White is for Virgins

by Necks, S. Eva

  I couldn’t decide if he believed me or not; all I was sure of was that when I was with Fox we either had conversations involving sexual references, or we didn’t talk at all.

  I hoped Nick wouldn’t tell Fox what really happened yesterday; I’d kissed him on the cheek. It was a chaste little thank you and I had blushed like mad afterward.

  Fox didn’t need to know that. I figured he wouldn’t care.

  Chapter 21

  Enough was enough. Nick, as awesome as he was, was a totally different person around Lily and Fox. It was like he was trying to impress them. And they weren’t any better, sitting all close and talking suggestively.

  I stabbed at my salad.

  “Is anyone going to tell me what’s been going on?” I asked as soon as I’d swallowed a bite.

  The table was silent. And quite frankly, I didn’t care anymore. I deserved answers.

  Nick stared at the deep blue hue of the lunch table. Fox was glaring at Nick, while Lily was staring at me, fearfully.

  Nothing.

  “Because I’m done humoring you all,” I stated. I found that when I was angry I was a force to be reckoned with. “This is immature, and I’m done. What’s this all about?” I demanded.

  Fox opened his mouth as if to say something, but he closed it and ran a hand through his hair instead. I shook my head, looking right at Lily.

  “Nick wouldn’t tell me what went on between you two,” I told her, “But considering we were each other’s only friends here, I figured you’d have the decency to tell me. I didn’t want to push you Lily, but not knowing bothers me.”

  Her eyes watered, and she put her face in her hands. I could hear her breathing from across the table.

  “Nick won’t tell me anything, Lily doesn’t trust me, and I sure as hell can’t count on you,” I muttered as I glared at Fox.

  My strength was wearing thin, thank God the lunch period was almost over and it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving weekend.

  I got up and headed for the exit, dumping my salad into the trash can on the way.

  I paced through the empty hallway, but it wasn’t long before I heard someone behind me. A strong hand gripped my arm and spun me around.

  “Done playing this game?” he asked, “You seemed pretty damn into it on Monday.”

  “That’s because I was pissed that you started all this shit and got me dragged into it!”

  “I set it up, Lily took the bait, and Nick sure as hell did too,” he explained.

  “As if that justifies what you did!” I countered, “Screwing with your friends like that is sick, Fox. Why can’t you ever just mind your own damn business?”

  “I was only screwing with them to get them to admit they were stupid in the past and that they still fucking care about each other!”

  “And you think Nick would get jealous by seeing Lily with you? If anything, he’d get angry that you’re moving in on his ex. You weren’t all that believable Fox, that came out of nowhere.”

  “Obviously he did get jealous, because he asked you out,” Fox said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked through my teeth.

  “It means he was trying to get even,” he explained.

  “That doesn’t make any sense, I can’t compare to Lily. If anything, it ruined our friendship, because I broke the girl code,” I said in a shaky, but still furious tone.

  “Emery, it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said, a bit calmer. He lifted my chin so I was looking up at him.

  Just as the space between us slowly started to decrease, something snapped.

  “Well it did, Fox. That’s what happens when you fuck around with people’s feelings,” I growled, “Lily probably hates me now. All I wanted was to get by this year, maybe make a few friends… Why are you making that so goddamn hard for me?”

  Before Fox could say anything else, I wiped my eyes and walked towards the girl’s room. From behind the door I heard the bell ring. It not only signaled the end of lunch, but the end of the game.

  ***

  “Corn? Mashed Potatoes?” I asked, blowing at the small wisp of hair escaping my hair net.

  The woman nodded slightly, and I asked if she wanted gravy. She shook her head and moved on. Seeing her look so solemn put a dent in the whole point of this Thanksgiving. This was about forgetting your hardships for a day, and celebrating what you were grateful for.

  I forced a brighter smile and continued to supply people’s trays with vegetables and starches and sauces.

  When everyone had a full plate and plastic utensils, I rid myself of the annoying hair net and apron. I hoped I still had a chance of reviving my hair. I went to the bathroom - a small, murky green colored room that smelled like cleaning products and cheap soap. The mirror was adequate, and I quickly applied some powder to make my face less shiny. My hair was surprisingly just as it’d been the second I put the curling iron down.

  Smiling, I hastily opened the door and went back to the dining hall. Before I made it fully out the door however, I collided with someone.

  “Oh, I’m so sorr–” I started, but paused when I realized Fox was looking back at me. I didn’t waste a second walking around him and returning to Nina.

  I was so unbelievably frustrated. If they only knew how stupid I felt. Taking Nick’s bait, letting Lily just go about her merry way pretending to date Fox – I should’ve said something earlier. I should’ve… ugh!

  I tried to shove everything aside and focus on sharing Thanksgiving with all of these people. They had it so much worse, I needed to stop being so selfish.

  While everyone was eating and talking amongst themselves, Nina and I pulled up beside a table and joined in.

  As interesting as the current conversation on politics and Obama’s plans for change was, I got distracted.

  All the children were flocking to the far right corner, where a guy was sitting hunched over his guitar. He shook his white-blonde hair and offered everyone a smile as he started lightly strumming the guitar.

  The flex of his fingers and the way he shook his head ever so slightly as he kept his rhythm had me paralyzed. I fumbled with my fork and scooped up something from my plate. Most of it made my mouth, but a drop of something warm hit my khaki pants.

  My gaze moved down to my pants, just as Fox looked over in my direction. Shit! A gravy stain the size of a dime was splattered on my right thigh.

  I sighed and excused myself as I got up from the table. I sat on a cold metal chair in the lobby, needing to get away from that music. I crossed my arms and dropped my head.

  I heard the shuffling in the seat next to me, and slowly picked my head up. I swiped the curls from my face and instantly wished I hadn’t.

  “Why aren’t you in there with everyone else?” Fox asked.

  “Because I can’t stand people right now,” I muttered.

  We sat there for a bit, until he sighed in defeat.

  “You wanna know what happened between them?” he asked angrily.

  I didn’t say anything, because he knew my answer.

  “There was a party,” he began. I snorted. Isn’t there always a party?

  “They both got really drunk, and said some things they shouldn’t have said, and got into a huge fight,” he said. I shook my head, how typical.

  “Let me guess,” I interrupted, “They both slept with other people.”

  Fox glared at me. “No, I made sure they didn’t do that,” he said, knowing exactly how to make me feel stupid. I waited for him to continue.

  “Nick and Lily got in his car after a few hours, and he went to drive her home,” Fox said, “I shouldn’t have let them go… but they seemed completely fine.”

  My mouth gaped in horror, but I didn’t dare say anything.

  “Nick ended up hitting a tree, and they both went to the hospital,” he continued, breathing a little hard, “Lily hurt her leg; Nick got a few cuts on his face. But he couldn’t bear to see her, and she stayed away from him.”


  I bit my lip as I peeked at him from the corner of my eye.

  “They got back together, and then all of a sudden Lily broke up with him with some bullshit excuse that things weren’t working,” he finished. “He never accepted it. I don’t see how anyone would. People stopped talking to her.”

  “Oh wow,” I murmured.

  “Yeah,” he sighed, “It wasn’t easy for them, so don’t hate them for not telling you.”

  I nodded, but something clicked in my head that made me jump to my feet.

  “You really are sick,” I accused, “You had no right to just drag them into such a painful past… you’re so–” I paused.

  “So what?” he pressed.

  “So heartless,” I said, shaking my head.

  ***

  .3rd PERSON POV.

  Fox felt so misunderstood. Yes, he had no right in toying with Nick and Lily’s relationship, but he hated seeing them stand there with so many matters unsolved, so many thoughts unsaid.

  He hated even more so that Emery could only see the bad in him. Why did it bother him that she hated him so much?

  He almost reached out and brushed the loose curl from her eye, but he stood up and kept his hands respectively at his side.

  “You’re only making me out to be heartless, Emery,” he reasoned. “You honestly think I asked Lily out to make Nick angry and to take advantage of her? You think I wanted to bring back all this shit just to watch it eat at them?”

  She just stood there, glaring at him. He was so angry; he wanted her to see his side of it.

  “This doesn’t make any sense, Fox,” she murmured, “That was so freakin stupid of you…”

  “I was trying to make them face what they’d been avoiding for the entire year!” he explained, “I caught them looking at each other all the time, it made me sick watching them sit there and not face their problems.”

  “But it was their choice! If I had known, I would’ve stayed away from you and Nick and your stupid master plan,” she said, raising her voice, “Because it basically cost me my only friend.”

  “You can talk it out with her,” he said calmly. “You can work it all out.”

  She started crying again, and Fox closed the space between them and held her small frame. She reluctantly returned the hug, he barely felt her there.

  “I feel so stupid,” she murmured into his dark green dress shirt.

  “Don’t,” he said, resting his chin on her soft head.

  She pulled away, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

  He smirked. Her smile faded just as quickly as it came.

  “I still think what you did was wrong,” she admitted.

  “I guess I’ll just have to live with that,” he replied.

  Chapter 22

  I twirled Holly around in circles, sending her into giggling fits and threatening her balance on those wobbly legs. Her small hand gripped my index finger tightly as I continued to spin her around.

  “She’s gonna throw up,” an unmistakable, velvety voice warned behind me, “All over you.”

  “Your brother loves ruining your fun, kid,” I muttered with a slight grin to Holly. She looked heartbroken as I cut our little dance short and scooped her up.

  “I swear, you’re corrupting my favorite sister,” Fox huffed sarcastically, taking Holly from me. He was so incredibly gorgeous when he was pretending to be serious…

  Disregarding the thoughts that were roaming through my mind, I pressed my lips into a straight line, waving at Holly.

  Fox waved along with her, and then they left the daycare. I was free to go myself, but I was too interested in watching Fox and Holly. Excluding the growing smile on my face, I didn’t move a muscle as he lifted Holly in the air and spun around. She was laughing, and he was smiling, and I felt a pang of jealously for a moment.

  He was a good brother, and she was the most loving little sister… Even though their parents were high in status, they still had each other. Nina was starting her own family. Meanwhile my parents’ supposed love “‘til death do they part” was crumbling.

  I was alone. And it sucked.

  I sighed as I shoved my mocha-colored, oversized pullover over my head, ruining my ponytail in the process. As I pulled the hair tie from my hair and ruffled it up, I signed out of the daycare.

  The autumn wind was strong and frigid against my skin. With numb fingers I tucked my hair into my hood. But that was a pointless move, because as soon as I shoved my hands into my pockets the hood was knocked off my head. I sighed and stared up at the sky in defeat.

  “Need a ride, Miss?” a husky voice said from behind the wheel of a dark Lamborghini.

  I stared at my feet for a moment as I considered his offer. Against my better judgment I took his proposal. Only after I’d buckled my seatbelt and he’d set off in the opposite direction of my house did I realize I should’ve just walked home.

  Lily’s house came into view, and I stared straight ahead with a clenched jaw.

  Fox stopped the car, and turned to look at me.

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked with anger building.

  “Because watching you guys try to ignore each other for a whole week has been extremely painful,” he muttered. I glared at him coldly.

  “You really can’t mind your own business, can you?” I asked him.

  He smirked and shook his head genuinely. I ran a hand through my hair and willed myself to look out the window.

  “Lemme see if I understand – I’m just gonna bust into her house, apologize because she decided to keep things from me, and then we hug and it’ll all be alright? Is that how it’s gonna play out?” I asked in a bitchy tone.

  “That sounds about right, smartass,” he nodded, following my sarcastic tone.

  I scowled, staring into his emerald eyes as I tried to decode him. Fox was... complicated. Indescribable. Annoying beyond compare. Yet… he was also intuitive. To him, there always seemed to be an answer. He got in your business and told you how to fix your problems.

  I loathed him for that. Or at least, I wanted to.

  “I’ll be at Nick’s house,” he said softly. I almost cringed. Nick. “I’ve got unfinished business with him, too.”

  I nodded, reaching for the door handle. I can’t believe I’m actually doing what he’s telling me to do. “When you’re done, just come get me. I’ll take you home.”

  Biting my lip, I waved at Holly behind the window. She smiled, giving me a small spark of hope as I turned and went for the front door. I held my breath as I rang the doorbell. There was no turning back.

  ***

  “I wanted to apologize,” I started, feeling constricted as I tried to break the ice between us.

  “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said in a weak voice, daring to look me in the eyes. She looked helpless.