Into the Twilight: a Between the Worlds Novel

by Morgan Daimler

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.

  “Nothing is wrong, my love,” he replied reaching out to take her hand. “It’s only that I worry for you.”

  “There’s no reason to worry,” she said.

  “Allie,” he said gently, “You have been under a great deal of pressure lately. You are only just beginning to overcome the mental trauma you went through a few months ago. You were just shot as was someone you…are fond of. Then the person who harmed you so grievously returns unexpectedly and pursues you. Last night you were obviously in shock and wrestling with the memories brought up by that person. Expecting you to be able to handle the emotions surrounding this victim and crime scene is expecting too much. The police may not care about pushing you too hard, nor even may the other Elven Guard, but I will not – cannot – stand by and watch you pushed to breaking.”

  “Jess, I understand why you’re worried for me, I do. And I know that I haven’t been as strong as I should have been…”

  “Do not,” he cut her off, his voice hard, “say that. You are stronger than most others I know and certainly stronger than you give yourself credit for. If anything your need to appear strong hurts you in the end, because you do not allow for your own weakness.”

  Allie looked down, frowning. She didn’t understand what he meant. He sighed. “My heart, there is nothing wrong with being weak. There is nothing wrong with admitting that something is beyond you or that you need to rest. Or that something is too upsetting for you to deal with.”

  “But it has to be done,” Allie said slowly. “And I have admitted all of this – I told Syndra….oh, ummm. Right. I may not have mentioned that to you. I’ve been dreaming of Syn. She’s stuck here, on the earth plane, and she wants me to help find out why so her spirit can move on.”

  Jess gave her a long look, but before he could ask her why she hadn’t mentioned that sooner she rushed on, “And anyway I have told her I can’t do this that it’s too scary and I’m not strong enough.”

  He sighed. “I will spare you my opinion on whether or not confiding in your dead friend in a dream is the same thing as telling a living breathing person while you are awake. And you continue to push yourself harder and harder. Everyone has limits. Even you.”

  “I know that,” she replied, stung.

  “Then why not tell the police and their pet mage that you cannot go to the scene of that crime?”

  “Why shouldn’t I? I’ve been to others, and this one might help us find Standish…in fact I might be able to track him from there.”

  “Yes, that has occurred to me, which is why I will accompany you when you go. But do you really think it’s wise to go somewhere and open yourself to the emotions of such a scene?”

  “I think it’s necessary,” she said stubbornly defending Sam’s idea.

  “And what will it stir up in you? How much of your recent progress with this healing will be undone if you are put in touch with the feelings of that woman, the feelings she experienced during her assault?” he insisted, just as stubbornly.

  Allie felt something click into place, something she’d tried to deny just as much as she’d tried to deny the event itself. Her hand tightened on his. “You…you know what happened? To me, I mean? All of it?”

  He met her eyes, his face full of sorrow, “I knew when we found you that night.”

  “Oh,” she said, feeling stupid. “Of course you did.”

  “It changes nothing,” he thought to her, reaching out to connect to her mind, although she wasn’t sure if it was to comfort her or reassure himself. “I love you no less. I value you no less. You are the most precious thing in my life Allie, and nothing can alter that.”

  “No,” she thought slowly, feeling his love around her, filling the air, “It does change something – it takes a weight off of me. I don’t feel like I’m hiding a secret from you anymore.”

  “I knew you would tell me when you were ready to,” he thought calmly.

  Allie nodded, pulling her hand from his so she could start the car.

  “I love you Jess. Nothing can change that either,” she thought to him, rewarded by a surge of emotion that pushed the tension out of her shoulders.

  She really did feel as if a weight had been lifted, although part of her had worried it would change how he felt about her, about wanting to be with her, finding out that he’d known from the beginning made it hard to hold onto that fear. Releasing it was like setting down something heavy she’d been carrying, and she drove home silently, turning the idea over and over.

  When she parked in front of the house she noticed that while Shawn’s car was still gone both Liz and Jason were home and she relaxed even more. She had barely seen her cousin since the shooting and she had begun to fear that Liz was avoiding her on purpose, either because of Jess moving in or because she wouldn’t take Liz’s suggestion to leave town for a while.

  She scanned the yard reflexively for Ciaran as she walked up to the door with Jess, but there was no sign of the kelpie. Allie had no doubt though that he was nearby, probably laying low trying to lure the Dark court elves back by pretending to be gone. It was reassuring to know that he was out there, wherever he was, protecting her.

  It had been a long day, but an oddly satisfying one. She knew that Jess expected her to be an emotional wreck with everything that was going on, but she felt better than she had since the shooting. Talking – finally talking – about what had happened to her several months ago with someone who knew exactly what it was like to go through that same thing had been cathartic. She didn’t feel alone anymore, and even better she had finally talked about it with Jess. Yes the Dark court elves were back, and the one who had hurt her was hunting her again but she didn’t feel afraid. She felt angry, and oddly relieved. She didn’t have to worry about whether she’d see him again, whether he’d hurt her again. He was back and she knew it and the terrible uncertainty was gone.

  She was still thinking about this when she walked into the house and Jason called from the living room. “Hey Allie, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  She and Jess exchanged a puzzled look and then walked into the other room. Liz was sitting primly on one of the high backed chairs; Jason stood by the window as if he’d been watching for them to get back. And sitting on the couch, leaning back as comfortably as ever, was Bleidd. For an instant Allie stood, stunned, feeling her own shock reflected by Jess.

  “Bleidd!” she cried and ran across the room. She skidded to a stop a few feet away from him, wanting to throw her arms around him, but afraid of hurting him. “You’re home! Are you – I mean how are you feeling?”

  His expression was as cynical as his words, but the feelings around him let her know he was basking in her excitement. “I’d like to say I successfully escaped but I think they just grew tired of dealing with me.”

  Her face hurt from smiling and, deciding it would be safe enough if she were careful, she leaned forward and gave him a gentle hug. He of course took advantage of the moment to wrap his good arm around her and pull her as close as possible, almost throwing her off balance. She said, “I’m glad you’re home”

  He whispered into her hair, low enough that no one else would hear, “I would not be anywhere else with so much excitement going on.”

  She tensed, pulling back. He let her go with obvious reluctance. She turned to Jason, putting her hands on her hips, “Jason, what did you tell him?”

  “Me? What?” Jason said nervously, his eyes darting between Allie and Bleidd and then at Jess. Allie knew he was still very nervous around the Elven Guard, even with Jess living here. Or possibly more so with Jess living here, and she felt a brief stab of guilt. Especially since Liz was making a point of refusing to acknowledge Jess’s presence. Why can’t I be happy without the thing that makes me happy making other people unhappy she thought Is it some sort of universal law?

  “About what happened yesterday?” she prodded.

  “Oh, ummm that,” Jason sa
id faintly. “Well, yeah. I told him. I mean I had to tell him Allie he does live here too and…”

  “Wait,” Liz cut in frowning fiercely, “what happened yesterday?”

  Uh oh Allie thought as a thick silence fell over the room. “Ahhh, well….”

  “There was an incident here yesterday,” Jess said, calmly, “Two people came here and chased Allie, who fled into the woods. Her kelpie friend came to her aid and drove them off.”

  Allie blessed Jess’s discretion, in saying people and not elves. Even so Liz frowned harder, her expression reflecting something uglier than just her judgment. “People? What people? Allie this is getting completely out of control. I can’t even feel safe in my own home anymore.”

  “I’m sorry, Liz,” Allie said.

  At the same moment Jason spoke up. “It’s not her fault Liz.”

  “I’m not saying it’s her fault,” Liz said but the guilty look she shot at Allie belied her words. “It’s just that she’s done enough. She’s helped them enough. How does it do them any good now if she gets herself killed?”

  Jess reached out and pulled her back against his shoulder. “I will never allow Allie to be killed, not while I live.”

  To Allie’s shock Liz gave Jess a cold look, her emotions a tangle of anger, resentment, and something almost like hatred. Allie frowned at her cousin. She knew, of course, that Liz didn’t like elves and that she blamed the Elven Guard for a lot of the trouble that had gone on in the past few months. She also knew that Liz resented Jess moving in to the house, something the cousins had argued bitterly about right after the shooting. But she had honestly believed that her cousin understood how important Jess was to her. What she was feeling from her now though made her question that.

  “Well,” Allie said, looking away from the only surviving family she had any contact with, someone who was more like a sister than a cousin. “Let’s not ruin Bleidd’s first day home with this. We should be celebrating.”

  “Right,” Jason quickly agreed. “How about some Dynasty Moon? My treat?”

  Both the elves agreed eagerly, not surprising given the high quality of food at Dynasty Moon and the elven love of sensual pleasures including the epicurean ones. Liz hesitated, obviously wanting to disagree but also not wanting to make a scene. Finally she gave in, forcing a smile but Allie knew she was still seething inside.

  The rest of the evening passed quietly as Bleidd, Jason, and Jess ate and then settled into a long, meandering conversation about the history of Ashwood. It was exactly the sort of thing that normally would have captivated Allie, since the elves were not talking about second hand stories but sharing their own memories of the town over the years, but she sat quietly watching her cousin. It was finally sinking in that Liz was really unhappy about the way things were going, both the danger Allie was putting herself in and Jess living there and Allie started to worry that she was being selfish by insisting that she had to have her own way. It was Liz’s house too, but Allie wasn’t giving her cousin much choice but to accept the situations. It made her feel bad, and ruined both Bleidd’s coming home, which should have eased the last of her worry about his health after the shooting, and also an evening where he and Jess were in the same room and not sniping at each other. That was truly miraculous, although Allie thought that it probably had a lot to do with Jess feeling so much more secure in their relationship now that they were going to be married.

  So she sat on the couch after the food was cleared away, halfheartedly listening to Bleidd and Jess talk about the Sundering, the Great War, and the impact on Ashwood, but really watching her cousin. Liz sat on a chair across the room pretending interest, her mind really a million miles away; Allie recognized that detached look on her face from all the times they’d sat through boring lectures by their grandmother as children.

  Allie was really worried that with the way things kept amping up something was going to have to give soon. And the last thing she wanted was for her cousin to get hurt because of her choices.

  Chapter 5 – Thursday

  Bleidd moved slowly down the hallway towards the kitchen, hating the way his body still ached from his injury. It was leagues better than it had been even the day before, but he was not accustomed to dealing with any physical limitations. His time recovering in the clinic had been absolutely maddening and more than once he had nearly called on Brynneth, to see if the healer could do any more for him. Only the knowledge that he was already in the healer’s debt because of the first aid he’d been given immediately after the shooting had stopped him. The Elven Guard would be far too willing to use any such debt to manipulate him to its own ends, something he knew too well having long ago been a Guard member himself.

  That train of thought had proved fruitful however as he’d realized he could use the debt to further his own agenda. As soon as Jason told him about the Dark elves attempting to kidnap Allie he knew that, whatever it took, those elves must die or they would be an endless threat to her. He had convinced the doctor to release him from the clinic, fully intending to set about hunting down and destroying this threat. But it quickly became apparent that he was in no physical condition to accomplish anything except finding his own death, for although he could undoubtedly locate them he could not defend himself. The thought of fighting an agent of the Dark court, no doubt skilled in countless Machiavellian methods of combat, was laughable. But, if he went to the Guard, who were certainly already hunting the same quarry, he could say that he wanted to find the Dark court elves for them, to relieve his debt. And once they were found the Elven Guard would become his blade, putting an end to the threat to Allie’s safety with limited risk to his own.

  And so he walked stiffly down the hall, carefully rehearsing what he would say and trying to ignore his own obvious weakness. He could have gone to the Outpost and petitioned the Guard captain directly, but last night there had been something different about Jessilaen; less hostility and more conviviality. Bleidd knew that Brynneth answered first to Jessilaen, and that the debt owed to the healer had been accrued through his position in the Guard and could therefore be discharged through service to the Guard. It was within Jessilaen’s authority to negotiate and accept such a thing and Bleidd was fairly sure the other elf would be receptive to his idea.

  He found the Guard commander sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. Jason had already left for work, and Liz was asleep so it was a safe assumption that the distant sound of the water running upstairs indicated Allie’s location. Perfect. Given Allie’s love of lengthy showers he should have plenty of time to talk with Jessilaen without her being aware of it. The last thing he needed was for her to get wind of his plan and force him to make a promise that would tie his hands entirely.

  He fixed his own cup of coffee, with generous amounts of milk and sugar. With a sigh he joined Jessilaen at the table, sipping the drink despite its temperature. It was worth coming home early just to escape the black sludge the clinic tried to pass off as coffee…

  “Commander,” Bleidd said politely, after he’d savored his drink for a bit. “I would speak with you if you have the time.”

  Jessilaen tilted his head, setting his own cup down and giving the former Outcast all his attention. “Certainly.”

  “It is weighing heavily on me that I owe Brynneth a debt.” Bleidd began carefully. “But I am also aware that you are seeking to find the Dark court elves that are hiding in Ashwood. I believe I can be of assistance with this.”

  “Why are you so willing to aid the Guard in rooting out these agents of the Dark court?” Jess asked.

  “I have offered and done as much before,” Bleidd pointed out, refusing to let the other elf bait him. “And now I have a debt to pay.”

  “Yes, but why offer to do so again now?” Jessilaen pressed. “And do not act as if your debt motivates you. We both know that Brynneth did very little for you that day, and what he did do hardly warrants risking yourself hunting such a dangerous enemy.”

  “Because they are here to
harm Allie,” he said, struggling to stay calm. He did not want to confess his true reason, but he also knew that Jessilaen of all people should understand well enough that motivation.

  “And you are willing to come here and ask me to allow you to help us, officially, because you are so certain you can track them down where we cannot?” Jess pressed.

  “Whatever it takes to keep her alive I will do. If I must get down on my knees and kiss your arrogant ass, then so be it,” Bleidd said, the words forced out between gritted teeth as his temper slipped. Damn the fool for making this so hard, when it should be simple. “But I will not let her die because I was too stubborn to compromise and work with you.”

  Jessilaen regarded the former Outcast cautiously. “You must love her a great deal.”

  “You have no idea,” Bleidd said. “I love her far more than you do.”

  “I doubt that. She is my life now, without her I will die,” Jessilaen said, his own voice cold, even as he acknowledged his own weakness. “You must hate me for standing in your way.”

  “There have been times recently where I did hate you,” Bleidd agreed. “When I watched you in my own home with her. Ten years I have known her, ten years of loving her and waiting for her to grow up, and there I sit watching you in what should be my place. Knowing that she loves you too, knowing that she can’t choose between us and that you are with her because you acted when I waited. The torture of being in the same house while you enjoy the privilege of bedding her, when it should be me spilling my seed between her thighs. Oh yes, it’s easy to hate you for all of that. But I am not so young or foolish, or even blinded by my love for her, that I don’t realize my hatred for you is rooted in my own jealousy, because you have something that I want. And in hating you I reduce her to nothing but a prize to be won and that is…unworthy of her.”

  Jessilaen’s paused, for once not answering with a quick retort. Finally, slowly, he nodded. “Yes, it is.”