by Olive East
The chatter was mostly carried by Alan. He was kind enough to bring up things I could talk about like art, local colleges, and movies, until he unexpectedly left, with his plate only half eaten, to make a phone call. Neither Gwendolyn nor Brooks questioned it, so I assumed it was a common occurrence.
“More water, Ollie?” Gwendolyn asked with pitcher in hand.
“Yes, please,” I answered, trying to hide my surprise at her kind tone.
“Tell me how you two met,” she requested. Her tenor was soft and interested, like she was suddenly a different person.
Brooks and I both laughed, then Brooks went on to tell the story.
“Ollie is…friends with my neighbor across the street. I saw her leaving the house late one night while I was walking Boden and her beauty struck me, hard, in that moment. She looked so cold and contemplative, and I swore to myself that that was the night I’d finally talk to her.”
He took my hand in his, and until he did I hadn’t even realized that I turned completely in my chair to face him. I’d never heard him tell the story; I’d never even thought about what his side of the story would sound like.
“You’d seen me before?” I asked, forgetting his mom was right there.
“Of course I have.” He laughed. “You were always over there. I just never got up the nerve to talk to you until that night.”
There was no way that was possible. I would’ve noticed a man like Brooks, especially if he was noticing me.
“You should’ve just talked to me,” I said while squeezing his hand. I couldn’t believe I had been missing out on him.
“Well, when that piece of paper fell from your jeans, I finally had a valid reason to approach you.”
The mention of the paper made my breath catch. A quick glance in Gwendolyn’s direction revealed a real smile. It wasn’t megawatt, but it was authentic and that meant a lot.
“Go on,” she encouraged.
“So, I talked to her. We didn’t introduce ourselves, I came across as a stalker, and I thought I blew it. But next thing I knew, she showed up in my front yard and that was that. We’ve been together ever since.”
Not being able to help it, I took his face in my hands and kissed him square on the lips. I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who had an adorable “how we met” story, but there it was. It sounded so sweet and awkward from his perspective and it was one hundred percent perfect.
“That’s so lovely,” Gwenny said in earnest. “You two just seem made for each other.”
“We are, Mom,” Brooks told her while I wondered if she was trashed and had no idea what she was saying. How could she be so hot and cold?
“Not like some of the other girls I’ve seen come through this house.”
“Mom,” Brooks barked. “No need to bring it up.”
He flashed me a panicky glance. It was obvious she was making him uncomfortable, but admittedly I relished the tables being turned. For once I wasn’t the one with the embarrassing mother.
“All I’m saying is, you don’t always choose the best dates. Present company excluded, Ollie.”
“Thank you,” I told her, then chugged my water in triumph.
“Yeah, okay,” Brooks said, fidgeting in his seat.
Man, I loved seeing this side of him, but I had a more pressing issue to attend to.
“I’m going to have to excuse myself,” I said, trying to sound as distinguished as possible while having to pee. “Where’s the restroom?”
“The closest one is probably through there.” Brooks pointed down a hallway I hadn’t even noticed. “Third door on your right,” he called after I already started down the hall.
I was feeling a bit drunk. How was it possible for me to still be Ollie Oxmend and have this kind of day?
The journey to the bathroom was longer than I expected, with the three doors being spaced far apart. I couldn’t even imagine what was behind all those doors. Who needed that much room? There were only five members of the Brooks family, why did they need all the space?
When I reached the third door, I paused just outside, not sure Brooks had given me correct instructions. The room was larger than my living room, which admittedly wasn’t very big, and about seventy times nicer.
Just as I was about to shut myself in the grand room, I felt a hand on my hip and fingers brushing against my stomach. The feeling made me jump, because not only was it unexpected but I hated being touched on my non-flat, not-even-concave middle region.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.” Alan’s smooth voice snaked into my ear.
“It’s all right.” I sounded jumpy even to myself.
I turned to maneuver away from him since he was still touching my hip. Alan took the odd movement as an invitation to join me in the bathroom. Next thing I knew we were both standing too close for comfort in a room that was meant to be used alone.
“It was lucky that you broke away from the group,” he told me as if I was in on something with him.
I laughed a bit. “Well, just for a minute. You know…” I gestured to the toilet, not sure why he wasn’t leaving.
“Well, lucky for me that I could catch you. Alone.”
He elbowed the door completely closed, then came to stand closer to me than ever.
“Did you want to talk to me about something?” I knew he didn’t. He was making it very clear that he didn’t corner me in the bathroom to talk, but I had to keep up that pretense because I needed it to be the truth.
“There are some things we could talk about. Like, when you want the tour of my bedroom?”
Dr. Alan Brooks ran his hand from my shoulder to my elbow and back up again as he leaned into me. I stood there completely frozen, trying to think of something to say that would make his words have a different, more innocent, meaning behind them.
“Oh. I don’t know,” I replied, not sure what else to do.
Maybe he was just trying to be friendly.
“If the house makes you uneasy, we could look at some art elsewhere. You know, I’d love to take you to a museum and just…pick your brain for a night.”
“Yeah, sure. Brooks and I were just saying we should get to a museum.” I was clinging to innocence so tightly my fingertips were starting to hurt.
I took a step away from him but it didn’t help. I’d backed myself against the sink, leaving Alan to close the gap again. He pressed into me then with his legs against mine, making me feel his excitement for the situation on my stomach.
“Brooks? I’m the original Brooks, darlin’.”
He gave me a crooked grin and heavy lidded stare that I knew he intended to be sexy, but it only creeped me out entirely. Not to mention the fact that no, he was not the original Brooks.
“You’re not my Brooks,” I told him with more confidence in my voice.
“Oh, but I could be.” He pressed completely against me, making sure to give me the full effect. “If you think you can handle it.”
I could feel the red on my face at his forwardness, but I wasn’t going to let him do this to me. I couldn’t believe I found myself in that position. I couldn’t believe Brooks’s own father would do that to him. I couldn’t believe he’d do that to his wife. But most of all, I couldn’t believe he was ruining the first perfect day I had in my twenty years of life.
I leaned in toward Alan as if I was going to tell him a sexy secret. “If you don’t get that thing away from me, no one will be able to ‘handle it’ ever again. Including you.”
He leaned back and stopped touching me, so I knew he knew I was serious, but his expression remained infuriatingly impassive. Just like I was trying to diffuse the satiation, so was he.
“Darlin’, I appreciate the coyness, but all that bedroom talk in my office wasn’t without reason. Gwendolyn and William will never find out about this.”
“You’re right. They won’t. Now you have three seconds to get out of here.” I was absolutely done with his shit.
“Or what?” He raised his eyebrows in a
heartbreakingly Brooks-like gesture. Without my fully understanding why, tears began to pool in my eyes, but because of my lashes they wouldn’t fall. I was feeling so sad for Mrs. Brooks having a louse of a husband, although people cheated all the time. I was hurting for Brooks. No matter how awful I thought my mom was, she’d never, ever, never hit on one of my boyfriends.
“Or they will find out.”
Alan smiled at me, all feline, but he raised his hands and backed out of the room. The second he was gone I had an emotional burst. My hands clamped down on the rim of the sink and no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. My chest was heaving as silent sobs escaped from it.
I was all hunched over when I felt hands on me again. I shot up, this time prepared to kick some balls.
“Ollie, I’m sorry.” It was Gwendolyn, and she looked like a scared puppy.
“Gwenny, you scared me,” I said, accidently calling her my secret nickname out loud.
“Please, don’t tell William.” Her eyes pleaded with me.
“Tell him what?” I said while wiping my loose hairs from my eyes. I had almost recovered, although I still desperately needed to pee.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry he made such vulgar passes at you.” How much had she heard, or was she just guessing? “But please, don’t tell William. He doesn’t need to know this side of his father. In fact, I’ve tried very hard to keep it from him. I know I’m asking a lot and you don’t owe me anything, but as the mother of the man you love, I’m asking you to do this for me. Please.”
I nodded, completely baffled by what the hell was happening. “You have my word. I would never want to hurt Brooks.” I wanted to add, “But you still have to know this side of Alan exists and that must hurt you and it’s not okay,” but I kept it to myself.
She sighed, then gave me a smile. It was tight, but her eyes completely relaxed. “You’re not the first girlfriend of William’s he’s done this too, but with the way you handled yourself you might be the last—oh, no. That came out wrong. Not that I think there will be anyone after you.”
I patted her hand in a gesture I never imagined I’d make. “It’s okay. I know what you mean.” Maybe I did handle myself pretty well.
“Really, Ollie. I’ve never seen William so smitten in his life. I need you to know that.”
“Thank you,” I told her, hoping those two words conveyed how much I meant it.
“I’ll just give you a minute.” She turned for the exit.
“Mrs. Brooks,” I called after her and she turned. “Why do put up with it?” I immediately regretted asking. It wasn’t my business and I almost didn’t want to hear her answer.
“Love.” She laughed one humorless hiccup. “I could tell you it’s because we’ve been together since high school or because he’s the father of my children, but the real answer is because I love him.”
She left the room before I could say anything. My first thought was how stupid, and I planned on telling her at my earliest convenience. But after I had used the facilities and my nerves calmed considerably, I understood where she was coming from. I’d done much stupider things because of love. Maybe not romantic love, but love all the same.
After I finally left the bathroom, I rejoined Gwendolyn and Brooks. Luckily for everyone, Alan was MIA. The rest of the evening wasn’t entirely unbearable. The three of us shared pleasant conversation and Brooks never once asked where his dad was.
In fact, Alan stayed out of sight and mind until it was time for Brooks and I to make the drive back home. He just materialized at the small side entrance when we were saying our goodbyes. I hugged Gwenny in a sign of solidarity, but I paid no attention whatsoever to Alan.
Brooks shook his dad’s hand and clasped him on the back in a move all men seemed to know. I slinked toward the door. If Brooks noticed my sudden coldness to his dad, he didn’t say anything about it.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Things were still going creepily well between Brooks and I when he dropped a bomb on me.
Quite possibly I was overdramatic and it wasn’t a bomb at all, but when he told me he had an overnight conference—three overnights, to be exact—in Cleveland, I wanted to cry. How did I go from being the girl with the self-proclaimed black heart to the girl who cried because she’d miss her boyfriend too much after three freaking nights?
“You’ll be here when I get back, right?”
I laughed, but could tell it was a very real question. I did disappear before. “Yes. I promise.”
He kissed me then. The kiss to end all kisses, it ensured without a doubt I’d wait for him until the end of time. All the same, it was agonizing to say goodbye and I even contemplated climbing into his suitcase.
“You know what we could do to make this separation a little easier?”
“No,” I said while standing on my tiptoes. I had my arms around his neck like a human tie. Brooks was dragging me to the front door as he tried to make his exit. “What can we do?”
“Sext.”
“Sext?”
He nodded his head in such a staid fashion that I laughed out loud. “Come on,” he said while un-draping my arms, “I’m serious.”
“I dunno. I feel like that would…frustrate me more.”
He gave me that “you’re being dramatic” eye roll, but I knew he was loving my reaction. I was giving him a hard time and he was eating it all up. He offered me that devilish grin that could get me to do anything and grabbed at my nearly naked body.
“Come on. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
How could a girl say no to that?
A few minutes after Brooks left, there was a knock on the door. It was Aaron…of course it was Aaron. I was only wearing panties and one of Brooks’s t-shirts, but what was the point in hiding it anymore?
“Ollie.” He regarded an area above my head, shifting his weight He was still dressed for sleeping, but looked like he’d been up for a while. “I can’t take this anymore.”
“What?” Boden suddenly appeared at my feet. He had been left for me to care for, making me feel important and trusted.
“I want you. I want to be with you. Fuck Sadie and this wedding and everything that happened in the past. Just be with me.”
The wind kicked up then. To punctuate his sentence, the stench of full garbage cans lining the street for trash day filled my nostrils. I shook my head. He wasn’t talking to me. Those words never reached my ears and none of it was happening.
“Stop it.”
Why? It’s the truth. It’s how I feel and I think you’ve known that for a long time.
“You love Sadie.” Did he?
I don’t, he signed.
“You do,” I told him as I tried to push him out of the doorway. Or just away from me. Boden let out a small but distinctly protective grumble.
Let me come in so we can talk.
I’m not letting you into his house to bad-mouth him. I shivered then, too cold to be standing with the door open. Aaron noticed and tried to use it to his advantage.
What if Sadie sees? Just let me in.
He had a point, but not a good enough one.
Or you could just leave.
You’re acting like I’m not here telling you I want to be with you. Ollie, listen to me, I’m breaking it off with Sadie. No wedding. I want us to move in together and be a couple again and get married and have babies…
He let his fingers go still so I could let it all sink in.
“Aaron…” Past me, old me, was cherishing those words and picking out an engagement ring and wedding dress in her mind. He laid out a happily ever after and that’s all I could ever want. I leaned into him. “I don’t know what to say.”
Then don’t say anything.
He pressed forward. Our faces met. We kissed.
It was we in every sense of the word. I kissed him back and I wanted to.
Boden let out a real growl and I came to my senses. I shoved away from Aaron. It broke the ki
ss, but he then pulled me back into a hug.
We were still standing on the front porch, I might add.
“Let me go.” I shoved at his chest. “Stop it.”
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same.” He had to speak aloud because his hands were still trying to touch me.
“I don’t!”
I said the words so loudly they hurt my own ears, but it worked; he let me go. We were two separate entities again.
Aaron signed, I thought you would’ve learned after the first time you broke my heart. Things turned out really well for you when we broke up, didn’t they? Don’t make the same mistake. You won’t survive it this time.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. We broke up because we weren’t in love with each other anymore, and you had no problem moving on to Sadie. Brooks and I are together now. I want to be with him, Aaron. I love him.”
It wasn’t lost on me that I was admitting this for the first time to Aaron instead of Brooks, but it needed to be said. I wanted to let Aaron down gently, as crazy as that seems—for all the times he was there for me, for the time when I did love him, but mostly for reasons that only one tortured soul to another would understand.
That’s not what happened, though. Everything about Aaron changed the moment I told him I was in love. His eyes darkened and his whole body clenched.
Bullshit. He raked his fingers through his dark hair. Love is bullshit. You love his house. You love his car and the fact that you could someday be Doctor and Mrs, but I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. This little fairytale is never going to happen. Ever! He’s first class all the way and you’re the little broken whore he fucked the shit out of a few times back when.
You’re a story he’ll tell at his bachelor party before he marries a former Miss Pennsylvania or someone else impressive. I can see your scar from here, O, and even if the physical marks fade they’ll always, always, be there emotionally. You’re damaged goods at best, and a man like him wants so much more than that.
You’re wrong, I told him without any conviction behind my signs, but using my voice would’ve been worse.