The Felix Chronicles: Freshmen

by R. T. Lowe

  “No way!” Allison shouted. “I knew it—but I didn’t wanna say anything. They were talking about you downstairs. But everyone thought you were in Satler. I can’t believe you’re Felix’s roommate! This is so cool!”

  “I’ve never known an actual celebrity,” Harper said. She sounded excited but not as excited as Allison.

  “And you still don’t,” Lucas remarked with a laugh. “I’m just another reality show idiot.”

  “Didn’t you have sex with that girl?” Caitlin crinkled up her nose in disgust like someone had just thrown a rotting fish into the room. “What was her name? Cheap-bling, or Venus de Sexy, or something ridiculous like that?”

  “I did.” Lucas dug his free hand into a pocket of his shorts. “And for your information, her name’s Z-Bling. What’d you think of my performance?”

  Everyone laughed.

  Everyone except Caitlin. “I’d have given you an F,” she said disdainfully.

  “Is that so?” Lucas feigned surprise. “Well, maybe you can show me what I need to improve on.”

  Caitlin’s eyes bulged from their sockets. Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again as she looked back and forth from Lucas to Harper as if she was hoping Harper would provide the snappy comeback she was searching her brain for. Finally, she stammered out: “You can’t… you can’t be serious!”

  Lucas smiled at her and laughed. “I’m just jerking your chain, Little C. Come on, drink your beer and relax a little. How are we gonna be friends if you take everything I say so seriously?”

  “Don’t call me Little C,” Caitlin said testily. “I don’t like beer. And don’t tell me what to do.” Harper was laughing in a way that made Felix think she’d seen this from Caitlin many times before.

  Lucas grinned at Caitlin’s volley, completely nonplussed. “How can you not like beer?”

  “I don’t know,” Caitlin said, annoyed. “Why do I need a reason? I just don’t. I like wine.”

  “Well you might wanna start appreciating it.” Lucas smiled. “‘Cause I don’t think they serve much wine at college parties.”

  Caitlin frowned as she seemed to consider Lucas’s suggestion. Then she held the can up to her lips and took a sip. She quickly brought it back down and made a scrunchy face. “It’s bitter.”

  “The more you drink, the sweeter it gets,” Lucas said.

  “Okay then,” Allison said, watching the exchange between Caitlin and Lucas with a curious expression. “Speaking of serious, what were you guys talking about when we got here? You looked all intense.”

  Felix didn’t want to bring up Emma with Allison in the room. She didn’t know all the sordid details, but she knew she broke up with him, and he didn’t want everyone knowing (especially Harper) that his high school girlfriend had kicked his sorry ass to the curb.

  “Just all the shit goin’ on in Ashfield Forest,” Felix said. It was the first thing that popped into his head.

  “Oh.” Caitlin tensed up like a sudden bout of acid reflux had just hit her. “My parents—Harper’s too—are concerned about it. But it’s not like we’re ever going there. That forest is way on the other side of town.”

  Harper wiped a trace of foam from her upper lip and said quietly, “It’s still too close if you ask me. I wish it was on the other side of the world. It’s just so depressing.”

  “Yeah, but not as depressing as the Faceman,” Caitlin said in a grim voice, her somber tone darkening the mood like a blanket.

  The room went silent, heads nodding in agreement.

  “I mean,” Caitlin continued, “you can just avoid whatever’s going on in the forest. It’s simple—you just don’t go. Problem solved. But the Faceman… well… he—”

  “Finds you, kidnaps you and blows your face off,” Harper finished quickly.

  More head nodding and nervous grunts of assent.

  “If you’re an only child, raise your hand,” Lucas said, looking around at each of them.

  No explanation was necessary; they all knew what that meant.

  Caitlin shuddered and slowly raised her hand.

  Felix raised his beer above his head. He glanced at Allison, wondering what she was going to do. She was staring at him. Her expression was hard, her eyes cold. He could take a hint. If she didn’t want to tell anyone she was adopted (and an only child) that was fine by him. It’s not like he would ever volunteer that information anyway. She had to know that. He didn’t think her eye daggers were really necessary.

  “I have a sister,” Harper said.

  “I have two,” Allison said, her fierce stare still on Felix.

  “Four brothers,” Lucas added. “So I guess that means Felix and Caitlin are going to die this year.”

  “Hey!” Caitlin screamed at Lucas. “That’s not funny. You shouldn’t even joke about things like that.”

  “Okay,” Lucas said. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just joking. I take it back. Geez. You’re awfully sensitive for someone so cute, Little C. Nobody’s gonna die this year, okay? Nobody.”

  Chapter 9

  The Betas

  The frat party started off with the five of them getting lost on the way to the house. Maybe it was because the campus looked different at night or because no one knew their way around (besides Felix, who was walking behind Harper and paying more attention to her ass than where they were going). Or maybe it was the case of beer they’d polished off in two hours. Whatever it was, thirty minutes after leaving the dorm they were right back at the Freshman Yard. Twenty minutes after that, Caitlin took Lucas’s phone—the two beers she’d choked down had apparently gone to her head—and took off like a scared rabbit. Lucas chased after her and she fell into a shrub. He got his phone back but she lost a shoe—her favorite shoe. A lengthy search yielded nothing, and they were only able to continue on their way after Lucas convinced her that he’d seen an unusually large squirrel scurrying off with it.

  Then it got awkward.

  It seemed like the entire student body had descended on Greek Row, stately old behemoths clustered along Adams Street on the northwestern corner of campus. While Felix was trying to decide if the houses reminded him of funeral homes or something out of Gone With The Wind, a pair of Betas at the door let them all in after taking an unnecessarily long look at the girls. Before Felix had time to get too worked up at the way the Betas were checking out the girls they were inside the house. The inside may have been as stately as the outside, but it was too dark, too crowded, and too loud to get a sense of anything. They made their way to the keg room where a group of Betas swarmed the girls like park pigeons swooping down on bread crumbs scattered on the sidewalk; the Betas brought the girls beers and led them off to the dance floor. Meanwhile, Felix and Lucas got their own beers and led themselves to a darkened corner where they drank and shouted at each other to be heard over music so loud it vibrated the floors and rattled the pictures (horses and boats) on the walls.

  Then it got annoying.

  Some of the kids at the party didn’t look like kids at all. They looked… old. Like adults. And everyone there seemed to know everyone else. And if that wasn’t enough to make Felix feel like an outsider, a short Beta with a spiky faux hawk made a point of throwing a shoulder into his chest as he walked by; then he gave Felix a look that left no doubt he was looking for a fight. That happened just as Harper emerged from the dance floor with enough Betas trailing behind her to form a basketball team. Felix watched her break into peals of laughter as one of the Betas (they were all wearing shirts with bright red “Bs” splashed across their chests) leaned in and whispered something in her ear. Felix felt his face getting hot. His stomach started to knot up. Then Harper and her entourage disappeared back into the sea of thrashing bodies. Felix drained the rest of his beer and slipped into line to get another, thinking that this was the worst party ever.

  It was about to get a whole lot worse.

  Most of the kegs had kicked. It was getting late. Lucas had just told another girl—the fourth tonight—tha
t he wasn’t Minnesota Mayer. When Felix gave him a surprised look, Lucas shrugged and said, “If I wanted to bang mediocre chicks I’d have to put ‘em on a waiting list.” He was laughing, but Felix didn’t think it was a joke.

  Harper and Caitlin returned to the keg room, heads close together, nodding quickly, mouths working fast. When they were within shouting range, Caitlin gave them a questioning look and said, “She’s not with you?”

  “Who?” Felix asked. He was already annoyed, and wishing they hadn’t come here. When they’d left the dorm, he never thought the night would play out like this. He wasn’t expecting to hook up with Harper (of course he’d thought about it—a lot), but he didn’t think she’d spend the night laughing, dancing and drinking with twenty other guys. What did they have that he didn’t? Why didn’t she want to hang out with him?

  “Allison,” Caitlin said.

  “We haven’t seen her in, I don’t know, an hour maybe,” Felix replied.

  Harper and Caitlin exchanged a glance.

  “What’s going on?” Felix asked, feeling like Harper and Caitlin were trying to hide something from him. But why would they do that?

  “You think she’s with him?” Harper said to Caitlin.

  “I don’t know.” Caitlin shrugged. “Maybe. But we should look in case…”

  “Who’s him?” Felix shouted at them.

  “Come on,” Harper said. “I think the rooms are upstairs.” She turned and headed down a hallway that led to the front of the house. They all fell in behind her. The place was still overrun with people, but it had thinned out some; Felix could actually see the walls, and he didn’t have too much trouble finding the staircase. He also saw someone he knew—a kid on the football team. Felix went up to him and asked if they could have a look upstairs. The kid yawned and went back to his beer.

  When they reached the landing, Felix’s first thought was how pissed the parents were going to be when they got home. Then he remembered where he was. This wasn’t high school. A main hallway ran the length of the house, and it was even more congested than the floor below: wall-to-wall bodies. Everyone had a red plastic cup in hand and some kids had two, probably a strategy employed when the kegs began to run low. A couple to their right was making out, and someone near them was laughing and shouting, “Get a room.” As they stood there taking it all in, no one seemed to pay any attention to them.

  “Christ!” Lucas said, looking back and forth as if he was about to cross a busy intersection. “If she’s in a room, we’re never going to find her. Which way you wanna go?”

  “Maybe that w—” Harper started to say.

  A fat Beta in an orange polo came stumbling out of the nearest room shouting: “You’re an asshole, Jeff! I hope that scabby slut makes your dick fall off!” Then he stomped through the hall, but before he could get very far Lucas caught up to him and grabbed his arm to get his attention.

  “Hey,” Lucas said to him as the Beta freed his arm with a clumsy tug. “We’re looking for a girl. Dark hair. Tall. Green shirt—I think. You seen her?”

  He laughed and started walking off. Then he stopped and turned back to Lucas. “I did see her. See that pretty door?” He pointed off to his left to an area just a short way down the hall. Felix followed his finger and glimpsed strips of red and blue through the shifting crowd. “In there. Why don’t you have a look?” He started up with the laughter again as he stumbled away.

  Felix found a crease in the crowd and weaved his way to the door. Lucas joined him a few seconds later. It wasn’t exactly pretty, but it was painted: a red letter B in the center along with a blue and white shield and two crossed swords beneath it. They looked at each other for a moment, then Lucas shrugged and reached out for the brass knob. He turned it and gave it a push. The door began to swing open. The room was dark, and Felix wondered why Allison would be in a room that—

  And that’s when everything came crashing down around them.

  Felix wasn’t sure how it had happened, but he was on the floor, face down and smothered under bodies. At least three people were on top of him—he saw a sneaker, a loafer and a large hairy toe sticking out from a flip flop. He felt hands gripping his ankles, then his legs were wrenched up off the floor, and he was being dragged away from the door; he looked up just as it slammed shut. He heard screams. The carpet, rough and smelling of beer, burned his chin as the door drew further and further away. He pushed up with his arms, and then more bodies jumped on the pile and he collapsed flat on his stomach. The screaming grew louder. And mixed in with the screams was laughter.

  “Get off of me, you assholes!” Lucas was shouting. “Get off!” It sounded like he was on the floor too, and close, though Felix couldn’t see where he was. He had a momentary flashback to earlier in the day of looking up at a blue sky through the grill of a facemask and wondered what he had done today to deserve this.

  “What the hell’s going on?” someone shouted. “What’s going on down there? Pracker! Get up! Get everyone off! Pracker! Hey!”

  Felix knew the voice. But from where? He couldn’t place it.

  The people crushing the air out of Felix began untangling themselves limb by limb and the load lightened. Then he felt something sharp digging into his side—a finger?—and he let out a painful shout. He got to his knees and shrugged the rest of them off. He planted one foot, but before he could get the other one out from under him, someone pushed him hard in the chest and he banged up against the wall. Felix glanced over and saw it was the little punk with the faux hawk. The kid screamed something angry and incoherent at Felix, then he balled up his hands into fists and brought his arm back into a punching position. Felix jumped to his feet and raised his arms to protect his face.

  Lucas intervened: He grabbed the kid by the shoulders and threw him down the hall (he actually caught air), sending him sprawling to the floor.

  “Hey!” That same voice again. “Enough! Cut it out! Perry, get your ass over here!”

  Faux hawk punk—Perry—scrambled to his feet and was about to charge at them when a tall blond kid snagged him by the collar and slung him back into the crowd. Felix saw the blond kid’s face—then his jaw dropped. It was Grayson Bentley. And when Felix realized who the girl was standing beside him, he started choking on carper fibers. Allison.

  Felix was too stunned to react. Not only had a dozen frat boys attacked him and Lucas for no reason, but Allison (‘best friend’ Allison; ‘the only person in the world he trusted’ Allison) was practically holding hands with the President of the Student Union. The hall, already a human jungle, was getting even more knotted as kids emerged from their rooms—some only partially dressed—to see what was going on. Someone hit the overhead lights and suddenly the hall seemed as bright as a tanning bed.

  Felix stood there with his mouth hanging open, staring stupidly from Allison to Grayson and back again. His eyes met Allison’s for a moment and she looked down at the floor, a faint flush creeping over her cheeks.

  “What were you doing in there?” Grayson asked them.

  Felix didn’t know how to respond. In where?

  Grayson must have seen the confusion on Felix’s face because he broke into a big smile.

  “What the hell’s so funny?” Lucas shouted at Grayson. He was holding onto a button (it looked like a bear had chewed on his shirt) that he glanced down at for a second before tossing it on the floor.

  “You’re right,” Grayson said soberly, walking toward them through the parting crowd, his smile gone. “Breaking into our chapter room isn’t a laughing matter. What did you think you were doing?”

  Chapter room? Felix didn’t even know what that was.

  “Well?” Grayson demanded when they didn’t answer.

  “We didn’t know it was your chapter room!” Lucas shouted. “Some idiot told us she was in there. We were just looking for her.” He pointed at Allison, who was still gazing down at her feet.

  “Oh.” Grayson turned to her, his eyes widening slightly. “Friends of yours
?”

  “Yeah.” Allison quick-stepped over to Felix and took him by the arm. Then she spun around to face Grayson and the mob that had congregated behind him. “I’m sorry, but I’ve… gotta go.”

  “Wait a minute,” Grayson said in a surprised voice. “This isn’t a big deal. The chapter room’s supposed to be locked during parties. That was our fault. And for that, I’m very sorry.” He turned his attention to Felix and Lucas. “Because of our carelessness, we’ve put you in a very awkward position.”

  “Awkward?” Lucas yelled. “You just tried to kill us, you ass—” He winced and grabbed at his side, the last word cut short.

  Allison had elbowed him in the ribs.

  “Please,” Grayson said, staring straight at Allison now. “This was clearly a misunderstanding. No one got hurt. And the night’s still young. Stay. I insist. I have a ninety-seven Brunello you’ll absolutely love. When we were in my room didn’t you tell me you wanted to learn more about wine? Well… here’s your chance.”

  “Maybe some other time.” Allison nudged Felix and Lucas toward the staircase.

  Grayson gave Allison a sympathetic smile as if to say I understand your predicament. But when she turned away he caught Felix’s eye, and his expression changed. He didn’t look so sympathetic any more. He looked angry. Like Felix had just taken something from him. Something valuable.

  Felix wasn’t concerned about hurting Grayson’s feelings—he just wanted to get the hell out of the Beta house. Felix and Lucas started toward the stairs, pressing through the crowd. A plastic cup hit the wall above Felix’s head and beer rained down on them. More cups followed. Through a chorus of jeers and profanities, they covered their heads and plowed their way through the bodies. Someone pushed Felix, knocking him into Lucas, and they stumbled forward, now only a few feet from the end of the landing. And then a large body moved in front of them, blocking their escape route. Felix recognized him from football practice. His name was Pracker—Mark Pracker. Jimmy Clay’s buddy—the one who strolled along the track with Jimmy after he got in ‘trouble’ for the helmet-to-helmet cheapshot.