Love This Life: Love's Great Adventure Series Book 2: Love's Great Adventure Series Book 2

by Theresa Troutman

  Tess placed her fork on her plate. “Mom, I love you both, but I’m really sick of everyone’s concern. I’m angry, okay? I don’t want to have this baby, not now, but it’s too late for that. I just have to try and make the most of it.” The comment made Kate speechless. Tess looked at her shocked expression and let out an audible sigh. “I’m sorry, it’s just how I feel. I’m having this baby because it means so much to Sebastian, but I can’t pretend to be happy about it. Do you think there is something wrong with me? Should I be seeing a therapist?” she asked, feeling confused and lost.

  “Tess, pregnancy does weird things to a woman, both physically and emotionally. Other women have felt the same things you are feeling. The important thing is to talk about those feelings. I’m here anytime you want to talk, and Sebastian wants you to be honest about your feelings with him.”

  “You two have talked about this?”

  “Yes, I’m glad he cares so much about you that he would share his concerns with me. I don’t think you could have picked a better partner to marry.”

  “I know he was the right choice for me. I’m just not sure how to tell him all this without it coming out wrong—like I’m selfish and uncaring.” Tess hung her head and shuddered. “The truth is I couldn’t do any of this without his support.”

  “Then you need to tell Sebastian just want you told me.”

  Tess put her elbows on the table and laid her head in the palms of her hands. “How did you handle college and pregnancy when you and Dad found out you were having me?”

  “We were thrilled when we found out we were having a baby. I was going to nursing school, so I already understood what was happening to my body from a medical standpoint. I guess that made it easier to accept. We wanted to have children at a young age. We hoped to have a whole house full of children. Of course that wasn’t in the cards,” her mom said with a tinge of melancholy.

  “Maybe it was easier for you because you planned the pregnancy. I was on birth control and still got pregnant.”

  “You’re not the first person that has ever happened to, Tess.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so ungrateful. I’m just trying to figure this all out.”

  “I know, honey. I’m always here for you.”

  * * *

  Sebastian and Tess enjoyed their afternoon walking through the Philadelphia Museum of Art. He didn’t talk about the baby; actually, he didn’t talk much at all. Sebastian could sense Tess starting to relax, her shoulders loosening as the tension left her body. She was at his side, holding his hand, and it felt like old times.

  He took her to Le Bec-Fin for her birthday dinner. It was extravagant, but Sebastian hadn’t bought her a birthday present, so he figured Tess would forgive him for spending so much money on a meal. They dined on scrumptious French cuisine: foie gras, venison, grilled vegetables, and mouthwatering homemade bread.

  Tess smiled as she took a bite of her venison. “This reminds me of Paris. I don’t care how much it cost. Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”

  “It makes me so happy to hear you say that,” he admitted, reaching over to caress her hand. “We’ll get to Europe again, I promise.”

  “I miss seeing you in a suit,” Tess admitted as she admired how handsome her husband looked sitting across from her. Then she leaned forward and whispered, “You look so sexy.”

  “I love you,” he whispered back.

  When their meal was consumed, the waiter brought a small birthday cake to the table. Tess’ eyes lit up with joy. Sometimes it was so easy to make her happy. They each ate a piece of the chocolate dessert and had the remainder boxed to take home.

  Tess held Sebastian’s hand as they drove back to Kate’s house. “Thank you, Bas. I needed a day like today—just you and me. The meal was incredible.”

  Sebastian chuckled. “So have I cured you of your McDonald’s obsession?”

  Tess laughed along. “No, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for McDonald’s, but I don’t feel so out of place now when you take me to fancy restaurants.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” he said, stealing a glance at her as they headed down the expressway. “Happy birthday, Tess.”

  Chapter 18 - All I Want Is You

  Sebastian cuddled with Tess on the sofa, the room lit by the fire roaring in the fireplace and the white twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. He was enjoying a piece of fruitcake Alice had made for him.

  “I don’t know how you eat that thing,” Tess said, scrunching up her nose at the red and green candied fruitcake.

  “It’s delicious, but undoubtedly very English.” He took a sip of coffee. “You know what I just realized? Next year at this time, we’ll be celebrating the baby’s first Christmas.”

  “The baby will only be eight months old. I doubt it will have any idea what is going on,” Tess reasoned.

  “Don’t take all the fun out of this for me.”

  “Oh, I can totally see you staying up late on Christmas Eve putting together a bicycle.”

  “I won’t do that. I’ll pay someone at the store to put it together.”

  Tess laughed because it was typical Sebastian and one of the things she loved about him.

  He stood and took his empty plate to the kitchen. Then Sebastian disappeared into the guest bedroom. He came back few minutes later holding a package. It was obviously a painting, Tess observed, looking at the eighteen-by-twenty-foot picture wrapped in Santa Claus gift wrap.

  “We said we weren’t going to buy each other any gifts this year,” she reminded him.

  “I didn’t exactly buy it for you. It’s for the baby.”

  “You’re buying the baby art and it’s not even born yet?”

  “What makes you think it’s art?” Sebastian asked.

  “What else could it be, shaped like that? It’s not a rocking horse.”

  She reached out and started to pull the paper off the frame. Inside was a bright yellow canvas with a black outline of a crawling infant.

  The Keith Haring painting brought a smile to her face. The painting was fun and playful: perfect for a baby. She reached over and hugged her husband. “I love it, thank you. You didn’t get it at the gallery, did you?”

  “No, I stopped into the Pop Shop and had the chance to meet Mr. Haring. He made it especially for the baby. Turn the canvas around.”

  Tess looked on the back. There was an inscription in pencil. For Baby Irons - K. Haring ’87.

  “Please tell me it cost less than the Warhol.”

  “It cost much less than the Warhol, but that doesn’t matter. I only care that you like it.”

  “I do,” Tess reiterated. “Does this mean you’ll be buying art for the baby every year as a Christmas gift?”

  “That’s an excellent idea. If I buy right, the baby may never have to work a day in her life.”

  He had that twinkle in his eye that told Tess she should have kept her mouth shut, but she couldn’t be mad at him. His first investment had paid off and Sebastian had a good eye. He had the uncanny ability to pick the right art for investment’s sake. Sebastian propped the painting against the coffee table and joined Tess on the sofa.

  “You keep assuming it’s a girl.”

  “It’s just a hunch,” Sebastian admitted.

  “That’s very scientific.”

  “We’ll find out for sure when you have the ultrasound next week.”

  Tess lay on the examination table while the doctor prepared for her ultrasound. She held Sebastian’s hand and they watched the black and white monitor. Suddenly they could see the outline: the baby’s head and an arm stretched overhead.

  “Look, she’s waving.” Sebastian grinned.

  “And here is the heartbeat,” the doctor pointed out.

  Tess watched in amazement. Hearing and seeing the tiny heartbeat was overwhelming. It made the whole thing frighteningly real, and she wasn’t sure whether to be thrilled or terrified.

  The doctor continued moving the sc
anner over Tess’ belly. “Everything looks good. Do you want to know the sex?”

  “My husband is convinced it’s a girl. Is he right?”

  The doctor moved the scanner again to view another angle of the baby. “He’s right. Congratulations, you’re having a girl.” The doctor cleaned the gel off Tess’ stomach and removed his gloves. “I’ll leave you alone for a few minutes.”

  Sebastian gazed down at Tess. “Did you hear that, darling? We’re having a girl.”

  “Yes, it’s wonderful news,” she announced, trying to sound upbeat. “I’m so happy you’re getting a little girl. You’ll be an amazing father, Bas.”

  Thankfully, Sebastian was so enamored with the news that he didn’t pick up on her anxiety, and simply stared at the frozen image of his daughter on the monitor.

  They walked out into the cold wintery day after they finished at the doctor’s office. “Hungry? Let’s get an early dinner before we head home,” Sebastian suggested.

  “I’m always hungry,” Tess frowned. Thank God for Lycra leggings and oversized sweaters. At least she was in fashion and hadn’t had to buy dreaded maternity clothes yet.

  “Where did you want to go?”

  “The restaurant at Saks.”

  “Okay, shall we hail a taxi?” Sebastian inquired.

  “No, I could use the exercise. Let’s walk.”

  They crossed the street and continued up Fifth Avenue. “Are you happy we’re having a girl?”

  “I know you had your heart set on it. I’m glad you are getting what you want,” Tess told him.

  “I would love this baby no matter what sex it is.”

  Tess felt as if she was in a chokehold and couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t continue with this conversation. “How are things at the gallery? Anyone famous stop in lately?” she asked, attempting to change the subject.

  “Things are going well. I have a client, Mrs. Irving, that wants me to find her the next big thing in London. She likes to purchase on the ground level so she can be the envy of all her friends.”

  “How do you do that?”

  “Penny put me in contact with a few art dealers and I read the trades. It’s all about connections and building relationships, though I must admit it would be easier if I could take a trip abroad to do it in person.”

  “You should do it. Maybe I could join you.”

  “And what about Mattie?”

  There it was again: more talk about the baby. Only this time he was calling her by name. “Maybe my mom will take her for a week so we can go in the summer.”

  “I don’t think I could leave her so soon. Can you?”

  “I really don’t know, Sebastian. I just don’t want our lives to change because of the baby,” Tess replied, feeling deflated.

  Sebastian stopped walking and pulled Tess back against a building, out of the line of pedestrians, and into his arms. “Everything is going to change, Tess. It is inevitable. I know you’re fighting it, but you need to prepare yourself.”

  “Couldn’t we bring Alice along?” she asked in desperation. “Ever since we found out I was pregnant, things have changed between us. I just want my husband back. I want you all to myself, I don’t care if it sounds selfish.”

  * * *

  For the first time, Tess opened up to him about how she was truly feeling. He wasn’t quite sure what to say in response. For the past several months she’d wanted to avoid conversations about Mattie, and now she had finally told him why. Sebastian never thought of the baby as a distraction, but maybe he had spent too much time thinking and talking about the impending arrival and less time doting on Tess. He felt a pang of regret. Of course she was in a fragile state, and he had done a poor job of making her feel loved and cherished.

  “I’m yours, Tess—utterly and completely yours.” He leaned in and kissed her with emotion. It must have been a good kiss, because he could hear a little moan of delight in the back of her throat.

  “That’s all I ever wanted, Bas.”

  They ate an early supper at Saks and then Sebastian took Tess to a movie. They shared a bucket of popcorn and Sebastian had his arm around his wife throughout the film. She snuggled into him, a happy expression on her face. She didn’t even seem to mind that he’d dragged her to another John Hughes movie. They were together and he was focusing his attention on her.

  She leaned into him and whispered, “Thank you.”

  Chapter 19 - Love Plus One

  Tess was well into her second trimester, but rarely talked to Sebastian about the pregnancy. He pampered Tess and gave her love and attention. Things were great between them if the baby was left out of the conversation. However, not talking about the baby was increasingly difficult for Sebastian. Where he would spend his time reading pregnancy books, Tess dove deeper into her coursework. No matter how he tried to reach her, they were drifting further apart. It was killing him and he didn’t understand why she couldn’t be happy like he was. Sometimes he felt like giving up and getting off the emotional roller coaster she had put him on, but he loved her too much to ever consider walking away.

  It was Saturday evening and both Tess and Sebastian were sitting on the sofa. Tess was studying, Sebastian was reading a novel. He had to say something; the silence was killing him. Gently closing her textbook and removing it from Tess’ grasp, Sebastian said, “We need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “The baby.”

  “We always talk about the baby,” she said in exasperation.

  “That’s not true, Tess. You’re in denial. The baby is coming whether you want it or not.”

  “Yes, I know that, Bas. I’m the one who has gained fifteen pounds and can’t fit into her clothes anymore. Don’t try to pretend you know what I’m going through,” she warned in anger.

  “I think I do know what you’re going through. I’m the one reading the books,” Sebastian countered, holding up the pregnancy book that was sitting on the coffee table.

  “Books are fine in theory, but reality is very different. I knew the first year of marriage was going to be a challenge, but I wasn’t expecting to be pregnant, too. I can’t raise a baby and graduate at the top of my class and become a journalist. I don’t want to sacrifice my dream,” Tess ground out.

  “I never asked you to give up your dream, and you don’t have to. I have a plan.” Sebastian took her fingers in his hands. He took a deep breath and prayed she didn’t go mental on him when he uttered the next sentence. “I’m not going back to NYU in the fall. I’m staying home to raise the baby, so you can graduate and get a job. You already made my dream come true by marrying me and giving me this child. I finally have the family I’ve always wanted. I’m so grateful that I had Nanny Jones, but I won’t dump my child off on a governess. I hope you understand my logic behind this.”

  Tess was dumbstruck. She stared at him for the longest moment, trying to come to grips with what he had just told her. So many things ran through her mind, and they all led back to the same conclusion. It seemed like the perfect solution for them both. Tess was terrified to become a mother and had no faith she could do a good job. She had even contemplated asking Sebastian if they could hire Alice to become a full-time nanny. The idea of Sebastian staying home to care for the child put her at ease. She might be ill equipped to be a mother, but she had absolutely no qualms that Sebastian would make an excellent father.

  Sebastian was right to want to raise the child. He had a terrible relationship with his mother, which had disintegrated beyond repair, and a nonexistent relationship with his father. Tess had a good upbringing and wanted that for their child. She only wished she could love the baby half as much as Sebastian already did. Maybe that love would come in time—once the baby was born. Right now it was just a foreign object taking residence in her body. She was having a difficult time thinking of the baby as a human being, even after seeing the sonogram in the doctor’s office.

  “You’re right. I think it’s the best solution,” she calmly stated.
r />   “Really?”

  “I know you’ll take good care of us both. Will you keep your job at the gallery? You’ve done so well there and we could use the extra money with another mouth to feed.”

  Sebastian grinned and leaned in to kiss her on the lips. “Yes, I’m staying at the gallery. Fiona can give me more hours and Alice offered to babysit on the days I have to go into the city.” He paused and looked into her eyes. “You’re really on board with this?”

  “I’m all in. We can do this, right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Tess turned on the sofa and placed her feet on Sebastian’s lap. “Rub my feet, please.”

  He complied without complaint, rubbing her feet with his knuckles. It felt so good, she lay back on the couch and closed her eyes, and maybe for the first time in months she felt some relief. Sebastian would take care of them; she knew it in her heart—she just needed to keep reminding her brain of that fact.

  “How am I doing?” Sebastian asked.

  “Perfect,” she murmured, her eyes still closed. Suddenly she felt a spasm in her belly—the baby kick for the first time. Her eyes flew open and her hand reached over her abdomen.

  “What is it?” Sebastian anxiously questioned.

  Tess stilled and then began to smile. “The baby is kicking.” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly.

  Sebastian’s expression turned to awe. “Oh my God, that’s amazing.” He leaned down and said to Tess' stomach, “You’re going to be a strong one, like your mummy, aren’t you?”

  “I’m sure she can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

  “Yes, she can. It’s in the book. You really should read it. I’ve been marking passages for you.” Sebastian grabbed the book and handed it to his wife.

  Tess rolled her eyes but accepted the book. As much as she wanted to hide, feeling the baby move inside her flipped some kind of invisible switch in her brain. She needed to prepare for what was to come, for it seemed Sebastian was far more versed in what to expect than she was.