by Kit Tunstall
She was working herself into quite a state, so she forced her eyes open as she took several deep breaths. Rather than look at Hale or the surgery, she focused on the monitor someone had hooked up to his heart, which checked his pulse and blood pressure continuously. They were holding steady, which was a good sign, and he seemed to be doing just fine.
It somewhat eased her anxiety, though she was still fearful. It was crazy how much the idea of losing him devastated her. They barely knew each other, and the circumstances under which they had met would likely taint any relationship possibility anyway. He claimed she was his mate, but he was also drugged out of his mind. It was difficult to put any faith in his words under those circumstances.
It surprised her how much she wanted to though. The idea of being his mate sent a shiver of pleasure through her, along with a dart of longing. She found herself hoping not only that he made it through surgery and recovered completely, but that his mind hadn’t been so numbed from the drugs Stone gave him that he had imagined the connection between them. She wanted to be his mate.
***
She must have fallen asleep in the corner, but she woke on a surprisingly comfortable air mattress. She yawned and stretched, opening her eyes as gaps in the blinds allowed sunlight to filter in. At first, she thought that was what had woken her, but quickly realized it was a moan from Hale instead.
Alarmed, she sat up on the air mattress and looked around quickly, ascertaining they were in a patient recovery room, and someone had thoughtfully moved her from the operating room into Hale’s room, placing her on the mattress so she could sleep.
He must have been sleeping too, but he was restless and thrashing. She walked over to him, automatically touching his forehead before glancing at the monitor. His blood pressure was steady, but his pulse rate had skyrocketed. He thrashed and moaned again, calling out, “No, I won’t do it.”
The hand on his forehead she had placed there to check for a fever that wasn’t present started stroking his hair instead. She leaned closer, keeping her voice gentle. “It’s okay. You’re just having a nightmare. All that’s behind you now, Hale, and you’re safe on Bear Island.”
He didn’t fully wake up, but he did stop twitching and thrashing, and his sleep appeared less disturbed within a few minutes.
She kept stroking his hair until her hand grew tired, certain he wasn’t aware of it on a conscious level, but perhaps he could feel the soothing caress subconsciously. Even if it did nothing for him, it was soothing her. When she could no longer stroke his hair, she held his hand in hers.
She looked up when the door opened, and Dr. Buroh stepped inside. “How is he, doctor?”
The doctor winked at her. “I haven’t had a chance to examine him yet, but let’s find out. He was doing well last night, and every time I checked on him, his vitals were steady. I think he’ll be just fine, but let me take a look at him before I confirm that.”
She stood out of the way, though it sent a physical pain through her to have to release the hand she’d held. The doctor was thorough, but fast, as he checked Hale’s vital signs, took his temperature, and peeked at the wound on his stomach. That was where the bullet had lodged, she inferred, from the thick bandages there. The doctor must have had to go in from the abdomen to retrieve the bullet.
He stepped back with a nod, looking satisfied. “I think he just needs some rest. He’s recovering more like a typical human versus an Ursa sapiens, so I’m not entirely sure how long it will be before he’s up on his feet. Once he’s more awake, we’ll try to get him to shift.”
“The scientist on that island has been using some kind of inhibitor and stimulator to force the shifters to change into their bear forms and back again after fighting. He’s ramped up their aggression levels so that they have a difficult time not fighting each other, and his last experiment involved tampering with Hale’s hormones and pheromones. I hope he hasn’t physiologically damaged Hale so that he can’t shift to heal.”
“You don’t think he can shift anymore?” The doctor looked concerned and saddened at the possibility.
She quickly shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I mean. He shifted so we could escape, and then he shifted back to his human form to get into the boat. I’ve seen him shift, but it didn’t help him heal. I really don’t know when he was shot though. Maybe it was after we were already in the boat. Everything’s a bit of a blur, to be honest, and I can’t seem to focus on it. I guess I’m just concerned that whatever Stone did to his DNA has left permanent damage.”
The doctor nodded, clearly understanding now. “I’m no geneticist, but I’m sure we have a few in our network, since we have to carefully hide the differences between Ursa sapiens and Homo sapiens. There’s usually a shifter in every lab around the country, particularly in areas where there’s a high concentration of shifters, like Seattle and the surrounding areas.”
She nodded. “That makes perfect sense, but the system fell apart somewhere. Stone told me he found out about bear-shifters by running lab results in a hospital where he used to work.”
The doctor sighed. “We can’t always control the flow of information. All shifters know to look for another shifter for their medical care, but it could be the person whose blood tipped off Stone had been brought in unconscious or on the edge of death. If that was the case, they would have run routine blood tests, and no shifter would have known to be the one to intercept them.”
His theory made sense, but she supposed they’d never know unless Stone volunteered the information. With any luck, she’d never see his creepy little eyes again. If she did, she was going to ram her knee into his private parts and enjoy the sounds of him howling in pain. He deserved that and more for everything he’d done to the shifters at his mercy, and for what he’d wanted to do to her.
“Let him rest for a while, and then you can see him again when he wakes up.”
“I’d rather stay with him, and I don’t have anywhere to go anyway.” At least not on Bear Island. She had a nice little apartment off-campus, courtesy of her parents, but she wasn’t returning to Seattle until Hale awakened, and she learned about his state of health. Part of her hoped she’d never have to leave him anyway, though she wasn’t certain about settling on this tiny, quiet island.
The doctor’s shaggy brows drew together to form a V. “You should just stay at his place. He’s your mate, right?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “That’s what he said, but he was also drugged out of his mind.”
The doctor chuckled. “The mating instinct is incredibly powerful. I don’t think there’s a drug in existence that could completely dull the sense. If he claimed you as his mate, you’re his.”
She frowned. “How does he claim me as his mate?” Her cheeks filled with color as she asked the doctor the question, assuming it involved sex, but not sure if that was the only element.
“Has he bitten you at any point during intimate relations?”
She started to shake her head, and then recalled abruptly the way his teeth had buried into her shoulder during that moment in the fighting ring, when they were both climaxing. She nodded slowly. “But just once.”
The doctor grinned. “That’s as good as a marriage ceremony in our culture. Feel free to use his cabin. What’s his is yours and vice versa.”
She was in a bit of a stupor, stunned by the doctor’s revelation, but not so out of it that she couldn’t follow his directions to find Hale’s cabin.
The door was unlocked when she reached it, and she stepped inside, wrinkling her nose at the musty smell. She flipped on the light switch, and a warm glow filled the room. He must have favored the kind of light bulbs that resembled daylight.
There was a layer of dust on everything, and the cabin looked like it had been abandoned. There was a sad, forlorn air about the lot, and for a moment, she was tempted to step back onto the porch and ask to stay somewhere else. Anywhere else, for that matter. Instead, she squared her shoulders and forced herself to
concentrate on bringing it back to a livable state. Everything seemed well cared for and cozy, and she imagined it would be a comfortable place to live after it was cleaned and restored.
Cleaning also gave her something on which to focus besides her concern for Hale and remembering their brief, rough, but satisfying, breeding session in the fighting ring. She hesitated to call it anything but that, because there hadn’t been an emotional connection between them at the time. He had been too drugged, and she had been too frightened to even think about emotions.
It had been primal and carnal, but it wasn’t the way she would have chosen to seal a marriage. If they were really married now, she wanted a do-over for the mating night. Or would that be the mating-moon instead of a honeymoon? She had no idea, and she amused herself with speculating and inventing names for it as she finished cleaning the cabin.
Two hours and a shower later, the place sparkled and looked much better. The unwelcoming air had given way to something that was cozy and inviting. The wood in the rack still seemed good, so she’d been able to build a small fire. It probably wasn’t quite cool enough to really need it, but it was cheerful, and the crackling of the logs in the fire provided welcome background noise.
Since she didn’t have any clothing, she’d appropriated Hale’s robe while she washed her clothes in the small apartment-size washer and dryer tucked away into a tiny storage area behind folding doors. The cabin wasn’t large or lavish, but it was functional and quaint. It was growing on her rapidly.
She jumped when there was a knock at the door, ensuring the robe was tightened around her, the knot secure, before she moved forward to open the wooden door.
Kade stood on the other side with a bag in one hand. “My mate has some clothes for you. She’s not sure if they’ll fit, but I think you’re both about the same size.”
She smiled her pleasure as she reached for the bag. “Please tell your mate… What’s her name?”
“Shayla,” said Kade.
“Please tell Shayla thank you for me. I’m sure I can find something that works.”
He nodded his head. “You might want to hurry, because Hale is waking up, and I figured you’d want to be there with him when he’s fully aware.”
She nodded eagerly as she took the bag and ran down the hallway to the sole bedroom in a small cabin. She pushed open the rough timber door and stepped inside, closing it behind her before dumping the bag on the bed.
Shayla had provided two pairs of pants and three shirts. The biggest surprise were two pairs of underwear with the tags still attached. They were completely sexy and revealing, and not at all practical. She assumed the other woman hadn’t gotten around to wearing them for her husband yet.
While she would have preferred a pair of cotton briefs, she certainly wasn’t going to get snippety because someone had given her the wrong kind of new underwear. Instead, she pulled the tag off the plainer pair, though that was a subjective comparison. They were both lacey, frothy concoctions meant to seduce rather than cover.
There weren’t any bras, so she would have to let the girls fly free. She couldn’t stand the thought of putting on the bra she had worn for the past few days, having washed it every night in the maid’s bathroom in the room she’d been using at Calderon’s estate. It was still in the washer anyway, and she wasn’t going to wear a wet bra.
When she was dressed, she quickly returns to Kade, who stood in virtually the same pose she had left him, his gaze quiet and watchful. He appeared to have a lot of patience, which was a virtue she admired, though never fully understood.
They walked together to Dr. Boroh’s cabin, and her stomach fluttered with nerves as she stepped through the doorway, followed by Kade. She knew where she was going, so she headed toward the room where she had left Hale earlier. When she reached it, she stepped over the threshold with a deep breath, bracing herself for anything.
He looked much better than she’d expected, and she blinked in surprised. “What did you do to him?” She directed the question at the doctor, who sat in a recliner near the bed, scrawling notes on the big yellow legal pad.
The doctor looked up and grinned at her. “I had him transform a couple of times. It speeds up the healing process, but his body isn’t working the way it was designed to. He’ll probably need a couple of days to heal completely, and I hope once all the drugs are cleared out of his system, he’ll be as efficient at healing as he used to be.”
She nodded to indicate she’d heard his words, but her gaze didn’t deviate from Hale’s. She gave him a soft smile as she moved closer to the bed. “How do you feel?”
He shrugged. “I’ll live.” His words were more of a terse dismissal than a response, and he looked around her to see Kade. “You should arrange for Ms. Cole to get back to Seattle as quickly as possible.”
A sharp pang in her chest made her gasp quietly, and she had to take a deep breath to avoid shouting at him. “I’m not going back to Seattle, at least not yet. I need to know you’re going to be fine.”
“You heard the doctor. I just have to transform some more. Otherwise, it’s wait-and-see about the ability to heal. With all the drugs they gave me, there’s no telling how scrambled my senses are, or what state my body’s in. I probably made all kinds of faulty assumptions.”
She gasped again when she realized what he was inferring. He was trying to take back his mate declaration. Sadness welled in her, but she struggled to hide it. He was still incapacitated, and the last thing he needed was an argument.
He looked at his cousin again. “Kade, get her out of here.”
She turned to glance at Kade, feeling a little sympathy for him and his conflicted expression. “I’m not leaving until Hale is up for a real conversation conducted logically and not obscured by pain medication and mind-numbing drugs.”
“That sounds fair to me.”
“Dammit, Kade, get rid of her. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
Kade chuckled. “And apparently, she doesn’t want you to do that. I suggest you just focus on recuperating for now, and when you’re better, you can kick her off the island yourself if that’s really what you want.”
She squeezed her eyes shut from emotional pain when Hale didn’t bother to deny that. He was clearly set on the course, having decided either that she wasn’t his mate, or that he didn’t want a mate. Either way, she had a tough road ahead of her. It was going to be difficult to avoid the discussion when she wanted answers so badly, but he clearly needed more time to convalesce first.
With a small sigh of exasperation, she went over to one of the hard plastic chairs and sat down on it as Hale closed his eyes, appearing to feign sleep rather than face her. It was a juvenile tactic, and she didn’t know whether to laugh or slug him. In the end, she did neither. She simply sat and waited, which was unusual for her. Unusual or not, she was certain Hale was worth waiting for.
Chapter Six
For the first time in a long time, Hale could hear his bear clearly in his mind, without the hint of haze that often left him feeling disconnected from that side of himself. Ever since Stone’s people had kidnapped him, he’d felt the keen absence of his bear side, buried under far too many layers of drugs to be able to reach easily.
His bear was a grumpy bastard, and it was Hale’s own fault, at least according to the beast inside him. He shouldn’t have tried to push Maya away. The bear was grousing at him for trying to un-claim their mate.
He knew it was a futile task, but he didn’t deserve her. The things he had done over the last few months were horrible enough, but the thing he had done to her was the absolute worst, and he would never be worthy to be her mate.
She stood beside the bed now, looking exasperated and hurt. The expression in her eyes felt like it ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, but he forced his expression to remain aloof, perhaps even a little stern. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes there is,” said Maya.
“Liar,” said his bear in hi
s head, much more forcefully and far louder. He winced, trying to tamp down the bear a little bit. He had missed that part of himself, but right now, he wished his bear would shut the fuck up.
“We have a lot to talk about. I’m not leaving until we do.”
In the two days since he’d awakened in Doc Buroh’s office, he had recovered rapidly enough to return to his cabin. He was still transforming a few times a day, while needing to avoid overdoing it so he didn’t expend too much energy. The doctor was encouraged by how quickly he was healing, guessing he would soon regain his full regenerative ability once his health was restored.
He thought about telling her to get out of his cabin, but he knew his cousin Kade wouldn’t enforce that even if he called to report her for trespassing. Kade would just laugh at him and tell him to work it out with his mate. He loved Kade, but his cousin was an asshole in the situation.
She was glaring at him with her hands on her hips, and the way her chest was heaving let him know his lower body was functioning just fine. He was hard as a rock and aching for her, but reminding himself of what he had done that night in the ring kept him from doing something impulsive, like getting out of the bed where he lay and pushing her onto the bed to kiss her forcefully.
“You said I was your mate, so what changed your mind? Were you just so drugged you didn’t know what you were saying?”
It was the perfect excuse, and he almost seized it, but he held himself in-check. He wasn’t certain if she was testing him, or if that was a fear weighing heavily on her. If the latter was the case, he didn’t want to make her feel worse by allowing her to believe it had been the drugs talking instead of him.