If not, then…
“Yo,” Sandy said, flouncing into her office. “Got a moment? No, make that lots of moments. I have tons to go over with you.”
“Before we get down to business,” Kaylee responded, “I have something to tell you. Have a seat.”
Sandy’s eyebrows shot up. “Mmm, sounds serious.”
“It is.”
“You found more drugs?”
Kaylee pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, thank heavens. I hate to admit this, but I’ve put that on the back burner of my mind.”
“It’s not an easy thing to deal with, I know. Don’t let it go too long.”
“I won’t,” Kaylee said with a sigh. “Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow.”
Sandy nodded, then said, “So what’s up?”
“Something good, actually.”
“Ah, I could stand that.”
Kaylee leaned her head sideways. “I’m getting married.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m getting married,” Kaylee repeated.
Sandy jumped up and shouted, “Halle-damn-lujah!”
Twenty-Nine
His breath was warm and minty as he rained kisses over her cheek and neck.
“Mmm,” she moaned before reaching behind her and circling his neck with her arm. “You’re about to get something started you can’t finish.”
“Think so, huh?” Cutler kept on nibbling.
“I definitely think so,” she said, breathing rapidly.
“Why don’t we stay home, forget about going to the shindig?”
Kaylee peered up at him. “You know you can’t do that, since this is a campaign dinner.”
He straightened with a deep sigh. “I know, but damn, it’s tempting, especially the way you look in that garb.”
“Excuse me, Mr. McFarland, this is no garb. It’s a designer gown.” Kaylee smiled. “Do I sound like a snob, or what?”
“Whatever. While you look like packaged dynamite in it, you’d look a hell of a lot better out of it.”
She flashed him a saucy grin. “You’re bad.”
“Oh, baby, but when I’m bad, I’m good.”
Kaylee grinned, then slapped playfully at his hand that now rested on the creamy flesh spilling over the top of her sequined gown. “I think you’re getting too big for your britches.”
“We can remedy that, too.” He stroked the overflow of the other breast. “I can take my britches off.”
“You’re impossible.”
“You’re perfect.”
With a full heart she stood and went into his arms. He held her for the longest time. “What’s perfect is our life together,” she finally said. “You’ve made me so happy.”
And he had. They had been married for a week, but that week had been heaven on earth.
“I feel the same way, my darling.” Cutler stepped away. “I just wish we had more time together.”
“We have our evenings.”
“That’s not enough.”
She smiled. “For now, it’ll have to be. We’ve both got so much going.”
“I’ll be damn glad when the election’s over.”
“What about those two cases?”
“Those, too, of course. The one where the woman killed her kids is about to end, thank God. But I still feel like I’m chasing my tail.” He grinned. “Now, if it was your lovely tail I was chasing, I wouldn’t be complaining at all.”
Kaylee elbowed him in the ribs. “I think I’ve married a pervert.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
Kaylee watched him, feeling a warm glow settle over her. Yes, marrying him even under less than ideal circumstances had definitely been the right thing to do. Not only was he a wonderful lover, both savage and sweet, but he was a gentle man, as well.
Until he was crossed, that is.
She’d seen that rough, dark side of him in the courtroom. There he turned into a pit bull, which worked both to his advantage and disadvantage.
“My, but you’re looking serious all of a sudden, Mrs. McFarland.” Cutler’s eyes were questioning.
“I was thinking about your behavior in the courtroom.”
He seemed taken aback. “What about it?”
“You take on a totally different personality, become a different person.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No. Not as long as you don’t try it on me.” She tried to keep her voice light, but knew that she had failed.
He frowned, and his eyes darkened. “I promised you I’d never hurt you and I meant it.”
“I know,” she whispered, looking away.
“Hey.” He gently turned her face back to him. “What’s going on? Really? A few moments ago you were as bright as a patch of sunshine. Now, you appear upset. Did I say something?”
“No, silly. It’s just that when I think of that dark side, it kind of unsettles me.”
“Then don’t think about it. Anyway, it’s my courtroom persona.”
“Actually, I saw traces of it at the reception.”
His brows shot up and he looked suddenly wary. “Oh?”
“Your demeanor toward Drew.”
A shadow fell over his face at the same time his jaw tensed. Ah, she had indeed struck a nerve.
“What about it?” he asked in a nonchalant tone.
He hadn’t fooled her. She knew he was anything but nonchalant. She called his hand. “I sensed you don’t care for him.”
“I don’t know him.”
“Please don’t insult me, Cutler,” she said softly. “I’m much more intuitive than you’re apparently giving me credit for.”
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
“Only because you’re trying to hide something.” She meant her bluntness to strike another nerve, and it did. He looked both guilty and irritated.
“Did Drew take a heavy hand concerning me?” She smiled. “He’s a bit overly protective, I know, and often comes on strong. But he doesn’t mean any harm.”
“You don’t know him at all.”
Taken aback by the bitterness she heard in his voice, Kaylee gasped. “I beg to differ with you about that. I’ve known him all my life.”
“I don’t want to discuss Drew Rush.” Cutler’s tone was cold and clipped. “Not now. Not ever.”
“Well, I do,” she countered, not bothering to hide her own irritation.
For a few minutes they glared at each other. It dawned on her that they were having their first disagreement—argument, if you will—as a married couple. And while she hated that, she refused to back down.
Cutler spoke her thoughts. “I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Since you know how I feel about Drew and how important he is in my life, I think you owe me an explanation as to why you have your stinger out for him.”
“Now’s not the time to discuss this, Kaylee.”
She dug her heels in. “Maybe not. But since the subject is opened, we might as well discuss it.”
“Okay, you asked for it.” If possible, his tone turned colder and more clipped.
Her eyes widened. “You’re scaring me, Cutler.”
“This is your party, Kaylee.”
The atmosphere turned more tense.
“I’m listening.”
His gaze slid away. “Did you know Drew had a son?”
“No.” If she sounded shocked it was because she was.
Cutler turned to her once again, his features taut. “Well, he does.”
“So he has a son. What does that have to do with anything?”
For what seemed like the longest time, Cutler looked at her with the strangest expression on his face. Her anxiety increased.
“Cutler, for heaven’s sake, where are you going with this?”
“Drew is my biological father.”
Kaylee felt her jaw drop, while a wave of emotion flooded through her. The room spun. She felt Cutler grasp her arm and lead her back to the vanity
stool.
“I’m…fine,” she said, struggling for her next breath.
“Yeah, right.”
But once she was sitting, Cutler stepped back, rammed his hands into the pockets of his tux and stared at her through smoldering eyes.
“How…I mean…I—I don’t understand,” she stammered, peering up at him.
“I’m sure you don’t.”
“But how can that be? I mean it can’t be.”
Cutler blew out his breath, then said in a flat, harsh tone, “It can be because it is.”
“How long have you known?”
“A while.”
“Were you going to tell me?”
“Yes, only not tonight.”
“I feel like I’ve been hit on the head with a baseball bat,” Kaylee admitted with a tremor.
“I know the feeling.”
“How did you find out?” Even though she was still reeling from stunned disbelief, she had managed to retain enough brainpower to press for the rest of the story, although it was apparent that Cutler was reluctant to share it.
“By accident.”
“What about Trevor?”
“He adopted me right after I was born.”
Kaylee pressed a hand to her chest hoping to halt her racing heart. “Your mother and Drew—” Her voice broke and she couldn’t go on.
“Pretty disgusting thought, isn’t it?”
“Yes and no.” She took an unsteady breath. “I know Uncle Drew so well, but not your mother. Still, I would never have put those two together.”
“They weren’t together,” he said with increased bitterness.
“God, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”
“Like my underpinnings have been jerked out from under me.”
She went to him and put her arms around him. At first he stood unresponsive, like a block of wood, but then he loosened up and gave her a brief hug before pushing her to arm’s length.
“There’s more,” he said, looking down at her through anguished eyes.
She felt so bad for him. What a blow to find out the man you thought was your father wasn’t. It didn’t matter how he found out, or even who told him.
“More?” Kaylee barely got the word through her frozen lips.
“It has to do with Drew.”
“Uncle Drew?” she asked inanely, her mind still reeling.
Cutler swore under his breath, then lashed out, “Would you stop calling him that?”
Kaylee gave him an astonished look but didn’t say anything. Frankly, she didn’t know how to respond. She wanted to comfort him, not fight with him.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Didn’t mean to bark at you.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t.”
She didn’t want to argue about that either, so again she refrained from saying anything. Right now she just needed to be a good listener, let him release his pain in the way he saw fit. It was obvious he was hurting badly.
She knew how that felt, too. Although the circumstances were vastly different, she had traveled down one of life’s painful and wounding paths. Taking a major blow, mental or physical, did something to the psyche.
And even though Cutler was strong and proud, he was human.
“What were you going to tell me about Un…about Drew?” Kaylee asked at last.
“My office is investigating him.”
Kaylee gave him an incredulous look. “That’s crazy.”
“It’s a fact.” Cutler’s voice was tight.
“Well, that’s wrong,” she snapped. “You’re wrong.”
“Hey, I’m not responsible for the investigation. Major Crimes was already on it when they brought me into the loop.”
“You can tell them to halt the investigation.”
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do that.”
“You have to,” she said, hearing her voice rise. “The charges have to be trumped-up. Drew would never do anything illegal.”
“You can’t know that, Kaylee, nor can I.”
“I know him,” she said fiercely, “and you don’t.”
He let out a weary sigh. “Let’s drop the subject, okay?” His eyes pointedly dipped to his watch. “We have to go or we will be late.”
Tightening her lips so as not to snap at him again, Kaylee reached for her bag and wrap. But the joy had gone out of the evening.
For both of them.
Thirty
“Hey, what a nice surprise.”
Mary McFarland gave her son a weak smile as she walked through the door to his office. “I hope it’s okay if I just barge in.”
He made a face. “Of course it’s all right. Since when do you have to have an appointment to see me?”
“Since you’re up to your neck in work and almost never in your office.”
“Okay, you’ve made your point.” Cutler smiled, walked around his desk, gave her a hug, then pulled back and looked at her. “How are you doing? Really?”
“Fine.” Mary stepped back and sat down.
Cutler, watching her carefully, took a seat in an adjacent chair, certain she wasn’t fine. But then neither was he. Since he’d dropped his bombshell about Drew, nothing had been the same. Nor would it be. He just hoped the gaping hole in their relationship could one day be stitched back together.
Right now he wasn’t sure about that.
“Are you happy, son?”
“Yes, I am.”
“You sound surprised. That you’re happy, I mean.”
Cutler averted his gaze, reminding himself just how intuitive she was when it came to him. She might not be able to read him like a book, but she sure could read between the lines of his mind. He couldn’t allow even that. It was too dangerous.
And unlike her, he hated secrets. Unfortunately, he’d go to the grave with his.
“Cutler?”
“I am a little, I’ll admit.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “You know how I’ve always felt about marriage.”
“That’s why I’m still shocked that you took the plunge. And so suddenly, too.”
“Like I told you before the ceremony, Kaylee was such a catch, I couldn’t take a chance on someone else getting her.”
“What about love?”
He ignored the note of chastisement in her tone and said, “What about it?” Careful, McFarland, you’re close to that slippery slope. You don’t want to take a fall.
“You never said you loved her.”
“What is this, Mother, an inquisition?” Now his tone was chastising.
She flushed. “No, and I’m sorry. When I came here, I had no intention of grilling you about your feelings for Kaylee. That’s your business.” She flashed him a deep and genuine smile. “But I can see how you’re smitten. To know her is to adore her.”
Cutler answered her smile. “I’m so glad you feel that way. She’s one special lady.”
Mary shook a finger at him. “You’d best remember that, too. Or you’ll have to answer to me, young man.”
“Gotcha.”
Her smile disappeared as she reached across and took his hand in hers, then peered into his eyes. “I’m here about you.”
Cutler knew what was coming, and he didn’t want to discuss the past, not today, not after his verbal skirmish with Kaylee last evening. He still felt raw from that, especially since there was now a wedge between them. So far he hadn’t come up with a way to repair the damage.
“Don’t get that shuttered look on your face,” Mary said in a soft but firm voice.
“Mom, please.”
“And don’t call me Mom in that patronizing tone either.”
Cutler grimaced, holding up his hands in defeat. “The floor’s yours. Go for it.”
“By the way, am I interfering with your schedule?”
“I can give you another fifteen minutes or so, then I’m due in court.”
“Fair enough.”
“Want some coffee?”
“No, your dad and I drank a po
t before I left.”
Cutler nodded as he leaned back in the chair, crossed one leg over a knee and raised his brows.
“I’m guessing you told Kaylee who Drew is.”
“I had no choice.”
“How did she take it?”
“At first she was stunned, then she got upset, especially when I told her our office was investigating him for illegal business practices.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Mary’s features tightened. “Underneath that charming facade is an evil man.”
“I know that, Mother, but she doesn’t. She’s never seen that side of him.”
“Oh, God, Cutler, I’d give anything if you had never found out the truth.” She paused and sucked in a breath. “That’s terribly selfish of me, isn’t it?”
“It’s moot because I know the truth.”
“I’ve always admired your ability to go forward and not look back.”
Only not this time, Cutler told himself. He hadn’t changed his mind. Drew would pay for the sins, which meant he, too, would have to wallow in the past. Like it or not.
“Drew can hurt you, son.”
“Don’t worry. I can take care of myself.”
“He came to see me.”
“That bastard,” Cutler spat out, lunging up and pacing the floor.
“Calm down. Please,” Mary said in a pleading tone. “You would’ve been proud of me. I held my own with him.”
He gave her a gentle smile. “That doesn’t surprise me. You were always made of the right stuff and I’m proud to be your son.”
“Then let Drew be, Cutler. You’ll only hurt yourself if you have anything to do with him. Don’t make me beg. Please.”
“He raped you, for God’s sake.”
Mary’s face drained of color at the same time her hand flew to her chest.
“Dammit, Mother, don’t you dare pass out on me.”
“I’m not,” she said, her voice holding a tremor. “It’s just that you’re so hardheaded, so stubborn.”
“And you’re not?”
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