Heritage
Page 9
Emma’s smile tightened. “I don’t know what that is, dear.”
“Native American. What you would call an Indian.”
Emma’s countenance fell as though she’d just been insulted. “That can’t be. You look so European.”
People saw what they wanted to see. “I am the very thing you and your family loathe.” They would never truly accept her. She knew that now, and Emma was about to prove it.
Emma stared at her a moment, then collected her coat and left.
The act spelled the end of her connection with the Winstons. As Rachel thought about all the implications of that, she realized she felt more relieved than disappointed. No more acting perfect, wondering when they would find out she had flaws. In her twenty-five years she had learned that everyone had flaws. Some people were simply more adept at hiding them.
Twelve
Will had returned early from winter break, arriving two days after Christmas. He hated the idea of Rachel being alone in her house with no one she could call who could come in a hurry. But she hadn’t been there. She had really left the island as she said she was going to.
Now, two days before New Year’s Eve, she was back. He’d been contemplating for the last two hours, since she stepped off a taxi sleigh, whether or not to go over and welcome her home. She might not be too happy to see him after their last encounter on the dock. Then again, there was nothing wrong with a neighbor greeting another neighbor. He put on his coat and trudged through the snow across the street.
He took a deep breath before she opened the door so he could get his hello out before she closed the door in his face. “I just wanted to welcome you back.” He held up both his hands in front of himself. “I promise, I’m here only as a friend.”
She opened the door wider. “Come in out of the cold.”
He unzipped his coat but left it on. “I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me.”
“Why?”
“The last time I saw you it didn’t go so well.”
She grimaced. “That was a bad day.” She held out her hands to him. “Can I take your coat?”
This was a good thing, a very good thing. He handed it to her, then, while her back was turned, he allowed himself to break into a big smile.
“I just heated water. Would you like some tea or cocoa?”
“Cocoa would be great.”
“Have a seat.” She went to the kitchen and returned a minute later, handing him a mug. She tucked one foot under her and sat on the other end of the couch from him. “I wanted to thank you for the Bible.”
He opened his mouth to protest but stopped when she held up her hand. “Before you try to deny it again, I have proof.” She set her tea on the coffee table and handed him the Bible, opening it to where he’d stuck the sticky note at the beginning of John. That wasn’t proof.
She unfolded a piece of paper and laid it on top of the open Bible. “It’s the same handwriting.” It was the paper he’d written the contact information for Twin Bear’s family.
He knew he should have typed it. Busted. He had to smile. “So did you read any of it?”
“I did.” She picked up her tea mug and took a sip.
“And.”
“What I don’t understand is why an all-powerful God would send His only Son to die for a world that really doesn’t like Him?”
Questions were good. They showed interest. “Because He loves us that much, even though we don’t deserve it.”
“It still doesn’t make sense. No one would make that kind of sacrifice.”
“Exactly. No human would, but God would. He has done everything to save us. Becoming a Christian is to be adopted into God’s family. In biblical times, adoption was permanent. You could disown a biological child but not an adopted one. All we have to do is believe, accept his Son as our savior.”
“I guess.”
He waited. “So?”
“So what?”
She was ready. He could feel it. “Do you want me to pray with you to become a Christian?”
“I don’t think so.”
He almost let his jaw fall open but caught himself before it did. “But you are so ready.”
“Obviously not.”
“But. . .but. . .” He sounded like an idiot. “What if something happens to you tonight, heaven forbid, and you die before you have another chance to accept Jesus as your savior and go to heaven? The alternative is not pretty.”
“What could possibly happen to me on this quiet little island tonight?”
“I don’t know. You could be plugging in your toaster and get electrocuted.”
“I don’t eat toast. And if I did, I’d make sure to not have any tonight.”
“You could have a heart attack or seizure.”
“I’m perfectly healthy.”
“Your house could burn down.”
“Or a tidal wave could come or a meteor might land on me. I’ll be fine for the night.”
He hoped so.
Will returned home and went to bed, but he got up again at one fifteen and paced around his house.
Lord, please protect Rachel. Don’t let anything bad happen to her tonight. Give me another chance to get through to her.
Not settled enough to go back to bed, he knelt beside his bed. This was becoming a habit, being on his knees. Lord, please bring her to You, even if she never speaks to me again. She’ll talk to me in heaven.
❧
Rachel flipped over once again in her bed and fluffed her pillow. She kept hearing Will’s words. What if something happens to you? Finally, she succumbed to sleep.
At one thirty, she woke with a start. Was that smoke she smelled? She was sure it was and clicked on her light and walked through the house. Nothing appeared to be on fire, and now she couldn’t smell anything. She could swear she had smelled smoke.
She climbed back into bed but just sat there trying to smell the smoke again. What if there was a fire in the walls? Who knows how old this house was? The wiring could go bad, and she would never know it until it was too late.
Your house could catch on fire.
The words echoing in her head startled her, and she pulled her knees up to her chest.
God, I don’t want something to happen to me and not go to heaven. I’m afraid to wait a moment longer. It’s way too late to call Will for help, so I’m calling You. You’re still up, right? What do I do?
I know I’m not perfect and I do wrong things all the time, but You say You love me anyway. I know You sent Your Son Jesus to die because of my wrong things. Please make me a Christian like Will.
A peace and warmth and love washed over her. She couldn’t keep from grinning. Was that it, Lord? Did I do it?
She snuggled back down in her covers with a sigh and drifted right back to sleep.
❧
The next day giddiness bubbled up inside her. She couldn’t ever remember being this happy and couldn’t wait for Will to come over. What time did he get up anyway? Could she wait that long? His drapes were still shut. If she didn’t tell someone, she would burst. She had awoken early, yet more rested than she could ever remember. Considering her middle- of-the-night house-roamings in search of a phantom fire, this surprised her.
An hour later, Will arrived to help her sort through the papers again. He made sure to let her know, once again, he was over as “just a friend.”
He stood in the office next to a box, staring up at her blank wall and rubbed his hands together. “Your wall is kind of bare. Let’s do something about that.”
She’d been excited to tell him about last night, but now she wasn’t sure what had happened. Had anything? What if it was all just a dream or hoax?
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?” She focused her gaze on him.
Will’s brown eyes were searching her face. “You have a funny expression.”
“I was just wondering what exactly do you have to pray to become a Christian?”
“I was hoping you’d be open to this d
iscussion. There isn’t an exact prayer, but you have to admit you are a sinner. . .”
She’d done that.
“. . .acknowledge Jesus is the Son of God. . .”
She’d done that, too. An excitement bubbled up inside her.
“. . .and that He died for your sins.”
And that, too! “Is that all?”
“Basically. If you have any other questions, I’d be happy to answer them the best that I can. If not, would you like me to pray with you? Sometimes that’s easier.”
She could feel her mouth spread into a wide grin. “No need. I did all that last night.”
His eyes widened. “Really.”
She nodded emphatically.
“That’s fantastic.” He reached over and gave her a big congratulatory hug.
She pulled back after a moment, but he kept his arms around her and looked deep into her eyes. Something was passing between them. But what? He cleared his throat. “Still friends?”
She felt that was best for now and nodded. He stepped away from her. An awkwardness settled between them.
Maybe she could dispel it with a little conversation. “It was the weirdest thing. I woke up at one thirty with a start as if someone had shaken me out of my sleep, and I could smell smoke. Remember what you said about my house catching fire? I could have sworn I smelled smoke, but when I looked around the house I couldn’t find any trace of fire, and I could no longer smell the smoke. I was afraid to die and not go to heaven, so I asked God to save me.”
His smile grew as she told her story.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Prayer works.”
“Pardon?” The earlier awkwardness was gone.
“I crawled out of bed about one fifteen and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got down on my knees and was praying for you. I’m afraid the smoke smell might have been my fault, though I didn’t specifically pray for smoke.”
“Are you saying it was somehow God or something?”
“If I had to bet on God or on the something, I’d go with God. It is no coincidence that I was praying for you at the same time you smelled smoke and prayed for salvation. It was almost two o’clock when I felt at peace and was able to go back to sleep. What time did you go back to bed?”
This was really weird. She opened her mouth, but the words caught in her throat. She cleared it. “About two o’clock.”
“I’d definitely go with God. He does work in mysterious ways.”
“So what do I do now?”
“Church is always a great place to start. Read little bits of your Bible every day and pray.”
“What if I don’t understand something? Can I ask you?”
“Of course. But you don’t have to wait for me. If you don’t understand something, ask God to reveal it to you. He’ll help you. He wants you to understand His Word. That is why He has made sure it has survived for thousands of years.”
“Should I just start at the beginning? What you had me read was way past the middle.”
“You can start anywhere you want, but the New Testament is usually easier for most young Christians to understand.”
She wanted to learn everything God had to say right now.
“So what you said last night about being part of God’s family. Am I part of that family now?”
“Definitely. Now and forever.”
Thirteen
“I’m almost ready,” Rachel said as she pushed her feet into her black snow boots.
He just liked watching her, being around her. Was her becoming a Christian his cue to move forward, beyond friendship, into a romantic relationship with her? He wanted to, but something was still holding him back. He wasn’t sure she was ready for that step. He took her coat off the tree rack and held it for her.
She slipped her arms into it. “Don’t you think it’s odd that Lori and Garth invited us over together?”
“Maybe.” It was a bit strange. Both Lori and Garth knew they weren’t a “couple.” They didn’t even know Rachel had become a Christian.
As far as he knew, Garth and Lori had only just gotten back from winter break earlier today, and he and Garth would be going back to work tomorrow. Garth was insistent they come tonight. It couldn’t wait. What couldn’t wait until tomorrow? And why did Rachel have to come as well? He was glad she was coming. He liked being with her. He would take any excuse.
They stepped out into the cold night air. Light snow drifted from the sky. He would likely find an inch or two by morning for his trip to school.
“Brr. It’s cold out here.” Rachel hunched her shoulders.
He wanted to put his arm around her but shoved his hands deep into his pockets instead. They were just friends. . .for now. “It’s supposed to get colder as the week wears on.”
“It’s not cold enough already?” Rachel pushed her hands deeper into her coat pockets. “What do you think this is about tonight?”
“I don’t know. Garth just said they had a surprise.”
“Do you think they are going to announce that they are pregnant?”
“Uh, Rachel. It’s best if you don’t bring that up. It’s a sensitive topic for Lori. Garth told me that she was in a serious car accident as a kid and can’t have children.”
“That’s so sad. Is Garth okay with that?”
“Sure. He’s so crazy about her, she could have third eye and it would be fine with him.”
She chuckled.
“He says that they will just spend their whole lives being on their honeymoon.”
She looked at him sideways. “What about you? Do you want to have kids some day?”
He held his breath for a moment. Why was she asking him about kids? Was she searching for a specific answer? He swallowed hard. “Sure. I guess so.” He turned toward her. “But I don’t have to.” Noncommittal, he could go either way that way. “What about you? You want kids?”
“I’m not sure. My childhood was a little battered. I don’t know if I’d want to put a child through that. It doesn’t seem fair just to satisfy some internal desire.”
“Not all childhoods have to be battered.” Arriving at Garth and Lori’s door cut the topic short for better or for worse.
Before he could knock, Garth swung the door open and called, “They’re here.”
He still had to wonder what this was all about. Rachel had been right that this was unusual. Garth had a grin bigger than he’d ever seen. Then Garth stood between him and Rachel and draped an arm over each of their shoulders. “We want you two to be the first on the island to meet our children.”
Lori walked out of one of the bedrooms with her arms around two redheaded children. The boy about seven and the girl looked to be three or four.
Garth pointed. “That’s Michael, and that’s Lindy. Short for Melinda.”
Lindy turned and held her arms up to Lori who picked her up. “She’s a little shy.”
Garth went over and scooped up Michael.
Later, when Will had a moment alone with Garth, he asked, “Are they really yours?”
Garth glanced over at his wife and new children. “They sure are.”
Seeing the pride on Garth’s face pulled at his own paternal instinct. An instinct he didn’t think he had. “How? Where did they come from?”
“Their parents were killed in a car accident. We knew about this before the break, but Lori wanted to keep it to ourselves in case things didn’t work out. We met them over Thanksgiving. That’s why Lori didn’t come back with me.”
Rachel was talking to Lori who again held Lindy. Did those kids do anything to Rachel like they were doing to him? He suddenly realized that what he said earlier was in error. He definitely wanted children. Would Rachel change her heart as well?
When he was walking her home, he decided to bring up the topic of children again. “Michael and Lindy sure were cute.”
“They were. But then other people’s children usually are.”
“They didn’t make you want to have your own
children?”
“I don’t think I’d make a good mom.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t see juggling a modeling career and motherhood as being compatible.”
“You could always take some time off.”
“I suppose. Fortunately it is not something I have to think about right now.”
He wanted to ask her if she had planned to have children with her ex after they were married, but they arrived at her door. He should just let it go for now.
Rachel stood inside the doorway. “Do you want to come in for a little while?”
Though it was still early, he shook his head. “I need to get ready for work tomorrow.” And he had some thinking to do.
He stood in his darkened living room looking across the street at Rachel’s house. If he wanted children and she didn’t, was there any point in pursuing a relationship that might eventually end because of different goals for their lives? He could save himself a lot of heartache if he just ended it now. But how? He’d tried to forget about her before when he’d found out she was engaged. Besides, his heart was too far gone to save him emotional heartache.
He let his thoughts drift into the future. What if he ended up with Rachel and no children? Could he be content, as Garth had been, simply to spend his life as a honeymooner without children? Or would he rather end up with someone else and have children? He shook his head. Who else? In his twenty-eight years, no one had ever touched his heart the way Rachel had done. And she wasn’t even trying. He might very well end up as a bachelor the rest of his life, like Dancing Turtle. He’d have his students at school, but he’d always come home alone to an empty house.
Lord, If I am to pursue a relationship with Rachel, make it clear to me. Help me to determine Your will and accept it, whatever it may be.
Fourteen
A week and a half later, Rachel again sat on the floor of her office, an open box between her and Will. They never made much progress, but she enjoyed his company. She should really pack for leaving for Europe tomorrow. She didn’t need much, though, and could just throw some stuff into a suitcase.