Ruin Me: A Sister’s Best Friend Angsty New Adult Romance (Hawthorn Hills Duet Book 3)

by Claire Raye

  But what would’ve happened then? What would she think when we woke up this morning, our brains no longer clouded by alcohol or the weird tension I know we were both feeling. Would she have regretted it? I’m not sure I could handle that if she did.

  Reid smiles, pulling his hand away as he picks up the fresh coffee he poured. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he says. “Anyway, I gotta go wake your sister up.” He grins as he shoots me a wink.

  “Fuck off,” I murmur as I shove him away. “I’m going to take a shower so I don’t have to listen to it.”

  The sound of Reid’s laughter echoes through the kitchen as he takes the coffee and disappears back into their bedroom.

  By the time I get to the bar for my shift, I’m feeling a lot better. After my shower, I managed to get a couple of extra hours of sleep on the couch, the house quiet and the warm sunlight streaming through the windows somehow managing to keep the nightmares at bay.

  I’d gone for a quick run too, unfortunately alone, after Ruby had texted to say her group project thing needed some work and everyone was meeting up at the library to work on it. Then I grabbed something to eat and headed into work.

  It felt weird not seeing Ruby all day and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I missed her.

  “Dude,” Adam says, wandering over and slapping me on the back. “You hear the manager’s position is opening up here?”

  “Really?” I ask.

  Adam nods, that permanent smile he seems to have, plastered on his face. “Yeah, you should go for it.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Aren’t you going to?”

  Adam laughs. “Nah, that’s not my bag. Too much responsibility,” he says, chuckling. “But this is what you used to do, right? Back in Rhode Island?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then you should go for it,” he says. “Better pay, better hours, better job title for picking up the ladies.”

  I let out a laugh. “Yeah, right, like that’s a real selling point.”

  “Come on, you know it is,” he says, grinning as he turns to the door. “Oh, speaking of ladies,” he adds, his eyes lighting up.

  I turn to see what’s caught his interest, my eyes widening as Sienna and Ruby walk in, their eyes scanning the room. When they see me, they both wave as they make their way toward the bar, pulling up a stool each.

  “Hey,” Sie says, smiling at me.

  “Hi,” I reply, glancing at Ruby who smiles at me. “No Reid?” I ask, wondering where he is.

  Sienna shakes her head. “He’s at football practice. Might swing by after.”

  I open my mouth to speak just as Adam wanders over, placing a napkin down in front of them as he says, “What’ll be ladies?” His accent seemingly thicker all of a sudden as though he knows this is his biggest selling point.

  “Yeah, I got this,” I say, holding a hand up. “Adam, this is my sister Sienna,” I say, emphasizing the word. “You remember her right? And this is her best friend Ruby.”

  “Ohhhh.” Adam grins. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you,” he bullshits. “And of course, the first drink is on me, so what’ll be?” he asks, apparently ignoring my request.

  I roll my eyes, trying to ignore the sudden wave of jealousy that courses through me as he turns his attention from my sister to Ruby and waits for her to speak. Because while he might know my sister is dating my best friend and very much off-limits, he doesn’t know about Ruby.

  But I’m fucked if I’m letting him think she’s an option.

  Chapter Seven

  Ruby

  Caleb’s demeanor changes instantly when the cute Aussie bartender walks up and it makes me giggle just a little to see how obviously jealous he is. Hilarious because when I basically throw myself at him, he acts like he isn’t interested. I swear it feels like he’s been avoiding me ever since that sort of kiss we shared last night, but honestly we both had had a lot to drink and were bordering on making a mistake. I almost forced us to cross a line that I don’t think either of us really wanted to cross. Caleb is struggling a ton with what I assume is PTSD, but I would never tell him that, not wanting him to think I’m out here diagnosing him.

  And I have school to focus on, especially after what happened with my most recent grade, I don’t need anything or anyone distracting me from what I’m here to do. I’m here to get my degree and land myself my dream job. I don’t want to get tangled up in a relationship anyway.

  But when I look up from my drink, Caleb’s eyes watching me, I smile. He’s really damn cute and there’s just something about him that makes me comfortable, makes me feel like I can be myself. Maybe it’s his connection to Sienna and the similarities in their personalities or maybe it’s just one of those things. Sometimes people enter your life and it’s like they were always there. It feels like Caleb was meant to be here.

  Adam hangs around a little longer listening to our conversation, but it’s nothing spectacular and when a few more customers walk in, he leaves to serve them.

  “Adam seems nice,” I say and Sienna nods in agreement.

  “Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” Caleb acknowledges and that flash of jealousy I saw earlier seems to have faded.

  “How’s it been going here?” Sienna asks, looking around the bar, her lips turning down a little as I catch a hint of sadness in her tone. It must be hard for her and Caleb to look around a place like this and not think of what they lost. It also must be hard for Caleb to take a step back from owning a bar to being the one serving the drinks.

  “Pretty good. Adam mentioned they’re looking for a manager so I think I’m going to ask the owner about the position,” Caleb tells us, his eyes shining a little at the prospect of regaining some of his independence in a job he knows like the back of his hand.

  I also think it will be good for him, for his mental health to have something he feels good about. He needs to have an outlet and maybe taking on more responsibility will be it. I know Sienna asked me to talk to him about how he’s feeling, but I still have yet to work up the courage to broach the subject with him. The last thing I want is for him to think Sie and I have been talking about him behind his back.

  “That would be fucking awesome,” Sienna says. “You’re way over qualified for this job anyway and you could probably help bring some new ideas to this dingy place.” Sienna wrinkles up her nose as she looks around the old bar. “What they need is some better drink specials, so work on that.”

  “I’m already on it. Dollar Guinness aren’t exactly a huge draw to the college crowd, but most of you are poor as fuck so you drink it anyway. I see why the owner just runs with it.”

  “I hate Guinness,” I say, slipping into the conversation. “Anything would be better than that.”

  “Of course you hate it, Ruby,” Caleb says, his voice taking on a teasing quality. “You’re far too boujee for cheap booze.”

  “That’s not why I hate it. It just tastes gross,” I defend, crossing my arms over my chest in mock insult.

  “You are kinda boujee,” Sienna says, jumping in and making me shoot her a what-the-fuck look.

  “Please. You’re as boujee as they come.”

  We spend a couple hours at the bar with Caleb chatting while he serves customers, but when business starts to pick up, Sienna and I head home. But I know exactly what time he gets home and even though things have seemed a little off with us since that almost-kiss, I’ll be up waiting for him.

  The hours pass slowly, but when I hear the back door creak open around two a.m. I act like I haven’t been waiting for him. What I’ve learned about Caleb in the short time we’ve been living together is that he can’t go right to sleep when he gets off work. He needs to wind down and that usually involves a shower and then watching TV.

  Caleb and I have been sharing a bathroom for the last few days because it’s hard with Reid living here off and on, and Sienna needing the bathroom, not to mention Reid and Sienna’s affliction for having way too much sex in the shower.
It sort of just became a natural pattern that we fell into and I don’t mind sharing it with him. It gives Sienna and Reid some space, and Caleb then doesn’t have to worry about possibly walking in on them.

  “Hey Ruby,” he says, the room lighting up a little as he opens the fridge. I hear the opening of the beer bottle and then his footsteps as he enters the living room.

  “How was your night?” I ask as he lets out a long sigh.

  “Pretty good. Got solidly busy after you and Sie left, so tips were good. As good as can be expected for a college bar,” he jokes, rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders.

  “Yeah, we tend to be pretty cheap,” I tease back. “Were you able to talk with the owner about the manager job?”

  “He came in just as we were closing up and I mentioned it to him. I’m hoping he realizes I can take a ton of stress off him if he gives me the job.”

  “I’m sure he will. You’ve only been there a few weeks and it’s already running better than it was before. Plus I think it will be good for you.”

  The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them and Caleb cocks his head to the side, giving me a questioning look. It’s almost like all of us are dancing around the elephant in the room, like if we mention that Caleb is having issues it will become something even bigger. It’s bullshit and acting like it isn’t happening is only going to make things worse.

  “So…yeah…I guess I was talking about how you’ve been having trouble sleeping, the nightmares, and well…” I trail off as he just looks at me saying nothing.

  Fuck…

  He drags a hand through his hair, letting out another long exhale and I’m pretty sure I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

  “It’s kinda refreshing,” he finally says, chuckling a little. “You’re the only one who will fucking say it. I’m getting sick of Sie and Reid asking me if I’m okay all the time. Clearly I’m not fucking okay.” He blows out a hard breath and with it comes almost a moan of relief. “So thanks for saying it out loud because I’m not okay and I am having a fucking hard time.”

  “I know you are and if you want to talk to me, I’m here.”

  “Thanks, Ruby, but you know I’m not going to seek you out, so if you want me to talk, then you have to start the conversation.”

  His words are harsh, but there’s nothing mean or accusing about them. It’s a frustration that has obviously been building within him, something he tries to control but can’t.

  “What do you think the worst part is?” I ask, keeping the question simple but also open-ended to see if I can get him to elaborate.

  He pauses, letting my question sink in, searching his brain for how to answer. I’m sure there are a million thoughts swirling in his head as he tries to pluck out the one that will answer what I’ve asked.

  “The fear,” he now says. “I’ve never been afraid in my whole life until now. I never understood people who are afraid of the dark or afraid of storms. It seemed so irrational to me, but once you have your privacy invaded, your life taken from you, fear is all you know.”

  “The fear of the unknown?” I ask, wondering if he just fears things he can’t control.

  “Yeah, that and this stupid irrational fear that Reid’s psycho dad is somehow going to get to me, find me here and…” He doesn’t finish his thought because we both know what he was going to say.

  “You had your life violated in unspeakable ways. It would make anyone afraid. It’s not something that just goes away overnight. Maybe you could talk—”

  “I’m not ready for that yet,” he says, his words sharp and cutting me off. I nod my head letting him know I hear him and I won’t push things any further.

  “What can I do to help?” I ask, not wanting to sound too motherly. I know how Sienna hates it when I act like her mom, so I’m sure Caleb is no different.

  “You do so much already, Ruby, seriously. You may not even realize it, but when I get off work and you’re up, it helps me wind down. Falling asleep with you on the couch that night, it was huge. That was the first night I slept through without a nightmare in months.”

  I smile at him, sympathy radiating from me, but I hold back in saying anything more. I want to walk over and wrap my arms around him, hold him until he feels safe again. It must be fucking awful to live like he is.

  “Being friends with you has been one of the best things that’s happened to me in so long. I had no one back in Providence because the idea of bringing anyone into my life was scary as hell. I worried about them getting wrapped up in what I was dealing with.” He stops, shaking his head a little and closes his eyes, leaving them like that for a heartbeat, like he’s remembering his life back in Providence. “Your friendship means a lot to me. Just you being here means so much.”

  “Of course. I’m always here for you, Caleb. We’re friends.” Even as I say the words, I know I want to be more than friends with him. There’s more here than just friendship, but we both know he isn’t ready for it. He can’t bring me into his life when he constantly worries about protecting himself. He loves fiercely and I can see that in his relationship with Reid and Sienna, so adding me to the mix will only be unneeded stress.

  “Thanks, Ruby,” he says, standing up and walking over to where I’m sitting, he bends down and kisses the top of my head. It’s a gesture so simple and so small, but I understand all that it means coming from him. “I’m going to go take a quick shower.” He motions toward our now shared bathroom. “You need to get in there first for anything?”

  “Nope, already washed my face and brushed my teeth.”

  “Ok cool. You’re far lower maintenance than Sienna, by the way, so thanks for letting me share your bathroom.”

  “No problem and I was starting to get worried you might walk in on those two and no one needs to see that.” I stick my tongue out and make a fake gagging noise that causes Caleb to smile in response.

  “This is so true. I would make so much noise walking down the hallway toward the bathroom and pounding on the door if it was closed.” He also makes a funny face, widening his eyes as if he’s appalled by their actions. “You gonna be up when I get out?” he asks now.

  “Yeah, I’ll wait up a bit. I recorded House Hunters International,” I tell him. It’s a show we’ve now started watching together late at night when there are no movies on.

  “Oh yes!” he replies with such an exaggerated excitement that it makes me laugh. “Where are they this time?”

  “Bali!” I reply back with flourish and Caleb throws a fist into the air, mouthing the word, “yes,” as he turns toward the bathroom.

  He’s in and out in less than ten minutes and we take in the quick thirty-minute episode of House Hunters International discussing as we do if we could ever move to Bali. It’s what we do as we watch, talk about all the places we’d love to live someday. It’s kind of become our thing and I love it.

  Caleb yawns next to me, stretching his arms over his head and I take it as a suggestion that it’s time for bed.

  “I’m gonna go…” I start, but stop, a thought crossing my mind. “Would you want to sleep in my room?” I ask, wondering if maybe he’d feel more comfortable, less nervous if he had the security of a room with a door.

  “Don’t be silly, Ruby. I’m not making you sleep on the couch.”

  “I don’t have to sleep on the couch. I have a queen size bed and I’m happy to share it with you.” My intentions are nothing but the best and I have no thoughts that this would mean anything more than just me trying to help Caleb sleep better.

  “Ruby…”

  “Seriously, Caleb. Nothing but sleeping unless you don’t think you can handle sharing a bed with a girl,” I tease, dragging out the word girl at the end of my sentence.

  “I can share a bed with a girl. I’m not fifteen,” he jokes back, shooting me an uneven smile along with a tsk on a hard exhale.

  “So what do you say, roomie? Maybe you’ll sleep better.”

  “And maybe I’ll ruin any good
night’s sleep you’ll have,” he replies, a more serious tone now. “I have nightmares, you know that. I could have one and wake you up.”

  “I’m willing to risk it.”

  “Fine, okay,” he concedes, as a small sigh of relief leaves his lips and I know he thinks I didn’t hear it. “But if I’m impossible to sleep with you need to tell me to get my ass back on the couch.”

  “Deal.”

  Chapter Eight

  Caleb

  Despite my earlier assurances, the second Ruby closes the door and we find ourselves alone in her bedroom, I start to second guess whether I really can share a bed with her after all. She wasn’t lying when she said she had a queen size bed, but right now, the thing looks fucking tiny and all I can think about is how the hell I’m going to sleep beside her without touching her.

  Or more.

  “I’m just gonna go put my PJs on,” she says, grabbing a bundle from her bed. “Make yourself at home, or…” she waves a hand around, trailing off.

  I nod, watching as she walks out of the room again, leaving the door slightly ajar this time. I turn and take in my new surroundings, the one room in this house I have yet to venture into.

  Everything in it just screams Ruby, like if I could take all the things I imagine and know about her so far and put all of that into a box, it would be this room.

  The bed dominates the space, two small side tables on either side, with a lamp on one that casts the room in a soft glow. Photos are stuck to the far wall beside her bed. A huge collage of pictures of her and Sienna, other people too, all laughing and having fun. Having a normal life.

  There’s a small desk shoved in another corner, textbooks piled high next to a jar of pens and pencils, and folders of her work strewn across the surface. A bookcase is close by, the shelves lined with novels and candles and what look like tiny random figurines.

  Chuckling, I walk closer, my fingers gently picking one of them up. It’s a tiny Yoda figurine, although it’s not just Star Wars ones that she has. There are also little Lego men, a Hello Kitty toy and other random ones, all spread across the shelves.