by Kit Tunstall
With a sigh, he ran a hand through his black hair as he stared at her, allowing his frustration and a hint of the want inside to show. “It wasn’t the drugs, but you can’t be my mate.”
She flinched as though he had slapped her. “Why not? Am I not good enough? Am I too curvy for you? Is it because I’m not a shifter too?”
He tugged at his hair until his scalp stung, needing something to focus him. “Dammit, Maya, it has nothing to do with you.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she looked like a fish out of water for just a second before she regained control. “That’s a stupid thing to say. It has everything to do with me. First you offer me this future, dangling it before me, and now you’re trying to take it back. How can you say it has nothing to do with me?”
He sighed again, struggling to find the words. “You deserve better. I don’t deserve you. It’s all me and has nothing to do with you. I’d be honored to have you as my mate, but I’m the one who’s not good enough.”
She glared at him. “What are you talking about?”
Hale shook his head. “How can you not know? I spent the last few months fighting and killing my own kind, and then I did the worst thing of all. I violated my mate.”
She blinked, looking confused. “Violated? You violated me?” At his nod, she shook her head. “You didn’t violate me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He glared at her. “Now who’s the one on drugs? Don’t tell me you forgotten that night in the ring, when I pushed you against the wall and forced you to mate. Perhaps even more shamefully, I gave you the mating bite without a chance to decline. You must hate me.”
She laughed at him, though it wasn’t a cruel sound. “I don’t hate you. I…I’m not in love with you, but I could easily see reaching that point. If you’d stop being so damn stubborn, we’d have a chance at really being mates.”
He slumped forward, putting his head in his hands, his elbows supported by the pillow on his lap. “We can’t do that. I’ve done something terrible to you, something completely taboo in our culture. You don’t claim a mate without her permission. Though its intensity fades without regular bites, it’s a permanent mark, and it wards off all other male shifters. If she doesn’t want you, you’ve tainted her for others too…”
He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to abort the headache forming behind them. He breathed deeply, still not looking at her. “I was under the influence of drugs that I didn’t take, but that’s no excuse for my behavior, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I certainly don’t deserve to have a mate like you after what I did to you.” She let out a sigh. “Look at me.”
Hale resisted for a moment, finding it easier to do what he had to do when he didn’t have to see her, or the pain in her eyes. Doing the right thing was getting increasingly difficult, but he couldn’t allow his resolve to falter. He’d already done enough terrible things, and he couldn’t allow her to be hurt further, not when he could stop it if he could just control himself and his bear inside, which was currently roaring at him to claim their mate again. Trying to block out the bear made it easier to ignore her until she spoke sharply.
“Open your eyes and look at me.”
With a small sigh, he forced himself to obey the command in her tone. He was about to say something, but he completely forgot what it was at the sight before him.
His mate had shed her clothes, and she stood in her full, rounded, and glorious nudity before him. He groaned softly as his bear growled with possessive pleasure. He was in trouble, and his resolve was rapidly weakening.
***
Maya tried to project an air of confidence in the face of his conflicted stare. She was uncertain about this course of action, but desperation drove her. She had to get through to him somehow before he decided to cling to his nobility and insist on freeing her while breaking both their hearts in the process. She couldn’t think of a better way to get through to him as she moved closer, skirting around the edge of the bed while sashaying with her hips. “You’re my mate. I’m yours. You told me that, and it’s a promise I’m holding you to, Hale.”
He shook his head, still trying to fight his inner demons—that was clear from his expression and the way his eyes darkened. She wasn’t certain which side was winning, but she was rooting for the bear, which seemed to want to forget all about the circumstances surrounding their first mating, and the bite he’d use to claim her, while his tortured human side insisted on dwelling upon it and punishing himself for something that wasn’t his fault.
“You should go now.”
She shook her head as she put one knee on the bed. It was an encouraging sign when he didn’t push her away, so she put her other knee on the bed too, swinging one over and around him to straddle his thighs.
He groaned, but didn’t try to push her away, either physically or verbally. He just closed his eyes, perspiration beading on his brow. “You can’t do this. You deserve better than me. I’m not worthy of a mate, especially one as perfect as you.”
She laughed softly. “When you say things like that, I can’t seem to help myself. I just want to kiss you, touch you, and…” She bent her head, running her tongue up his abdomen, carefully skirting the much smaller bandage covering the area. He was healing more each day, but there was still evidence of the wound.
He groaned as her tongue moved over his skin, letting out a small sound that could have meant anything, but was probably one of pleasure, when she grazed her teeth across his nipple. A moment later, she reached her destination, and she held her breath for a moment before she buried her teeth into his shoulder in a light nip. It was a bit on the sharp side, and he yelped, his eyes flying open as she lifted her head to look at him.
“What are you doing?” His bewilderment was clear.
She smiled at him, as the seductive upswing of her lips, and ensured her voice emerged as a silken purr. “I’m claiming you as my mate. That’s how it’s done, isn’t it?”
Hale groaned. “You can’t do that, Maya.”
She frowned at him. “Oh, are only males allowed to bite their female mates? That seems pretty sexist.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re not a shifter, so you aren’t imparting pheromones that mark me as yours, at least not to the same extent or intensity. If we were mates, you could still mark me as much as you wanted. It’s not a gender issue. It’s just an issue of doing the right thing, and you deserve better than me.”
Exasperated, Maya slid higher up his body, brushing her wet folds against his hard erection. His mind was conflicted, but his body clearly wasn’t. “I know what I want, and you’re plenty worthy to me. You’re the only one blaming yourself for what’s happened, and it’s not right to push me away because you’re hurting. I want to help you feel better and be with you, to stand by you and offer comfort when you need it. I know you’re hurt, but pushing me away just hurts me too.”
Hale let out a ragged sigh. “I just can’t…” He trailed off, looking lost.
“You can,” she said firmly. Maya knew instinctively that if she let him push her away now, it would be even harder to break through his walls later. She didn’t want to be rough on him, but she was convinced he needed her, perhaps even more than she needed him, and she refused to let him push her away out of a misguided sense of nobility.
With that thought in mind, she aligned her opening with the head of his cock, preparing to take him inside her. Instead, in the blink of an eye, their positions had shifted. He had her pinned to the bed, having flipped her over with ease. She blinked up at him, confused about how quickly things had changed.
“No, you don’t. If you’re determined to do this, we’re going to do it right. We’re not rushed in front of an audience now.” His voice is more of a gruff growl than a human timbre, and it was hot enough to have burned through her panties if she was still wearing any. She nodded her head in compliance, having no wish to argue with that stipulation. If he wanted to spend hours on her body, she was more
than happy to let him as long as she had the same privilege.
A second later, Hale bent his head, and his mouth captured hers for a deep kiss. It was their first one, which was strange when she thought about it, since they had already had sex, but under the gentle onslaught of his mouth, she soon found it difficult to think about anything except for the next brush of his lips against hers, or the stroke of his tongue as it coaxed the seam of her lips apart. She yielded, caressing his tongue with hers as it slipped into her mouth. Maya strained to get closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as his slipped around and under her body, pulling her soft flesh more tightly against his hard body.
She let out a small sound of protest when his mouth broke away from hers, but it was simply so he could drift lower, nibbling his way over her chin and down her neck, his intent clear as he angled to the left, finally reaching her breast a moment later. She gasped and dug a hand into his hair when he encompassed the taught bud in his wet mouth, sucking gently.
She wanted to ensure he didn’t leave, so she kept her hand lodged firmly in his hair, holding him against her. It felt divine to have his mouth touching her that way, and when he moved away, she would have whimpered if she’d been capable of speech. Fortunately, he was simply switching his attention to her other breast, repeating the gentle motions of his lips and mouth as his hand cupped the one he had just left, fingers twirling gently around her nipple.
By the time his mouth drifted down her abdomen, ghosting over her belly button before reaching her mound, she was a sodden, sobbing mess. She needed him with an intensity she had never known before, and half of her wanted to demand he skip his next destination and simply bury his cock inside her, because only it would satisfy her. The other half of her wanted to feel his lips on her and his tongue inside her most intimate place. There was something intensely bonding about the act, so she didn’t register a protest when he settled between her thighs, fingers splaying her folds to give his mouth room to work.
She quickly decided he was good at his job, his tongue and lips teasing and coaxing her into a fevered state. The appendage stroked down her folds, seeming to find every little niche that felt anywhere from good to amazing. When he found the amazing spots, he seemed to take care to memorize them, returning over and over again to those areas. Considering how talented his tongue was, she shouldn’t have been surprised when she came with a small cry seemingly seconds after he had started his passionate ministrations.
He reacted with a small chuckle, temporarily easing the intensity of his touch, but not letting up. His continued attention drew out the pleasure of her orgasm, and she had barely finished coming the first time when he brought her to a renewed pitch, inducing a second orgasm. It was clear he planned to repeat the pattern, so she summoned all her strength, both emotional and physical, to get his attention. It would have been marvelous to just simply slip into the pleasure his mouth offered, to lose herself in the sensations, but she needed more.
She tried gently pulling his head away, but he resisted, either because he was enjoying his location, or because he was determined to get her off again. Either way, she wanted him elsewhere, so she tugged more forcefully on his hair.
With the smothered oath, he lifted his head. Proof of her arousal made his face shiny, and he looked torn between exasperation and intense need. “I’m kinda busy here. What do you need?”
In spite of her determination, and her plans to focus strictly on instructing him about what she really wanted, she found herself giggling. “I’m sorry to bother you in the middle of work.”
He winked at her. “It’s hardly work when you love it this much.”
As his head started to lower, she jerked gently on his hair again, forcing his gaze back to hers. “As much as I love your mouth, there’s another part of you I’d rather have between my legs at the moment.”
He tipped his head slightly to the side, as though considering her words. “Is it my… knee?”
She giggled at him again, surprised by the playful side of him. As morose as he was, and after the trauma he’d suffered, it was nice to see a bit of carefree fun from him. “Higher.”
He frowned in concentration. “My chin?”
She shook her head. “Lower.”
With a sexy grin, he asked, “Is it my cock?”
She nodded. “Bingo.”
He laughed too, and it was a rich, full sound. It was the first time she’d heard him express any amusement, and the deep, rich sound made bubbles of excitement fizz in her stomach even as it increased her need for him to a new level.
“That’s a different game, Maya.”
She let all hint of amusement fade, needing him to believe her sincerity as she captured his gaze with hers. “I’m not playing any games, Hale. I need you.”
His amusement fled, and his own desire clearly took over. He lifted her thighs in both his hands, rearranging her to his liking and pulling her off the pillow at the same time. She let out a startled yelp, but there was no pain in it and no fear. It must have reassured him that she was just fine with everything, because he didn’t slow down or pause in his actions. He spread her legs as wide as they would go as he got on his knees, angling forward so that the shaft could find her liquid heat.
They cried out together when he surged inside her less than a second later, settling fully into her sheath and making her tremble under the force of the pleasure he evoked.
He stayed inside her, buried as deeply as he could, for a long moment as their gazes locked. Slowly, he began to ease out of her before sliding in again.
She matched his rhythm, which stayed slow and careful for a long time. Time itself ceased to exist as they shared their own private world, lost in each other’s eyes as their bodies moved in tandem, gradually building closer to the point of an intense release. It seemed to happen slowly though, and she was almost startled when she contracted around him, feeling his cock twitch in sympathy as their orgasms began.
In contrast to the slow, gentle pace they had maintained, the orgasm swept over her like a raging inferno, making her entire body tingle and causing her to gasp several times as she tried to breathe under the force of her release. She had never come like that in her life, and to feel him inside her, obviously undergoing the same intense release, simply fueled her own. Time had lost all meaning, so she wasn’t certain how long she orgasmed, but it felt like hours as they held each other, though she was certain it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two at the most.
When the last wave of pleasure had crested and waned, he still held her tightly against him, their bodies fused as they turned on their sides to face each other. He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, and she squeezed his hip, uncertain when her hand had arrived at that destination.
He spoke first. “Thank you.”
Her eyes widened. “I think I should be the one thanking you. That was the most amazing, intense lovemaking of my life.”
“Mine too.” The words were gruff, but the tone was tender. He kissed her again, this time gently on the lips, before wrapping his arms around her and securing her tightly against him. It didn’t take long at all before his breathing deepened and evened out, indicating he had fallen asleep.
She supposed she should get up, take a shower, and do something productive. None of that sounded appealing, so she allowed herself to listen to him breathe, enjoying the feel of his arms around her as she clung to him, and though she hadn’t anticipated falling asleep, she realized sometime later that her eyes were heavy, and she allowed them to close.
***
They spent the next two days mostly in bed, other than the times he got up to shift, hoping to increase his healing ability. He seemed to have better control and a smaller wound every time he made the transition, and Dr. Buroh had told him he was optimistic that once the drugs cleared his system, he would be returned to his usual metabolic state.
On the morning of the third day after they had first become mates at her instigation—though tha
t certainly wasn’t the only time they had mated since then—he shifted before breakfast, and when he shifted back, the wound was entirely gone.
Maya let out a small gasp of surprise, though it was a silly reaction. She had seen it shrinking during the intervening days, but it was still somewhat startling to look at his perfectly smooth skin now and see no sign that he had been shot. She examined him from head to toe for a moment, looking for any signs of trauma, but his skin was smooth and unmarred. “That’s an amazing ability. I wish I had it.”
“It is amazing, but not as amazing as you.” He followed up his words by putting his arm around her and capturing her mouth for a deep kiss.
Things had just started to get really interesting when he abruptly pushed her away, though gently. She frowned at him in confusion. “What?”
“My sense of smell tells me the bacon is about to burn, and that would be a tragedy.” His eyes twinkled as he spoke.
She pulled away from his arms and turned back to the stove, quickly rescuing the bacon before it reached it went from crispy to burned. The eggs were ready a moment later, and she watched with gentle amusement as he wolfed down his breakfast before reaching for seconds. “I guess healing takes a lot out of you.”
He nodded, too busy eating to respond.
“Now that you’re fully healed, I guess I can’t keep you confined to bed all day.” She really was sorry to see that need flee in the face of his recovery. She wouldn’t trade him getting better for it though, since it was good to see him whole and vital again. Now he could move on.
Hopefully that didn’t include moving on without her, though she didn’t think it did. The last few days had been all about the two of them, but for the first time since she had claimed him as her mate, she started having doubts again. Now that he was healed, would he change his mind and turn away from her? Would he send her back to Seattle now that he no longer needed her?
She hoped that was simply an irrational fear, because he hadn’t really needed her the last few days either, no more than she had needed him anyway. Forcing herself to ask, because she needed to know even if she didn’t like the answer, she asked, “What now?”