together, Beck was in love with Willow for years, but she had these no-dating rules, and it took the two of them forever to get together .

  “Yeah, sort of.” She picks at her fingernails. “He doesn’t know .”

  “ About what ?”

  “About my name being on that list .”

  “Is the reason… Is that why you broke up with him ?”

  Pressing her lips together, she shrugs. “There was just so much shit going on, and I felt awful and sad all the time. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what happened, and our relationship started to crumble. Eventually, we both agreed it’d be better if we didn’t live together. Since this is Beck’s house, I wanted to be the one that moved out, but you know how chivalrous Beck is, and before I could even start packing up my stuff, he moved half the furniture into the apartment above the garage and told me he was staying there. I tried to argue with him, but he said he wasn’t moving back in, so if I left, the house would end up being empty.” She shakes her head, mumbling, “He’s so stubborn sometimes .”

  “Yeah, he is,” I agree. “I still can’t believe you guys aren’t together. Does anyone else know about it ?”

  “I think Beck may have told Grey, which means he probably told Luna. But other than that, no one does .”

  “But you guys still act like you’re together .”

  “Beck pretends. I just avoid the subject altogether .”

  I wish I could replay through the last couple of months and figure out how I missed this, but the sad truth is I’ve been too caught up in my own issues to notice what’s been going on in my friends’ lives .

  Not anymore .

  “I’m sorry you guys broke up.” I have a feeling one day they’ll be back together, though. At least if I have anything to do with it, they will. “Can I ask… Do you…” My initial instinct is to ask her why her name was on that list. But if I want to ask questions, I may have to start with my own story first. “You want to know why my nam
e was on that list ?”

  She nods. “Yes. It’s been driving me crazy since you said it .”

  “Okay.” Air in. Air out. “I should warn you before I do that if I tell you the reason, it could drag you into a crazy mess. And it could be dangerous… The guys that I think put my name on that list… They’ve threatened to hurt me and the people I care about if I tell anyone about what happened to me .”

  Willow closes her eyes and sucks in a breath. “I’m not too worried about that. My life is a mess already .”

  My veins pulsate with fear .

  “Keep your lips sealed .”

  “Don’t utter a word .”

  Shut the fuck up !

  “You remember when I went out on a date with Travis Marilellie a couple of months ago?” I ask and Willow opens her eyes and nods. “Well, that date turned into an absolute nightmare.” The truth pours out of me and my heart rate quickens .

  “Don’t utter a word .”

  Shut up !

  “I’m not even sure exactly what happened to me… At least not all the details…” A tear drips from my eye and I quickly swipe it away. “I think I was drugged and that’s why I can’t remember… But I do remember enough… To know I was…” Another breath. Another. Steady yourself, Wynter. You can do this. “I was raped several times. I can’t remember all of their faces… But I can hear their voices—that part is crystal clear.” A few more tears drip down my cheeks, but I don’t bother wiping them away. “The guys who hurt me—they said it was to send my dad a message, but I think there’s more to it than that .”

  “You’re dad ?” Willow’s head tilts to the side . “ What ?”

  I lift a shoulder. “My dad does dealings with a lot of sketchy men. Travis father is one of them, but there’s a ton more.” I shrug again. “I’m sorry I’ve never said anything about this, but honestly, I’m pretty ashamed .

  “You don’t need to be ashamed.” Her brows pinch together. “When you say dealings, though, what exactly do you mean? Because I always thought your dad owned a bunch of businesses around town .”