Into the Twilight: a Between the Worlds Novel

by Morgan Daimler

  “Oh! No,” she said, shaking her head. “It wasn’t like that, exactly. I mean I was out of it, yeah, but I knew who it was, who was there with me. And I didn’t know exactly what was going on, ahhhh, you know physically, but I wanted the emotions. I was, ahhh, encouraging that part. As much as I could on the mental end of things. That’s participation, sort of. I’m more worried that I influenced their emotions to get what I needed. And they saved my life. And I would have been…I mean if I was totally conscious I would have encouraged it too…”

  “Okay, okay,” he cut in. “You’re babbling. I get it. I think it’s a little weird, and if it was me, it would bother me, but it’s your life and your body, and if you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it.”

  “I’m okay with it,” Allie said firmly. She wished she could explain the way the red and gold fire had been in the darkness, the way that their emotions and will to live had filled her. The way that she had drunk it in greedily until there was nothing more to take…and her own certainty that she could have refused, could have stopped either one of them by killing their desire in that blackness, putting out the beautiful flames, if she had wanted to.

  “So are you and Bleidd and Jessilaen all, I mean…how’s this going to work now?” Jason asked, obviously uncomfortable.

  She flinched, looking down again. “I don’t know. I think I’ve really screwed everything up, but there’s too much going on right now to deal with it, you know?”

  “Well. Ummm. Wow. Is this bond thing something you can fix? I mean undo?”

  “Honestly I don’t know,” she said, biting her lip. “I think so. I mean in theory I should be able to unbind him. I think.”

  Jason’s expression softened as he reached out to lift Allie’s chin so that she had to look at him. “Is that what he wants?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Allie!” Jason’s dark eyes searched her face as if he were looking for something important.

  “What?” she mumbled uncomfortably.

  “He loves you. He’s been trying to get into your pants for months now. Maybe he won’t want you to undo this,” Jason said as if that should have been obvious.

  She made a face. “Yeah well he might be re-thinking that.”

  “And what does that mean?”

  “That sometimes getting what you want makes you realize you don’t really want it,” she said, embarrassed at the tears that threatened to spill over.

  “Hey, don’t cry,” Jason said, alarmed. Then, realization dawning in his eyes. “You really love him don’t you?”

  “Ugh,” she groaned, trying to pull away from her friend. “Yes. I really do. And I really love Jess too. And I’m really contracted to marry Jess. And Bleidd really did save my life. And I really tied myself psychically to both of them. And it’s all just a huge mess now and damned if I have any idea how to fix any of it. Really fix it. Because it seems like anything I do is just going to mean breaking someone’s heart.”

  “Including yours,” Jason said.

  “I think I’m pretty screwed at this point,” Allie said sincerely, earning a small wry smile from Jason.

  Allie jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder; she watched Jason’s eyes go wide. Then Bleidd’s voice was in her ear, “How so Allie?”

  She swallowed hard, feeling his worry through their connection. Only that, and after a moment she decided he hadn’t overheard much of the conversation. Probably only the last few comments. Jason was projecting panic and she knew in a minute he’d open his mouth and start babbling and the Gods only knew what he’d say once he got started. “I just meant that…this entire situation is so complicated. I can’t think of any easy way for it to be resolved.”

  Jason looked even more shocked and she prayed he’d keep his mouth shut while sending up a simultaneous prayer that Bleidd would assume she was talking about anything else but her love life. To her relief he said “Yes, I know you feel responsible for much of the situation, even though you should not. I also know you are still hoping that Liz will be captured alive. I hope though that you are prepared for it to end badly Allie.”

  She looked away, out the window at the heavy grey clouds. “Do you think it might rain later?”

  Jason rolled his eyes. Then, as much to himself as either of them he said, “Ummm. Why don’t I walk Shawn out before he falls over?”

  Bleidd let his hand fall from her shoulder, his emotions now hesitant and uncertain. “Allie, no one wants her to die…”

  “Sure they do,” she said. “Syndra does. Jess does.”

  He sighed. “Alright. But the police and the majority of the Guard intend to capture her alive. And Jessilaen may wish her dead but he would not actively seek to harm her. He knows how much that would upset you.”

  Allie inclined her head in an elven shrug at the same time she lifted her shoulders in a human one. “I’m really tired. This meeting took a lot more out of me than I thought it would.”

  Bleidd looked for Jess who was still talking with the other Guard, then took her arm gently guiding her out of the room. “Let’s get you to bed then. You should be resting.”

  “Will you stay with me?” Allie asked, afraid to look at him, her voice shy.

  She could feel the surge of desire and longing that went through him and then was overwhelmed by an iron-clad determination. “I can’t. I have to go out. But I’m sure Jessilaen is planning to stay with you and I asked Ciaran to keep a closer eye on the house. You’ll be safe.”

  She nodded, swallowing more tears. Of course he wants to go out she thought bitterly He’s been stuck by my side for days, only leaving to go to work. He’s probably thoroughly sick of me. Wanting to get in my bed and actually dealing with me being so damn needy are two different things. She pulled her arm out of his loose grip and began limping down the hallway. “It’s okay. I understand. You go do what you wa- need to do. I can manage to get upstairs by myself.”

  “Allie,” he said, his voice equal parts tired and annoyed. They had reached the bottom of the staircase and she started to step up only to find herself swept up in his arms. She let out a small undignified sound in protest and she could feel his laughter vibrating through his chest. She clutched him tightly, burying her head against his shoulder, as he began moving quickly up the stairs towards her room. “You are so ridiculous sometimes.”

  “I’d argue,” she muttered into his t-shirt, “but I don’t feel like getting dropped right now.”

  “How about now?” he asked a moment later, his voice teasing, and then he really did drop her.

  Her heart spasmed as she fell, in the instant before she hit the mattress of her own bed. She couldn’t restrain a giggle. “Oh, that was evil.”

  He looked down at her, his amusement changing into something else entirely. She sobered as the storm of his feelings flowed through her.

  “Stay here,” he said, his voice husky. “Get some rest.”

  “Bleidd…” she whispered, not sure what she wanted to say to him.

  He hesitated, then with the uncanny speed of the Fey he bent down and kissed her, pressing his mouth against hers. Eyes closed she reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair. His tongue moved between her lips and she opened her mouth for him even as his hand found her breast. She moaned against his mouth, her free hand sliding down his body, brushing lightly across his hip…and then he was gone.

  She opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of him disappearing out the door. One fist pounded into the mattress as she was overcome by desire and frustration. “Damn!”

  ************************

  “How could you let them know it was you?” the group’s leader’s voice shook with rage. Liz had never seen her friend so angry and despite feeling that she was the one who should be angry she held her hands up in a peaceful gesture.

  “They already knew. They knew as soon as they realized it was iron poisoning,” Liz said.

  “How would they have known that?”

  “How couldn’t they hav
e?” Liz shot back, some of her own anger showing through. “When it was obvious it was poison it was pretty clear it had to have been me. No one else was there when she got sick and iron is too fast acting for her to have drunk it earlier.”

  “Why did you call the ambulance?” the leader fretted, pulling aside the heavy curtains to pear out the window. Liz knew that was a waste of time. No one was out there; the police and Guard had already checked here but they didn’t know about this secret room, a small annexed space that had long ago been sealed off from the main building. That was what made it such an ideal meeting place.

  “Of course I called an ambulance! You should have seen her, it was horrible,” Liz shuddered at the memory. “She was dying. I couldn’t sit there and watch her die.”

  “No, of course not,” the leader muttered insincerely. “But it shouldn’t have affected her so strongly. It should have just made her a little sick.”

  “Yeah, well it didn’t,” Liz said. “It was killing her. I knew it and the doctors said the same thing.”

  “Then how did she survive?”

  “She said the elves healed her,” Liz said reluctantly. It galled to admit the elves had done anything helpful.

  “I’m sure they did,” the leader sneered, her voice full of innuendo. “And I bet Allie paid for it.”

  “Hey,” Liz said, shifting uncomfortably at the implications.

  “I think we need to face the reality that she’s been subverted,” the leader said, and Liz could see her convincing herself with each word. “She’s been seduced into their beds and corrupted by their ways. Who knows what magic they’ve done on her and with her?”

  “She’s a good person,” Liz insisted stubbornly. “And she’s my cousin. We grew up together.”

  “I know that,” the leader said, her voice still hard. “We grew up together too didn’t we? But some people choose darkness and they can’t be saved.”

  Liz shifted again, the old wood creaking under her feet, not liking this line of thought. “But we need her. To tell us everything that was in the book.”

  “Yes, the book that you let her burn,” the leader said, her voice acidic.

  Liz inhaled sharply. “We’ve been over this. What was I supposed to do? And it’s all still there in her head. She has a very good memory for details she reads.”

  “Yes, and do you think she’s going to help us by telling us everything we want to know?”

  Liz looked away, knowing that Allie would never help them do anything that might hurt anybody. She was too soft for that, which is why Liz had never even tried to get her into the group. “She may eventually. When she sees that we’re right.”

  “You know she won’t unless we…persuade her.”

  “Persuade her? How? By hurting her?” Liz blanched, suddenly seeing Allie the night they’d brought her home from Walters’, pale and smelling of blood, bruised, unable to walk. She shook her head violently, her eyes still fixed on the wood grain of the wall. “No. You can’t.”

  “I think you’re losing sight of the real goal here,” the leader said carefully. “No single person matters more than success. We all have to do what we have to do to make this work.”

  Liz heard the floorboards creak as the other woman walked across the room towards her. She sighed. “I need to get out of town. Let me take Allie with me. I can make her go with me, trust me, I can. And she’ll be out of your way until this is over.”

  “I’m sorry Liz, but I have to do what’s best for the coven. I’ve done my best to cover for you every time you’ve failed but I can’t let it go this time,” the other woman’s voice didn’t sound sorry. She sounded determined and that raised the hairs on the back of Liz’s neck.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked as she turned towards the group’s leader, her friend. She looked down in dull shock at the blade in her chest, the manicured pink nails of the hand gripping the hilt. A small grunt escaped her lips but no other sound came out.

  “I’m sorry Liz. Really I am,” the leader said calmly as Liz went to her knees and then collapsed onto the floor. “You’re my best friend but I can’t let that get in the way of doing the right thing. Now that they know you’re involved they’ll find you, no matter how we try to hide you. She’ll find you for them, the same way she’s found everyone else. And they’ll get you to tell them everything, name names, point out the rest of us. Everything we’re worked for will be destroyed. I can’t let that happen. I’ll tell everyone else you’re in hiding so they won’t be upset over another death in the group. And Fred can take over for Jerry handling the sacrifices. His loyalty to you held him back before but I think he’ll be quite capable of doing what’s needed. Now that you’ll be…away. And when we get Allie don’t worry, I’ll watch out for her but she’ll tell us what we need to know. One way or another.”

  Liz looked up at her friend, her lips moving in a silent question. The other woman shook her head. “Oh honey don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same thing in my place. All that really matters is fixing the worlds. Whatever it takes.”

  ***************************

  Bleidd moved carefully through the club, ignoring the pulsing lights and blaring music. This was not a place he would have come willingly, one of the lowest of the strip clubs to be found in town and the kind of place that catered to many less than legal activities. But it was just the sort of place he was more likely to find his quarry. His eyes scanned the crowd, mostly men, both humans and Fey, who were absorbed in watching the girls dance.

  It was hard to focus knowing that Allie was finally home from the clinic. He had spent the last two days by her side, despite his own worry that she did not truly want him there. Certainly she seemed eager for him to stay but she was also still in shock over her cousin’s betrayal and gravely ill. If he closed his eyes it was all too easy to remember the last several nights spent sleeping in the narrow hospital bed with her, and sometimes with her and Jessilaen as well, Allie clinging to him, or both of them, like a child afraid of monsters under the bed. The iron poisoning may not have killed her but she had been extremely ill, unable to eat, spiking high fevers….he had stayed because he had given his word that he would and when she was delirious from the fevers and calling his name, or confessing things to him he would never have imagined from her, about how much she needed him, he was glad that he had stayed. It was still difficult though to hear her say many of the same things to Jessilaen and to know that ultimately, even if he had gotten what he wanted in a way, the Guard commander was still the one she was choosing to be with. He would forever be the friend, perhaps closer now than any friend was meant to be but still just a friend, looking in at someone else getting what he truly wanted.

  There were times, in his bitterness, he wanted to leave her there, or to go to the bar and use the balm of alcohol as he had for so many years to forget this new pain. But somehow he could not do it, not when she needed him so desperately. Even now when he had forced himself back on the trail of the Dark court agents, knowing that the threat they represented must be eliminated, part of him wanted nothing more than to go back and stay by her side. The memory of her lips pressed against his was more than a small distraction, and the knowledge that she had wanted him in her bed was a torment. He had almost lost his resolve, feeling her hand slide along his body, but somehow he had found the willpower to leave. She was too emotionally raw after the betrayals of the last few days and he could not let her do something in a moment of physical need that she would regret.

  She’d been clear for months that she preferred monogamy and equally clear that she had chosen Jessilaen, something he had not truly understood until he saw them together in the hospital. She really loved Jessilaen, and he loved her. Up until this point Bleidd had truly believed that Jessilaen did not – could not – love Allie as much as he did, and that the other elf was just fixated on enjoying the experiences associated with her. But seeing the lengths he had gone to to save her, even his willingness to give up his
exclusive claim on her if it meant she would live, had forced Bleidd to reassesses his opinion. Bleidd had left the hospital with them knowing that if he forced her to choose between them he would destroy Allie’s love for him. The past two months he had thought if only he could get her to see that he loved her more, that he was the truer, she would choose him willingly, but now he understood that Jessilaen was not the shallow affair he had assumed. She was willing enough now, in her pain and weakness, to cleave to him, but he knew how often people as young and inexperienced as Allie mistook physical love for emotional support. How could she not come to hate him if he took advantage of her current weakness to get into her bed when he was certain that was not what she really wanted? And yet he could not stop thinking about her.

  If this was the effect she had on Jessilaen he could understand much better the apparent madness that drove the other elf…

  As he slid around one of the tables in the back he found a girl blocking his way.

  She was one of the dancers, clad only in a g-string. Her long blond hair reminded him of Allie and he felt a stab of grief and desire. The girl’s eyes had the unfocused look of someone who is not sober, but her words were steady, “Hey handsome. You looking for a private party?”

  Of course Bleidd thought, weighing the girl’s offer. Most of these girls make their real money illegally. I’ve never understood the human insistence on outlawing what should be a perfectly respectable profession, or for that matter why anyone should have to pay for sex at all, but humans are such an odd people. The girl, who was more than a foot shorter than he was, reached up and put her hand on his chest, taking his silence for interest. She licked her lips leaning into him. “I’ll give you a good price and I can be really, really friendly.”

  Bleidd tilted his head to the side, There’s no harm in a slight delay he thought I could enjoy some sport with her and then get back to my hunt. I haven’t been with anyone since Allie. That thought made him wince slightly although thinking of Allie was always a pleasant thing. He started to step forward towards the girl and only then realized that his body was not cooperating with him, despite the fact that a bare few hours ago he had been more than ready to lie with Allie. He should have been more than ready now to enjoy what the girl was offering but although the mental interest was there the physical arousal was not. Such a thing had never happened to him before and he didn’t know what to do about it. He gently moved the girl’s hands away and stepped back, murmuring, “Perhaps another time.”