Dearest Dorothy, Slow Down, You're Wearing Us Out!

by Charlene Ann Baumbich

  Goose bumps flashed across Dorothy’s entire being. Dorothy knew she had heard the voice of God, and it was speaking directly to her about her own life.

  10

  Edward Showalter was a man true to his word. Katie walked from room to room flipping light switches on and off, marveling at the swiftness with which he had single-handedly—aside from a half-day of assistance from Josh and Alex, when together they pulled wire through conduit—rewired the entire house, including the installation of a circuit breaker box. Not only had he reengineered and rewired, but he’d done so in five days, and there wasn’t a mess to be found. He’d even swept the floor where he’d drilled. And thankfully for everyone involved, not a single specimen of “vermin” had dared to show its face.

  “Edward Showalter,” Katie said, curious at her ability to easily call someone by both names, “you would be in high demand if you were in the Chicago area.” Having spent her entire professional career involved in one way or another with real estate, Katie had had hundreds of occasions to deal with electricians and handymen. Never in her experience had she dealt with one so honest, thorough, swift and neat, not to mention affordable. Katie made up her mind on the spot that there would be a bonus waiting for Edward Showalter at the end of the refurbishments.

  “I’ll tell you what, Miss Durbin, you wouldn’t have said that had you known me in my drunken days. No sir, I mean ma’am. You would not have been saying that. You would have been saying, ‘Now, there’s a man who needs JESUS!’ ”

  “Oh, I doubt I would have said that,” Katie said aloud, although she hadn’t really meant to.

  Edward Showalter studied her for a moment, wiping the knuckle of his left index finger across his lips as though to zip them shut. After a few awkward moments, he shook his head up and down, obviously having made his final determination about something.

  “You say you’re good friends with Dorothy Wetstra, Miss Durbin?”

  “I’d say we’re getting to be very good friends.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Oh, just glad you know such a fine woman of God. Why, Dorothy has one of the most excellent reputations in the entire area. I’m also glad she’s got someone like you who’s looking out for her well-being by hiring the best in the business to wire what will soon become her house,” he said, winking at her while grinning from ear to ear.

  Although Katie felt there was more to his statements than he was revealing, she didn’t pursue it. Instead, she moved right on to the next order of business.

  “Would you like me to pay you for the electrical work now, or wait to give you a final payment for time and materials after you’ve seen to the other repairs?”

  “Shouldn’t take me over a couple days to finish up, unless you suddenly add quite a bit to my agenda.” He paused a moment, then repeated the word agenda, using it as its own sentence. “Strong word, isn’t it? My agenda for the day. My agenda for the week. My agenda for my life.” He pursed his lips, then got back to the topic at hand. “I reckon it would just be easiest to give me one lump sum when I’m done.” He reached into his back pocket and extracted the large leather wallet attached to his belt by a chain, then leaned against the wall as he flipped open the bill compartment and retrieved a small collection of papers. He then handed them to Katie. “Here’s my expenses so far, minus, of course, my labor. I figure we’re about right on the quoted fee, timewise, especially since those two fine young men gave me such good assistance. Now that the electricity is done and I can actually plug in my power tools without worrying I’m going to short something out and burn down the place, I’ll have the rest of your list taken care of in no time.

  “I’ve been inspecting the bathroom real good,” he went on, allowing his body to slide down the wall until he sat on the floor, “and aside from replacing a few cracked floor tiles, it really doesn’t need much more than a few new washers and a toilet float. No need for all new fixtures—you could get by with just those few fixes and a new toilet seat. Of course, a new toilet and sink would make it right nice.”

  “Yes, go ahead and get those,” Katie said without a moment of hesitation.

  “Of course, now you’ll have to let Dorothy establish if she prefers a roundie or oblongie toilet and seat.” He laughed out loud at his own observation. “I’ll tell you, some folks have to come to quite the compromise over that one!” Katie smiled a dull smile, realizing he’d gone off on a tangent—something that came naturally to Edward Showalter—that was far more entertaining to him than to Katie Durbin.

  “One thing is for sure: the whole house could use some new vents. The furnace still seems to be working fine and doesn’t appear to be more than fifteen years old, but I think I’ll have my friend Melvin Jack stop by to give it a once-over. And never you mind about paying Melvin—he owes me one. Of course, if there’s work to be done, that would be another financial story.”

  “You know,” Katie said, looking down at Edward Showalter, who rested his forearms on his drawn-up knees, “how about you take a day or two off? You look like you’re exhausted. Besides, it will give me a chance to go over some final details with Dorothy concerning her decisions about carpet and ceiling fans…and toilet shapes and such.”

  “Miss Durbin, that sounds like a great idea to me,” he said, removing his camouflage hat with “Jesus Saves” printed across the front and wiping his brow and lips with the white handkerchief he pulled from his shirt pocket. He briefly studied the dirty smears the handkerchief had captured before stuffing it back into his shirt pocket. “Let’s see, this here is Friday…how about you phone me at home Sunday afternoon and we’ll go over the list. I’ll be here first thing Monday morning, then, unless I need to get me to Hethrow first for supplies. Yes, Sunday afternoon would be perfect. That way we’ll both have a chance to get to church, get to lunch, then think about getting back to work on Monday.”

  “Right,” Katie said, beginning to believe that Edward Showalter had an agenda for her on his mind, and that it had nothing to do with home repairs.

  Although the City Slicker Crew, as they’d come to refer to themselves, had been in town more than a week already, Alex had no trouble clearing another week or so away from home. His mom loved hearing the lilt in his voice and was happy for her son to have a “real country experience.” She said, “Just bring us back a batch of fresh air when you come.” Josh, of course, was thrilled. And at the very least, they’d now get to attend another ball game. Although he’d kept his eyes peeled at all times for a Wild Musketeers Catcher Sighting off the field, he had done so to no avail.

  Katie had busied herself the last few days working with lawyer Rick Lawson on Aunt Tess’s final trust documents. Thankfully, she’d unearthed the originals from the bottom of one of the huge boxes of paperwork—and there were still two more to sort through—they’d hauled back to Chicago after their first trip. Although most of the papers were junk mail and decades-old bills, she was thankful to discover that Aunt Tess had kept all the legal documents together, even though she’d stored them in a shipping envelope in which she’d received catalog items from JCPenney.

  Between Katie’s large legal firm in Chicago and the peculiar, somewhat hokey, disorganized, yet oddly thorough and cooperative Rick Lawson here in Partonville (Dorothy had been his saxophone teacher in high school, and he was now her one and only lawyer), final sale papers on both properties and land trusts for the Crooked Creek Park were at last all in order. Katie had held her breath while Jacob Henry, Dorothy’s older son, who was a lawyer in Philadelphia, went over all the faxed documents. Katie got the feeling he was worried that his mom was being taken advantage of. Actually, Katie was glad Dorothy’s sons would find out how fair she was being.

  Closing would take place in one week, after final walk-throughs at each piece of real estate. Katie had drawn up farm papers stating that she would accept all conditions “as is” and postpone possession until whenever the farm became available; a clause had be
en added to the Vine Street sale guaranteeing something to the effect that any and all discovered problems would be remedied prior to the closing, with a ninety-day follow-up period after Dorothy moved in—whenever that would be—to repair any thus-far unknown inadequacies. It was the most liberal and unusual set of terms Katie had ever agreed to, and yet it was she who wanted to cover all the bases, including her own. Although she had surprised herself by determining to move to the farm, at least for the time being, she didn’t want to risk any unforeseen circumstances stopping this sale, what with Crooked Creek Farm being the most prime development property contingent to Hethrow. In fact, she had concluded it was undoubtedly the jewel of the county.

  The last thing she had to do was break the news to Joshua that they would be moving. Although it appeared clear that he was blossoming here, one could apparently never be sure about the reaction of a fifteen-year-old. And then it hit her: Josh’s sixteenth birthday was tomorrow!

  The Partonville troops were activated! Once word among Dorothy’s best friends had spread about the small surprise party, people insisted on their particular roles, saying it was a great chance to use their gifts—although Arthur surely never used that term. Setting: Dorothy’s front porch. Decorations: Maggie and Jessica. Birthday cake and all other sweets: May Belle. Property setup: Earl. Extra lawn chairs: Jessie and Arthur. Hot dogs and chips all around: Lester K. Biggs. Games: Alex. Nellie Ruth said she’d pray for nice weather. Katie instructed each of them to bring their receipts, since she wanted to be hosting the party, although she had nothing to do physically to prepare but come up with a gift.

  It was determined that the birthday party would immediately follow the ball game. And it would be a surprise…sort of. Although in front of Josh everyone would be talking about the spontaneous picnic after the game, everyone but him would know the real reason. Katie made them all promise there’d be no gifts lest someone think the City Slicker was pulling a fast one just to take home some booty.

  “Stee-rike three!” the umpire yelled, causing Jessie to whirl on her heels in disbelief. “Raymond Ringwald! You know for a FACT that was low and away! You better get you some new glasses.”

  “Now, Jessie. If it’s true my strike zone has expanded a bit today, you can be sure when you’re pitching, it will be exactly the same size. I bet I won’t hear you complaining then.”

  Jessie shot him a fiery eyeball, tossed the bat to the ground, stomped to the bench, slammed a couple of gulps of water from her sports bottle, grabbed her mitt and headed toward the mound. “Get ready, Shelby,” she said. “Three up, three down. I feel it in my bones.”

  “Right,” Shelby said, then swatted Jessie on the rump with the back of her hand. “Let’s get ’em!” Just before Shelby went into her squat for warm-up, she looked into the bleachers. Josh couldn’t believe it: she smiled at him. Directly at him. Having witnessed the event, Alex poked him so hard in the ribs that it caused Josh to grab his stomach. Nothing like appearing like a wimp. Unbeknownst to Josh, Dorothy had told Maggie, who had told Shelby, that Josh had been on the lookout for her ever since he’d arrived back in town. And truth be told, she thought he was pretty cute, too.

  Josh leaned forward in the backseat as far as the seat belt would allow, trying to comb his hair in his mom’s rearview mirror. It had taken all the courage he could muster after the game to ask Shelby if she’d like to come to the picnic. Oddly, she already seemed to know about it. He figured her exotic “Grammie M,” as Shelby referred to her, must have told her. And yes, she would certainly be there—smile, smile. Why on earth Mom needed to stop at Your Store after the game, then disappear into her motel room for twenty minutes to “freshen up” for a picnic, was beyond Josh. All he knew was that he wanted to get there, and now he felt late. Alex just grinned and shook his head, watching his friend try to redo his hair time after time.

  “Give it up, Joshmeister. Your hair just has a life of its own today.”

  Once they pulled up close to the front of the farmhouse, Josh couldn’t believe how organized everything already looked. And what was that banner strung across the front porch? He began to read the bold-lettered, multicolored, spatter-painted words out loud: HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY JOSHMEISTER! Then he noticed streamers hanging from tree limbs, chairs with colorful throw pillows arranged in a circle and Sarah Sue sleeping soundly in a basket under a tree, Sheba curled up next to the basket. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME?” Josh asked in full voice.

  Alex burst out laughing. “Boy, we got you good, didn’t we?”

  Josh was stunned; he’d thought no one had remembered his birthday. Before Katie had even stopped the Lexus, everyone ran under the banner. Dorothy, ever the music instructor, lifted her hand high in the air and gave the downbeat, then everyone began singing “Happy Birthday.” Everyone including Shelby, who stood right in the front. Although she still wore her Wild Musketeers T-shirt and had dirt streaks up her leg from sliding into third, she had let down her ponytail, and her golden hair actually appeared illuminated by the sun. Earl stood toward the back, eyes mostly downward but lips occasionally moving to the “Happy Birthday” song.

  Josh got out of the Lexus, face as red as a beet, reluctant to move toward the gang. Alex jogged up behind him and started pushing him toward the little crowd of people. “Okay, can we EAT now?” Alex asked loudly. “I’m starving! Enough with the Birthday Boy stuff already.”

  “Dogs are almost ready,” Lester said as he poked at the red-hots on the barbecue grill.

  “Sodas are in the Landerses’ giant cooler over there,” Dorothy said as she strolled toward Josh. He stood frozen, just taking it all in. Dorothy, dressed in pink from her head to her shoelaces, threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug, then a kiss on the cheek. “Sweet sixteen! Remember this moment, Josh, because the next thing you know, you’ll be an oldster like me!”

  “Dorothy, if I can be like you when I’m an oldster, I’m not worried.”

  Katie stood off to the side, watching and listening to this exchange. It occurred to her that she spent way too much time worrying about aging. It occurred to her that her son was very handsome and that she was, at this moment, feeling happier than she’d felt in a very long time. When Jessica Joy walked up beside her and put her arm around her waist, then whispered, “Behold, your baby,” it occurred to Katie that life was too short to stay locked in anger over ex-husbands and days gone by, and that new friends were priceless.

  It also suddenly occurred to her that Dorothy had given only one cheer at the game. When Dorothy finished smooching Josh on the cheek and giving him one last hug, Katie watched her slowly walk over to the porch and plop herself down on the swing, reach into her pocket and, with a look of concern on her face, slip something into her mouth.

  The hairs on the back of Katie’s neck stood up, and an odd thought flashed into her mind: she was glad Dorothy’s sons and grandchildren would, in the not too distant future, be arriving to help with the sorting/sifting/selling/auction/moving process. Dorothy was such a spunky character that it was easy to forget she was eighty-seven years old.

  The sun was beginning to sink into the horizon by the time it was Shelby’s turn to play the one and only game Alex had come up with. She was last to try her hand at Pin the Grin on the Joshmeister. Out of poster board, Alex had made a caricature outline—something he was very good at—of Josh’s face, including everything but the mouth. They’d taped the face to the side of the barn with duct tape. Of course, Alex drew Josh’s detached mouth with a ridiculous, wide-open grin, one tooth missing in the front. One by one, folks were blindfolded, turned around, then headed in the direction of Josh’s poster-board head. People got hysterical, seeing the grin land between his eyes, on his chin, next to his ear. Earl stood back under a tree and watched; blindfolds weren’t for him. But he did smile on occasion at the silliness. Much to everyone’s surprise, even Arthur and Lester each took a turn.

  But now it was Shelby’s turn. Alex blindfolded her, handed her the grin—upside dow
n, of course—then spun her around. Rather than facing her toward the head on the barn, however, he aimed her right at the living Josh. Everyone laughed as she headed toward him, his ridiculous paper grin extended in front of her. Although Josh was embarrassed, somehow the idea of Shelby coming straight toward him kept him from letting her in on the trick.

  Suddenly, her hand reached his chest and she drew back when she realized she had touched fabric rather than poster board and that everyone was hysterical with laughter. She ripped the blindfold off and discovered what they’d all been up to. Without batting an eye, she took the paper grin and taped it right over Josh’s mouth. Everyone broke out in wild applause as the two of them also erupted in peals of laughter. Although you couldn’t actually see Josh’s real smile behind the poster board one, his eyes twinkled just about the merriest his mom had ever seen.

  By the time the laughter wound down and people started making noises about heading home, Katie announced she’d first like for Josh to open his gift from her. She ran to the Lexus and withdrew a plain brown box about as big as a basketball, then handed it to Josh, giving him a motherly peck on the cheek, something she hadn’t done since he’d turned six years old. “I hope you like this,” she said with sincerity. Josh walked over to the food table, cleared a spot and set the box down. Cautiously, he opened the lid. A puzzled look settled on his face as he reached down in the box and withdrew a metal colander and a fishnet such as you’d find in a pet store. Quizzically, he held them up, shrugged his shoulders and looked at his mom.