Whiskey Undone (Whiskey and Lies Book 3)

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  So, who had buried him? The company? If that were the case, then why hadn’t any of them contacted Loch?

  And why did Loch hear about now owning the damn company—at least in the preliminary papers—from a damn lawyer who hadn’t even bothered to call?

  It didn’t make any sense.

  Riker had been Jason’s second once Loch left, and that meant that Riker should have been the one to get the company. Either that, or the whole thing should have been dissolved. That’s what Loch planned to do if he could now. Because he wanted nothing to do with the company, and he didn’t think he could trust any of the guys he’d left behind to make sure the place didn’t go to the dark side. The company had the kind of connections and reputation where they could go into any government or high-ranking official’s office and work it from the inside. If you had a moral code, then protection was the key. If you didn’t? Then the cost could be staggering—losses of money and life.

  And that was just another reason why Loch couldn’t get Dennis out of his mind.

  It just seemed far too coincidental in Loch’s mind that a man close to him—at least in proximity and profession—should be murdered on his property right about the time when Loch found out that he was now the new owner of the company—and Riker had been suspiciously silent about it all.

  There was nothing silent about Riker, not unless the man was coming at someone from behind.

  A quiet Riker was a deadly and dangerous Riker.

  And then there was that ominous note.

  Maybe Loch was losing his mind and connecting the things when they really didn’t need to be connected, but it wasn’t until after he’d spoken with the cops and saw the documents that he’d started thinking. It wasn’t as if he could go to the local detectives and tell them that he hadn’t heard from a man he used to know in a while so maybe he was connected to Dennis’s death. It made no sense, and it probably wasn’t even true, but since Loch couldn’t shake it, he kept thinking about it.

  And he’d keep turning it over in his mind until he made sense of it all. Loch’s brain was a Rubik’s Cube sometimes, and he’d find a way to discover the right pattern.

  But until he did, Loch needed to keep those he cared about safe.

  That meant that Ainsley needed to stay away. Not just because of his imaginary worry about Riker, but because he was afraid if he kept her near, he might just fall for her. And that wouldn’t be good for either of them. He’d break her heart, shatter his daughter’s heart, and ruin it all. So, the more distance they kept between them, the better.

  Even thinking those thoughts made him feel like he was doing the wrong thing and overthinking everything. So, he pushed those ideas out of his head and told himself that he’d made the right decision.

  The other person he needed to keep safe was currently walking into the kitchen, a scowl on her sweet face.

  “I don’t want to go to other grandma and grandpa’s,” Misty pouted. “I want to stay home and watch a movie with Ainsley.”

  Loch pinched the bridge of his nose after setting down his coffee. “We already went over this, Misty. This week, you’re staying with your grandma and grandpa while Ainsley works at her house.” He paused, looking up and across the kitchen so he could see Misty’s face. “And stop calling them other grandpa and grandma. You know that hurts them.”

  Misty sighed, a little more dramatic than usual, and he knew she’d only get more so as the conversation wore on. And, hell, as she got older. She was so much like his sister Tabby sometimes, it was scary.

  Well, a mix of Tabby and Ainsley, but Loch tried hard not to think of that. Attempted to ignore the fact that, sometimes, he only saw a little bit of Marnie in her; and, at other times, nothing at all.

  “I don’t want to hurt them,” Misty muttered. “But I don’t want to stay with them. Why do I have to?”

  Loch went over to her and knelt in front of her. His little girl was getting so big that it was sometimes startling how she could meet his eyes when he was down on the ground. He used to be able to hold her in one arm, her little head in his big hand as he did his best not to break the greatest miracle of his life.

  “Because you love them, and they love you. And you spend a night or two at their house every two months because it’s a big slumber party for you.”

  Loch hadn’t always been a fan of the arrangement, and it wasn’t part of the custody agreement. In fact, Marnie’s parents didn’t have a single right to see their daughter’s daughter. Loch’s mother, however, had sat down with him right when Marnie left, and he’d felt like he was alone.

  “Loch, son, you need to make sure that little girl has as much family as she can,” she had said. “I know Marnie is gone. And while I’ll never forgive her for doing that to this perfect baby girl, I will say, I’m glad she left.” She’d held up her hand when he looked at her as if she were insane. “You don’t have to fight for custody. This little girl doesn’t have to grow up knowing a woman who would one day leave her anyway. Instead, she’ll never know Marnie. That woman gave the little girl her DNA and her name, but that’s it. But, Marnie’s parents? They are trying, Loch. They saw their daughter fail and push them out of her life. They have nothing else. But I know people, and I know they will do well by that baby girl. I’m not saying open your doors to them at all hours but allow them to help. Allow them to know their granddaughter. I love this little girl with all my heart already, and I’ve only known her for a few hours. Let them have that, too. As much as it pains me to share her with anyone because I’m selfish that way.” She’d winked, and he’d fallen in love with his mother all over again. She was so damn strong, so damn caring. And she never backed down.

  So, he’d gone to Marnie’s parents after Misty was born and had tried to find a solution to the problem. At first, it had been visitation at his house, but he’d never been a fan of people in his home—the fact that Ainsley had always been a part of it had been a surprise in and of itself. He also hadn’t liked the idea that he was basically supervising their visits. He’d gotten to know the older couple over the past four years, and he knew they’d do anything to keep Misty happy and safe.

  So, he’d installed the best security he had at their house, even better than what he had at his own because their place had fewer blind spots thanks to architecture. They hadn’t given him weird looks about his hypersensitivity when it came to safety and had even welcomed it. Marnie’s parents and Misty had had dinners together without Loch. And, at first, he’d been a grumpy asshole about it because he missed his kid. Then, he’d gotten over himself because Misty had come to like it.

  The whole week at the grandparents’ thing was new and had only happened once before because Loch had been forced to go out of town. But he’d called last night and asked if it could happen again. The couple hadn’t asked questions, they just wanted to spend time with their granddaughter.

  And Loch needed his kid to be safe.

  Between school and being at her grandparents’ house, Misty would be safe and sound and not near him in case this whole Riker thing wasn’t just in his mind. He figured a week would be long enough for him to find out. And if he were being paranoid, then Misty had a whole week with people who loved her, and he would get peace of mind.

  He wasn’t the world’s most normal father, but he, like his brothers joked, had a special set of skills and knew how to use them.

  Jesus, I need more sleep if I’m quoting Liam Neeson.

  “I want to stay with Ainsley,” Misty whined, and Loch knew trying to keep any form of distance between Ainsley and Misty might be far harder than he’d thought.

  He didn’t want Misty to be confused. Didn’t want her to think of Ainsley as her mom as she had at the dance studio. Hell, he didn’t want her to think that Ainsley would always be there. What would happen when Ainsley found the man of her dreams and had children of her own?

  Of course, for that to happen, the man would have to live because Loch just might kill the bastard for daring to to
uch what was his.

  And that was enough of that because, fuck it, she wasn’t his. Hadn’t he just proven that when he pushed her away because he was an asshole?

  An asshole who got way too fucking scared when shit got real when it came to her, so he wasn’t going to let things get real.

  “I know you want Ainsley, but she has to work, and you need to stay with your grandparents. You love them, and they love you,” he repeated. He wanted to say it to himself again because he was literally shipping off his kid so he could make sure she was safe.

  And not really telling anyone about it because he really didn’t know if he believed the connections with the whole Riker and Dennis and the company thing.

  He just needed to figure out where Riker was, let the authorities figure out who killed Dennis, and hope to hell and back that the two weren’t connected.

  “She can work here. Or with Grandma and Grandpa.”

  “I said no. Ainsley has her own life. She’s not part of ours all the time, Misty. We need to let her be.” He didn’t make his voice hard or even forceful, but he had to make sure Misty understood. He just had no idea how to explain it all to a four-year-old.

  He didn’t understand it completely himself.

  “I hate you.” She narrowed her eyes at him, and some part of him broke. He’d suspected words like this were coming. Kids learned them from others and thought that was how they should lash out. Misty didn’t mean it since she didn’t really understand the words.

  It didn’t make it any easier for Loch to hear.

  She was his blood, his future, and he knew it would only get worse and yet sweeter as she grew older. This was parenting.

  And it sucked balls.

  “You don’t hate me. You’re four. No TV tonight when I drop you off just for that.”

  She opened her mouth to say something else, and he leaned forward and kissed her nose.

  “I love you, Misty Collins. You’re my baby girl. But you don’t get to use words like hate until you know what they really mean. And you don’t get to know what they really mean until you’re older.”

  It was as good as he could put it. When she actually got older, he’d have to find ways to make her understand, hell, to make himself understand. But, for now, he just hoped he knew what he was doing.

  Just like any dad.

  Tears welled in Misty’s eyes, and he hugged her close. “Love you,” he repeated, kissing the top of her head.

  “I love you, too, Daddy. I don’t hate you. I just love Ainsley, too.”

  He closed his eyes and just kept hugging his baby girl.

  This is the problem, he thought. Loving Ainsley was at the center of it all.

  By the time he dropped Misty off at her grandparents’ with all her things and reassurances that he’d video chat with her every night and afternoon plus call her grandparents for updates, he was tired. But he knew that his evening was only beginning.

  Marnie’s parents had been full of questioning gazes, and he’d only explained that there might be stuff from his old job getting in the way. They knew he’d been in security, and since he’d told them that he’d never killed a person and had always been on the right side of the law, they believed him. They also knew that, sometimes, even being on the right side made you enemies of those on the wrong one.

  So, they’d promised to entertain inside and keep the security system on lockdown. It was the best Loch could do, and he really hoped he was just overreacting. Knowing him, he probably was, but he could never be too careful when it came to his daughter’s life. If what he thought might be happening actually was, they’d come to his house. They’d come to him. And both Misty and Ainsley would be out of the way when they did.

  Or…he was fucking losing his mind.

  If he were overreacting, then his kid had a week with her grandparents like she’d wanted to do before she changed her mind because she was in a bad mood. She’d have time with people he knew she needed to get to know more because they loved her—even if her mother hadn’t. Misty had been dealt the worst of blows when it came to mothers, but Marnie’s parents were good people. And Loch had to remember that, even if he hated that his daughter knew she hadn’t been wanted by the one person who should have loved her no matter what. No amount of love from others could change that, no matter how hard he tried to make it so.

  While he really wanted a glass of whiskey, Loch opened a bottle of fizzy water that Ainsley had left at his house since he desired the carbonation but not the caffeine. Then he started looking over his papers, trying to figure out what to do with the company he wanted nothing to do with.

  The knock on the door surprised him, making him almost completely knock his drink over onto his papers. He shook his head, cleaned up the small spill that made it to the table and went to open the front door after looking through the peephole.

  “Ainsley.” He didn’t sigh as he said it, and ignored the clutch in his gut at the sight of her. She was so damn beautiful, a fact he’d forced himself to ignore the entire time he’d known her. At least until the other night. How was he supposed to keep her away when she kept coming back?

  “Loch.” She raised her chin. “We need to talk.”

  And the hell of it was, he figured they did.

  Even if it hurt.

  Chapter 7

  Ainsley had pretty much used up most of her courage walking up to the door and looking Loch right in the eyes. She hoped she’d figure out how to gain some more soon.

  As in, right now.

  Loch moved to the side, and she held up her chin, stepping into his home like she was welcome and not like she’d been practically kicked out the last time she was here. When he closed the door behind them both, she turned, trying not to look at him too closely.

  That was the problem when it came to Loch Collins. She always looked, always wanted to see beneath the surface.

  And the surface was damn pretty.

  She loved his strong jawline, the fact that the line tensed up and revealed little divots at the top when he got angry or thoughtful. He didn’t have dimples, but then again, he rarely smiled unless it came to Misty. He’d recently let his hair grow slightly, just long enough that Ainsley could slide her fingers through it if she wanted to. Long enough that she had slid her fingers through it when he’d slipped into her.

  She swallowed hard, pushing those thoughts back, though those memories were one of the reasons she was here in front of him.

  He wore a button-down shirt and jeans, and she couldn’t help but look at the skin peeking out at his neckline since he’d left the top button undone. Then her gaze traveled down his body, his broad shoulders, the waist she knew was all muscle, the core capable of helping him lift her up when he was inside her so they could find a new position. His thighs were thick and stretched the fabric of his jeans. She knew he was hard muscle and strength all over, and knew exactly what to do with every inch of him.

  And she did mean every inch.

  His feet were bare, something he often did in the house. Before Misty, when he’d been working for his old job, he always had his shoes on as if he had one foot out the door and into danger at all times. When Misty was born, and he’d settled fully in Whiskey, she’d noticed that he had taken to going barefoot in the house, having others take off their shoes at the door when they stopped by, as well.

  The gesture made the house a home, his life one of family rather than a journey through whatever hell he’d been in before.

  Ainsley didn’t know why she studied him like this, why she wanted to know more about him. He’d pushed her away, and she knew it had to be because of fear. Of what, she didn’t know, but she was going to find out.

  She cared about that little girl and the man in front of her far too much to back down when her feelings ended up hurt.

  “I can’t believe you said the words you did the last time I was here.” She did her best not to let the pain she felt slide into her words, but since this was Loch and he knew every part o
f her—except the parts she hid deep down and kept from the world—she wasn’t sure she succeeded.

  “Ainsley.”

  She held up her hand, thankful that he shut up when she did. “No, you had your turn to talk last time. Now, it’s my turn.”

  He swallowed hard, and she watched the way his throat worked.

  Damn him.

  But she still wasn’t going to back down.

  Not now.

  And maybe not ever.

  She deserved more.

  She deserved answers.

  “What you said before, hurt me. It was wrong and completely out of the blue. I don’t know why you think you can just push me out of the way after…however many years we’ve stood side by side. But, Loch? It doesn’t work that way. Friendships like we have don’t just end because someone had a bad day. And, yeah, a bad day might not be the right way to put it, but since you’re not telling me a single fucking thing, then that’s all I have to go on.”

  Her chest ached, and she took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. She’d almost written out a plan, an actual speech, but had decided that would be way too analytical for her when her feelings for Loch were anything but. There was no way she could put what they had together, what she thought they could have if they only gave it a chance, or what they could lose in a neat and tidy list.

  A list would have made what she was going through right then easier, however.

  “There are things I can’t tell you, Ainsley. You know that. You’ve always known that.”

  She wanted to slap him.

  She wanted to kiss him.

  She wanted to hug him close and beg him to tell her what was wrong and why he was acting so irrationally, so…un-Loch.

  “I know you had this mysterious job where you saved the world. I know you weren’t a Teen Titan or Batman.” She paused. “Well, I assume you aren’t Batman or Captain America, but what do I know.”