But that same little voice whispered, Not so fast. With the excitement now thundering through her entire body, it was impossible to remain confined to the tub. After drying off, she slipped into a pair of lounging pj’s.
Instead of crawling into bed, she made her way into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of almond iced tea, then headed back to her room, where she made herself comfortable on the chaise lounge. But she could hardly raise the glass to her lips, her hand was shaking so much.
She had forever been envious of other women for having what she perceived she could never have—a husband who loved her. Tonight Cutler had offered her himself. So should she…
Kaylee’s mind simply froze, unable to even contemplate such a thing. Yet the seed had been planted and she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
So what if she threw caution to the wind and went with her heart instead of her head? Which carried the most weight?
Her heart won hands down. And she knew why. She had fallen in love with Cutler McFarland. She couldn’t say the precise moment it had happened, but it had. So if she listened to that vital organ and said yes, what was the worst-case scenario? He would break her heart, and the marriage would end in divorce.
The best-case scenario, of course, was that their union would be a match made in heaven and they would live happily ever after.
Since there were no sure things in life, either way was a gamble.
And she was no gambler. Suddenly every cell in Kaylee’s body came alive with new awareness and anticipation. She wanted to see him. Now. For the moment nothing else seemed to matter—food, drink, sleep, or even her next breath—so long as she was with him.
Her heart was throbbing so painfully now that unconsciously she splayed a hand across her chest. She’d made her decision. May God help her if she’d made the wrong one.
“How did you get in here?”
Drew shrugged. “Walked.”
“Don’t you dare be flippant with me,” Mary snapped, feeling her heart plunge to her toes. “I told you never to come near me again.”
Mary watched Drew’s eyes as he stood in the doorway of her church office looking her up and down. She recoiled visibly. As he read her aversion to him, his features contorted. For a moment she feared he might strike her. But then her reason returned and she knew better.
Drew wasn’t an out-in-the-open kind of guy. He snuck in the back door, the coward’s entrance, to do his grievous deeds. Even though he was no believer, he wouldn’t do anything that might damage or sully his inflated reputation.
If there ever was a hypocrite, he was standing in front of her.
How in the name of God had she ever gotten involved with such a loathsome person? If she lived to be more than a hundred, Mary would never have the answer to that question. But then, the answer was no longer important. She had ripped that part of her life out of her soul and that was where it would stay.
“You should never have opened your mouth,” Drew said in a cold tone.
“If you don’t leave—”
“Shut up, bitch, and listen.”
Mary gasped. Yet she didn’t know why she was shocked at his behavior. He was a sociopath, and you never knew which way they would jump.
“If I signed over my rights to our son, you swore never to reveal the truth.”
“And I’ve kept that promise,” she said with as much dignity as she could muster, when she wanted to physically attack this man, rip his heart out and stomp on it as he had on hers so long ago.
He smirked. “And here I thought preachers weren’t supposed to lie.”
“I would rather be dead than have my son know he came from your loins.”
Drew closed the distance between them with his hand raised.
Mary didn’t so much as flinch, but said in a deadly tone, “If you ever touch me again, I’ll kill you.”
Drew stopped dead in his tracks, an incredulous expression on his face. Then he threw back his head and laughed. “I’ll have to hand it to you, you’ve grown some balls since I was between your legs.”
Mary forced herself not to react to those vile and inflammatory words, which was exactly what he wanted. He’d come there with the intention of starting World War Three, but she was having none of it.
“He knows,” Drew said into the heavy and hostile silence. “The cat’s out of the bag. He got in my face and demanded the truth.”
“You…you told him?” Mary was horrified.
“That you accused me of rape? I sure as hell did. But I also told him it was your word against mine.”
“You bastard,” she spat out, feeling a tight squeeze inside her chest. Oh, God, she couldn’t faint. Not now. Not in front of him.
“Me? You’re the one who opened your big mouth.”
“I did no such thing.”
“If you didn’t tell Cutler, then who did?”
“I have no idea,” Mary said in a cracked voice. But at least she was still upright and coherent. “Maybe you should look in your own backyard.”
“What about that do-good husband of yours?”
“He would die before he’d betray me.”
“For now, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. But if I find out you did indeed lie to me, I’ll be back.”
“And do what?”
He loomed over her, his mouth drawn back in a snarl. “I don’t think you want to know.”
“You’re as despicable as ever,” she lashed back, then was sorry. She hadn’t meant to lose her cool. In fact, she’d prided herself on how well she’d done. But there were limits to even her endurance.
The longer he stayed, the more repulsed she became, the more horrified at what this man had done to her.
“You had best restrain that son of yours.” He crept closer. “Keep him away from me, you hear?”
“I have no control over Cutler and what he does.”
Drew sneered. “Then you’re both in big trouble.”
Twenty-Eight
“You have a nice pad.”
“Think so?” Cutler asked.
“Yeah. It looks like you.”
He gave her a lopsided smile. “Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?”
“Depends.”
“Lady, you drive a hard bargain.”
“I’m just teasing,” Kaylee said with a slight catch in her voice. “It’s very tastefully decorated. I especially like the leather-and-fabric combo. And you have great taste in books and artwork.”
“I enjoy both.”
“Me, too. So that’s something we have in common.”
“Trust me,” Cutler responded, his gaze smoldering, “we have a lot more in common than that.” He cleared his throat, then went on, “Glad you like it. So that brings me to this question. Where would you rather live—your place or mine?” He grinned as he flicked her chin. “I vote for your place.”
Kaylee’s heart skipped a beat. “I haven’t said I’d marry you, Cutler.”
“You haven’t said you wouldn’t either.”
Kaylee sighed inwardly and gave him a pointed look that told him how exasperated she was. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m determined.”
“And cocky. And arrogant.” She smiled. “Shall I go on?”
He shrugged with a grin. “Hey, I warned you that I wasn’t giving up until you gave in.”
And he hadn’t. He’d wined and dined her for the past few days, and she’d loved every minute of it. Flowers, visits, heady kisses. But he hadn’t made love to her again. It was as though he was waiting for the right time. Perhaps this evening was just that.
He’d invited her to his place for steaks. He’d baked potatoes, made a salad and grilled the steaks on his grill. The entire meal had been delicious and she’d eaten more than she had in a long time.
Now they were in his living room enjoying a glass of Baileys Irish Cream over ice.
“Thank you for dinner,” she said in a husky voice, the heat from his body affecting
her breathing.
“You’re welcome.” Cutler’s tone was equally husky.
Over the rim of his cup their eyes met and held. For a second the world seemed to stand still. God, this man knew exactly what buttons to push without even knowing it.
“You’re about the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Her heart caught. “That’s not true, but I like hearing it.”
“I want you, Kaylee Benton, so much it hurts.”
She heard the break in his voice as he set his cup down, then reached for hers, prying it from her hand.
“Cutler—”
“Shush,” he said, pulling her against him and kissing her so hard and so deeply that all she could do was cling to him. When he raised his lips, he added, “Let me show you how much I need you, how much I want you.”
His kiss had torn down whatever resistance she might have had. When he touched her, she turned to putty and made no apologies for it.
“Come on.”
He helped her up and with his arms around her led her to the bedroom, where only a lamp burned in one corner, creating a soft, romantic glow. Without wasting time he wordlessly began undressing her, never taking his eyes off her.
Only when the last of her garments was tossed aside did she panic and place her hand across her chest and stomach, covering as much of her flesh as she could.
“It’s okay, my darling,” he said in a rusty-sounding voice. “You’re beautiful the way you are.”
“No…I’m not.”
Suddenly the thought of him seeing her imperfect body again freaked her out. He had to be repulsed by it. God, she was.
“Look at me, Kaylee.” His words were a plea.
She did.
“Do you see any pity in my eyes?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Have you ever seen pity?”
“No,” she repeated.
“That’s because there is none.”
“Do you feel sorry for me?”
“No, for chrissake.”
“Is that why you want to marry me?” she whispered, her throat pulsating painfully, rivaling the loud beat of her heart.
“God, no. How can I convince you of that?”
“Make love to me,” she said in an urgent voice.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Quickly discarding his clothes, he reached for her again. But she stopped him, her eyes roaming his body. “You’re beautiful.”
And he was—all muscle and brawn. With a long, swollen penis.
Her hand, as though it had a will of its own, shot out, then froze. She peered up at him through wide eyes.
“Touch me,” he pleaded in a gravelly voice. “Please.”
Her hand wrapped around the hard, throbbing flesh while heat boiled up inside her.
“Oh, God, Kaylee,” he rasped. “I can’t take much of that.”
He gently laid her on the bed and, starting at the bottom of her feet, with his tongue, began working his way to that secret center of her. Once there, he spread her legs and thrust his tongue into that moistness.
“Ohh,” Kaylee cried under the tender assault.
With his mouth and tongue on her, she wanted to believe this was really happening to her, yet she couldn’t.
Why was she so afraid?
Love hurt. She didn’t want to hurt ever again. But what she was experiencing at the moment was a different kind of pain. It was exquisite and all-consuming. It was love.
Once the orgasm slammed into her body, Cutler rose, slid himself inside her, then leaned over and sucked one nipple then the other, all the while moving in and out of her.
Feeling as if she was going to explode, Kaylee clutched at him, digging her nails in his back as if trying to pull him inside her. As the kiss deepened her nails moved to his buttocks, where they dug in to his muscled flesh.
He was so real, so alive.
Just as she was. For the first time in her life.
“God, Kaylee,” he muttered, emptying his seed in her at the same time she cried out, matching him stroke for stroke.
Later, wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, they lay spent and unmoving for the longest time.
Finally he smoothed her hair back from her temple and kissed her. “I can’t get enough of touching you.”
“Good,” she whispered.
“Do you want a big wedding?”
“I never said I’d marry you.”
“Maybe not with words, but with your heart.”
“Oh, Cutler,” she cried, “you win. I’ll marry you.”
His hot, sweet lips meshed with hers. “You won’t be sorry. I promise to honor and cherish you always.”
He didn’t say he would love her, but that was all right. For now she could settle for the others and be happy.
“And I you,” she whispered against his lips.
Edgar’s eyes filled with unshed tears.
“Oh, Daddy, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Kaylee wailed, crossing to him and giving him a big hug.
When he pulled away, he didn’t try to hide his emotions. Instead, he smiled through those tears and said, “I’m so happy for you, baby.” Then his smile faded. “But I want you to be happy.”
“How can I not be happy, Daddy? I’m in love.”
“That was always my hope and dream for you.”
“Well, it’s come true.”
“So what are the plans?”
“A simple ceremony, only family, performed by Cutler’s mother.”
“What about a honeymoon?”
Kaylee rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding. We’re both up to our eyeballs in work.”
“Ah, almighty work. Nothing must interfere with that.”
“Now, Daddy, don’t be sarcastic. Cutler has some big cases on the docket plus his reelection bid. And—”
Edgar snapped his fingers, interrupting her. “Guess that means I’m going to have to vote for the guy.”
“You’d better,” she said with a grin. “As I was saying, I have two big shows coming up. There’s no way I can be away.”
Edgar flicked her on the chin. “I’m okay with whatever, as long as you’re happy.”
“Well, I’m happy,” she responded, feeling her own eyes well up with tears.
“Do we have a date for the joyous event?”
“Next weekend.”
Edgar’s eyes widened. “That soon? All right.”
“After the ceremony, we’re going to party at the country club. Cutler’s taking care of all the arrangements.”
“Oh, baby, things couldn’t have worked out better.”
Kaylee poked him in the chest. “Now maybe you can live your life instead of mine.”
He frowned. “Should I take offense at that?”
She grinned, rose on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Absolutely not. No one could ask for a more devoted father. Know that I adore you.”
“Have you told Drew?”
Kaylee noticed the pensive shadow that replaced the animation on Edgar’s face and commented on it. “Will that be a problem? Telling Drew, I mean?”
“No, not at all,” he said quickly. “It’s just that, like me, he’s always been so protective of you.”
“He’ll be proud, I know.” She smiled. “Cutler’s quite a catch.”
“That he is, my dear,” Edgar said in a faraway tone. “That he is.”
That conversation had taken place the day after she’d accepted Cutler’s proposal. He had gone to see his mother at the same time and reported back that she’d been overjoyed, as well.
The next stop on her list had been her godfather. And while Kaylee hadn’t been able to pinpoint what was going on behind Drew’s eyes, the result was that she’d left feeling as though he was genuinely happy for her.
“You swore you’d never marry, my dear,” he said over a piece of cheesecake and coffee at a bakery near her office.
“That’s because I never thought anyone would want to mar
ry me.”
“I’m proud someone was able to prove otherwise.”
“Me, too.”
He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then shut it.
“What’s on your mind, Uncle Drew? Surely you approve. You of all people should know what a catch Cutler is.”
He averted his gaze. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Oh, I plan on it. But I want your good wishes and your blessings. You know how I feel about you.”
“Well, honey, you have both.” Drew paused and cleared his throat. “Always know that whatever happens, I love you like you’re my own.”
“And I love you, too.”
“I’ve failed at a lot of things in my life, Kaylee. Done a lot of things I’m not proud of.”
“We all have, Uncle Drew.”
“The one thing I’m most proud of is you and your contribution to my life. If sugar ever turns to shit, promise me you’ll remember that.”
Kaylee narrowed her eyes on him. “That’s a strange thing to say, but then you’ve always been one to follow the beat of your own drum.” She smiled. “Trite as that might sound.”
Now, as Kaylee pulled her mind back to the moment at hand, she made a face, especially after looking at the stack of work on her desk. Getting ready for a style show and a wedding, simple though the latter might be, proved a daunting task. Yet she was up for the challenge; actually, she was up for anything, as her feet were barely touching the ground.
The phone rang beside her. Absently she picked up the receiver.
“Hey.”
The sound of that husky voice never failed to send chills up her spine. “Hey, yourself.”
“Want to grab a bite of lunch?”
“I’m sorry, no can do. I’m up to my eyeballs this morning.”
Cutler chuckled. “So am I.”
“You were hoping I’d play hooky and make it easier for you to do the same.”
“That’s right.” He paused, lowering his voice. “See you this evening at my place.”
“This evening,” she murmured with a catch.
He chuckled again, then hung up.
Kaylee didn’t know how long she sat there, her heart dancing with anticipation and excitement. Then she sobered. Was she living in a dream world? More so, was she making the biggest mistake of her life? Because she was head over heels in love, she was willing to take the gamble; yet in the secret part of her soul she wanted to believe Cutler felt the same about her.
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