He swept her into his arms and kissed her nose, then her waiting lips. “You understand me so well. Thank you for that. I have not had a reply from Jeremy, but surely he will grant us our requests. There must be some merit to being the shipmaster’s brother.”
Mary squeezed his hand. Ann had been blessed. She had a husband who was honorable and loved her very much. Would Barnabas ever love her the same way?
13
May 5, 1637
London, England
Standing on the pier, Mary could taste the salt on the dank air. The wooden ships bobbed like apples in a water bucket. The Swallow’s sails flapped in the wind.
She held on tightly to Jay’s and Ben’s hands as the crew heaved cargo up to the deck. Crates of oranges, turnips, and winter lettuce were hauled on board. Heavy barrels of salted meat were rolled up the plank, and bags of beans, too many to count, were tossed from one sailor to another.
“Mama, look.” Ben’s voice rang with excitement. “Look, our table!”
She attempted a smile as the table was hoisted to the deck, followed by two weighty oak casks. Everything they would have in the New World was in those casks. The family joked they were filled with gold, they were so heavy. “Yes, Ben, the table goes with us.”
Jeremy had responded that the blue slate should stay and granted Mary’s request to bring the oak table, provided the legs be removed. He commiserated with his brother, but promised he would do much importing in the future and would make delivery of the blue slate a priority.
Jay’s hand wriggled to escape her grasp and she clung tighter. He disliked holding hands, but today he needed her. Ben’s love came so easily. Would Jay ever return her love?
She looked up and down amongst the crowd for Papa, Lizzie, Zeke, and the children. Everything she’d done this past year prepared her for their journey and she’d visited her family as often as the days would allow, but nothing could have prepared her for the ill she felt in her stomach this day. She spotted Josh first, running ahead of his sisters and Lizzie. Zeke brought up the rear with Papa.
Allowing Jay to run up ahead to greet his cousins, she wrapped her arms around Ben and kissed his blond curls. “It shall be hard saying goodbye to everyone. Help me through this, Ben.”
“Why don’t they come with us, Mama? Why must we leave them here? Father says it’s not safe. Why would they stay?”
“I wish they could come. Perhaps they shall miss us too much and decide to follow us.” She squeezed him harder.
Lizzie pushed through the crowd, her crystal blue eyes dry, but her cheeks red and tearstained. Just like Lizzie to hide her pain. Rachel and Ruth pulled at Ben until he was obliged to join them in a game of tag.
Tears collected in Mary’s eyes as Lizzie and Hannah joined her. “’Tis good for him to run off some energy. It shall be a long journey without much chance of such play.”
“That is true. I cannot imagine life on a ship. ’Tis like a prison, is it not?” Lizzie smiled with a tease in her eyes.
Mary giggled despite herself. “I could not know yet, but thank you for the thought. You’ve an odd way of alleviating tension, my dear sister.”
The wind whipped the sails around the tall masts as if impatient, and Mary looked up at the ship that would carry her small family away to the New World. How many ships had she watched labor out of this very harbor? To think she would now be the one waving from the deck. Would it be a prison? No matter, as long as they lived to tell about it.
Lizzie followed her gaze. “You always said you loved the ships.”
She forced her attention back to the pier, searching for Papa. “What was I thinking? I must be a romantic at heart.”
Lizzie stepped close. “Mary, you do not have to do this. You still have time to say you must stay.”
She looked at her sister, so beautiful in her sapphire blue dress, her black ringlets pulled high under her wide-brimmed bonnet. How she would miss her!
Mary caught sight of Papa. He was holding on to Zeke’s arm, his silver head lowered. “He looks so old, like he has aged ten years overnight. Family would always win over ships, Lizzie. No, ’tis Barney I love and he feels a calling to go to the New World. I must go. He is my family now, and his boys my sons.”
Reaching out to take Papa’s hand, she whispered in his ear, “This shall not be the last time we are together. Jeremy says that I can come back to visit—he shall be back and forth so often.” If only it were that easy.
She straightened. “I know I have said this a thousand times in the year past, but I want all of you to consider joining us when you can. I want you to see the New World’s beauty and abundance for yourself. More than that, I cannot bear to be apart from you.”
“I’m afraid I am too old for such a journey and I could never leave your mother. Who would bring her flowers? Nay, this is my place. This is where I will stay.” Papa looked back, away from the pier, to the gentle, heather-covered slopes, toward home.
Tears fell as she threw herself into his arms. “I shall miss you.”
“Aye, daughter, there now. Look what I have brought for you. The dolly that Mother made for you. She always made you happy and brought you comfort. Your place is with your husband now, but I wanted you to have something of your childhood. Where is he, by the by?”
Mary took the cloth dolly she had treasured as a little girl and held it close. Its curly yarn hair meant to match her own and the legless body covered with blue cloth and a red heart she had treasured since she was no bigger than Rachel. “He is on the ship. He wanted to see how they stored the casks. We shall have very little in the cabin itself, most of what we bring will be down on the ’tween deck. We shall keep the Bible his father gave him in the cabin, of course, and Jeremy says Barney should keep his old musket there.” She turned toward the ship.
Lilting laughter erupted from a small group of ladies as Barney strode up to them.
“What—? Mary, I thought you said he was on board.” Papa frowned.
“Tsk, I told you, little sister, to take things slowly. You never listen to me. Now he is dragging you across the ocean, away from your family, and look, he’s surrounded by fawning females. He needed time before settling down with one woman again. Men always wonder—” Lizzie stopped herself. “Prithee, forgive me. I should not put such notions in your head.”
Mary hugged the doll tighter. “Nay, he’s done on board. Most certainly those ladies are imposing on him. That always happens at the bakeshop. Remember how he loves to chat with the ladies? Nothing has changed. He still enjoys that. ’Tis nothing.”
Zeke moved closer to Mary. “No harm in old Barn saying goodbye to the ladies. He has been their baker for years.”
“How do you know they are not traveling as well?” Her sister’s frown matched Papa’s.
Barney turned, his eyes meeting Mary’s, then darting back to his audience. He made a slight bow of his head to Miss Patience Terry, and turned to join his wife and her family.
Extending his hand first to John, then to Zeke, he thanked them for coming to say goodbye. “This means so much to Mary and to me as well.” He wrapped his arm about her shoulders.
She leaned into him. He was by her side and that was what mattered. Everything would be all right. Would it not?
“Mary, I almost forgot,” Lizzie said. “The girls have something for you. Something we spent the last several months working on. Rachel, Ruth! Come at once.” Her thin voice floated over the din.
The girls gave up their chase of Ben and rushed to their mother’s side. Lizzie handed Mary a large basket. Inside she found a stack of carefully hemmed handkerchiefs. Delicate, embroidered red and purple roses decorated each. Layered between the handkerchiefs were sprigs of lavender. Mary held the scented cloth to her nose.
“We know it will be trying on the long voyage. I hope this will ease the stench you no doubt shall endure.”
“Oh, Rach, Ruthie . . . Lizzie. Thank you so very much. I am beyond words. What a thoughtful gift. I w
ill think of you every time I use these. The embroidery is exquisite. They are beautiful.” She looked to Barney and he nodded his approval.
Ben peered into the basket. “Mama, look underneath. Oranges.”
“Yes, there are a few oranges in the bottom and I made some sugared ginger. Perhaps it will help with the seasickness they say is such a problem.”
“How very generous of you and your family. Thank you again.” Barney gave Lizzie a hug.
“I pray thee to take good care of our Mary, Barnabas. I shall not be there to catch her, as I always have been.”
“Aye.”
John looked him straight in the eye. “I told you she is very strong, but she has a sweet and gentle heart as well. It makes her vulnerable.” His voice caught. “She will always desire to believe the best in you.”
“To be sure, Mary helps me to be a better man. I know that. You have my promise, John. I will take care of your daughter. And Elizabeth, it is now my turn to protect her and that I will do, with God’s help. Now stay a moment, my sweet, and let me go ahead to see to our cabin. Jeremy awaits me.” He kissed her forehead.
She watched as he trudged up the plank. He looked eager to begin their journey.
Her gaze followed Barney until he disappeared. “He is a good man and he needs me.” She gently put her doll in the basket with the handkerchiefs and oranges. “I shall send letters with Jeremy and tell you all about the colonies. And, I hope to soon have another grandchild for you, Papa.”
“I await that news eagerly, my girl. I shall miss you greatly, you know that, eh?” He pulled her to him.
“Papa, oh please do not cry. I do know that, and I shall miss you terribly.” She put her arms around him as his trembling arms wrapped about her shoulders.
Lizzie moved toward them, loud, anguished sobs escaping, and they brought her into the embrace. “I wish you could stay.”
Barney’s voice resonated above the milling crowd, calling the children to gather. Mary dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief as she broke away from Lizzie’s embrace and gathered her nieces and nephew to her.
A familiar elderly couple made their way toward them. Grandfather and Grandmother Horton pushed through the crowd. How sad they looked. How hard it must be to lose yet another son to that vast unknown. She joined her husband as he greeted them.
“Father, Mother—I worried you might not make it here before we embarked.” He gave the Horton bear hug to both parents at once, kissing his mother on both cheeks. He pulled back and shook his father’s hand.
Grandfather Horton held tight. He lifted his walking stick and pressed it into his hand. “This is for you, son. I have used it a good many years and it has helped me walk tall and straight. It’s yours now, to take to that New World.”
Barney turned the stick over in his hand, running his fingers over the ivory head. He traced his father’s initials, J.H., and looked from his father to his mother.
“Your mother gave it to me as a gift, one that I have treasured. She wants you to have it now, son. We both want you to have it.”
“Father, I shall always strive to live up to your example. Thank you, Mother. I know this is difficult, but you both have always shown me support, even when you disagreed.”
Grandmother Horton’s eyes were wet as she turned to Mary. “Jeremy will keep us in touch. Prithee, write to us often. You are a good wife to our son. You are always in our prayers.” Her words sounded broken, a reflection of her heart.
The grandparents bent to say farewell to Jay and Ben, a moment so tender and heart wrenching, Mary wondered if Barney could watch. He could not.
Grandfather Horton tucked a small, carved horse in each of the boys’ pockets and turned to embrace Mary. “You will take good care of them, I know.”
“This is difficult, but it is time to board. This does not have to be a final farewell. Lord be willing, we will all be together again. Come, Joseph, Benjamin, say your goodbyes and then we must take our leave.” Barnabas clapped his father on the back and gave his mother one last kiss.
The boys, with tearstained faces, hugged their step-cousins and kissed Aunt Lizzie goodbye. They grabbed Mary’s hands once more and turned toward the ship that would take them far, far away.
Mary’s heart ached and she felt she had no breath as they walked up to the ship. Walk. Just put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. You can do this. The Lord would help her do this. She squeezed Jay’s and Ben’s hands until they both looked up at her. She hoped her nod was reassuring.
Elizabeth stood with their father and watched her sister ascend the plank. She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief that matched the gift to her sister. As she leaned into Ezekiel, she caught notice of a young woman trailing behind an older couple as they were boarding the ship, reluctant to leave her girlfriends behind on the dock.
“Ezekiel. Isn’t that Miss Terry?”
14
The Swallow
Captain Jeremy Horton escorted Mary, Barney, and the boys to the roundhouse on the upper deck. He made the necessary introductions to First Officer Bennett and his wife, Mistress Bennett. “Barn, mayhap Joseph and Benjamin would enjoy inspecting the masts and sails, whilst I give the ladies a tour of the ship.” He turned to Mary. “Mistress Bennett will be disembarking before we set sail.”
Mary leaned toward the older woman. “Oh, truly? I was thinking how painful goodbyes are with my family, but to think you must say farewell to your husband.” A farewell was just that, to be sure—you prayed the other would fare well until you met once again. One did not know if that would be on earth or in heaven.
Her brother-in-law took his duties as shipmaster seriously, and she tried exceedingly hard to pay attention as he spoke of the fine merits of his ship. He took great measure to ensure the safety of his crew and passengers. If they arrived safely in the New World, and it was as wonderful as the adventurers claimed, perhaps someday he would bring her family across to join them. That would be her daily petition in prayer, but she would also work very hard to that end.
They arrived at the shipmaster’s cabin and Jeremy explained that it would be the Horton family’s quarters. Both ladies viewed the small, curtained berth. It would be bed for her, Barney, and both boys for the duration. Pity dripped from Mistress Bennett’s face.
Mary turned again to her brother-in-law. “I am sorry you shall not be able to use your cabin.”
“Nay, I will be fine. Someday I hope to have a wife myself, and then I won’t be eager to be so generous. But it’s only a small sacrifice to sleep on the officer’s deck for this voyage if it gives some comfort to you and my nephews. Come, I will show you the rest of the living quarters. It will give you some perspective when you think about comfort.” He gave a meaningful look to Mistress Bennett.
Descending to the ’tween deck, Mary’s breath caught. “People will actually live down here? For almost three months? How many are on board?”
Already masses of people filled the small, close space. A handful claimed the few bunks lining the edge of the deck. Most piled their bedding on the wooden floor. The air seemed warm and clammy from the sea of humanity, and the plank had not even been drawn.
She eyed the pails. Were they to be chamber pots for all of these people? Quickly she gave thanks for her cabin with its porcelain chamber pot, tucked inconspicuously into a corner.
“There are ten and hundred souls on board, counting crew. Some have paid good passage.” Jeremy took her arm and directed her up the steps behind Mistress Bennett. “A few will work off the cost of the voyage in the colonies. They are indentured to the Massachusetts Bay Company and have signed a contract. After five or so years of working for the company, the contract is returned, and the land they have built on is theirs. Conditions have been so poor here in England, they are willing to gamble on going to Massachusetts. But many seek to do God’s will as you and Barn do.”
As they climbed to the top deck, she scanned the people still crowding the dock. “Is New Engl
and really better? It sounds like a magical place someone has dreamt up.”
“Aye, it is. But ye know God is the Creator. He dreamt it up. Beautiful—I have seen it with my own eyes. Barnabas believes he and John Youngs’s followers will be caretakers of God’s gift. But ye know that.”
“I do, as Barney pointed it out to convince me. But only if we survive the journey. I’ve heard the stories of other ships and the families who have perished. If someone has boarded with the pox or measles, we could all die. If a storm comes up, the ship could sink. I like adventure, but this is not something I would choose for myself.” She grinned at her brother-in-law. “Do you think ’tis for love?”
“Certes.” He lowered his voice to a mutter. “Barn is a blockhead to not see it.” He picked up his pace to the main deck. “We are at God’s mercy, true. But my ship is sound.” He knocked on the rail. “I take immense care in maintaining it. You won’t have the comfort of home, but it will be bearable and safe, on my oath. I will be here for anything you will need. I wouldn’t take the risk with you and my nephews if I did not believe in the safety of my ship.”
Barney, with sons in hand, emerged from the crowd.
“Ah, and here he is. We will lift anchor soon, so I must make haste and go to the stern. Reverend Thomas Reeve will be delivering a sermon and then I will give the command to set sail.”
“Mama, the sails are so big.” Ben ran up to her. “We climbed the ropes. The topmen let us.”
She looked at Jeremy, then at her husband. “They climbed the ropes?”
“Not even half a rod, to be sure.” Barney grinned at his brother. “But at sea it will be forbidden.”
“Thank goodness.” She hugged Ben. “Oh, what fun. ’Tis exciting, is it not, to be on a big ship?”
A Place in His Heart Page 11